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View Full Version : How far into dating is it okay to fart in front of the other person ?



lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 01:05 PM
1st date, 2nd, 3rd ? 10th ? 11+ ?


i encountered a 2nd date farter, and since i wasn't too into her to begin with i basically ceased contact w/ her

i would have let it slip (hek hek...) if she were more in line with my chi and shit



so, what's acceptable to/for you?

Westy
08-21-2008, 01:16 PM
You look kinda familiar. Did you attend a speech class last fall at Saddleback college?

marooko
08-21-2008, 01:24 PM
never.

allyjoy
08-21-2008, 01:27 PM
girls don't fart

marooko
08-21-2008, 01:30 PM
i love you!!!. OMG. im in love.

Heresy
08-21-2008, 01:32 PM
How weird. My co-workers and I were talking about this subject an hour ago.

One of them agreed at least 6 months hahaha

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 01:34 PM
You look kinda familiar. Did you attend a speech class last fall at Saddleback college?



actually i took that class in fall of 2000, i think



who are you ?

Westy
08-21-2008, 01:37 PM
actually i took that class in fall of 2000, i think



who are you ?

I'm Westy. You look like someone, but i guess the avatars are pretty small, so I must be mistaken.

thestripe
08-21-2008, 01:38 PM
You people should not be allowed to leave this thread.

marooko
08-21-2008, 01:50 PM
actually i took that class in fall of 2000, i think



who are you ?


to help others or to help yourself?

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 01:53 PM
what?

how about neither, since i didn't even need the class to begin with

captncrzy
08-21-2008, 01:56 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/new_thread_cat.gif

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:00 PM
what?

how about neither, since i didn't even need the class to begin with

just curious, dude. on that note, why did you take it?

amyzzz
08-21-2008, 02:11 PM
girls don't fart
Please don't perpetuate this misconception. My husband almost has a heart attack every time I have to let one slip (and I only do it if I absolutely have to, okay??), and I'm sick of him saying "sorry, double standard! I'm allowed to fart and you're not."

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 02:11 PM
cause i wasn't really paying much attention to what i needed at the time ?

it was still useful, however







anyway, can we get back to the topic ? have a gas...

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:12 PM
when you were in class, did any girls fart there?

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 02:14 PM
i wish i had been that lucky




i once walked into class (high school) with some dog shit on the bottom of my shoe without realizing it. that was pretty bad. good thing those under the seat binder trays scrape shoes well...

sames44
08-21-2008, 02:17 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/new_thread_cat.gif

Love this

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:18 PM
yeah, because we can have too many threads, but never too many cat pics, gifs, vids, etc. yeah.

BROKENDOLL
08-21-2008, 02:19 PM
girls don't fart Now, Allyjoy...You know we do on occassion, but we have found that bitching relieves the same amount of internal pressure, thus we do that instead. Men should probably be grateful for this too. I know if I quit bitching and farted instead, there'd be days I'd probably shit my shorts! Anyway, back to the original post... It is something that EVERYBODY does, but that doesn't mean try to impress your date by going through the music scales, or worse, breaking some sound barrier. Hell, I thought Suffacated had issues with his cellphone calls when we first started hanging out. He'd always go out side, or need something from his truck. Then there was that first time it happened and I gigled like it was nothing...Biggest mistake ever! Lord knows how long he would have gone before exploding into tiny pieces everywhere! Not only can he do those scales, I've figured out where his board name comes from! He tries to convince me it's a bonding thing and I should join him! Yeah, right! Like my mere little toot on a horn is gonna enhance his musical? I'll compromise...He can fart all he wants...as long as I can bitch about it! :rolleyes BTW...I'd say if you're comfortable enough to fuck, farting should be on the near horizon, but don't turn it into an event. (I'm done bitching now.) :)

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 02:21 PM
i forgot to mention that this 2nd date farter ripped ass twice, with some time between

woogie846
08-21-2008, 02:24 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/new_thread_cat.gif

hahahahahaha

amyzzz
08-21-2008, 02:25 PM
I knew I'd regret posting in this thread. oh well.

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:29 PM
i forgot to mention that this 2nd date farter ripped ass twice, with some time between

did she say excuse me or anything? sorry? i dont know, something?

SFChrissy
08-21-2008, 02:29 PM
http://www.hooked-nussu.org/images/stories/Sinnie/Oddball/db2072-i-love-to-fart.jpg

allyjoy
08-21-2008, 02:30 PM
Please don't perpetuate this misconception. My husband almost has a heart attack every time I have to let one slip (and I only do it if I absolutely have to, okay??), and I'm sick of him saying "sorry, double standard! I'm allowed to fart and you're not."

I was just kidding

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:31 PM
i take back my love. screw you.

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 02:33 PM
yah she did, but it wasn't a big deal or anything

sort of like icing on a cake that i wasn't really hungry for anyway



did she say excuse me or anything? sorry? i dont know, something?

allyjoy
08-21-2008, 02:34 PM
i take back my love. screw you.

it's not the first time someone has taken back their love from me... it won't be the last. :)

paulb
08-21-2008, 02:34 PM
ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years almost, and still have never farted in front of her, and never heard her either...

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:35 PM
icing? thats like a 4 yr olds slobber on a cake you didnt want after he blew the candles out.

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:35 PM
it's not the first time someone has taken back their love from me... it won't be the last. :)

i was just messing. but if we ever meet, you cant fart.

allyjoy
08-21-2008, 02:36 PM
I don't fart in public as a general rule... but things happen that are beyond one's control. I make no promises.

marooko
08-21-2008, 02:37 PM
alright, then no beans or wheat beer. deal?

allyjoy
08-21-2008, 02:37 PM
deal

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 02:40 PM
i strongly suggest anyone that has serious gas to find a suitable location for its immediate release, else you may face serious consquences (e.g. cold sweats, tunnel vision, and fainting- which may result in some dirty drawers)

TomAz
08-21-2008, 03:28 PM
ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years almost, and still have never farted in front of her, and never heard her either...

you need to drink more. lots more.

vogina
08-21-2008, 03:33 PM
you need to drink more. lots more.

hahahahahahahahah so true.. so true..

went down got queefed on..but isnt that like feeding her beans and expecting it?

amyzzz
08-21-2008, 03:48 PM
Do you know what a queef is? (do I need to go there?)

marooko
08-21-2008, 03:52 PM
air caught up in your junk that escapes.

amyzzz
08-21-2008, 04:02 PM
I know what it is; I was asking if that person knew. Damnit, I said it wrong.

lafolieverte
08-21-2008, 04:15 PM
everyone knows queafs (queaves?) to quove, hath quoven, etc

BROKENDOLL
08-21-2008, 04:28 PM
air caught up in your junk that escapes. Sorry Marooko, but your shit is called junk...ours is more a treasure.

gaypalmsprings
08-21-2008, 04:34 PM
http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/no_cat_farts.jpg

BROKENDOLL
08-21-2008, 04:39 PM
http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/no_cat_farts.jpg Now with cats...I really don't think they fart. They purr...

bluemamba
08-21-2008, 04:55 PM
hahahahahahahahah so true.. so true..

went down got queefed on..but isnt that like feeding her beans and expecting it?

I dont think you know what queef is. Plus, your not lucky enough to be queefed on.


everyone knows queafs (queaves?) to quove, hath quoven, etc

le quiven, queefeth, queelofaleth, etc etc etc


Now with cats...I really don't think they fart. They purr...

Or shit on your livingroom carpet and then you throw them out the window of a moving car.

suprefan
08-21-2008, 05:04 PM
This question is actually being asked?

bluemamba
08-21-2008, 05:15 PM
Yeah. Try answering it.

malcolmjamalawesome
08-21-2008, 07:24 PM
1st date, 2nd, 3rd ? 10th ? 11+ ?


i encountered a 2nd date farter, and since i wasn't too into her to begin with i basically ceased contact w/ her

i would have let it slip (hek hek...) if she were more in line with my chi and shit



so, what's acceptable to/for you?

I assume whomever you are dating must be disgusting to look at. So I say do it right away.

frozen pilgrim
08-21-2008, 09:23 PM
after she does.
preferably IMMEDIATELY after she does, to alleviate her embarrassment and make it one of those classic relationship milestones.

algunz
08-21-2008, 09:37 PM
I really don't understand the big deal about farting. I remember the first time I farted in front of a boyfriend and I remember being horribly embarrassed. He thought it was amusing and we moved on. I farted within the first month with my husband, but it was after he had already made it clear to me that he could give two shits about gas. We got REALLY close really fast. But as I said, I really don't understand the big deal. We all pass gas. My daughter let out a big one today while sitting on my lap after a nice meal with family today. It vibrated my whole seat. I'm so proud.

During sex, now that's a different story. That shit is just fucking funny.

gaypalmsprings
08-21-2008, 09:56 PM
The interwebs know all....

Is it true that a woman can fart out of her, shall we say, frontal opening, and if so, where does the gas come from?

Yes, it is true! The gas that emerges is simply trapped air, for there is no gas production in the genitalia of a woman. The air can enter because the system is open to the outside. This highly specialized kind of fart is sometimes called a queef. This occurs especially frequently during the sex act, when air in the genitalia gets compressed and is forced out at high pressure.

In the British Isles, this phenomenon is known as a "fanny fart." Whereas, in the United States, "fanny" refers to the buttocks, in Great Britain, the word pertains to the female pudenda.

Is it weird to enjoy farting?

It is not unusual to enjoy farting. I believe that enjoyment of farting is a healthy attitude, since everyone has to fart. If a person is farting to the extent that it creates problems and unhappiness, then a visit to a doctor is in order.

Is it common for people to enjoy smelling their own farts?

I believe that it is not only common, it is universal. A person farts and then thinks, at least subconsciously, "Wow, I made that!"

Can farting be considered sexy?

Everything imaginable, and many things not imaginable, can be considered sexy by humans. However, the female southern pine beetle exudes a pheromone called frontalin in her flatus that not only serves to attract males but acts as a general gathering call to both males and females of her species. Her farts are an invitation to an orgy. Unfortunately for her, her frontalin-laden farts also attract predators.

fatbastard
08-21-2008, 09:59 PM
I am not cool with this in front of anyone. I go to the bathroom and sit on the can when the feeling comes. How sanitary is it to release gas on your clothes and yourself and continue to walk around? Say no to farting in front of another person.

algunz
08-21-2008, 10:16 PM
I just think that's sad. Two of my good friends have never farted in front of their wives. To me, that is such a sign of repression that I wonder how little else they share with each other.

I can't say that I enjoy mine or other's farts, but jesus christ what is the big deal. It's a shitty smell that lingers for a moment and then goes away.

Memorial_07
08-21-2008, 10:16 PM
Even if your married, it's not ok to fart in front of your spouse...
however 30-50 years in your not going to give a fuck

algunz
08-21-2008, 10:30 PM
Why?

gaypalmsprings
08-21-2008, 10:45 PM
you'll explode if you hold it in

algunz
08-21-2008, 10:49 PM
Exactly GayPalm, why must we be so repressed?

Mr.Nipples
08-21-2008, 11:19 PM
hluzdmzrpKo&hl=en&fs=1

Memorial_07
08-21-2008, 11:24 PM
Why?

Why what?

BROKENDOLL
08-22-2008, 02:21 AM
Nipples, I'm gonna hafta check that vid out tomorrow morning. I got "the look" last nite for laughing and waking the household up, can't risk it again tonite...this morning...WTF? Time to slither into bed, kids...

algunz
08-22-2008, 08:05 AM
Why what?

Why is not ok to fart in front of your spouse?

locachica73
08-22-2008, 08:11 AM
If you accidently let one go then fine (although it still embarrasses me, but then again I have trouble farting in the bathroom if I think someone might hear) but when your husband walks by and lets one go in your face or lifts his ass up and aims it at you then that is just not right.

algunz
08-22-2008, 08:22 AM
I guess my husband and I have a very different relationship than many others. It's not like we're walking around the house lettin' 'em go left and right. But when they come and it's just us around, we don't repress.

One of my most glorious moments was when we were cuddling on the floor watching TV and Jim's face happened to be down by my ass. I let a silent but deadly go. That was redemption.

My dad used to fart and blame it on the dog. We didn't have a dog. Then when we got one he'd blame it on the elephant under his chair.

My brother used to have me coccoon him into bed at night by tucking the sheets tightly around him and then he'd settle in and bask in his own smell.

Come to think of it I may have a very skewed perspective on gas, 'cause that all sounds pretty fucked up. :poo

marooko
08-22-2008, 08:25 AM
i was making up a test at school after class and my math teacher just fucking lets one rip. LOUD as fuck!!!. i look up all surprised and he's like..."did you hear that barking spider in the corner?!" all surprised and shit. i fucking laughed so damn hard. R.I.P Mr. Fitch.

locachica73
08-22-2008, 08:25 AM
I grew up in the same kind of family, they were all very proud of their bodily functions. I somehow got weird about them and still can't go to the bathroom in a public place in fear I might make an undesirable noise. I am the weird one though, I wish I could be more comfortable about those things, my shyness over such things has lead to many upset stomachs. When we all went to Hawaii together and shared rooms I wouldn't go to the bathroom unless there was no one in the hotel room or I would go down to the lobby to the public bathroom down there and wait till it was empty to use the restroom. I am weird.

Memorial_07
08-22-2008, 09:30 AM
Why is not ok to fart in front of your spouse?

They will always say it's improper.
but thats why I said about 30-50 years into the marriage you tend to not give a fuck because your old...what harm can a fart do then?

allyjoy
08-22-2008, 09:33 AM
the average person passes gas 14 times a day

locachica73
08-22-2008, 10:58 AM
so that means my ex is above average. sweet.

BROKENDOLL
08-22-2008, 11:14 AM
I made the right choice about watching Nipples video last nite. Geez!

Heresy
08-22-2008, 03:38 PM
My dad farts around us but when other people are around he doesn't. Thank god.

It's weird. I burp infront of anyone, anywhere but I won't fart haha

Barbara, the ninja
08-22-2008, 05:17 PM
I put my boyfriends through the dutch oven gauntlet. The ones who endure are keepers.

bluemamba
08-22-2008, 05:36 PM
Why is not ok to fart in front of your spouse?
I say its ok. I really dont like to fart in front of people or burp but hey, its a natural thing. Me and my girlfriend are past the burp really load stage. Im sure we'll get to the fart in each others faces part.


If you accidently let one go then fine (although it still embarrasses me, but then again I have trouble farting in the bathroom if I think someone might hear) but when your husband walks by and lets one go in your face or lifts his ass up and aims it at you then that is just not right.
You know youd like it.... lol..


the average person passes gas 14 times a day
I find that hard to believe. 14 time?? wow.


hluzdmzrpKo&hl=en&fs=1

You make me sick Nipples.

dnbmunke
08-24-2008, 02:40 PM
Fart immediately after fucking for the first time. Why wait?

dnbmunke
08-24-2008, 02:42 PM
BTW has anyone else tried to fart and instead shot out a stream of chocolate milk?

Man I did that shit at a nice hotel in San Diego...

anywho that's my claim to fame

TheGunner'sDream
08-27-2008, 12:46 AM
Fart immediately after fucking for the first time. Why wait?

Do that and you most likely will not have sex with that person ever again.

gaypalmsprings
08-27-2008, 05:47 AM
It still embarrasses me to fart in front of myself.

marooko
08-27-2008, 07:05 AM
It still embarrasses me to fart in front of myself.

WTF?! hahahaha

fatbastard
08-27-2008, 07:14 AM
One word: brand

algunz
08-28-2008, 10:59 PM
It still embarrasses me to fart in front of myself.

Do you say excuse me?

stuporfly
08-29-2008, 04:51 AM
I've got a second date with someone tonight, and maybe I'll crack one off in the middle of dinner.

paganman7
08-29-2008, 06:48 AM
I've been married to my wife for 7 years, and I dated her for 9 years before that (we started dating when we were 15), and I have yet to fart in front of her...curious.

gaypalmsprings
08-29-2008, 06:53 AM
I've been married to my wife for 7 years, and I dated her for 9 years before that (we started dating when we were 15), and I have yet to fart in front of her...curious.

Has she queefed in front of you in all those years?

TheGunner'sDream
08-29-2008, 09:04 AM
Shes queefed ON him. Try letting one rip in front on her, paganman. If the relationship doesnt survive it, then it wasnt meant to be.

paganman7
08-29-2008, 09:22 AM
Has she queefed in front of you in all those years?


Damn. How hard was it for you to type the word "queef"? I can only imagine that you had to sanitize your keyboard afterwords!

boarderwoozel3
08-29-2008, 09:26 AM
This is silly, farting is a natural body function. If you're not trying to be gross about it and let a few slip but your significant other still can't deal with it they're probably not a great fit on a number of levels anyway. Sheesh.


PS- A good dutch oven never hurt anyone... much.

stuporfly
08-29-2008, 10:05 AM
PS- A good dutch oven never hurt anyone... much.

You know, I've been trying to pinpoint the moment when my relationship with my ex-wife lost its romantic lustre - I think the Dutch oven might just be the clue I was looking for.

BROKENDOLL
08-29-2008, 11:16 AM
I'm almost afraid to ask....Dutch Oven?

locachica73
08-29-2008, 02:28 PM
I'm almost afraid to ask....Dutch Oven?

I believe it is when your significant other lets one go under the blankets and then pulls the blanket up over your head and forces you to smell it, but I could be wrong.

marooko
08-29-2008, 04:03 PM
nope, thats it.

bluemamba
08-30-2008, 01:31 PM
:thu Thats a good way to test the love your SO has for you. Give them a Dutch Oven. If she doesnt pack up her thongs the next morning, your in good hands.

greghead
08-31-2008, 01:29 PM
No farting until the word "love" is uttered. That's part of the deal of saying you love somebody, you have to accept the fact that they fart and shit. Luckily for me, my girlfriend still keeps this all hidden. Unfortunately for her, I don't.

comiddle
08-31-2008, 01:58 PM
I put my boyfriends through the dutch oven gauntlet. The ones who endure are keepers.

I do this to the missus all the time.
The best was with one of her own. It was rancid. We actually had to leave the room on that one... just to let it air out a bit.

On a related note, I smell like something crawled up my butt and died today.

stuporfly
09-01-2008, 05:10 AM
I had no gastrointestinal difficulties on my date on Friday night, so the option never arose. I'll report back on any future developments. A third date is imminent, so there could well be news before too long.

TheGunner'sDream
09-01-2008, 08:45 AM
Cheers M8!!!!

MiamiNate
09-01-2008, 07:09 PM
first time I did was during sex with her. maybe the 5th time we "did it"

I was hittin from behind and it slipped out.
we didn't talk about it until after. And she told me she told her friends.
After that it was on, no time was safe for either of us.

Then, just short of 4 years together, she dumped me.

gaypalmsprings
09-01-2008, 07:12 PM
she dumped me.

Does this have anything to do with it?

http://www.fart-sounds.net/child_birth_dump.jpg

frozen pilgrim
09-01-2008, 07:14 PM
...that's like eight courics.

MiamiNate
09-01-2008, 07:42 PM
Does this have anything to do with it?

http://www.fart-sounds.net/child_birth_dump.jpg


she showed me her poops more than I showed her mine.
really, everything was on the table.
everything.

BROKENDOLL
09-01-2008, 07:46 PM
Does this have anything to do with it?

http://www.fart-sounds.net/child_birth_dump.jpg The hit I just took off my cigarette just damn near killed me when I saw this, GPS!

BROKENDOLL
09-01-2008, 08:01 PM
Going back in this thread to my first post and reading from there has just brought a "shitload" of laughter...
They will always say it's improper.
but thats why I said about 30-50 years into the marriage you tend to not give a fuck because your old...what harm can a fart do then? Besides, by that time neither one of you can hear anyway. Suffacated and I made a pact that we would be there for each other to tend to our bedpans one day...Isn't that special?


No farting until the word "love" is uttered. That's part of the deal of saying you love somebody, you have to accept the fact that they fart and shit. Luckily for me, my girlfriend still keeps this all hidden. Unfortunately for her, I don't. This sounds like us except for the fact that I think he was able to actually utter the words, "I love you" out his ass!


I had no gastrointestinal difficulties on my date on Friday night, so the option never arose. I'll report back on any future developments. A third date is imminent, so there could well be news before too long. They say the third time is a charm...Charm the shit out of her! :thu


she showed me her poops more than I showed her mine.
really, everything was on the table.
everything. Whoa, now wait a sec...This intimancy was shared on the table? Well, allrighty then...

bluemamba
09-02-2008, 06:16 PM
first time I did was during sex with her. maybe the 5th time we "did it"

I was hittin from behind and it slipped out.
we didn't talk about it until after. And she told me she told her friends.
After that it was on, no time was safe for either of us.

Then, just short of 4 years together, she dumped me.

So she dumped you cuz you farted during sex?? Ohh well. Thats life buddy. Tough break. I guess we all have our fetishes. How far into dating is it ok to blow your load on your SO?? ohhh ....... nvm.... getting a little off topic.

fatbastard
09-10-2008, 08:16 PM
Does this have anything to do with it?

http://www.fart-sounds.net/child_birth_dump.jpg

The idea of this photo was stolen from an 1978 Easy Rider Magazine.

fatbastard
09-10-2008, 08:24 PM
I hate to bump this thread but something happened last Saturday that made me think of this thread.

I helped a friend move his stuff from his old home into a new home. He also had friends and co-workers come and help. About 2 hours into the move, his mother in law stood right next to me in his new garage and let a loud one rip. She made some type of "bless me" comment or other to aknowledge the fart. While unloading the final moving truck load, I carried an item from the truck through the garage and into my friends house, his brother in law let one rip. There were only a couple of items left in the truck, it was so loud that it made an echo sound inside the truck. I had just exited the garage but it was so loud I could hear it. What the fuck is wrong with people? Sit on a toilet. I'm done. I just wanted to mention that there are some people out there who don't even consider the number of times they've met someone.

fatbastard
09-25-2008, 08:01 PM
Great. Now is seems like this subject is following me.


Charge dropped against man accused of passing gas Thu Sep 25, 5:06 PM ET

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20080925/capt.56cfc81c98f14abea6d52f3c6c138912.odd_flatulen ce_charge_ny113.jpg?x=180&y=231&q=85&sig=LN5cVvSHDk93aAbx8sQugg--

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer no longer faces a battery charge. The Kanawha County prosecutor's office requested that the charge be dropped against 34-year-old Jose Cruz.

According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken to the police station for a breathalyzer test. Cruz denies fanning the gas and says his request to use a restroom when first arriving at the station was denied.

An assistant says Magistrate Jack Pauley signed a motion to dismiss the charge Thursday.

Cruz, who was arrested Tuesday, still faces driving under the influence and other charges.

gaypalmsprings
09-25-2008, 08:06 PM
when you get older, lifting causes one to fart

fatbastard
09-25-2008, 08:09 PM
Gay,
Are you going to Alison at the orpheum next month? I've been listening to Alf but not impressing me enough to buy a ticket.

gaypalmsprings
09-25-2008, 08:10 PM
I'm glad you bumped, so we could add tags.

BROKENDOLL
09-25-2008, 08:16 PM
when you get older, lifting causes one to fart Pffft...laughing also has a tendency to do the same thing. I know. GPS, your post just made me laugh so hard that I, well... just, you know...Pfft...:rotfl

bluemamba
09-25-2008, 08:18 PM
Pffft...laughing also has a tendency to do the same thing. I know. GPS, your post just made me laugh so hard that I, well... just, you know...Pfft...:rotfl

LOL

Happy 4k posts BTW. Half of those were bashing randy lol

BROKENDOLL
09-25-2008, 08:30 PM
Pffft...laughing also has a tendency to do the same thing. I know. GPS, your post just made me laugh so hard that I, well... just, you know...Pfft...:rotfl


LOL

Happy 4k posts BTW. Half of those were bashing randy lol You've got to be shitting me! You know what that means, don't you??? Those "pffts" weren't really farts...They were fireworks!!!:dumbo

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/niagRAFALLS059-1.jpg:dumbo

gaypalmsprings
09-25-2008, 08:38 PM
Gay,
Are you going to Alison at the orpheum next month? I've been listening to Alf but not impressing me enough to buy a ticket.

No, I don't think so. She'll be at El Rey & Honda. I like her better with Yaz than solo - though I've never seen her solo live.

algunz
09-25-2008, 08:42 PM
"I fart in your general direction."

BROKENDOLL
09-25-2008, 09:02 PM
That made me feel all warm and fuzzy...Do it again, Algunz...:O

algunz
09-25-2008, 09:03 PM
Nah, I'm overrated.

gaypalmsprings
09-25-2008, 09:13 PM
you stink. ha.

RotationSlimWang
09-25-2008, 09:15 PM
The real question is how long into a relationship is it okay to fart ON the other person?

I'm sure Ivy will disagree with the correct answer. =)

gaypalmsprings
09-25-2008, 09:16 PM
farts should rise due to the gases, lest you have some poop residue which would land ON the other person

CalmerThanYou
09-25-2008, 09:24 PM
farting in the other person mouth FTW

algunz
09-25-2008, 09:28 PM
eeewww!!!

cansei de ser sexme
09-25-2008, 09:29 PM
brazilian fart porn!

Young blood
09-30-2009, 02:44 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/new_thread_cat.gif

!!!

BROKENDOLL
09-30-2009, 04:21 PM
It depends on the type of person you and the person you're dating. It's all about compatibility, I guess...


Fart Psych 101

There are many types of people who fart every day. It's your job to identify them, point them, out, and call them by name! (Assuming it wasn't you who did it, of course!) Here's a quick run-down of the type of people you're likely to catch farting around you on a daily basis:

The Vain Person: One who loves the smell of his own farts.

The Amiable Person: One who loves the smell of other people's farts.


The Proud Person: One who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.


The Shy Person: One who releases silent farts and then blushes.


The Impudent Person: One who farts loudly and then laughs.


The Scientific Person: One who farts regularly but is truly concerned about air pollution.


The Unfortunate Person: One who tries awfully hard to fart but poops instead.


The Nervous Person: One who stops in the middle of a fart.


The Honest Person: One who admits he farted but offers a medical reason for it.


The Dishonest Person: One who farts and then blames the dog.


The Foolish Person: One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.


The Thrifty Person: One who always has several farts in reserve.


The Anti-Social Person: One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.


The Strategic Person: One who conceals his farts with loud laughter.


The Sadistic Person: One who farts in bed and then fluffs the bed covers over his bed mates head.


The Intellectual Person: One who determines from the smell of his neighbor's fart precisely the latest food item he consumed.


The Athletic Person: One who farts at the slightest exertion.


The Miserable Person: One who would truly love to but can't fart at all.


The Sensitive Person: One who farts and then bursts into tears.


The Bruiser: One who farts so hard and loud that he bruises his butt cheeks.

Coachella Bound
09-30-2009, 04:32 PM
EVERYONE FARTS!

If she does it on the first date, then you sir have got yourself a winner!

brittany
09-30-2009, 05:04 PM
Farting shouldn't be embarrassing, BUT it's rude to let other people smell it! Go in the other room if it's gonna be stinky. :)

Mr.Nipples
09-30-2009, 05:24 PM
tsczqfWVup0&hl=en&fs=1&

BROKENDOLL
10-02-2009, 03:03 AM
It's 2 am...He's peacefully sleeping when I decide to join him at night. I slowly and quietly climb into bed, kiss him gently on the cheek, and cuddle up behind him in the spooning position. His gentle breathing has a relaxing effect and I feel myself nearing sleep quickly. (*Insert the calming sound of a light breeze, or crickets*)

At the moment where your body takes that one last deep breath before you head towards your dreams, you hear and feel it...Slightly muffled against your thigh...You stifle a little giggle as he begins to stir, then he asks, "What is so funny?"

I answered, "You just farted on my thigh and it reminded me of when we were in the Sahara tent, right up front by those huge speakers. You know, when they drop that bass and you can actually feel a whoosh of air against your body." Moments like that are what tell you it's forever, my friends...:pulse

JewFace
10-02-2009, 01:13 PM
There was some salty comedienne (I wish I could remember who it was) who was asked what the secret to a long marriage was and, without hesitating, she said "never let him see you take a shit."

I've dated a bit and been in a couple of relationships. My longest LTR lasted under 2 years. Not once in those nearly two years did I fart in his presence. He heard me snore, he saw me fall-down ridiculous drunk, he saw me lipsync to En Vogue in my underwear, saw me clip my toenails, saw me watch The Real Housewives of Orange County and then deny that I'd ever even heard of the show. BUT, he never heard (nor smelled) a fart. It's just a courtesy I always extended to him and one that he did for me. It never required a discussion either. I would think this is more the standard for couples, but apparently I'm wrong. Anyway, what the hell do I know. He left me for a woman. Maybe I should have farted all over him.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
10-02-2009, 01:59 PM
my girlfriend farted in front of me once, while she was insanely drunk and vomiting in the toilet and i was holding her hair and stuff. She was was intensely mortified by it.

I tell her all the time to just let it loose but she refuses. I fart in front of her A LOT

BROKENDOLL
10-02-2009, 02:48 PM
There was some salty comedienne (I wish I could remember who it was) who was asked what the secret to a long marriage was and, without hesitating, she said "never let him see you take a shit."

I've dated a bit and been in a couple of relationships. My longest LTR lasted under 2 years. Not once in those nearly two years did I fart in his presence. He heard me snore, he saw me fall-down ridiculous drunk, he saw me lipsync to En Vogue in my underwear, saw me clip my toenails, saw me watch The Real Housewives of Orange County and then deny that I'd ever even heard of the show. BUT, he never heard (nor smelled) a fart. It's just a courtesy I always extended to him and one that he did for me. It never required a discussion either. I would think this is more the standard for couples, but apparently I'm wrong. Anyway, what the hell do I know. He left me for a woman. Maybe I should have farted all over him.
A salty comedienne? Gotta be Lisa Lampinelli. She's got enough salt to fill an ocean! LOL

Anyway, I'm rather suprised, JewFace, that with your sexual orientation n' all, that there hasn't been a queef-like addition to your romps on ocassion.(Somewhat like a belch after a great meal.)
As far as the standard couple thing goes...I had to ask "suffacated" (<funny, that should have been my first clue!) what he did for the almost 15 or so years we had been friends before he actually blessed me with his essense. According to him, and I can verify this, he went outside whenever the need arose. (I just thought he was the outdoorsey type actually.) Anyway, years ago, my mother, (Bless her heart) had warned me that once you let them slip one by, it's on for the duration. What she never mentioned was whether or not it was a good thing to keep him if he was able to recite Bethoven's Last Symphony out his ass! Suffacted claims it's a bonding thing and we should do a duet together sometime. I'm not so sure or confident enough to believe I won't sing our of key though, so I'm quite hesitant.


my girlfriend farted in front of me once, while she was insanely drunk and vomiting in the toilet and i was holding her hair and stuff. She was was intensely mortified by it.

I tell her all the time to just let it loose but she refuses. I fart in front of her A LOT
Okay, I confess...While sound asleep at the hotel during EDC this year, I apparently let alittle PLUR out... Now, I'm not sure if he was also asleep, or already up and alert, but for the life of me, I don't know why he had to wake me up and make this announcement as if the headliners had been announced for Coachella! Seriously, I was laying there with only 2-3 hours of sleep, covered in glitter and boa feathers from the night before, and you wake me up to tell me about something like that? I mean, he was like seriously elated!

cubrocker
10-02-2009, 03:03 PM
its okay to fart once youve had sex twice.

boarderwoozel3
10-02-2009, 03:07 PM
Like again the next morning 'twice' or second date 'twice'?

SoulDischarge
10-02-2009, 03:10 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/new_thread_cat.gif

. . . http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32868&highlight=fuschia

(Not that I don't agree with you, but just sayin'.)

cubrocker
10-02-2009, 03:27 PM
Like again the next morning 'twice' or second date 'twice'?

no two separate occurances. again the next morning doesnt count as the second time.

i think by the time youve had sex twice separately youre comfortable enough being naked together anyway that a fart isnt so bad anymore.

psychic friend
10-02-2009, 03:36 PM
no farting.

cubrocker
10-02-2009, 03:38 PM
no farting.

farting is healthy.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-02-2009, 03:38 PM
no farting.

This should apply to the Sahara, also.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-02-2009, 03:40 PM
9IH3kjY7j7U

cubrocker
10-02-2009, 03:46 PM
9IH3kjY7j7U

wtf did i just watch?

MissingPerson
10-02-2009, 03:51 PM
MJA, do you draw your power from the Human Centipede posts, or do they draw theirs from you?

malcolmjamalawesome
10-02-2009, 03:52 PM
It's a raising awareness thing. Like breast cancer.

SoulDischarge
10-02-2009, 03:54 PM
Fuck. I finally watched that/clicked the link in the movie thread. Fuck.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-02-2009, 03:55 PM
I mean ... it's going to be INTENSE.

boarderwoozel3
10-02-2009, 03:56 PM
Farting becomes entirely unacceptable as a human centipede link. WORST. FORM. EVER.

amyzzz
10-02-2009, 03:57 PM
I am NOT watching that trailer ever.

MissingPerson
10-02-2009, 04:02 PM
At some point in the Human Centipede relationship, farting is surely unavoidable. Then again, depending on how skilled the surgeon was, it's possible that only the last link can actually be said to fart.

boarderwoozel3
10-02-2009, 04:04 PM
It's not that bad. In fact, it's a little PLUR if you look at it from a teamwork perspective.

*random thought* Does the doctor cut out their tongue too? If not everyone is getting one hell of a rim job. Except for the caboose, that just sucks.

obzen
10-02-2009, 05:37 PM
Wtf is going on in that clip?!

algunz
10-02-2009, 05:46 PM
Farting is the least of the centipede's concerns. They're shitting down each other's throats.

MissingPerson
10-02-2009, 05:50 PM
Actually, if it's a single system between the three - and I believe that's the purpose of the centipede - then there's no interruption. It's just one continuous tract.


...


I've given this more thought than anyone of sound mind should.

algunz
10-02-2009, 05:53 PM
So they're shitting through each other's throats?

boarderwoozel3
10-02-2009, 06:25 PM
Eww. Which brings up another query: Nutrition. How are the ones with their mouths sewn to a sphincter going to live? IV?

Now I'm curious enough to see this freakfest. In the name of science--with a healthy dose of morbid curiosity.

rskapcat
10-02-2009, 07:18 PM
Actually, if it's a single system between the three - and I believe that's the purpose of the centipede - then there's no interruption. It's just one continuous tract.


...


I've given this more thought than anyone of sound mind should.


Eww. Which brings up another query: Nutrition. How are the ones with their mouths sewn to a sphincter going to live? IV?

Now I'm curious enough to see this freakfest. In the name of science--with a healthy dose of morbid curiosity.

Thank GOD there are other people curious about the logistics of this! I don't even care to see the movie...I just want to know the science behind it! No scary...all technical.

And staying on topic of this thread...I've been married almost 10 years. A day that passes by without farts is rare. Aaaaand...I unintentionally farted in front of Andy the first night we hung out. I am a classy, classy lady.

Wheres the beef?
10-03-2009, 02:38 AM
Said video has since been taken down. Now I want to know what I missed.

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 02:45 AM
Said video has since been taken down. Now I want to know what I missed.

Oh fuck man, the trailer was 50 seconds of freak-gross-out. This coming from a person with a fairly high tolerance for that sort of thing Looks like a narly film to say the least.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 03:43 AM
Just Google search "The Human Centipede" trailer.

I may seem like I'm lampooning this movie but, in actuality, I'm really really fascinated to see how/if they pull it off. It's just such a bizarre concept.

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 03:47 AM
Im curious to see what they do with the rest of the running time. Human Centipede goes to the movies? Human Centipede goes on vacation? Human Centipede takes Manhattan? What?

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 03:48 AM
http://www.fearnet.com/news/b16781_human_centipede_first_sequence_clip.html

This kind of gets into the plot and confirms a lot of what we're saying here. I like that the poster says "100% Medically Accurate".

SoulDischarge
10-03-2009, 01:54 PM
Im curious to see what they do with the rest of the running time. Human Centipede goes to the movies? Human Centipede goes on vacation? Human Centipede takes Manhattan? What?

I'm hoping it finds love, fame & fortune in the fashion industry.

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 01:56 PM
Romantic Comedy Human Centipede FTW.

gaypalmsprings
10-03-2009, 02:01 PM
When farting on your first date, don't get too close...

http://i480.photobucket.com/albums/rr166/setproa/livask.jpg

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 02:06 PM
Wat?

greghead
10-03-2009, 04:00 PM
Aaaaand...I unintentionally farted in front of Andy the first night we hung out. I am a classy, classy lady.

I laughed.

I fart in front of Jennie (my girlfriend) pretty much hourly. And I laugh in her face afterwards. I really don't give a fuck about farting. After six years she's finally come around and will let a couple "toots" (as she calls them) go every now and then.

fatbastard
10-03-2009, 04:41 PM
Say no to farting in front of people.

Suffacated
10-03-2009, 04:49 PM
Epic = A minimum of 30 seconds with at least 4 note changes.
Do this and you receive "Professional Farter" status.

gaypalmsprings
10-03-2009, 04:50 PM
Say no to farting in front of people.

sigged

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 04:53 PM
Centipede pictures, scroll down (http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/32390/human-centipede-stills-slither-out)

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 05:05 PM
I feel like this thing should have it's own Awareness Day and charity wristband.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 05:19 PM
Centipede pictures, scroll down (http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/32390/human-centipede-stills-slither-out)

I've been to parties like this.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 05:20 PM
Can I get a custom title of "Human Centipede"? Thank you.

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 05:21 PM
Honestly, the most disquieting thing about that whole article was when I got to the bit about the teeth and thought "Yes, that's how I'd have done it alright."

Warped me, you people have.

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 05:24 PM
It's a planned trilogy. I wonder if each one focuses on a different part of the centipede's backstory.

paulb
10-03-2009, 05:26 PM
its me and Jennys 3 year anniversary in 2 days....still no farts between us.... sometimes it hurts...

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 05:26 PM
How the centipede was bullied in school because it was shit at Cheerleading?

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 05:26 PM
.still no farts between us.... sometimes it hurts...

This is funniest in Centipede context.

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 05:29 PM
Everything is a little funnier juxtaposed to mouth-to-anus grafting.

MissingPerson
10-03-2009, 05:30 PM
Rollerskating in particular.

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 05:31 PM
Centipedes prefer skateboards.

gaypalmsprings
10-03-2009, 05:35 PM
http://sea.hidden-street.net/monsters/images/monsters231_attack.gif

Astrid
10-03-2009, 05:36 PM
i dont particularly fart that often, but i dont understand how all of you non farters do it? you just hold it in until your SO leaves the room??

please explain this madness.


also i cant fathom how the people in the chain will be nourished??

boarderwoozel3
10-03-2009, 05:50 PM
Centipedes on hold for one moment-

Being a natural body function it doesn't really bother me unless someone is being obnoxious about it. However, one place that farting is inexcusable is at the gym. I was on an eloptical cardio machine surrounded by women and one of them, I don't know who, emitted the foulest sent I've had the displeasure of coming across in some time, twice. I damn near gagged. Horrible form.

-Centipedes back in.

gaypalmsprings
10-03-2009, 05:53 PM
http://brainlessworld.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/signs18.jpg

BROKENDOLL
10-03-2009, 10:29 PM
its me and Jennys 3 year anniversary in 2 days....still no farts between us.... sometimes it hurts...
I don't know if I'm more suprised by the no farting deal, or the fact that a guy remembered his 3 year-2 day anniversary! :pulse to you both!
I think you should celebrate with fireworks together! :winkiss



i dont particularly fart that often, but i dont understand how all of you non farters do it? you just hold it in until your SO leaves the room??

please explain this madness.


also i cant fathom how the people in the chain will be nourished??
You have to be creative and take advantage of opportunities when they arise if you're the shy type.
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/7CAKV2ZS4CA1MLGD1CABCT24ZCACAJ6KUCA.jpg
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/heels_pumps_legs_713_l.jpg
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/fart.jpg
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/GCA40YYGUCAZ3NWQ0CAIBNWR6CA0TF6JLCA.jpg


Centipedes on hold for one moment-
-Centipedes back in.
Are those lines from the movie?
Can you imagine holding a centipede?

malcolmjamalawesome
10-03-2009, 11:12 PM
Hue. Men. Scent. It. Peed.