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whynotsmile99
08-05-2008, 08:40 PM
This last Sunday, my friend and I made it to the Roast of Bob Saget. It was quite memorable in many ways.

Though we had to wait in line a ridiculous 4 hours it was so, so worth it. We make it through section after section line after line feeling like we are lined up for the slaughter house. The sun was going down and it was hot as fuck.
Around 6pm, we make it to the beer section. How nice. A nice cold draft beer and an energry drink courtsey of WB. 2 more hours of waiting in the hot sun.

Finally we make it into the studio. As the entire place was full, I thought we would be on the bleechers pressed up against the back wall. Boy was I wrong.

I ended up at probably the greatest seat in the house, 3 people back from the podium, totally clean view. I was second table from the stage. The table had snack food and 4 huge pitchers on it, two with wine, two filled with beer.

The beer/wine/soft drinks were constantly refilled by the most stunningly beautiful woman I've ever seen. She was wearing this ridiculous coursage thing and not much else. I looked around, about 3 beers in before the show started and felt like I was in a bizzaro world.

I was sitting behind Alan Thick, right next to Llyod from "Entourage" and noticed a bunch of Tila Tiquila or Flavor of Love Girls sitting around me.

THe show was fucking hilarious. Easily one of the funniest roasts I've seen, though I'm biased and way drunk.

Jon Lovitz and Norm McDonald were the only roasters who sorta bombed, though they provided so much fodder for the other comedians it made it worth it. Saget was great, loved Bob Ross, Jeff Garlin, Suzie Easman from Curb Your Enthusaiam was hilarious, Gilbert Godfred, Jim Norton, everything was great. John Stamos was even a really good roast master

But hands down the roast of the evening went to Cloris Leachman, the old time academy award wining actress. She got a standing ovation before she came on and I think she got one after. Funniest fucking thing in ages. A perfect roast. She was fantastic. Many jokes were thrown her way too. About 15 minutes of material from other comedieans had to deal with her vagina.

The roast ends and I'm drunk. I tried sneaking into the VIP party, almost made it, but got denied last second. I made it back to my friend who was beyond drunk. He sat next to Doug Benson all night and ended up puking all over himself in the WB parking lot and on Barham as we left. People were passed out in the parking lot end of the night. Warner Brothers kept that booze flowing like nothing else!

We ended the night with a drunken quesadea from Poquito Mos.


Sometimes I really do love this town. Anyway, The roast airs on Comedy Central August 17. It's hilarious, well worth watching if thats your thing. I'm sure my ugly drunk mug will be all over it too, if they ever show Loyd or Alan Thick.

If you can ever make it to a taping, do it. Great time. I got my tickets from 1iota.com

I was so drunk, I fail to remember many of the jokes, but I was laughing constantly and my cheeks were hurting by the end of it.

I'll leave you with one gem I can remember, from Jim Norton to Ms. Leachman

"Your cunt is so old, I tickled it's lips and it coughed"

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/roast_saget/index.jhtml

bluemamba
08-06-2008, 12:48 AM
Why are your beginning post on a thread so long?? no one will read them.

Pixiessp
08-06-2008, 12:56 AM
i read it. made me want to go to one of those roasty thingies.

PassiveTheory
08-06-2008, 01:21 AM
Why are your beginning post on a thread so long?? no one will read them.

Why do you question the fact he chose to enlighten us with his experience? Jesus fuck you are such a goddamn killjoy.

Pixiessp
08-06-2008, 01:29 AM
yeah...what he said.

Backwater
08-06-2008, 01:29 AM
Reading that made me so jealous. I'm sure that was well worth the four hour wait. I recently saw Jon Lovitz at the laugh factory and it was basically a Bob Saget roast, only Bob wasn't there, and it wasn't funny. Lovitz was good on SNL and the Critic wasn't bad but these days he's lost it.

frozen pilgrim
08-06-2008, 05:43 AM
I woulda've given a nut to be at the flava flav roast

PassiveTheory
08-06-2008, 07:23 AM
I woulda've given a nut to be at the flava flav roast

You would have lost one too... and contracted gonorrhea or some godawful illness just from being exposed to the Flavor of Whore girls.

marooko
08-06-2008, 07:24 AM
dem bitchez iz skanks!!

Wheres the beef?
08-06-2008, 08:22 AM
I saw Bob doing standup last fall. It was far and away the funniest most obscene thing I ever saw or heard. The things he said could not be repeated here. Cheers to Bob Saget. Bob Saget is so obscene he makes the internet look like a preschool playground.

marooko
08-06-2008, 08:23 AM
ive heard abut that. thats fucking awesome.

locachica73
08-06-2008, 09:16 AM
Yeah I have seen his standup act, he is very dirty, I love it. Hard to believe he is Danny Tanner from Full House when you see him do his routine. I have never seen a roast on tv or otherwise but it sounds like it would be alot of fun. I may have to try to catch this one on tv.

frozen pilgrim
08-06-2008, 10:36 AM
ahhhahahahahaha oh man
"flavor of whore"
brilliant

bluemamba
08-06-2008, 10:57 AM
I saw Bob doing standup last fall. It was far and away the funniest most obscene thing I ever saw or heard. The things he said could not be repeated here. Cheers to Bob Saget. Bob Saget is so obscene he makes the internet look like a preschool playground.

????

But he was on Full House. Thats not possible.

thinnerair
08-06-2008, 11:17 AM
????

But he was on Full House. Thats not possible.

Youre a fucking burden.

Backwater
08-06-2008, 07:12 PM
"Have you ever sucked dick for coke?"

frozen pilgrim
08-06-2008, 08:25 PM
????

But he was on Full House. Thats not possible.

dude, what north americanized TV show employed george carlin for a decade or so...
shining time mother fucking station.

tessalasset
08-06-2008, 09:44 PM
Gabe and Jennie were there too.

denies the day
08-06-2008, 09:59 PM
Chichis Christ, they'll roast anyone nowadays.

The old school roasts with the Rat Pack, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett etc. were always pretty funny because they couldn't go as far as they go now but you could still tell they had something dirty on their minds.

2nd funniest line of the Flavor Flav roast was given by Patton Oswalt: "Chuck D couldn't be here tonight. The D stands for Dignity."

Funniest line of the Flavor Flav roast by the white chick who loves the black guys (someone help me with the name): "Is that Patton Oswalt's face or is Brittany Spears getting out of a car?"

frozen pilgrim
08-06-2008, 10:45 PM
I liked this gem from patton:

"jimmy kimmel, good to see you here, glad you're well, heard you had your appendix out...
it's strange, though- I didn't know you could get appendicitis from being overrated."

whynotsmile99
08-07-2008, 06:02 AM
Chichis Christ, they'll roast anyone nowadays.

The old school roasts with the Rat Pack, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett etc. were always pretty funny because they couldn't go as far as they go now but you could still tell they had something dirty on their minds.

2nd funniest line of the Flavor Flav roast was given by Patton Oswalt: "Chuck D couldn't be here tonight. The D stands for Dignity."

Funniest line of the Flavor Flav roast by the white chick who loves the black guys (someone help me with the name): "Is that Patton Oswalt's face or is Brittany Spears getting out of a car?"

lisa lampeneli. probably spelled wrong. she wasn't there last week. shes hilarious though

Roadkillhighway951
08-07-2008, 09:55 AM
i would've been more impressed if they had really roasted bob sagit, then served him with a side of steamed vegetables and smashed potatoes with all the moose piss beer wormer bros can dish out, who'd be able to tell anyway

sydaud
08-07-2008, 10:25 AM
I thought Saget was hysterical his guest appearance on "Entourage".

Anyway, the funniest roast I've ever seen is on Disc 3 of the Richard Prior Show boxset. All these comedians get up and do their thing and then at the end he just stands up and slays ALL of them. It was the equivalent of a verbal drive-by.

212margarita
08-07-2008, 10:33 AM
The Roast of Dennis Leary was pretty hilarious, the Pam Anderson Roast was just an amazing trainwreck...thanks Courtney Love! I'm pretty excited to see this.

Memorial_07
08-07-2008, 01:55 PM
I can't wait to see this.
Bob's standup is so vulgar and hilarious.

Has anyone here seen him in the Aristocrats?

212margarita
08-07-2008, 02:43 PM
Ive seen him do stand up a few times...maybe i am just desensitized to vulgarity...but i dont really find him that vulgar he just curses a lot.

marooko
08-07-2008, 03:02 PM
Chichis Christ"

haha. my girl and i say that when we spot a huge rack.

GnarVee
08-07-2008, 03:12 PM
sounds like an awesome time dude!

whynotsmile99
08-07-2008, 05:56 PM
The Roast of Dennis Leary was pretty hilarious, the Pam Anderson Roast was just an amazing trainwreck...thanks Courtney Love! I'm pretty excited to see this.

we had to watch that pam anderson one twice while standing in line. I guess WB doesn't have a copy of a different roast. It was a trainwreck with Andy Dick and Courtney but had some truly hilarious moments.

"Pam, you've been been with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels and Kid Rock. You're fucking your way to the middle!"

and

"You look like Pete Sampress with downsyndrome"

(said to Adam Corolla)

malcolmjamalawesome
08-07-2008, 07:34 PM
The greatest Comedy Central Roast line of all time is Jeffrey Ross to Courtney Love: "How is it possible that you look worse than Kurt Cobain does right now?"

Also, Saget Roast will have some notoriety for Artie Lange no-showing to go to rehab.

Backwater
08-17-2008, 09:11 PM
Is anyone else watching right now? It's not very funny yet but you can tell it will get better.

All That I Am
08-17-2008, 09:25 PM
I just tuned in I hope they rip Dave Colier a new asshole.

whynotsmile99
08-17-2008, 09:33 PM
I just tuned in I hope they rip Dave Colier a new asshole.

they really don't. few colier jokes, but not much.

This is heavily edited. The presenters went on a good 10 minutes a piece. Some longer some shorter, but generally I would say 7-10 minutes. I think a good half hour has been cut. It was a full two hour show when they taped it. Too bad, a lot of good stuff is missing.

haven't seen myself yet

zenidogx
08-17-2008, 09:38 PM
why was Posehn there? are they plugging the Sarah Silverman Program already?

paulb
08-17-2008, 09:39 PM
Im sure a dvd of the whole event will go on sale...

zenidogx
08-17-2008, 09:39 PM
btw, Posehn was pretty good.
Ross and Giraldo are best so far, but they always do these things

Backwater
08-17-2008, 09:40 PM
Was that Kristin Kreuk in the crowd?

whynotsmile99
08-17-2008, 09:47 PM
"Norm can't be here much longer tonight. He has to return his suit to his father's coffin"

zenidogx
08-17-2008, 09:49 PM
i love how she is ripping the C-listers

zenidogx
08-17-2008, 09:50 PM
i also like how norm is reading the paper. i'm a big fan of his.

whynotsmile99
08-17-2008, 09:55 PM
Dirty Work is such a funny movie.

Epic Bomb on the roast. Almost funny it's such a bomb

zenidogx
08-17-2008, 10:01 PM
Norm killed. his stuff worked so good. that's just his style.

faxman75
08-18-2008, 01:42 AM
How was Artie Langes set? Oh yeah, he was high on heroin and didn't show up. :)

Sushov23
08-18-2008, 02:39 AM
I missed this today on Comedy Central, anyone know if there is going to be a re-airing?

M Sparks
08-18-2008, 05:50 AM
loved Bob Ross

http://gentlemanbeggar.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/bob-ross.jpg

M Sparks
08-18-2008, 05:55 AM
Dirty Work is such a funny movie.


I never really cared for it, but that scene where he's just holding those fish is an all time classic. I will sometimes just turn it on when I see it on a movie channel, hoping to see the fish scene.

JustSteve
08-18-2008, 07:33 AM
i loved when ross said to stamos something along the lines of: "and stamos was married to my favorite supermodel, rebecca romaijn o'connell."

sbessiso
08-18-2008, 07:43 AM
the stamos jokes were outrageously good. i loved any rebecca romaijn joke. thats looow. Stamos sure looked cute though, I wouldve dobe the same thing cloris leachman did. everytime they did a Stamos joke and the camera cut to him, he always had the same model-like pose when he laughed. his head turned to the right, his teeth shining and a glimmer in his eye. haha i was watching stamos a little too much I admit, but he's uncle jessie!

i found it interesting that dave coulier was in the audience and not a roaster

and omg alan thicke was there!!!

i used to looove norm, but what the fuck is he on? the same thing lovitz is right? they were so pilled out.

i was a little surprised that no one took a stab at little stephanie tanners ex-crystal meth addiction

allyjoy
08-18-2008, 08:00 AM
I'm guessing that was cut out, S. I didn't find most of it funny. The two women were probably the funniest of the crew... well until Saget took stage. Did you see him cry?! what a pussy. :p

Backwater
08-18-2008, 11:29 AM
i was a little surprised that no one took a stab at little stephanie tanners ex-crystal meth addiction


So was I. Jim Norton was easily the best. He's the only one that had me laughing out loud. I loved the Olsen twins jokes.

bluemamba
08-18-2008, 11:50 AM
"You got it Dude!"

C DUB YA
08-18-2008, 01:30 PM
I loved the line from Cloris.

"Would someone punch me in the face so I can actually see some stars"

gratytrainridesagain
08-18-2008, 01:51 PM
This blew hard

woogie846
08-18-2008, 02:24 PM
Norm McDonald seems like such a good guy.

I just watched it this afternoon, but my DVR cut off Saget's bit at the end. Was it any good?

whynotsmile99
08-18-2008, 07:55 PM
So was I. Jim Norton was easily the best. He's the only one that had me laughing out loud. I loved the Olsen twins jokes.

there was no stehpanie tanners meth jokes if I remember correctly. Norton is hilarious. You'll love the unedited stuff if it ever comes out on dvd. A great deal was cut from Jim Norton alone, a solid hilarious 5-7 about nothing but Cloris Lechman's vagina

bmack86
08-18-2008, 08:12 PM
I thought that Norm was the funniest. He was so dry, and really made it seem like he had no clue what he was supposed to read. It was great. I loved the Rin Tin Tin joke because it went nowhere.

woogie846
08-18-2008, 08:15 PM
I thought that Norm was the funniest. He was so dry, and really made it seem like he had no clue what he was supposed to read. It was great. I loved the Rin Tin Tin joke because it went nowhere.

"But she's still full of bologna!" He was hilarious.

Lovitz bombed. That was really, really bad.

Backwater
08-18-2008, 08:30 PM
Lovitz bombed. That was really, really bad.

You thought that was bad, you should have seen him at the Laugh Factory. His 3-4 mintues at the roast were much more funny than any 3-4 minutes out of the whole hour he performed. There were no genuine laughs in the place. He does a show there every wednesday, and I do mean EVERY wednesday of the year. I think he just doesn't give a shit anymore and it's sad because he used to be funny on SNL.

Memorial_07
08-18-2008, 08:32 PM
I got myself too hyped up.
It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.

Greg Giraldo or Gilbert Gottfried were the best.

However, Giraldo's joke on Heath Ledger made me cringe

Memorial_07
08-18-2008, 08:33 PM
Oh, and every Olson twins joke that included Saget made me laugh regardless of who said it

whynotsmile99
08-18-2008, 09:01 PM
You thought that was bad, you should have seen him at the Laugh Factory. His 3-4 mintues at the roast were much more funny than any 3-4 minutes out of the whole hour he performed. There were no genuine laughs in the place. He does a show there every wednesday, and I do mean EVERY wednesday of the year. I think he just doesn't give a shit anymore and it's sad because he used to be funny on SNL.

Q-2INfjySHk

M Sparks
08-19-2008, 07:03 AM
I thought that Norm was the funniest. He was so dry, and really made it seem like he had no clue what he was supposed to read. It was great. I loved the Rin Tin Tin joke because it went nowhere.

I didn't see the show, but they just played some of the Norm stuff on O&A. I thought it was brilliant in that it was so clearly anti-brilliant on purpose. He was doing 1930s hack comedian material. Not even that...it's like something from some random guys retirement party.

M Sparks
08-19-2008, 07:06 AM
Q-2INfjySHk

A 2:15 video shouldn't take 1:30 to get funny.

marooko
08-19-2008, 07:53 AM
A 2:15 video shouldn't take 1:30 to get funny.

neither should even exist unless they're funny the ENTIRE way through. any vid over 30 seconds is usually just a waste of time.


EDIT: 38 seconds. golden from the 1st to the 38th.



<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OnwsrgCa8fY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OnwsrgCa8fY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

WOO HOO YES WOOT WOOT

woogie846
08-19-2008, 08:25 AM
I really wish Norm would be in more movies.

sbessiso
08-19-2008, 08:26 AM
I really wish Norm would be in more movies.

or SOMETHING....

marooko
08-19-2008, 08:36 AM
norm roasted everyone on stage. his bit had what seemed to be the most thought put in to it and was delivered so effortlessly. when he said Greg was "for the bids" i fucking lost it.

humanoid
08-19-2008, 09:42 AM
A 2:15 video shouldn't take 1:30 to get funny.

shouldn't she be doing her homework or something?

malcolmjamalawesome
08-23-2008, 07:54 PM
Watching Norm right now. He is amazing. Greg Giraldo gets it. He gets it, man.

mattpach
08-23-2008, 10:32 PM
haha i thought norm did ok

it was weird as fuck lol but it was funny because he seemed so serious about everything

bluemamba
08-24-2008, 01:22 AM
What with all the aliases coming out of nowhere??

anyways...... end this shitty thread already. Saget has been roasted and eaten. Done!!

M Sparks
08-24-2008, 09:37 AM
What with all the aliases coming out of nowhere??

anyways...... end this shitty thread already. Saget has been roasted and eaten. Done!!

It used to be, threads would just die off naturally when people lost interest and ran out of things to say. So many times, I thought to myself "I wish some random fuckwit could monitor everything and tell us when we're done!"

Ladies and Gentleman...I believe Bluemamba could be the random fuckwit we've been praying for. Dani, could we get him some administrator powers? I'm thinking he could not just close threads when they are done, but actually DELETE them, so there's no danger of anyone reading something that was already "done".

Also, in regards to "aliases"...I totally agree. New members should not be allowed to post unless they have AT LEAST 500 posts already and everyone knows them.


Why are your beginning post on a thread so long?? no one will read them.

See, we could have avoided this whole thread if we had just listened to his wisdom from the very beginning. Please everyone, avoid reading long posts...the temptation to respond is just too great, and then we'll have to be told when to stop.

In fact, if you must post anything, keep it under 5 words and make sure it's totally useless...


You got it dude.

Artistry.

malcolmjamalawesome
08-24-2008, 09:43 AM
What with all the aliases coming out of nowhere??

anyways...... end this shitty thread already. Saget has been roasted and eaten. Done!!

I'm about "Done!!" with your ugly face.

"His face is pretty like a flower ................... a cauliflower."

kroqken
11-17-2008, 11:31 PM
They reran that roast over the weekend. Comedy Central actually played it uncensored without bleeps. Cloris Leachman was hilarious for an 82 year old, it was her best performance this year (over anything she did on Dancing with the Stars.) It was nice hearing the word "fuck" on basic cable.