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M Sparks
07-11-2008, 12:00 PM
Who knew Cracked Magazine still existed? (http://www.cracked.com/article_15118_25-most-ridiculous-band-names-in-rock-history.html)

#25 Porno for Pyros
#24 Nickelback
#23 The Alan Parsons Project
#22 Stone Temple Pilots
#21 Matchbox 20
#20 Smashing Pumpkins
#19 Def Leppard
#18 W.A.S.P.
#17 Puddle of Mudd
#16 Of Montreal
#15 Goo Goo Dolls
#14 The The
#13 Mr. Mister
#12 The Mr. T Experience
#11 Panic! At the Disco
#10 Limp Bizkit
#9 Chumbawamba
#8 Enuff Z'nuff
#7 Mott the Hoople
#6 Hoobastank
#5 Toad the Wet Sprocket
#4 Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts
#3 Hootie & The Blowfish
#2 Archers Of Loaf
#1 !!!

I don't agree with Toad The Wet Sprocket...the article points out that it's from a Monty Python skit, and that "Owl Stretching Time" would be better. But the whole point is that the Monty Python skit was all about bands with shitty names.

Also, Of Montreal is a lame name, but not nearly as awful as the rest of the list.

frozen pilgrim
07-11-2008, 12:02 PM
in answer to your question mark, people who use digg excessively know that cracked still exists >.<
I have no idea if that's a good or a bad thing

PS I love love love your avatar.
somehow I don't think that our dear friend randy enjoys very much having my hair on his head.

sbessiso
07-11-2008, 12:08 PM
dave mathews band was the first thing that popped into my head when i read the thread title

Cdubby
07-11-2008, 12:13 PM
death cab for cutie is a pretentiously awful name and so is the bonzo dog doo-dah band

shakermaker113
07-11-2008, 12:15 PM
'the music'.

Cdubby
07-11-2008, 12:15 PM
now the greatest name in rock history would have to be anal cunt

zenidogx
07-11-2008, 12:15 PM
the Killers - not killer
Death Cab For Cuties - if you're going to take your name from the Beatles, don't suck

zenidogx
07-11-2008, 12:16 PM
now the greatest name in rock history would have to be anal cunt

second in my book, to the Butthole Surfers.

shakermaker113
07-11-2008, 12:16 PM
death cab for cutie is a pretentiously awful name and so is the bonzo dog doo-dah band

I've said so from day one, it's a fucking retarded name.

whoever made that list was naive to think that 25 could capture the absurdity of band names.

also, 'tv on the radio'. it's such an awful name I boycotted the group entirely for about a year.

bballarl
07-11-2008, 12:17 PM
The The and Smashing Pumpkins are both great band names.

goatparade
07-11-2008, 12:17 PM
add slightly stoopid and the string cheese incident to that

Bosco
07-11-2008, 12:17 PM
I nominate Natalie Portman's Shaved Head


its ridiculously awesome

shakermaker113
07-11-2008, 12:19 PM
Death Cab For Cuties - if you're going to take your name from the Beatles, don't suck

I had to look this up. from wikipedia:


The song is one of the better known songs in the Bonzo Dog Band canon because it was featured in the Beatles' television film Magical Mystery Tour. Performed on stage by Bonzos with Vivian in gold lamé at the Raymond Revuebar in London, it was the accompaniment for a striptease act performed by Jan Carson while she was ogled by club customers including John Lennon and George Harrison.

it's still a retarded name.

thinnerair
07-11-2008, 12:19 PM
Dude Womb

amyzzz
07-11-2008, 12:20 PM
panic at the disco is a Smiths lyric.

fatbastard
07-11-2008, 12:31 PM
"The The" was a great band

M Sparks
07-11-2008, 12:38 PM
panic at the disco is a Smiths lyric.

Or rather, there's a Smiths song that has 3 of those 4 words in it. Not in that order, though.

M Sparks
07-11-2008, 12:39 PM
The The and Smashing Pumpkins are both great band names.

The The would be a good name if it wasn't so damn annoying.

How is Smashing Pumpkins a good name? Even they hate it.

M Sparks
07-11-2008, 12:42 PM
now the greatest name in rock history would have to be anal cunt

They have a good bit on Opie And Anthony where Ant impersonates Casey Casem.

"She writes...Casey, my husband likes to have sex with my anus...and my cunt...could you play Anal Cunt for our anniversary?"

M Sparks
07-11-2008, 12:43 PM
in answer to your question mark, people who use digg excessively know that cracked still exists >.<
I have no idea if that's a good or a bad thing


I always loved Cracked way more than Mad. Even as an 8 year old, I was an indie snob.

higgybaby23
07-11-2008, 12:54 PM
I can't beleive Seven Mary Three didn't make the list. Back when "Cumbersome" was a hit(?), the mere mention of their name would have my roomate in hysterics.

Boourns
07-11-2008, 12:55 PM
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
HEALTH/BARR/YACHT (these are just obnoxiously annoying)
Cradle of Filth
7 Mary 3 (do bands with numbers in their name always suck?)
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Smokin Suckaz Wit Logic

BlackSwan
07-11-2008, 12:56 PM
the Killers - not killer
Death Cab For Cuties - if you're going to take your name from the Beatles, don't suck

Death Cab For Cutie - not "Cuties"

BlackSwan
07-11-2008, 12:57 PM
Of Montreal isn't a "ridiculous band name"... well, maybe it is to some people... but i like it.

zenidogx
07-11-2008, 12:59 PM
Death Cab For Cutie - not "Cuties"

typo

aeroplanee
07-11-2008, 01:02 PM
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
HEALTH/BARR/YACHT (these are just obnoxiously annoying)
Cradle of Filth
7 Mary 3 (do bands with numbers in their name always suck?)
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Smokin Suckaz Wit Logic

YACHT originally stood for Young Americans Challenging High Technology

bmack86
07-11-2008, 01:03 PM
That article is idiotic for saying that "the last time a good band came out of Athens, Michael Stipe still thought he was straight."

Boourns
07-11-2008, 01:06 PM
YACHT originally stood for Young Americans Challenging High Technology

Wow, that's even worse.

betao
07-11-2008, 01:10 PM
im surprised they didnt put holy fuck on the list.

MissingPerson
07-11-2008, 01:19 PM
Dunno if anybody's heard of them outside of Ireland, but man, Ham Sandwich. The worst band name in history right there. Absolutely ungoogleable too, which is a shame, because they're a fucking great band, and I highly recommend them. St. Christopher is a fantastic song. But Jesus, that bandname...

... Legend has it, Bono once implored them to change it, and they said no. A guy called Bono, who is literally actually named after a hearing aid shop in Dublin, is telling you your band name is shit, then you know it's serious.

Anyway, Ham Sandwich. It's the terrible band name that keeps on giving, too, it never gets any less terrible. Go on, try it - "Oh man, I've got tickets to Ham Sandwich!" or "Jesus, that song is awesome. Who is it?" "It's Ham Sandwich!" "Whoa, cool!"

Ham Sandwich. Fuck's sake...

BlackSwan
07-11-2008, 01:19 PM
typo

i know, but an ironic typo deserves to be pointed out.

BlackSwan
07-11-2008, 01:21 PM
Dunno if anybody's heard of them outside of Ireland, but man, Ham Sandwich. The worst band name in history right there. Absolutely ungoogleable too, which is a shame, because they're a fucking great band, and I highly recommend them. St. Christopher is a fantastic song. But Jesus, that bandname...

... Legend has it, Bono once implored them to change it, and they said no. A guy called Bono, who is literally actually named after a hearing aid shop in Dublin, is telling you your band name is shit, then you know it's serious.

Anyway, Ham Sandwich. It's the terrible band name that keeps on giving, too, it never gets any less terrible. Go on, try it - "Oh man, I've got tickets to Ham Sandwich!" or "Jesus, that song is awesome. Who is it?" "It's Ham Sandwich!" "Whoa, cool!"

Ham Sandwich. Fuck's sake...

not only that, but they greatly reduce their likability to vegetarians and vegans... maybe jewish people too.

MissingPerson
07-11-2008, 01:25 PM
Muslim folk, too. And people who don't like bread. Or shite band names.

Billy Corgan quite likes them apparently. Maybe awful-named band types stick together.

SFChrissy
07-11-2008, 01:30 PM
Wham, oingo boingo, styx, elo, reo speedwagon, enter shakira (I know, I know, Iknow but I couldn't resist)...

amyzzz
07-11-2008, 01:31 PM
does it offend you, yeah?

I refuse to listen to their music because the name is so awful.

SFChrissy
07-11-2008, 01:34 PM
wabchumba...or how ever you spell their name...

And The The is not lame...

zenidogx
07-11-2008, 01:36 PM
buckcherry

paganman7
07-11-2008, 01:42 PM
I nominate:

Spandau Ballet
Tapes 'n Tapes
Limp Bizkit

MissingPerson
07-11-2008, 01:47 PM
does it offend you, yeah?

I refuse to listen to their music because the name is so awful.

To be fair, the fact that their name has that effect has saved you from hearing them. This is one instance where the awfulness of the band name in entirely reflective of the band's quality.

woogie846
07-11-2008, 02:59 PM
Limp Bizkit ftw

Hopeless Semantic
07-11-2008, 03:10 PM
The Postal Service...

bakersfield
07-11-2008, 03:13 PM
The Presidents of the United States of America

shakermaker113
07-11-2008, 03:22 PM
does it offend you, yeah?

I refuse to listen to their music because the name is so awful.

agreed. I was about to post that.

Backwater
07-11-2008, 03:53 PM
does it offend you, yeah?

I refuse to listen to their music because the name is so awful.

I agree but unlike MissingPerson I like their music. Smashing Pumpkins and Stone Temple Pilots are both great band names.

canexplain
07-11-2008, 04:14 PM
"The The" was a great band

they were pretty good i thought too ... i dont like bands with the same word used more then once ie: mister mister, talk talk, man man, duran duran et al and any band with some sort of puncuation mark in their name .... prince, !!! et al again ...x****

canexplain
07-11-2008, 04:16 PM
wabchumba...or how ever you spell their name...

And The The is not lame...

Chumbawamba, they were actually a really fun band ...i posted a tic stub from a show i saw ...x****

Tubthumping ... never figured out how to post a vid

PassiveTheory
07-11-2008, 04:23 PM
panic at the disco is a Smiths lyric.

Yeah except they took their name from an Electric Six song.

Backwater
07-11-2008, 10:41 PM
The worst band name ever is Accept.

Decline would be a much better name, because that's what their career was immediately as soon as they chose that name.

woogie846
07-11-2008, 10:44 PM
The band 'Why?'

Boourns
07-11-2008, 10:54 PM
Some band names are both shitty and perfectly reflect the music of the band:
Default
Evanescence

rskapcat
07-12-2008, 05:06 AM
Dunno if anybody's heard of them outside of Ireland, but man, Ham Sandwich. The worst band name in history right there. Absolutely ungoogleable too, which is a shame, because they're a fucking great band, and I highly recommend them. St. Christopher is a fantastic song. But Jesus, that bandname...

... Legend has it, Bono once implored them to change it, and they said no. A guy called Bono, who is literally actually named after a hearing aid shop in Dublin, is telling you your band name is shit, then you know it's serious.

Anyway, Ham Sandwich. It's the terrible band name that keeps on giving, too, it never gets any less terrible. Go on, try it - "Oh man, I've got tickets to Ham Sandwich!" or "Jesus, that song is awesome. Who is it?" "It's Ham Sandwich!" "Whoa, cool!"

Ham Sandwich. Fuck's sake...

This post cracked me up, and I haven't even had my caffeine yet! :D

I would like to add Cat Butt to the list. Either terribly great, or greatly terrible...haven't decided.

Stainofmind
07-12-2008, 05:34 AM
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah should be on that list.

Sounds like something a 3 year old would come up with.

MarkO
07-12-2008, 06:39 AM
Dunno if anybody's heard of them outside of Ireland, but man, Ham Sandwich. The worst band name in history right there. ......... ..

Sorry dude, 'Scary Eire' was a far worse band and name.

Memorial_07
07-12-2008, 08:42 AM
i gotta say there are plenty worse names:
Chrome Division
Dayglo Abortions
Jesus And Mary Chain
The Proclaimers
Revolting Cocks

IdiotequeThom
07-12-2008, 09:16 AM
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus ftw

Pixiessp
07-12-2008, 09:53 AM
Lard
1000 Homo DJ's

MarkO
07-12-2008, 11:36 AM
Sheep on Drugs

aeroplanee
07-12-2008, 11:42 AM
99% of the bands on this years Warped Tour

magmazing
07-12-2008, 12:24 PM
Rainbow Butt Monkeys (They're now known as Finger Eleven)

schoolofruckus
07-12-2008, 01:01 PM
HEALTH/BARR/YACHT (these are just obnoxiously annoying)


That's because the insistence on caps immediately brings C DUB YA to mind.



Godspeed You! Black Emperor


Heresy.

Backwater
07-12-2008, 03:02 PM
i gotta say there are plenty worse names:
Chrome Division
Dayglo Abortions
Jesus And Mary Chain
The Proclaimers
Revolting Cocks

WTF? The Jesus and Mary Chain is one of the best band names ever! Revolting Cocks is great too. Just out of curiosity what are some of your favorite band names?

Alchemy
07-12-2008, 03:07 PM
The writer of that article is sorta ridiculous.

"Have you heard of Of Montreal?"

Can't you just say, "Have you heard Of Montreal?"

Some of his reasonings reach really far.

Backwater
07-12-2008, 03:08 PM
Can't you just say, "Have you heard Of Montreal?"


Then people would think he's talking about the city.

Alchemy
07-12-2008, 03:17 PM
Then people would think he's talking about the city.

Then people need to learn how to use context clues.

Memorial_07
07-12-2008, 06:08 PM
WTF? The Jesus and Mary Chain is one of the best band names ever! Revolting Cocks is great too. Just out of curiosity what are some of your favorite band names?

Ministry, The Revolution, Toxic Narcotic, Kraftwerk, Discharge, Disorder, Antidot etc. I found those interesting.

How about you?

suprefan
07-12-2008, 06:14 PM
Does it Offend You, Yeah?

PassiveTheory
07-12-2008, 06:16 PM
Toxic Narcotic and Antidot suck as names.

I think TV on the Radio is a stupid name but it works when the band is so completely fucking overrated.

I've never liked the Stills' name... I mean, it's just... I dunno. Reminds me too much of the Shins or the Smiths but it doesn't seem to do anything for me.

I'm seriously waiting for a band to come out called "The Fuck". It'd be amazing:

"Ever hear of The Fuck?"
"...whaaaaa?"

Does it Offend You, Yeah? has a shitty band name, too.

Backwater
07-12-2008, 06:17 PM
I don't know what my favorite band names are, I just know that TJAMC is definitely not one of the worst. I guess a lot of it has to do with context. I was raised strictly Catholic so maybe that has something to do with why that name appeals to me, I don't know.

suprefan
07-12-2008, 06:25 PM
Does it Offend You, Yeah? has a shitty band name, too.

But they are oh so good live.....




Holy Fu*k is good enough to hold you over Lee.

PassiveTheory
07-12-2008, 06:29 PM
I think there's another band with Fuck in it's name that isn't Fuck Buttons that was profiled on Pitchfork... what the hell was it's name...

orbit
07-12-2008, 06:32 PM
there's a band called fucked up

Backwater
07-12-2008, 06:40 PM
I'm sure there's lots of shitty death metal bands with "fuck" in their names.

aeroplanee
07-12-2008, 06:42 PM
Holy Fuck

SoulDischarge
07-12-2008, 07:09 PM
Is anything honestly worst than Hoobastank? Not only in the way it rolls off the tongue smooth as fresh vomit, but also because you know that more than two people agreed that this would be an acceptable moniker to represent themselves to the world and that other people financially backed them and a significant number of people voluntarily bought enough product off of them so that almost anyone on this board has heard of them.

Backwater
07-12-2008, 07:20 PM
Yeah, you're right Hoobastank is the worst of the worst. I think Dream Theater is my favorite band name. I also really like the names Shudder to Think and Explosions in the Sky. I think Portishead is an exceptionally bad name considering how great the band is. Why do so many great bands have "head" at the end of their name? Radiohead, Portishead, Machinehead

orbit
07-12-2008, 07:24 PM
portishead is a town near bristol.

suprefan
07-12-2008, 07:39 PM
Yeah, you're right Hoobastank is the worst of the worst. I think Dream Theater is my favorite band name. I also really like the names Shudder to Think and Explosions in the Sky. I think Portishead is an exceptionally bad name considering how great the band is. Why do so many great bands have "head" at the end of their name? Radiohead, Portishead, Machinehead

Talking Heads

bmack86
07-12-2008, 08:02 PM
Talking Heads is one of my favorite band names. It seems to exude the paranoia that manifests itself in their music.

Boourns
07-12-2008, 11:11 PM
AIDS WOLF
Test Icicles
Hope Of The States

aeroplanee
07-12-2008, 11:13 PM
Bands with "Bear" are slowly taking over the world

algunz
07-12-2008, 11:14 PM
Mary's Danish



I'll always love them, despite how lame their name was.

coofal
07-12-2008, 11:14 PM
http://progressiveboink.com/archive/worstbandnames.html



Your Band Name Sucks
50 of the Inexcusably Worst.

50. Anaal Nathrakh

Black metal—and all extreme metal, really—is a special case in that having a ridiculous name has become part of the culture, so filling up this list with a bunch of names pulled from fantasy lore would be unfair to the global pop music scene. So I've chosen Anaal Nathrakh as a representative for the wonderfully hilarious world of black metal. "Anaal Nathrakh" is a spell uttered by the wizard Merlin in the 1981 movie Excalibur that apparently means "serpent's breath." While the supposedly medieval root of the name fits the music genre's stereotype, Excalibur was kind of a stupid movie, & not geeky enough compared to the usual source of black metal inspiration: books & actual folklore. That's like naming your band Klaatu Barada Nikto after Army Of Darkness instead of after The Day The Earth Stood Still. Which I'm sure some loser in a trench coat is about five minutes away from doing right now. But mostly I gave Anaal Nathrakh this honor, because I think it's funny that the one guy looks like Chase from The Party.



49. Ride

This falls into the dreaded one-word name category, where it looks like they just flipped through the dictionary & found a cute, random word. Ride beats out other contenders, such as Train or Bread, by having both a boring back story (the band was named after a typographical picture the singer made one time in school) & having replaced an even worse one-word name: Donkey.



48. New Found Glory

Relatively harmless as is, albeit a little too chipper for a band whose songs are mostly about breaking up with girls. Though it beats all those unsigned punk bands whose name is a variation of WE ACTUALLY ARE NOT VERY GOOD. Mostly, New Found Glory gets on here on a technicality. They were originally called "A New Found Glory," & officially dropped the "A," because their dumber fans were apparently having a hard time finding their CDs in stores. Or maybe it's the store clerks' fault. So the technicality that makes New Found Glory bad is that some fans & anti-fans still insist on throwing in that indefinite article in attempt to boost their punk rock credibility. I don't think you have to worry too much about having punk rock credibility if you're talking about New Found Glory.



47. The Juliana Theory

Like a lot of bands on this list, the Juliana Theory may not have invented the trend of which I find them guilty, but I'm holding them personally responsible for popularizing it. In this case: the formula of definite article + word + unrelated word that countless bands with similar indie/emo/whatever leanings have adopted. People give garage rock bands with names like The Vines & the Hives a hard time for their formula, but those are a lot more forgivable, if only because of their tried & true state in the 1960s, than this faux-artsy crap.



46. Les Savy Fav

Pronounced, "Lay Sah-vee Fahv," which I'm pretty sure doesn't mean anything, but that's besides the point. These former art school students deserve congratulations for creating a name that I can't say or even type without feeling like an asshole.



45. Arctic Monkeys

I regret to admit that the word "monkey," & the concept of monkeys in general, have been so milked of their fun & awesomeness, that by the time this band came around, it had already run dry. So how do they remedy the situation? By putting the monkeys in a hilariously different climate! Also, it's generally a good idea to not call your band something that sounds like it should be getting shot at by Mega Man X.



44. Green Day

Despite popular rumors, the name is not a Soylent Green reference, & it's not something the band overheard on "Sesame Street," but the real story, albeit less stupid, doesn't really make up for it, either. The idea behind the name of the band, which was originally the name of a song, is simple: a "green day" was how they described a day made up entirely of pot=lol. Which I guess is fine when you're 18 years old, & it's years before stoner humor got popular & annoying, largely thanks to Half Baked, but if you're going to make your band name something that you think is funny, step back for a minute & consider whether you'll still think so in ten or fifteen years, when you grow up a bit. Otherwise you'll end up like these guys, spending the first two minutes or so of your "Behind The Music" special talking about how you have one of the worst names in rock. Look: I love Green Day, but I can't omit a band who agrees with me.



43. Phish

There is no chin behind Trey Anastasio's beard. There is only another fist.

The Beatles often get an unnecessarily bad rap for their cute little play on words, to the point where they revolved an entire (awesome) movie around making fun of it (That Thing You Do!). At least both they & the movie's "One-ders" (pronounced, and later changed to, "Wonders") followed an acceptable & popular "plural noun" band name formula of the time. Phish isn't even a clever play on words; they just misspelled drummer Jon Fishman's last name & laughed about it for ten minutes, because they were probably having a green day.



42. Atreyu

You know what? I remember the 1980s, too. I like remembering the 1980s. Nintendo games & the Goonies were great. Now stop screwing up my memories by naming your subpar band after minor references that just enough people will see what you did there. Atreyu, a reference to one of the main characters in The Neverending Story, is the example I'm including as a representative for all other similar examples (e.g. Fall Out Boy, Mogwai, the Ataris), because I also happen to like their music the least out of that group. Well, I don't like Belle & Sebastian, either, but they don't really suck as much as they're just boring.



41. Mr. Mister

What at first looks very mildly clever in the same vain as The The is ruined by the fact that the band actually got its name from a Dairy Queen drink called Mr. Misty. Which, in turn, makes me think of Dustin Hoffman dressing up like the girl from Pokémon, & that's just wrong.



40. Def Leppard

Misspellings are as much a part of heavy metal as guys with perms are, but at least the mental images that names like Led Zeppelin & Mötley Crüe conjure up are rock 'n' roll enough to work. Thinking about how a leopard that can't hear (or, perhaps, is a fan of hip hop) can be considered "rockin'" distracts me from all the sugar being poured & the photographs being wanted.



39. Anal Cunt

Before you flood my inbox about how the whole point is to be as bad & contraversial as possible, I get it. I really do get it, but I'm keeping them on here out of principle, for two reasons. Firstly, the less wannabe followers who try to add the same inflection to their image, the better. Secondly, I think it'd have to be above a band who's all right with calling themselves Anal Cunt to wuss out for censors & go by "A.C." on their album covers for the sake of sales or air play. Sure, they draw the initials to look like their corresponding private parts, but I'm of the mindset that they should be okay with going the full mile with your intentionally crass name & image.



38. Keane

I just think it's funny that a band whose singer sounds like Retarded Freddy Mercury calls itself something that corresponds to how Retarded Freddy Mercury would pronounce the name of his band.



37. MxPx

The now official name of the band is an abbreviation of "Magnified Plaid," which at least had some thought behind it. Plaid through a magnifying glass looks like a series of cross shapes, alluding to the band's Christian outspokenness. Or at least they started out with Christian outspokenness. Whether the name shortening served the same purpose as their decision to stop name dropping Jesus so much to sell records is unknown, but this, for me at least, is a classic example of an abbreviation gone wrong.



36. WHAM!

Sounds like it was made up by some kid with a degree in marketing. Or women's jaws everywhere hitting the floor when they found out the truth about George.



35. Los Lonely Boys



"English or Spanish."

You know what? That was the worst reference ever. I apologize.



34. I'm From Barcelona

This is becoming the new "name your album a predicate," which reminds me: Cut that crap out, too. They Might Be Giants get an exception to the full sentence rule, because I'm a son of a bitch who plays favorites. And also because that was the name of a movie first, anyway, so I guess I'm just prejudiced against bands from Sweden with like thirty members who lie about their number & origins.



33. Of Montreal

What's worse than naming your band a full sentence? Naming your band a prepositional phrase.



32. Mest

Short for "Milwaukee's Best," a brand of awful beer that the band actually seemed to enjoy. However, I'll continue to refer to them as NOT GOLDFINGER PART FIVE.



31. HIM
HIM is another band name that gets on here on an observational technicality. It's the shortened abbreviation of the band's formerly full name, "His Infernal Majesty." Which, for the record, is one of Satan's many names. The band dropped the full name, because they didn't want people to think they were actually satanists. But, you know, having their logo be a half-heart/half-pentagram wouldn't make parents think that at all. Nevermind the unintentional connection with a certain devilish Powerpuff Girls villain.



30. Seven Mary Three

Bands with numbers in their names are usually frowned upon. Not only does Seven Mary Three have two in a name that seemingly doesn't make sense, but when I did bother to look it up, it turned out to be the little-used CB radio handle of the blond guy from CHiPs. This is worse than the aforementioned well-known pop culture reference, especially if you don't want to have to field the question, "Where did the name come from?" in every interview you ever get. NOFX are still kicking themselves after getting asked that by everyone ever.



29. Live

It's not "evil" backwards, & it has nothing to do with playing shows in front of an audience. The story behind Live is that it was a literally last-minute replacement for the name "Public Affection," which they decided they didn't like. So Live is the term paper that you awkwardly staple & hand in at Whatever:59. So now searching for their songs on Limewire I MEAN BUYING THEIR ALBUMS LEGALLY is a real pain.



28. matchbox twenty

Like Green Day, "Matchbox 20," was originally the title of a song from the band's infancy, when they were known by another name. What makes "matchbox twenty" bad is not only their decision to start spelling out the word "twenty," something even the Associated Press doesn't bother to do, but their insistence that their name and the title of every album they've put out thus far be officially spelled in all lowercase letters. Hey, Rob Thomas. Just because it's easier for you to type like that in your blog doesn't give it artistic merit.



27. blink-182

blink (who also annoyingly maintains a lowercase initial) added the supposedly meaningless number on the end of their name to avoid confusion with some Irish pop group called Blink, with whom they later ended up sharing a bill. But the name reached the peak of annoyance when the band decided to create several rumors concerning the number, including but not limited to the amount of times Al Pacino says "fuck" in Scarface, to a loan from the movie Turk 182 that nobody saw. But blink's highest offense is for involuntarily taking the surge of pop-punk bands brought on by Green Day to a new(merical!) level, causing an ironically countless amount of bands that followed to tack on random numbers to the end of their names as well.



26. Fenix*TX

The end result isn't entirely their fault, but Fenix*TX wins the award for most bad naming stereotypes. Their original name was Riverfenix, which was an '80s reference, misspelling, & makeshift compound word all in one terrible package. Then the estate of late actor River Phoenix actually sent the band a cease & desist order, which many were hoping was for the music moreso than the name. So they dropped River's first name, & added the postal code of their home state, creating a name that followed two whole new band stereotype: rhyming, & unnecessary punctuation.



25. The For Carnation

Technically, I already selected The Juliana Theory to represent all band names of this type, but I had to make an exception for the For Carnation & bump it up 22 places, because come on look at that shit.



24. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Everybody's been talking about these guys & how awesome they are. I don't even know what they sound like, because their name lies on the other end of the Les Savy Fav asshole spectrum, & is tricking me into not listening to their music.



23. 24-7 Spyz

Speaking of being tricked into not listening to a band's music, these guys apparently sound like Living Colour & Fishbone, but I wouldn't know it, because they sound more like either the name of a cartoon on the Fox Box, or those streetwise Barbie dolls with the giant heads & lips if they came with a bunch of play James Bond gear.



22. From Autumn To Ashes

If your band's name sounds like you had a band-naming contest, & Emily Dickinson won, you might be post-hardcore.



21. !!!

Gotta admire a band who hates its fans enough to force them to refer to the band by making the African Bushmen "click" sound three times. That isn't even a joke. That's how you pronounce the name, although lots of folks cheat by substituting "chk" sound, or even just saying "bang." I don't want relationship; I just want CHANGE YOUR NAME.



20. Kajagoogoo

With '80s pop & new wave came a surge of stupid names, including Wang Chung, a Flock of Seagulls, & the aforementioned WHAM, but nothing's quite as mind-numbing as taking the sound a baby makes & changing up some consonants. Which either Wikipedia swears is a true story, or that wacky Stephen Colbert is at it again.



19. Chumbawamba

As a joke to throw off everyone who asked them, which is funny because the band is anarchist, Chumbawamba offered several different false explanations of the in-reality meaningless name. These included typical, boring stuff like naming themselves after a soccer mascot, or overhearing the chanting of African street musicians. But the most ridiculous rumor of all was one where, in one of the band members' dreams, he encountered public restrooms labeled "Chumba" & "Wamba" instead of "Men" & "Women." Which makes me feel a lot better about that one time I dreamt that a friend of mine took me off her Top 8. The band I started when I woke up, The I Can't Believe You Took Me Off Your Top 8s, is way better than stupid Chumbawamba.



18. Enuff Z'nuff

It sure is!





17. Staind

Staind probably isn't quite as bad as Enuff Z'nuff, or even 24-7 Spyz, but I put it down here to group it with the man responsible for discovering them in the first place, Fred Durst of...



16. Limp Bizkit

Nothing invokes a hard-edge, nu-metal image like misspelling the word "biscuit" & describing it as limp. Popular rumors include Biscuit being the name of Durst's dog who once had a bad leg, & "limp biscuit" being the description of a friend's brain while he was high. The band, themselves, insist that they just chose something that sounded as stupid as possible at the time. I guess some things really are timeless. Still, while Limp Bizkit may be responsible for many nu-metal bands out there with badly spelled names, even that's not as bad as the band who pretty much started nu-metal to begin with...



15. Korn
Completing the nu-metal trifecta of bands who discovered each other, Korn was a name chosen under the impression that it would be hard to forget. After the band's manager said they'd never get a record deal with a name like that, frontman Jonathan offered to name the band after the manager, himself. He then got the band signed as Korn in a matter of months. Yeah, it is hard to forget, & that's part of the problem.



14. Sunn 0)))
As of naming a band after the brand of amps they use wasn't lame enough, they had to go & write out the visual representation of sound waves included in the brand's logo:

The band's name is still simply pronounced "Sunn." Sun with a silent zero. At this rate, we're only a few years away from a band calling themselves the characters used to make up an ASCII gif of a stick figure kicking another stick figure in the stick nuts.



13. *NSYNC

*NSYNC passes the similarly multiple-offense perpetrator Fenix*TX by making Lance Bass conform. The name was originally a play on the last letters of the boy band's members: Justin, Chris, Joey, Jason, & J.C. When Jason was replaced with Lance, they DECIDED TO KEEP THE NAME SCHEME anyway by giving Lance the fake full name of "Lanston." Then they made him pretend to like girls. Man, this guy's going to need a lot of therapy once he hits 40.



12. This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

That's it. I'm going to start a band called Mike Fireball & The Hey Let's Go Bomb An Abortion Clinic In The Name Of Jesus Christs.

I'm not sure if the band's fans think it's funny or annoying when they put the band's sticker on their actual bikes & then get asked about it by every authority figure ever, but if it's the latter, you should know better, you poseur.



11. Bullet For My Valentine

This should win an award. They should call it the Why Don't You Cry About It, Crybaby? award & have it shaped like a girl laughing at you.



10. Oh No! Oh My!

Oh please. Is that going to mess up my vocal inflection sentence structure when I ask if someone listens to them? Is saying it aloud like "Do you listen to Oh No Oh My?" going to be incorrect? Because I really don't want a whole bunch of hipsters shouting for no reason.



9. Hootie & The Blowfish

Didn't Darius Rucker start getting frustrated when people started calling him "Hootie"? It's your own fault, friend. The name was apparently a tribute of sorts to two friends of the band's, one with large, owl-like glasses, & the with Dizzy Gillespie-like cheeks. The name went on to be parodied in every oral sex joke made by every high school student in the '90s ever.



8. Linkin Park

This otherwise non-severe misspelling reached new levels of pathetic when I discovered that the spelling change was made because, I swear to Jesus, the domain name lincolnpark.com was taken.



7. Archers Of Loaf

And now, a lesson on how not to use reverse psychology: The band didn't want to have a name they'd have to discuss in every interview they gave, so they came up with the most nonsensical name that came to them. I'm sure that worked out just fine for them.



6. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead

Listening to radio jocks announce this band is funny, because it sounds like they start to lose interest halfway through. Then I try to say it, myself, & understand why most folks just cheat & shorten it to "Trail Of The Dead." It isn't so much because their name is long. For example, I think the name "The Presidents Of The United States Of America" is fine, but this one is long AND boring. It sounds like the title of a poem written by the smart girl at the back of your high school English class. You know the one. Slowly but surely, they're starting a trend, & to you fledgeling bands I say save it for your album title, where it belongs.



5. Wow, Owls!



4. Hoobastank

Leave it to a band as generic sounding as this one to come up with a name that sounds like a dirty word, & not in the haha he cursed sort of way. In the way that can only be said with either an inflection of excitement from a bouncy ditz, or with several shades of disgust by anyone with taste.



3. (hed) pe

The "e" in "hed" is actually upside down, resembling (but not sounding like) a schwa, but that character apparently doesn't in exist in Verdana anyway, & damned if I'm going to change my font to make him feel better. The "pe" was added later to save confusion from another band, called Head, & stood for PLANETARY EVOLUTION. Which I guess made sense, because they spelled like monkeys. Then, just to mess with people, they changed the abbreviation to stand for PLANET EARTH for two albums. Then they capitalized "HED," took it out of the parentheses, & added periods to "p.e." Then they changed it back. The running theory right now is that when the lead singer was very young, a typographer killed his parents in front of his own eyes, & he's still not fully recovered from the incident.



2. :wumpscut:

This is the name of German DJ Rudy Ratzinger, & it's still a made-up nonsense word in his language. Then again, actually checking out this guy's catalog makes me think that he's not the type of guy who'd want it to get out that he might be related to the pope. So he invented a word that he thought sounded industrial, & I think sounds like the name of a My Little Pony villain.



1. Test Icicles

MySpace really wanted me to listen to these guys, because they kept showing up when I'd go to log in. Too bad I never read the description of the band, because whatever was written after the band's name read to me like, "Please do not listen to our music; we named ourselves after your balls."

What's even better, besides the fact that dear God look at these guys, is the story they had to feed to their label, telling them that they derived the name from "an alleged practice of early man of 'testing' icicles for strength and fitness for use as weapons." That's going to be my new "The dog ate my homework," or "My computer is down." Too bad their story doesn't explain that band members used to have a side project called "Balls."

I've just ended the last two paragraphs with the word "balls," & now I was about to write how I've grown past potty humor equalling lol, but it's true. Luckily, the band have recently managed to break up, because they "were never, ever that keen on the music." They were never keen on the music THEY WERE CREATING. I've heard of friends of mine not like the things they write, but they're at least passionate about it, & they don't regret anything they put out there. But the band formerly known as Test Icicles apparently couldn't get into anything beyond naming themselves after your balls, & that's why it's a worse name than all the nonsense words, pop culture references, misspellings & prepositional phrases you can throw at the world. When people are only paying attention to a band's stupid moniker as opposed to caring about their music, including the BAND ITSELF, that's a guaranteed recipe for worst name of all time.

Hannahrain
07-12-2008, 11:26 PM
wabchumba

I just wanted to quote this.

Also


styxI would argue that, for the music that they made (make, I guess) coupled with the actual meaning of the name Styx and the image they upheld, this is a pretty suitable band name. When you hear the name "Styx" for the first time, you know what you are getting into.

Backwater
07-12-2008, 11:27 PM
I agree with most of that list but Green Day is a good band name

aeroplanee
07-12-2008, 11:28 PM
Theres a difference between an awful name and a fun and different name

woogie846
07-12-2008, 11:31 PM
Staind is really terrible name.

RotationSlimWang
07-12-2008, 11:43 PM
I would argue that, for the music that they made (make, I guess) coupled with the actual meaning of the name Styx and the image they upheld, this is a pretty suitable band name. When you hear the name "Styx" for the first time, you know what you are getting into.

... do explain. What am I being prepared for by the name? And what image do they uphold? Am I thinking of a different Styx?

Boourns
07-12-2008, 11:46 PM
Staind is really terrible name.

And a really terrible band.

Hannahrain
07-12-2008, 11:48 PM
I just think that the river between here and Hell is an appropriate name for a band that takes every photo like serious cat and sings power love songs that get weird old guys to hold up their lighters.

RotationSlimWang
07-12-2008, 11:48 PM
Ahahahaha, you had to invoke serious cat in the explanation.

Hannahrain
07-12-2008, 11:49 PM
I could have said many other things, but none would have been as accurate so I decided to just cut the crap.

Boourns
07-12-2008, 11:52 PM
Someone just told me there is a band called Dirtpipe Milkshake. I slip you knot.

Hannahrain
07-12-2008, 11:53 PM
This whole sentence is the name of my new band.

shoegazer76
07-13-2008, 12:04 AM
Kajago, & RIght Said fred must be the honorable mentions.

Boourns
07-13-2008, 12:13 AM
smash mouth

sonofhal
07-13-2008, 01:14 AM
Maroon 5 - actually any band involving numbers. (with the exception of The Four Skins).

sonofhal
07-13-2008, 01:16 AM
Mental as anything

BobCaygeon
07-13-2008, 05:21 AM
Maroon 5 - actually any band involving numbers. (with the exception of The Four Skins).

There's a scene in a Superchunk DVD I have where they walk into a dressing room of some place they're playing, and all the bands have signed their band names on the wall, and somebody in Superchunk says "Who are the Maroons?"

woogie846
07-13-2008, 09:33 AM
Cat Power is a strange name.

Boourns
07-13-2008, 11:59 AM
LONG LIVE THE CAT RACE! CAT POWER! CAT POWER!

Yeah, maybe.

Boourns
07-13-2008, 12:02 PM
Not so much ridiculous, but ridiculously clichéd.

The Black Key Angel Kid Lips

Enough with "The Black ____" as a band name already.

humanoid
07-13-2008, 12:24 PM
/\ true, quite the glut of Black Whatevers....seriously take a break

suprefan
07-13-2008, 12:47 PM
Or Wolf, or Bear, any animal right?


Planning to Rock, now THATS ridiculous. If you are ''planning'' on it and it doesnt come through, you got problems.

Boourns
07-13-2008, 12:51 PM
/\ true, quite the glut of Black Whatevers....seriously take a break

It's an easy way for a band to get attention. Way easier than making great music, of course. Once blogtards start hyping a band, just give your band a very similar name and said blogtards will give it some attention just because of the name.

Vic Viper
07-13-2008, 02:37 PM
The Future Sound of London
Black Moth Super Rainbow
Pop Will Eat Itself
Holy Fuck
Boom Boom Satellites
Sigue Sigue Sputnik

Somewhat Damaged
07-13-2008, 02:38 PM
Hey, at least the Black Angels took their name from a Velvet Underground song. And are actually good.

bmack86
07-13-2008, 02:44 PM
of the 4 "Black" bands listed, 3 are really good
Black Lips have been around for QUITE a while
Black Keys have been going for nearly 10 years
Black Angels, as noted above, took their name from VU

And, Black Kids, well, they made for a great listing on the early coachella poster, which stated Holy Fuck Black Kids

luckyface
07-13-2008, 04:37 PM
Neutral Milk Hotel. Such a stupid ass name for a band.

miscorrections
07-13-2008, 04:39 PM
I always forget how dumb the name is because they're too good to care.

Boourns
07-13-2008, 04:46 PM
Yeah, same with The Flaming Lips.

woogie846
07-13-2008, 04:48 PM
Olivia Tremor Control

miscorrections
07-13-2008, 04:51 PM
Another one where the quality outshines the naming choice.

captncrzy
07-13-2008, 05:05 PM
Limp Bizkit ftw


Is anything honestly worst than Hoobastank?

Definately a toss-up between the two.



Rainbow Butt Monkeys (They're now known as Finger Eleven)

somehow Rainbow Butt Monkeys seems more appropriate

denies the day
07-13-2008, 05:20 PM
So so many bad ones:

Insane Clown Posse
She Wants Revenge
Low
Groove Armada
Bassnectar (I feel stupid just typing that)
Squirrel Nut Zippers
Eminem
Jesus Jones
Snow Patrol
Mixel Pixel
Supreme Beings of Leisure



And now for some awesome:

The Free Design
Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her
Apostle of Hustle
my!gay!husband!
Klanguage
Pretty Titty
The Soft Pink Truth
I Hate You When You're Pregnant (shout out to the AZ)



Planning to Rock, now THATS ridiculous. If you are ''planning'' on it and it doesnt come through, you got problems.

Yikes.

TomAz
07-13-2008, 05:27 PM
Who knew Cracked Magazine still existed? (http://www.cracked.com/article_15118_25-most-ridiculous-band-names-in-rock-history.html)

#25 Porno for Pyros
#24 Nickelback
#23 The Alan Parsons Project
#22 Stone Temple Pilots
#21 Matchbox 20
#20 Smashing Pumpkins
#19 Def Leppard
#18 W.A.S.P.
#17 Puddle of Mudd
#16 Of Montreal
#15 Goo Goo Dolls
#14 The The
#13 Mr. Mister
#12 The Mr. T Experience
#11 Panic! At the Disco
#10 Limp Bizkit
#9 Chumbawamba
#8 Enuff Z'nuff
#7 Mott the Hoople
#6 Hoobastank
#5 Toad the Wet Sprocket
#4 Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts
#3 Hootie & The Blowfish
#2 Archers Of Loaf
#1 !!!

I don't agree with Toad The Wet Sprocket...the article points out that it's from a Monty Python skit, and that "Owl Stretching Time" would be better. But the whole point is that the Monty Python skit was all about bands with shitty names.

Also, Of Montreal is a lame name, but not nearly as awful as the rest of the list.


there are many worse names than that list. I don't think "!!!" is that bad a name myself.


The The and Smashing Pumpkins are both great band names.

agreed.


that they made (make, I guess) coupled with the actual meaning of the name Styx and the image they upheld, this is a pretty suitable band name. When you hear the name "Styx" for the first time, you know what you are getting into.

yes


I just think that the river between here and Hell is an appropriate name for a band that takes every photo like serious cat and sings power love songs that get weird old guys to hold up their lighters.

but that's an unfair characterization of weird old guys.


Maroon 5 - actually any band involving numbers. (with the exception of The Four Skins).

Gang of Four



Neutral Milk Hotel. Such a stupid ass name for a band.

I can't believe it took 109 posts for someone to finally say this. NMH may make fine music but that has to be the single stupidest band name ever. In fact it's so stupid that I've convinced myself that it's some sort of ironic self-referential metajoke or something.


Yeah, same with The Flaming Lips.

uh, no.



anyway my 10 list

1. Neutral Milk Hotel
2. Moby Grape
3. Throbbing Gristle
4. Captain Beefheart

note: don't include food in your band name.

5. Butthole Surfers
6. Circle Jerks
7. Sham 69
8. Holy Fuck

note: quasi pornographic names may seem funny and cool when you're out of your gourd at 3 am, but they don't wear well.

9. Foghat
10. Boston, Chicago, Kansas, etc.

note: the 70s were really dreadful.

Courtney
07-13-2008, 05:31 PM
Any band that includes punctuation in their name is just confusing.

sonofhal
07-13-2008, 05:57 PM
Damn. I was going to call my new band *@?%&$£!

Hannahrain
07-13-2008, 06:10 PM
I like the name Porno for Pyros for some ridiculous reason.

miscorrections
07-13-2008, 06:11 PM
It's the repetition of the implosive ps.

zenidogx
07-13-2008, 06:18 PM
America

Memorial_07
07-14-2008, 09:39 AM
Toxic Narcotic and Antidot suck as names.


I see why you can say toxic narcotic sucks, but antidote?

come on now...

captncrzy
07-14-2008, 10:05 AM
I always thought Bon Jovi was stupid. It wasn't even his last name.

bakersfield
07-14-2008, 12:39 PM
doesn't get much worse than the goo goo dolls

M Sparks
07-14-2008, 01:06 PM
Ham Sandwich. Fuck's sake...

Please tell me some critic somewhere pulled the ol' "Shit Sandwich" gag...



Chumbawamba, they were actually a really fun band ...i posted a tic stub from a show i saw ...x****

No respect in the US. "WYHIWYG" is one of my favorite albums. Awful name in any case, but it's a shame they constantly get beat up by people who know nothing about them.


Is anything honestly worst than Hoobastank?

No.


Mary's Danish

Someone NEEDS to name a band "Distorted Vaginal Bib". Now.


12. This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

Never heard of this, but I'm loving it. Much better than "Hey, That's My Bike!"


2. :wumpscut:

Ahaha...I remember reading Industrial Nation magazine back in the day and seeing a letter-to-the-editor from this kid trying to awkwardly plug his hardcore EBM project, like a low-tech version of the Serpent Chains guy. I remember thinking how awful the name :wumpscut: was. If a pretentious goth kid reading a shitty zine in 1993 thinks your name sucks, that's pretty bad. I wouldn't have guessed we would still be discussing the the shittiness 15 years later.

MarkO
07-18-2008, 07:51 PM
Slightly Stoopid

Srsly. WTH?

Hannahrain
07-18-2008, 08:02 PM
Black Keys have been going for nearly 10 years

They were called this regularly by a loony Akron schizophrenic before they were even a band. Exempt. Exempt exempt exempt.

JustSteve
07-18-2008, 08:05 PM
now the greatest name in rock history would have to be anal cunt

i saw this chick group open for marilyn manson a few years ago called slunt. easy to figure out what two words make up that name.

apostle2
07-18-2008, 08:24 PM
Slide + Bunt = Slunt

MissingPerson
07-19-2008, 12:57 PM
Not to my knowledge Sparks, although now you point it out, that seems like a criminal oversight.

Out of curiosity, if anybody wants to know what Ham Sandwich sound like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU1N7o4nO24

Forgive the cheapass video and the slightly shonky lyrics, and I say that's a great song. I still wince everytime I say their name out loud though.

Ham Sandwich. Ugh. Just... ugh.

ScaryEire are a strong contender, it's just that I like Ham Sandwich, so it bothers me more.

Backwater
07-19-2008, 03:14 PM
Helloween

bakersfield
07-19-2008, 07:24 PM
Everything but the Girl

jazzz
07-19-2008, 07:44 PM
The The and Smashing Pumpkins are both great band names.

Matt Johnson=The The is genius... can't wait for the new record.

shakermaker113
07-20-2008, 11:57 AM
natalie portman's shaved head.

woogie846
07-20-2008, 12:35 PM
The Tony Danza Tapdancing Extravaganza

number9
07-31-2008, 11:42 AM
Fugazi is fun to say.......... fugazi

stinkbutt
07-31-2008, 11:45 AM
agoraphobic nose bleed
Triumph of Lethargy Skinned Alive to Death

elChurro
08-04-2008, 10:17 AM
its about the music not the name of the band... twats.