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View Full Version : what don't you ever want to know about TheLastGreatMeh ??



bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:43 PM
Does Meh have female or male genitalia

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:45 PM
Has Meh ever taken any recreation drugs suppository-style?

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:46 PM
Has Meh ever been to Carlsbad Caverns?

full on idle
05-15-2008, 12:47 PM
hey LW are you excited for the sex and the city movie to come out

Young blood
05-15-2008, 12:48 PM
hymehn.

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:48 PM
u don't really want to know tho...right Foi

full on idle
05-15-2008, 12:52 PM
why do you hate things that aren't confusing

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:52 PM
Meh, were u able to sell yer Beanie Babiez for a sweetass profit?

kreutz2112
05-15-2008, 12:53 PM
why haven't you responded to this ad?

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/w4m/680005723.html

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 12:54 PM
this thread makes as much sense as this:

http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com/allyourbase.jpg

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 12:57 PM
meow

quit stinking up mah thread !!!

what would disgust u to know about lastgreatmeh?

think of it & then post yer thoughts here


KAHHHH RIIIIIIST

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 12:59 PM
Does Meh have female or male genitalia

Male, but I'm trying to grow a vagina in the middle of my back.


Has Meh ever taken any recreation drugs suppository-style?

Yes actually. After a lengthy argument with a couple of fags about whether or not ecstasy hits stronger when taken by suppository I decided to be a guinea pig. I stuffed two pills in my ass. It burned. It wasn't particularly stronger, although it DEFINITELY localized the warm fuzzy feelings within my ass, so I can see why they love it.


Has Meh ever been to Carlsbad Caverns?

Nopers.


hey LW are you excited for the sex and the city movie to come out

That show was fucking horrible. It was like the shittiness of Seinfeld but instead of being a bunch of nebbishy Jewish NY shit it was a bunch of old cock-crazy yenta NY shit.


why do you hate things that aren't confusing

Like what things? Nothing is confusing to me--it's just that everyone else takes the easy way out.


Meh, were u able to sell yer Beanie Babiez for a sweetass profit?

Never into Beanies, although I used to make a decent amount of money selling action figures.


why haven't you responded to this ad?

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/w4m/680005723.html

Bitch is in atlanta. My dick is long, but not that long.

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 01:00 PM
I'll be back in a couple hours, will respond to all questions then.

Young blood
05-15-2008, 01:03 PM
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii94/TheWalkingDude/1207924722970.jpg

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 01:04 PM
meow

quit stinking up mah thread !!!

what would disgust u to know about lastgreatmeh?

think of it & then post yer thoughts here


KAHHHH RIIIIIIST

FIIIIIIIIINE! since it's you, bug :)

hey mr thelastgreatman:

when you whack off, what do you whack off into?

a) sock
b) tissue
c) bug's mom's mouth
d) other (please specify)

Young blood
05-15-2008, 01:05 PM
YES!

mouth fap!

TomAz
05-15-2008, 01:06 PM
ivy you blew it (so to speak) with the 'other' option.

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 01:08 PM
who wants to see me spank Ivy right now?

Mr.Nipples
05-15-2008, 01:08 PM
who would you share your needles with..
2)freddy mercury
2)rock hudson
3)eazy-e

full on idle
05-15-2008, 01:08 PM
That show was fucking horrible. It was like the shittiness of Seinfeld but instead of being a bunch of nebbishy Jewish NY shit it was a bunch of old cock-crazy yenta NY shit.

boooooooooooooo


Like what things? Nothing is confusing to me--it's just that everyone else takes the easy way out.

Actually I was talking to Bug so I don't have any examples.

TomAz
05-15-2008, 01:31 PM
who wants to see me spank Ivy right now?

that might be interesting.

captncrzy
05-15-2008, 01:35 PM
Why are all the threads so gay right now?

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 01:36 PM
What's the oldest woman you ever bagged?
What race was she?
Did she go a2m?

amyzzz
05-15-2008, 01:36 PM
meh.

BROKENDOLL
05-15-2008, 01:37 PM
FIIIIIIIIINE! since it's you, bug :)

hey mr thelastgreatman:

when you whack off, what do you whack off into?

a) sock
b) tissue
c) bug's mom's mouth
d) other (please specify) My guess is a mirror!

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 01:40 PM
Meh, do you let dogs lick yer mouth as a "kiss"?

Blinken
05-15-2008, 01:49 PM
Have you ever fucked an animal? What animal? (Human doesn't count)

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 01:53 PM
Have you ever fucked an animal? What animal? (Human doesn't count)

What about a centaur?

Is head from a centaur bestiality or would it be ok?

anti-square
05-15-2008, 01:54 PM
Do you think same-sex marriage is as bad idea as heterosexual marriage?

Did you resist the urge to sniff your finger after you inserted the ecstasy? Am I naive in thinking that you weren't assisted in the insertion process?

Blinken
05-15-2008, 02:06 PM
What about a centaur?

Is head from a centaur bestiality or would it be ok?

Hmmmm that is a good question. I think head from a centaur would be fine, but if you fucked the centaur, or let it fuck you, then it is beastiality.

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 02:10 PM
Meh,

try & explain to me again why u didn't have sex with Ashley Dupre while i kick u in the nutz

ivankay
05-15-2008, 02:14 PM
What's the closest you have been to death? How did it happen? What were your thoughts and feelings when you were in the clear?

What set you on the literary path? What form of writing brings you your greatest joy? Frustration? Is it more gift or work in your opinion?

i'll leave it at those.

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 02:19 PM
ivankay

it's shit u DON'T want to know about Meh

Barbara, the ninja
05-15-2008, 02:20 PM
Do you and your roommates have lingerie pillow fights?

What's the lowest thing you've done for free drugs?

ivankay
05-15-2008, 02:26 PM
ivankay

it's shit u DON'T want to know about Meh

oooops.

ok, ummmmm.....let's see here...i don't want to know if Randy has ever had a hot desire for Chris based on the joy he got from the avatar.

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 02:28 PM
i heard supre & Meh reached for the same smore and touched hands

ivankay
05-15-2008, 02:28 PM
i heard supre & Meh reached for the same smore and touched hands

awwwwww. Peace in the Middle East coming up next.

thestripe
05-15-2008, 02:51 PM
LW, what is your favorite local soup kitchen?

TomAz
05-15-2008, 02:53 PM
What's the closest you have been to death? How did it happen? What were your thoughts and feelings when you were in the clear?

What set you on the literary path? What form of writing brings you your greatest joy? Frustration? Is it more gift or work in your opinion?

i'll leave it at those.


ivankay

it's shit u DON'T want to know about Meh

i think ivankay's on the right track actually. who the fuck wants to hear randy prattle on endlessly about this shit?

bug on your lip
05-15-2008, 02:56 PM
hahaha

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 02:56 PM
ivy you blew it (so to speak) with the 'other' option.

awww man, hopefully i'll do better with my next masturbatory related question =P


who wants to see me spank Ivy right now?

bitch please, it took like three people to hold me down on my 21st to do the whole birthday spanking thing, so i'd like to see you try!!! *puts up dukes*

kreutz2112
05-15-2008, 03:11 PM
I was gonna ask a question to the extent of "who would you rather fuck" and then put up a picture of BD and a girl with down syndrome, but I after I googled "down syndrome girl" my conscience took over and I just couldn't do it.

TomAz
05-15-2008, 03:12 PM
pussy.

between the Lost thread, the Sex and the City thread*, and now you pussying out, the board sure is girly today. I wish it were football season.

*edit: also the Damn It's Hot thread and the vagina lady thread.

kreutz2112
05-15-2008, 03:13 PM
fuck you.

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 03:14 PM
FIGHT!

that'll man things up around here :)

seriously though, someone should start death matches against board members in the polls forum or something.

garrett222
05-15-2008, 03:15 PM
FIIIIIIIIINE! since it's you, bug :)

hey mr thelastgreatman:

when you whack off, what do you whack off into?

a) sock
b) tissue
c) bug's mom's mouth
d) other (please specify)

You're kinda slutty...

TomAz
05-15-2008, 03:17 PM
fuck you.

there ya go. much better. is it beer time yet?

kreutz2112
05-15-2008, 03:19 PM
http://www.narrowslodge.com/images/pics/bearHuntingLarge.jpg

http://www.alaskatrophyadventures.com/DSCN0200_006.jpg

http://www.oakgrovehuntingpreserve.com/Oak-Grove-Hunting-Preserve-2.jpg

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 03:19 PM
You're kinda slutty...

hey man, i'm not the one whackin off into bug's mom's mouth so don't point the finger at me... =P

TomAz
05-15-2008, 03:20 PM
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1303/626885565_b9de746593_b.jpg

Young blood
05-15-2008, 03:21 PM
hey man, i'm not the one whackin off into bug's mom's mouth so don't point the finger at me... =P

That would be me.

ivankay
05-15-2008, 03:22 PM
you guys caused external laughter with the pictures.

Giving GayPS a run for his income.

thestripe
05-15-2008, 03:22 PM
That would be me.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Barbara, the ninja
05-15-2008, 03:33 PM
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1303/626885565_b9de746593_b.jpg

Nice bike, TomAz.

full on idle
05-15-2008, 03:34 PM
his hair is wet

Young blood
05-15-2008, 03:35 PM
Dude! I think I see ur cock tomaz. PUT SOME PANTS ON!

TomAz
05-15-2008, 03:37 PM
and I have a blister.

full on idle
05-15-2008, 03:38 PM
man we've been talking on the internet for a long time.

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 04:01 PM
I have a tent just like that red one in the background

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:10 PM
FIIIIIIIIINE! since it's you, bug :)

hey mr thelastgreatman:

when you whack off, what do you whack off into?

a) sock
b) tissue
c) bug's mom's mouth
d) other (please specify)

Most of the time c, but occasionally d--bug's mom's face.


who would you share your needles with..
2)freddy mercury
2)rock hudson
3)eazy-e

Freddy. If you're going to put yourself at risk for AIDS, you might as well get the most talented AIDS available. Plus, then there'd be no reason not to let him fuck me.


What's the oldest woman you ever bagged?
What race was she?
Did she go a2m?

32, white, and yes.


Meh, do you let dogs lick yer mouth as a "kiss"?

No, fuck that shit. I hate it when animals fuck with my personal space. Plus I don't care what people want to claim with that "dog's mouths have fewer germs" bullshit--that mouth has had dogshit in it.


Have you ever fucked an animal? What animal? (Human doesn't count)

See my answer to Ivy's question.


Do you think same-sex marriage is as bad idea as heterosexual marriage?

Did you resist the urge to sniff your finger after you inserted the ecstasy? Am I naive in thinking that you weren't assisted in the insertion process?

I was just hanging out with my best gay friend and he had a funny line about it: "I don't know what the fuck these faggots are thinking. My favorite part about being gay is that when I break up, I break up. No lawyer, no kids, no nothing, just "Bye, motherfucker."

Of course I didn't resist. And I wouldn't trust anybody's finger up my ass but my own.

chairmenmeow47
05-15-2008, 04:14 PM
Freddy. If you're going to put yourself at risk for AIDS, you might as well get the most talented AIDS available. Plus, then there'd be no reason not to let him fuck me.

this is the best answer in the thread!!!

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:20 PM
Meh,

try & explain to me again why u didn't have sex with Ashley Dupre while i kick u in the nutz

She was 14 and frighteningly whorish.


What's the closest you have been to death? How did it happen? What were your thoughts and feelings when you were in the clear?

What set you on the literary path? What form of writing brings you your greatest joy? Frustration? Is it more gift or work in your opinion?

i'll leave it at those.

They claim I overdosed on methadone one night, but I don't see how the fuck it's possible so I refuse to believe it. I've taken three times as much as I could have possibly drank from that bottle, it just doesn't make sense. When I woke up I was really pissed off about the whole thing because there was a paramedic yelling in my face really annoyingly. My feelings after it was all over was that it was a really douchey, costly way for God to send me a message.

Everyone in my family is a pretty exceptional writer, and I spent a lot of friendless days when I was around 10-16 just reading or watching movies. Couple of books knocked me on my ass so much I decided it was the only thing I really wanted to do--Catch-22, Stranger In A Strange Land, One Flew. Frankly, writing on the board is probably the most fun for me, but in terms of real writing it's short stories. Writing screenplay is brutally unfulfilling, it's a terrible medium to work in. My lack of a work ethic is frustrating, I have difficulty getting anything done without stimulants.


Do you and your roommates have lingerie pillow fights?

What's the lowest thing you've done for free drugs?

No, although we live in the valley so we're shirtless a lot.

Stolen other people's drugs, occasionally violently.


oooops.

ok, ummmmm.....let's see here...i don't want to know if Randy has ever had a hot desire for Chris based on the joy he got from the avatar.

That fucking picture has brought me more joy than anything else on this board. I just really dread the uncomfortable conversation with Supre one day.


LW, what is your favorite local soup kitchen?

Bug's mom's gash.


i think ivankay's on the right track actually. who the fuck wants to hear randy prattle on endlessly about this shit?

The masses, Tom. The masses.


there ya go. much better. is it beer time yet?

It was beer time like three hours ago. More accurately bourbon and coke time, though.

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 04:23 PM
What kind of bourbon are we talkin about? Someone just gave me a bottle of Booker's that I still have yet to crack open, if you haven't had it it's my personal favorite bourbon.

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:24 PM
What kind of bourbon are we talkin about? Someone just gave me a bottle of Booker's that I still have yet to crack open, if you haven't had it it's my personal favorite bourbon.

Not really a fan--it was just all my buddy had, and it was Jim Bean. It works more or less as well as Jack.

TomAz
05-15-2008, 04:25 PM
a bottle of Booker's that I still have yet to crack open, if you haven't had it it's my personal favorite bourbon.

you just contradicted yourself

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 04:27 PM
sorry I not so good with the grammar

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 04:27 PM
I meant it's not open yet and it's my favorite kind of bourbon

TomAz
05-15-2008, 04:28 PM
there you go again.

stinkbutt
05-15-2008, 04:29 PM
ah fuck it I give up bye everyone off to see subtle

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:31 PM
Tom, I'm curious. What is this contradiction you speak of?

TomAz
05-15-2008, 04:31 PM
nevermind, it's not worth it

bug's mom
05-15-2008, 04:32 PM
....See my answer to Ivy's question.

I'll take that as a compliment

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:45 PM
Know what, I'm tired of writing this thing. (http://www.sendspace.com/file/nal9gb) Have at thee, Coachella board.

Jagh20
05-15-2008, 04:55 PM
Lame question but...What high school did you go to?

I think I know you from the SFV.....You seem like a contiuation school type of guy.

And your drug of choice..sorry if asked already


100th post Woo HOO

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 04:58 PM
Jersey.

full on idle
05-15-2008, 05:08 PM
Liz's eyes burn with righteous feminine hatred.

\/\

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 05:13 PM
I thought of you, of course, FOI.


God I'm going to regret having done that, but I don't really care. I'm probably just going to shelve this thing when I move back to Jersey. Fuck it.

gaypalmsprings
05-15-2008, 05:38 PM
http://www.littlefatty.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/cnr_meh.jpg

PineapplePete
05-15-2008, 05:50 PM
now it does

thefunkylama
05-15-2008, 05:53 PM
potato him.

full on idle
05-15-2008, 05:58 PM
A very talented young woman is belting out an acoustic
rendition of "Under The Bridge" that puts RHCP to shame.

*.*

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 06:13 PM
*.*

Truth, I know the girl, she'll make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Does an amazing rendition of Me And Bobby Mcgee too.

PineapplePete
05-15-2008, 06:20 PM
What's you middle name?

gaypalmsprings
05-15-2008, 06:21 PM
Is your anus an inny or an outty?

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 06:22 PM
Is your anus an inny or an outty?

Portishead inverted my anus. Only a few other acts have pulled that off.

Bud Luster
05-15-2008, 07:55 PM
when you whack off, what do you whack off into?

a) sock
b) tissue
c) bug's mom's mouth
d) other (please specify)

Ivy is now my favorite for all the right, just, and noble reasons. Also,

LGM - why wont you face fuck me? (I forget???)

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 07:57 PM
When the hell did I say I wouldn't face fuck you? I'll fuck every face on this board.

Bud Luster
05-15-2008, 07:58 PM
guess it doesnt matter. Its a love fest in here again... for now.

gaypalmsprings
05-15-2008, 08:25 PM
randy, you gonna get married now that it's legal in California?

thelastgreatman
05-15-2008, 08:31 PM
randy, you gonna get married now that it's legal in California?

I've already covered this--reread, gaypalm.

suprefan
05-15-2008, 08:54 PM
That fucking picture has brought me more joy than anything else on this board. I just really dread the uncomfortable conversation with Supre one day.





Yeah, one day..............................

Pixiessp
05-15-2008, 09:59 PM
My guess is a mirror!

ha ha. nice.

Pixiessp
05-15-2008, 10:01 PM
Hmmmm that is a good question. I think head from a centaur would be fine, but if you fucked the centaur, or let it fuck you, then it is beastiality.

love is so complicated!

full on idle
05-15-2008, 10:07 PM
love is so complicated!

that was funny

garrett222
05-16-2008, 12:33 AM
hey man, i'm not the one whackin off into bug's mom's mouth so don't point the finger at me... =P

ok i take it back. chairmenmeow47 PM me your top 5 bands from coachella 2008..i have to know.

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 12:34 AM
I think Ivy's quickly becoming my favorite. And if you want to know something about the chairmen, start a fucking interview thread. (don't really do it, you'll suck at it.)

PineapplePete
05-16-2008, 12:40 AM
Randy, could you please repost that really fucked up short story where the main character laughed at the Twin Towers collapsing and then went to a strip club and got this chick to dry hump him till she cried?

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 12:43 AM
Randy, could you please repost that really fucked up short story where the main character laughed at the Twin Towers collapsing and then went to a strip club and got this chick to dry hump him till she cried?

::shrug:: Okay, Pete.

On September 11th, 2001, I was at the tail end of a three-week-long binge on psychoactive mushrooms. I'd picked up a pound of quality fungus near the close of August for an agreeable 1600 dollars and decided not to sell any of them, but rather to subsist on nothing but them for as long as I could. The world seemed to be more beautiful than it ever had before as my brain was constantly discovering poetic drug-induced profundity. I had been staring into a mirror for three hours or so, the only thing I knew to be 100 percent accurate about my face being the smile, when the phone rang.
"Ghostbusters," I answered, in signature style.
"I burn, baby, burn like disco inferno." It was Sprak, my closest friend, a fairly exclusive grouping in itself.
"You don't say?"
"What are your thoughts," he asks, and I’m tempted to tell him that twenty years from now I plan to be moving shit around with my brain.
"I dunno, dude, it's pretty fucked up. My eyes are almost completely black. I want my pupils to always be this size. Maybe I could get my iris tattooed with lasers or something."
For some reason, he’s confused by this. "Huh? Are you still tripping? Turn on channel four."
"Nah, I never get visuals off the TV." Eventually he explained what was going on and I excitedly flipped on the tube. What an incredible sight. Not that I was happy at the end of all those lives, but I wasn’t necessarily bothered by it either. I didn't know anyone connected in any way to the WTC, or really New York in general, so to me it was just spectacle. I sat there, awestruck, wide-eyed and grinning at the flames licking out from the gaping holes, slipping upwards and then vanishing, as thick, tumultuous smoke poured into the sky in great barrels. Finally, something had happened. My generation would no longer have to list Cobain's or Biggie's or Tupac's death as our definitive event. Besides, any kind of rebellion is good in my eyes. If you have power, I'm sorry, but I'd kinda like to see you be terrorized. Even out the field a little. After a while I got bored of the replays and ventured out into public.
Everywhere I went I was irritated by the conversations I overheard. Patriotic bullshit, kill the ragheads bullshit, sentimental bullshit, I just didn't care anymore. It had happened five hours ago. Couldn't we move on? Were there any good movies out? But I knew that people wouldn't share my views, especially after being chased out of a diner for commenting that, "Hey, at least some cops went down, eh?" I had to find somewhere to go that would just be business as usual. The answer was obvious--stripclub.
Delilah's Den in South Amboy, New Jersey: the finest fully nude establishment within 45 minutes of my home. I was, still kinda am, a semi-regular customer, known to most of the employees primarily by virtue of the dough I throw around and the fact that I occasionally deal to the girls/bouncers/manager. It seemed like the flesh business was my only chance of not having to hear some whining. I was almost right. All the experienced girls were going about business as usual, smiling, flirting, no talk whatsoever of world affairs, just offers of fake affection in exchange for real money. But my favorite girl at the time, Vanessa, a youngun' with a delightfully natural body who bore a slight resemblance to a girl I had a thing for freshman year, was staying fully clothed, watching the TVs (which were not playing ESPN as they usually did, but rather more fucking news which was all a-twitter with their new footage of the first plane), not even dancing. I inquired of one of the other girls, Vegas, what was wrong with her.
"Vanessa has some friends in NY. She hasn't been able to get in touch with them all day because of the phone lines being down, and Victor (the boss) wouldn't let her take off."
"Oh man, that's horrible." But that's not really what I was thinking. I saw an opportunity. See, what the girls do onstage is their business, but the revenue from lapdances is cut with both the club and the bouncers, so girls aren't allowed to refuse an offer unless they want to get smacked around. I circled over to the stage exit to make sure she couldn't run to the back without me catching her. She refused to make eye contact as she got off, but I stopped her.
"Hey kiddo, can I get a dance?" Stunned, she looked at me like I was a demon—how could I be so devoid of compassion as to be in a stripclub on this sad day, asking her to rub her sex all over me? Little did realize…
"I really don't think you want me. I'm not feeling up to it tonight."
"Oh, I'm sure you'll be just fine." The anger in her eyes just faded to exhausted compliance, a look that women in the objectification professions sometimes acquire permanently, and she led me to the private area. Under normal circumstances she was a wonderful dance, a real sweetheart who would try to break the rules for you if no one was around, grabbing your dick with her hand, kissing it, throwing a little tittyfuck in there (if you were wearing soft, non-zippered pants, as one always should when getting a lap dance--sweatpants or pajamas recommended, the girls will appreciate it too), and letting you feel her up when it was easy to hide. This time we were the only two back there, and yet there was none of that. Usually she would start off easing into it, lightly brushing her body along mine while moaning in my ear before engaging in any serious grinding, to give me time to get a hard-on going. Instead, she just rolled her slipdress off and mounted my leg, sliding back and forth without any passion, her face a foot away from mine, staring up at the wall, silent. I wasn't even aroused, and I doubt I could have been with all the mushrooms in me, but I was fascinated with the image. The pure uncompromised misery of this girl's situation, combined with the repeating images of crumbling buildings and expert flying playing on a TV screen easily visible just over her shoulder was tantalizing a more powerful lust in me—a love for tragedy. After only two minutes or so, she got up and started to put her clothes back on, but I pulled out a second twenty and asked for another.
"What the fuck, why? I was horrible, I know I was, I did it on purpose."
"I don’t know what you mean, I thought it was some of your best work." She grimaced, then frowned, and took the dress back off. This time she was a little more into it, trying to appease me because she thought I was making her dance again as punishment for not doing enough the first time. She moved my left hand up onto her breast and I let it drop back to the bench. I didn’t want her to have any legitimate grounds for complaint to the bouncers. This time she went what felt like the whole four minutes, but when she got up I had another twenty out before she could even reach for her dress. She flinched, the fear of an abused dog flickering in her eyes, and got down on her knees to pull out all the stops. Her hands ran up and down my torso as she rubbed her tits all over my groin and thighs, and she tried to pull my dick up between them but I was still limp, and she looked up at me curiously where my smile and black eyes obviously scared the shit out of her because she immediately turned around and started trying a doggystyle technique. She switched up as frequently as she normally would, moving into a cowgirl position, clutching my face tightly to her chest, moaning, acting for all she was worth. The song ended and she stayed on me but pulled back and looked to me in question. I had the bill in my hand, waiting, having already decided that this had to reach complete fruition. In disbelief she let out a brief shriek of anguish and the anger and frustration took over. She forcibly pulled me forward until my ass was at the edge of the seat, reached into my pants and stretched my dick along my left thigh, then mounted her pussy directly on top of it and wrapped her legs around my leg, tight and efficient. Now she was just riding me for all she could muster, moving so fervently she had to grip the back of the bench to steady herself. Deep guttural grunts were coming out of her, but with no pretense of sexuality to it, just the natural exhale of air for someone tensing every muscle in their body. She could only keep it up for two minutes or so, when her body heaved, and she stopped, and collapsed on top of me, and softly began to weep. This was what I had been waiting for. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered into her ear, “It’s okay sweetie—I’m here.” As I had hoped, this caused her to snap, the halting, sniffling tears of a moment ago instantly transforming into full-on bawling. Her arms came around me again and her hands held my face cheek-to-cheek with her and she resumed grinding, slowly, almost passionately, as she squeezed me and tried to press as much of her body against mine as she could just to feel someone there. “Shh,” I whispered to her, rubbing her back, and as her crying started to slow I helped her off me and onto the seat next to me. Now I stood up, and got out a fifty and held it out to her. She looked up, reached for it, grabbed ahold of it, and I didn’t let go so that she would look me in the eyes. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I said. “Thanks,” she replied, mascara streaming all the way down her face and onto her neck, and I walked away, wishing that there were an immense cloud of dust rushing at my back at a thousand miles an hour.

Mr. Dylanja
05-16-2008, 12:58 AM
Bravo! Bravo!

I truly enjoyed that Randy, nice work!

Get your ass motivated and do more!

allyjoy
05-16-2008, 01:02 AM
Randy, you are deeply disturbed

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 01:03 AM
Ally, I'm just a simple poet living in an age that has no love for poetry.

kreutz2112
05-16-2008, 01:06 AM
that was pretty good.

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 01:08 AM
That was nothing--I wrote that in one shot the night before some open mic where I just wanted to fuck with all the teenyboppers. It's partially true, except for the very ending--I wasn't quite that mean to her. If you want to read something GOOD, Kreutz, I'll send you something GOOD.

kreutz2112
05-16-2008, 01:09 AM
do it.

allyjoy
05-16-2008, 01:10 AM
it's not your retelling that disturbs me...

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 01:11 AM
It's all just juxtaposition, Ally. You'd be amazed how easy it is to come up with situations that churn people's souls around once you know how to flip the juxtapose on any idea.

allyjoy
05-16-2008, 01:25 AM
It's about how you see yourself that disturbs me, not the whole whore crying on 9/11

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 01:27 AM
Which is?

allyjoy
05-16-2008, 01:29 AM
we'll talk about it when we get our nails didded ;)

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 01:33 AM
I'm down--I lost some of my weave throwing down with that bitch last week anyway.

bug on your lip
05-16-2008, 06:40 AM
oh yeah... another thing i didn't want to know Meh

are u one of those gheys that always has black fingernail paint on?

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 07:08 AM
Jesus Christ, absolutely not. I don't decorate myself.

Young Blood's Sister
05-16-2008, 07:20 AM
if u really love tragedy i suggest giving me a twirl randy

thestripe
05-16-2008, 07:23 AM
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 07:27 AM
I wanna see a thread where Bug's mom interviews Young Blood's filthy whore of a sister.

Young Blood's Sister
05-16-2008, 07:29 AM
menage a twat

allyjoy
05-16-2008, 10:35 AM
when did you discover you were in love with me? ;)

SFChrissy
05-16-2008, 10:37 AM
why haven't you responded to this ad?

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/w4m/680005723.html

fuhker you just killed it!!!

chairmenmeow47
05-16-2008, 10:38 AM
hey randy, have you ever gotten hard over a family member?

kreutz2112
05-16-2008, 11:04 AM
fuhker you just killed it!!!

huh?

Kali27
05-16-2008, 11:09 AM
when did you discover you were in love with me? ;)

Oh, I think everyone is in love with you my dear :)

PotVsKtl
05-16-2008, 11:21 AM
Hi Randy. What horrifying episode resulted in your anachronistically salt-and-pepper mapcap? Was it:

a. Getting your puckerpit brutalized in an Icelandic steambath by four time World's Strongest Man grandchampion Magnús Ver Magnússon?
b. A rough-and-tumble kayak trip down the frothing wastes of the Ganges Delta smuggling bundles of Radiohead floorseats in your marsupial slimesack?
c. The long dark night of the soul?

Thanks for your consideration.

KooKoo Banana Funtime
05-16-2008, 11:24 AM
Pot just won this thread

*blows kisses & throws roses

schoolofruckus
05-16-2008, 11:33 AM
Dani/Erik - Can I have my title changed to "Marsupial Slimesack"?

Blinken
05-16-2008, 11:36 AM
So you were keistering the Radiohead floor seats for Randy . . . interesting.

thelastgreatman
05-16-2008, 02:08 PM
when did you discover you were in love with me? ;)

I love all my bitches--no foolsies.


hey randy, have you ever gotten hard over a family member?

I've gotten erections while standing/kneeling over most of my family members, but I wasn't thinking about them.


Hi Randy. What horrifying episode resulted in your anachronistically salt-and-pepper mapcap? Was it:

a. Getting your puckerpit brutalized in an Icelandic steambath by four time World's Strongest Man grandchampion Magnús Ver Magnússon?
b. A rough-and-tumble kayak trip down the frothing wastes of the Ganges Delta smuggling bundles of Radiohead floorseats in your marsupial slimesack?
c. The long dark night of the soul?

Thanks for your consideration.

Okay, you took this one with the phrase "salt-and-pepper madcap" alone. Seriously, do you just save all this shit up in a little pocket notebook or what?