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View Full Version : Zack de la Rocha vs. Björk



BonerMalone
02-02-2007, 07:14 PM
Who wins in a fight?
Same rules as the Bear vs. Gorilla thread.

like a caesar
02-02-2007, 07:29 PM
how about bear vs shark (hehe)

Jiggers
02-02-2007, 07:37 PM
Man bear pigs cannot be stopped... by anything, ANYTHING

atom heart
02-02-2007, 08:35 PM
Björk is crazy badass. Those nails are poison!

gaypalmsprings
02-03-2007, 09:14 AM
Was Bjork in ABBA?

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
02-03-2007, 09:21 AM
Yeah Bjork is effing crazy...

Courtney
02-03-2007, 09:26 AM
I love her music... but Bjork kinda scares me.

atom heart
02-03-2007, 10:59 AM
CoachellaHellYeah, I love your sig. Where did it come from?

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
02-03-2007, 11:00 AM
CoachellaHellYeah, I love your sig. Where did it come from?

Found it on a Radiohead website..Yeah I love it...

TomAz
02-03-2007, 09:30 PM
he equivocates.

SojuGorae
02-04-2007, 01:12 AM
Zach grew up in Irvine, Southern California behind the orange curtain.

Bjork would catch him with a right hook, take him down, go full mount, and then ground and pound his ass, straight up...

Yo.

hitthenorth
02-04-2007, 12:35 PM
Bjork is fucking nails. I wouldn't mess I tell thee.

delibot3029
02-04-2007, 12:57 PM
If they duked it out, it would totally be like that telepathic/telekinetic fight scene at the end of Dark City. Greatest fight scene ever in a film, but that is beside the point. I believe that Björk has greater psychic battle advantages than Zack.

ivankay
02-04-2007, 09:25 PM
i'm lacking skills. i tried to put up the smack down Bjork put on the reporter she thought touched her kid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVIAAUjdRXQ

whoops, link already on this thread...this one's a little different in the presentation.

ellipsis
02-05-2007, 06:24 AM
would be an interesting bout to say the least. i think zach would have the edge, as his dreadlocks give him special powers that make him extra rageful. they glow when activated.

in a recent interview, de la rocha stated that each dreadlock has a certain element to hate. the longest of these is pure rage against the breed of dogs known as pomeranians - de la rocha said that the reason for this was that "they give me the willies."

saying that though, if bjork were to make a surprise attack on zach, she would surely win, as he would not have time to activate his deadly dreadlocks of rage, as some of them take up to 6 hours to gain full power, and he would be mercilessly scratched to death by the eccentric icelandic singer's 2 metre long nails, which she has not cut since 1992, citing a belief that her late granfather is one of them, but she's not sure which one. bjork has killed approximately 18 people with these razor sharp talons which ashe has a special love for, indeed, her album medulla has been noted by many critics a a concept album about her relationship with her long unkempt nails.

here's a few facts for you:

zach de la rocha has special names for each of his dreadlocks, but does not say them in front of anyone, instead choosing to refer to them collectively as the "brothers and sisters"

bjork's face is said to glow green for 3 hours after killing someone. this effect was once seen onstage, during the first half of a gig in 1998, and was mistook for mood lighting.

no one has touched zach de la rocha since 1990.

bjork uses 400 gallons of nail varnish a week.

it is very likely that zach de la rocha does not know who bjork is. if he did, his chronic fear of icelandic women with freakishly long nails would stop him from ever appearing in public. (this fear developed inexplicably after a particularly long drinking session.)

bjork has the power to turn anyone into an apple.

mob roulette
02-05-2007, 01:41 PM
here's a few facts for you:

zach de la rocha has special names for each of his dreadlocks, but does not say them in front of anyone, instead choosing to refer to them collectively as the "brothers and sisters"

bjork's face is said to glow green for 3 hours after killing someone. this effect was once seen onstage, during the first half of a gig in 1998, and was mistook for mood lighting.

no one has touched zach de la rocha since 1990.

bjork uses 400 gallons of nail varnish a week.

it is very likely that zach de la rocha does not know who bjork is. if he did, his chronic fear of icelandic women with freakishly long nails would stop him from ever appearing in public. (this fear developed inexplicably after a particularly long drinking session.)

bjork has the power to turn anyone into an apple.

now THAT's a worthwhile post.

also do not forget that Bjork is secretly an eskimo and a witchdoctor and would likely use her pagan inuit telekinesis to call down avalanches and killer icicles and the like.

Hannahrain
02-06-2007, 05:29 PM
for what it's worth, a friend of mine who works with record companies drove bjork around in a VW van for a week and said she was perfectly lovely.

That being said, she really beat the shit out of that obnoxious reporter.

woogie846
02-06-2007, 07:09 PM
Zach would dread slap Bjork. Yet, she would probably rip out Zach's dreads and tie him to the ceiling by his feet with his hair.

Arriaga II
02-07-2007, 03:46 PM
Zach de la Rocha has already been to Mars...Thats why there are no signs of life over there.

ratmfan1982
02-07-2007, 08:17 PM
all u people need to learn how to spell zacks name... its not zach.. its ZACK, u fake ass fans... also he doesent have dreds ne more so he would not b able to dred slap her

Omar1
02-07-2007, 09:20 PM
yeah duh!!!!!!

TomAz
02-08-2007, 08:31 AM
yeah u fake ass fans!

RATMan
02-08-2007, 11:59 AM
Every REAL Rage fan knows that Zack doesent have dreds ne more so he would not b able to dred slap her

U got owned

TomAz
02-09-2007, 05:05 AM
sux 2 B U

atom heart
02-09-2007, 04:26 PM
Then he absolutely no chance against Bjork.

ellipsis
02-10-2007, 08:47 AM
yeah shit guys sorry, you got me. i'm clearly not a rage against the machine fan if i make a common spelling error for that name and don't know about the singer's current hairstyle. shit, i know all the songs off by heart and i can play half of them on the guitar and i've researched what they sang about and i've moshed a million times to killing in the name and i've listened to each of their albums about 1000+ times each, but shit yeah, i'm not a real fan, god i just realised how much i hate them thanks for that, i'll go home on the saturday now.

kroqken
04-22-2007, 06:54 PM
Zack is a feminist, meaning he would never hit a woman, so Bjork wins by default.

PotVsKtl
04-22-2007, 07:01 PM
A real feminist would have no problem hitting a woman in the proper circumstances.

kroqken
04-22-2007, 07:02 PM
What are the proper circumstances? The culture of violence allows for so much abuse of women.

PotVsKtl
04-22-2007, 07:04 PM
The same circumstances in which they would hit a man.

SillyGrl<3
04-22-2007, 08:33 PM
I say Bjork LOL

Sigmabass
04-22-2007, 08:43 PM
I think they would make a totally Hawt couple. Zach has such passion and anger that is sooooo griping....dramatic.....Bjork seems like she would totally go for that, you know what I mean?

SillyGrl<3
04-22-2007, 08:52 PM
Totally








LOL

BeatJunky
04-22-2007, 08:58 PM
Ooooh the perfect fantasy, I wanna see the swan outfit get ripped off in a heated battle.

Sigmabass
04-22-2007, 09:01 PM
LOL 4 REALZ!

S.Fantana
04-23-2007, 01:08 PM
Lol..you said Dread Slap

betao
04-23-2007, 01:42 PM
It's a close call.

Even though Zack DLR has a following of meathead rage fans that he could strategically unleash onto Bjork, I think she could take them. After all, she has one hell of a voice.

SojuGorae
04-23-2007, 01:49 PM
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/07/03/bjork_wideweb__430x304.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/Lollapaloozaratm.jpg

GrossMagic
11-23-2009, 09:25 PM
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Still-ill
11-23-2009, 10:45 PM
Jgonen=Ken Jr.?

GrossMagic
11-23-2009, 10:52 PM
Jgonen=Ken Jr.?

no.