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schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 09:54 AM
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU THIS TIME.

Terms: Neutral terrain, one-on-one fist fight. To the death. With no weapons or any other outside advantages.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 09:56 AM
(AP) Rebels in eastern Congo have agreed to stop killing mountain gorillas and allow government rangers to restart patrols, conservationists said Wednesday. Earlier this month, rebels allegedly killed and ate two silverback mountain gorillas, according to field reports collected by London-based Africa Conservation Fund.

Only about 700 mountain gorillas are left in the world, 380 of them spread across a volcanic mountain range in Central Africa that crosses the borders of Congo, Rwanda and Uganda. Silverbacks are the older adult males of the species.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:05 AM
Bear crashes hockey game, mom saves kids
By Paul Waldie
Toronto Globe and Mail — Feb. 21, 2006

IVUJIVIK, Quebec — Lydia Angyiou's kids sure won't be giving her much trouble any more, now that they've seen her wrestle a 700-pound polar bear.

Angyiou lives in Ivujivik, a village of 300 people on the shore of Hudson Bay in northern Quebec.

One Wednesday evening earlier this month, Angyiou was walking near the village community center with her two sons when a group of children playing street hockey nearby started shouting and pointing frantically.

Angyiou, 41, turned around and saw a polar bear sizing up her 7-year-old son.

She told the children to run and raced around to get between the bear and her son. Then she started kicking and punching the animal, according to police reports.

In a flash, the bear swatted her in the face and she fell on her back. With the bear on top of her, Angyiou began kicking her legs in a bicycle-pedaling motion. She was swatted once more and rolled over, but the bear moved toward her again.

Siqualuk Ainalik heard the commotion and came rushing over. Seeing Angyiou wrestling with the bear, he ran to his brother's home, grabbed a rifle and headed back to the street. He fired a few warning shots.

The sound diverted the bear's attention from Angyiou just long enough for him to aim and fire again. According to police, Ainalik fired four shots into the bear before it finally died.

With the help of some neighbors, Angyiou made it to the home of Nelson Conn, a constable with the Kativik Regional Police Force.

"She came in in a panic," Conn recalled. "She was obviously in shock. She was saying, 'Bear, bear.' I just took her over to our nursing station and I asked where and if the bear was dead. She said, 'Yes.'"

Remarkably, Angyiou suffered only a couple of scratches and a black eye. She and the local police have been fielding calls from across Canada ever since the incident was first reported last week in the Nunatsiaq News.

Meanwhile, villagers are still marveling at her courage, and there is talk of nominating her for a bravery medal.

"I've been here 24 years and I've never seen this before," said Larry Hubert, a regional captain with the police force who arrived on the scene just after the bear was shot. "For sure, she saved the kids' lives."

Hubert has known Angyiou for 15 years and he can't believe she took on a bear. He said the bear measured eight feet in length and weighed at least 700 pounds.

Angyiou "is about 5-foot-nothing and 90 pounds on a wet day," Hubert said with a laugh. "She's pretty quiet. I'm surprised she went and did this.

"But I guess when your back is up against the wall, I guess we come up with super-human strength."

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 10:10 AM
The grizzly is the most aggressive of all the bears. The grizzly has no enemies or predators. The grizzly rarely fights and when he does, it usually is the victor.

just sayin

Source: http://www.bearcountryusa.com/ (http://www.bearcountryusa.com/information.asp?ID=11)

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:11 AM
Cite your source.

Anyway, I don't know how we're even arguing about this when a 5'11" woman wrestled with a polar bear (I know, not a grizzly, but close) and won.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 10:12 AM
Grizzly Bears and Polar Bears are not the same thing

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 10:13 AM
Polar bears, according to some discovery channel thing I was watching, are the hardest animal to hunt because they are so dangerous.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 10:14 AM
"So, what are mountain gorillas? And why are we so concerned about the loss of only two of these animals, in an area that has seen the deaths of millions of people? Mr de Merode believes that they are as important as any human beings. "The mountain gorillas are extremely vulnerable and the death of only a handful could have a significant impact on the population as a whole," he said."

http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article2186517.ece

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:18 AM
"The mountain gorillas are extremely vulnerable and the death of only a handful could have a significant impact on the population as a whole," he said."

Exactly. The death of a handful of gorillas will have a significant impact on the world population as a whole. What he means by that is that if a handful of gorillas die, the population of every other species (except badgers) in the world will increase because their biggest threat (except badgers) will have been neutralized.

amyzzz
01-31-2007, 10:24 AM
ooo, I voted Grizzly and tied it.

bballarl
01-31-2007, 10:24 AM
I'm all about gorillas.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 10:25 AM
Gabe, the bear was playing with her. He wasn't even attacking her. Here's this little thing BICYCLE kicking him over and over and he's getting a laugh out of it. And then some douche had to come out and pack four bullets into him before he died. Bullet one, two, and three weren't enough. And this was for a bear who was just chillin. Imagine if he were enraged.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 10:26 AM
[QUOTE=schoolofruckus;27453]Exactly. The death of a handful of gorillas will have a significant impact on the world population as a whole. [QUOTE]

it will have a significant impact on:

- about 400 kittens ( i think there are only 400 silverbacks left right ?) these kittens will remain lonely and probably will be euthanized

- at least 1200 Congo rebels' dinners. I figured that a silverback doesn't have much meat on him, so it'd probably only feed 3 rebels per gorilla. Then i took 3 times the # of remaining silverback gorillas

adamnikyo
01-31-2007, 10:27 AM
your post (#11) is no longer valid. please delete.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 10:38 AM
http://animaltrial.com/animals/grizzlybearpictures/madgrizzlybear.jpeg

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:40 AM
Bug, you really should stick to being a football pundit. When conversations leave the realm of "fun and games" and veer headfirst into "REAL MUTHAFUCKIN' LIFE, SON!" territory, you are clearly out of your element.

mozabilly54
01-31-2007, 10:45 AM
why is this a sticky at the top?

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 10:47 AM
all i know is i have never once heard of any Congo rebels eating Grizzly Bears in Canada, Alaska or Montana

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:49 AM
Right, and I've never heard of any gorillas letting a pint-sized Alaskan woman toss them around like a rag doll.

kaeso
01-31-2007, 10:50 AM
- at least 1200 Congo rebels' dinners. I figured that a silverback doesn't have much meat on him, so it'd probably only feed 3 rebels per gorilla. Then i took 3 times the # of remaining silverback gorillas

A silverback gorilla weighs around 400 lbs with a lot of dense muscle, I think it could tide over more than three rebels, especially if it was rationed.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 10:50 AM
Right, and I've never heard of any gorillas letting a pint-sized Alaskan woman toss them around like a rag doll.


and your article was about Polar Bears

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:52 AM
And polar bears are close enough to grizzlies that they can breed. Not to mention, I've read more than one article that states that polar bears are, in fact, bigger and more dangerous than grizzly bears ('scuse me while I find this link).

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 10:57 AM
Check it. (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/polar-bears_2.html)


According to Paetkau, the genetics expert, grizzly and polar bears are the most closely related of the living bear species.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 11:07 AM
why is this a sticky at the top?if you stick around here after coachella, you'll see this is a very important topic to this particular group of people.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 11:08 AM
if grizzlies were polar bears they'd be spelled the same

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 11:19 AM
If grizzlies were dangerous, they'd be spelled "G-O-R-I-L-L-A-S".

Also, let the record show that you have 3 unconfirmed voters as of now, while we only have one. Bitchfaces.

Actually - 4. You have 4 people who we don't know are real or fake. Four confirmed voters, and four questionable votes. Hmmm....

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 11:33 AM
If grizzlies were dangerous, they'd be spelled "G-O-R-I-L-L-A-S".

Also, let the record show that you have 3 unconfirmed voters as of now, while we only have one. Bitchfaces.

Actually - 4. You have 4 people who we don't know are real or fake. Four confirmed voters, and four questionable votes. Hmmm....

Dude, these are the average joes...the ones who haven't invested years of keystrokes and reputation on this topic. They are just responding out of common sense.

PS - Props for remembering the badgers.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 11:38 AM
Dude, these are the average joes

Average joes? As in, guys in the flyover states who voted "Pirates of the Caribbean" the best movie of the year in the People's Choice awards?

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 11:39 AM
Two other things to point out about the votes:

1 - Brad hasn't voted yet, so add one more for the bear.
2 - One of the bear voter's names is "BonerMalone." That right there says "badass mother fucker." More cred for the Grizzlies.

While genetically, polar and grizzlies might be similar...there is no discussion about temperment. Grizzlies have 10x the ferocity of a polar bear. Dr. Momotaro, a renowned gorilla propogandist, shredded the test results that proved this after infiltrating the objective and neutral Johns Hopkins University which was preparing a significant and definitive study on animal ferocity. According to my sources, gorillas were just below butterflies on the FM (Ferocity Meter).

downingthief
01-31-2007, 11:42 AM
School, thanks for bringing back the best thread ever from the old board! And, it's the gorilla peoples.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 11:49 AM
this isn't much of a thread, it's more of a "duh"

codytwo
01-31-2007, 11:55 AM
Grizzly Bears are considered less dangerous than Polar Bears only because of proximity to human populations. Polar Bears are known to be among the only animals who HUNT humans for food. They have lived for centuries in close proximity to humans in an area with a relative lack of food. Grizzlies, on the other hand, generally live in relative isolation, and and individual grizzly may never see a human in its entire life. That is why they are less likely to attack people, unless threatened. Predators generally keep to a very strict diet of the food they are familiar with in order to avoid toxicity issues, unexpected defense mechanisms, etc. But make no bones about it: if a gorilla stepped to a grizzly, the Grizzly would cold cock the bitch, no questions asked. Rawr, mother fucker.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 12:03 PM
While genetically, polar and grizzlies might be similar...there is no discussion about temperment. Grizzlies have 10x the ferocity of a polar bear. Dr. Momotaro, a renowned gorilla propogandist, shredded the test results that proved this after infiltrating the objective and neutral Johns Hopkins University which was preparing a significant and definitive study on animal ferocity. According to my sources, gorillas were just below butterflies on the FM (Ferocity Meter).

Momotaro was a saint, you blasphemous blasphemer. He destroyed the report because he knew it was faulty and he didn't want his lower-capacity disciples using it in the argument. You see, the Ferocity Meter was written by a Romanian scientist named Lazarescu. He called it the Ferocity Meter, but what few people know is, "Ferocity" is the title of a Romanian folk haiku that goes like this:

Ferocity means
"You are hella weak and lame"
in Romanian

So, you see, Dr. Lazarescu (though I shudder to call him "Doctor"), Johns Hopkins' prized scholar, was really trying to determine which animal was the biggest poonani. And yes, he determined that the Grizzly bear sits atop that mountain.

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 12:11 PM
Poonani mountain.

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 12:12 PM
Grizzlies, on the other hand, generally live in relative isolation, and and individual grizzly may never see a human in its entire life. That is why they are less likely to attack people, unless threatened.

Say WHAT mother fucker?

RandyinPhila
01-31-2007, 12:17 PM
If grizzlies were dangerous, they'd be spelled "G-O-R-I-L-L-A-S".

Also, let the record show that you have 3 unconfirmed voters as of now, while we only have one. Bitchfaces.

Actually - 4. You have 4 people who we don't know are real or fake. Four confirmed voters, and four questionable votes. Hmmm....

I voted for the Grizzlies mainly because Gorillas eat: (from wikipedia for good or ill)
Eating fruits, leaves, shoots, and sometimes insects which make up only 1-2% of their diet.

While Grizzlies eat: (Again from wikipedia, though admittedly more edited)
The larger bears have been known to prey on large mammals such as moose, deer, sheep, and caribou. Grizzly bears will feed on fish such as salmon, trout, and bass.

So you gorilla people go have some leaves while the grizzlies will have some caribou steaks!

Oh and I’m Randy From Philadelphia (surprise) Went in 05 and going again this year, been reading the forum since 05 and decided to join in the fun.

bug on your lip
01-31-2007, 12:20 PM
i just raised the roof 4 Randy

RandyinPhila
01-31-2007, 12:21 PM
Thanks!

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 12:32 PM
Step in the silverbacks domain and it will tear you apart, be a lame caripoo or a bitchass grizzly. The gorilla would only kill the grizzly and not dine on grizzlys fatty flesh, this is because it does not eat shit.

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 12:34 PM
You don't belong in the Rocky Mountains.

Get thee to Palm Springs.

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 12:38 PM
I just speak the truth.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 12:46 PM
RandyinPhila is a BUM! Man, dat guy don't know NUTTIN'! He STINKS!

Just sayin'.

RandyinPhila
01-31-2007, 12:51 PM
RandyinPhila is a BUM! Man, dat guy don't know NUTTIN'! He STINKS!

Just sayin'.

Nah, that’s just the smell of weakling little gorillas cowering in fear and peeing them selves at the thought of a grizzlies walking in their territory!

RandyinPhila
01-31-2007, 01:00 PM
So can we campaign for our side in the other threads? You know say something like "Vote for Grizzlies and you might win a free rage backstage pass” just wondering...:rotfl

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 01:05 PM
Sure. When a Gorilla who likes Rage Against the Machine turncoats and then finds out that there was no backstage pass to be found, it's your skull that's going in the butter churner.....of fists.

Also, your argument is flawed because the contest isn't about who would eat who; it's about who would beat the shit out of who. The gorilla can still kick ass even though its largely vegetarian.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 01:07 PM
yawn.. bears are way way bigger and more violent and can do a lot more damage than a toothpick gorilla.

amyzzz
01-31-2007, 01:11 PM
I would think a bear would be more motivated to kick the shitty out of a gorilla since it would have a meal at the end of the fight. Just sayin.

downingthief
01-31-2007, 01:13 PM
The bear would make a lovely rug. Brown would go perfectly in the rainforest.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 01:15 PM
The gorilla can still kick ass even though its largely vegetarian.yeah it's gotta be hard beating up insects all day.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 01:16 PM
and wow my comment doesn't even make sense after quoting gabe. oh well, it sounds good.

amyzzz
01-31-2007, 01:23 PM
Beating up vegetation must be real hard too.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 01:25 PM
thats what im sayin

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 01:27 PM
I'm sorry, is someone talking in here?

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 01:30 PM
Eating fruits, leaves, shoots, and sometimes insects which make up only 1-2% of their diet.


only 1-2% of their diet.

So what is the other 98-99% ?

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 01:31 PM
So what is the other 98-99% ?

chex mix.

adamnikyo
01-31-2007, 01:35 PM
i'm a vegetarian and i'll fuck you up.
especially if you're a girl.

Jenniehoo
01-31-2007, 01:37 PM
Dammit Adam.

I like how you can see who voted on which side now. We can see that the bear is supported by users with names like "Boner Malone" and "Bonedaddy".

Just sayin'.

JustSteve
01-31-2007, 01:40 PM
I think this guy is the most dangerous...

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d101/npastula/you-gonna-get-raped.jpg

Jenniehoo
01-31-2007, 01:43 PM
I hate that guy.

CuervoPH
01-31-2007, 01:54 PM
I would think a bear would be more motivated to kick the shitty out of a gorilla since it would have a meal at the end of the fight

That being said, if I were a gorilla and a punkass bitch grizzly was trying to kick the shit out of me, I could find sufficient motivation to fight back and rip the fucker to shreds.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 02:02 PM
http://en.allexperts.com/

Question
If a bear and a gorilla had a fight who would win and why?

Answer

Thanks for your question. Please note that you haven't specified the kind of bear, so I have used information from an earlier question, where somebody wanted to know which animal would win in a fight between a gorilla and a grizzly bear.

Please note that grizzly bears and gorillas have reputations for ferocity, but these are probably exaggerated. This is especially true for gorillas, which are far more peaceful than the ‘King Kong' image suggests. In fact, chimpanzees are far more dangerous and will kill each other, as well as hunting in groups and tearing monkeys and antelopes apart.

Gorillas live in Africa, while grizzly bears live in North America, so there is no likelihood of them coming into contact with one another in the wild, unless one of them were introduced into the habitat of the other.

They also live in different habitats. Most gorillas inhabit lowland tropical rainforest, but some live in bamboo forest and montane rainforest. The grizzly bear prefers open habitats, such as tundra, alpine meadows and coastlines. This means that a gorilla would not adapt well to the bear's habitat and the bear would not adapt well to the gorilla's habitat.

I think that if they ever came into contact, they would avoid one another. Grizzly bears rarely attack people and prefer to avoid confrontation. A male gorilla will go through various threat displays and will avoid fighting if he can. If anything, I think the gorilla would back down if the bear did not move away and I can't really imagine a bear being put off by a gorilla chest-beating or hooting. A gorilla will usually only attack if an aggressor runs away. It will back down if the aggressor stays where it is. I can't really see the grizzly turning tail.

I think a fight would be very unlikely, but if they were to fight, I believe that the bear holds most of the trump cards. If the gorilla and grizzly are the same size, it would involve a full-grown male gorilla fighting a rather small grizzly bear. This will benefit the gorilla more than if there were two full-grown animals fighting, as the bear would be heavier.

The gorilla is mainly vegetarian and rarely feeds on animal matter, whereas a grizzly can kill a moose with one swipe of its paw. The bear has the advantage here.

The gorilla's ferocity is a bluff to deter potential adversaries. The bear is being genuinely ferocious and has the advantage here, as it is less likely to back down.

Both have powerful canine teeth and use these mainly in threat displays. The bear is more likely to use the canines to bite and kill prey, while gorillas are practically herbivorous. The bear has the advantage here.

Both have powerful upper limbs, but the bear has long claws, whereas the gorilla has nails. Once again, the bear has the advantage to the bear.

The gorilla is more intelligent than the bear, but the gorilla has more facial expressions. Bear keepers say that it is very difficult to read a bear's mind, because of the lack of facial expression. I don't think the gorilla would be able to either, so I don't think the gorilla's intelligence would be much of an advantage here.

Perhaps the only advantage to a gorilla and bear in a one-on-one situation is habitat. The bear would have the advantage in a clearing, but the gorilla would have the advantage if it ran into a rainforest or montane forest and the bear followed. I can't really imagine a bear chasing a gorilla into a forest or other gorillas fighting the bear – I presume you want a one-on-one fight. Chimpanzees can band together to kill leopards, but I haven't heard cases of gorillas doing so.

But, as I stated earlier, I don't think a fight would be likely, especially as one of the animals would be rather disorientated in a strange habitat. It is also unusual for individuals of different species to fight one another. The nearest is when a predator is attacking a prey animal. As bears do not prey on gorillas, this is not a natural phenomenon.

I hope the above scenario does not occur. I don't like the idea of people gaining enjoyment by watching animals fight one another. I hope that your argument is more of a speculative nature, rather than a desire to see animals fighting to the death. Gorillas are becoming increasingly threatened by deforestation and hunting for bushmeat and trophies, while various types of grizzly bear are also threatened. The Mexican grizzly bear is extinct, while other varieties have been classified as threatened under the US Endangered Species Act. Having grizzly bears and gorillas fighting one another is not a good idea.

Fights between a gorilla and another species of bear are speculative. With a polar bear, if the fight occurred in the Arctic or in water, the bear would win. If it occurred in a tropical African forest, I think the gorilla would win. I think a gorilla would probably fear well against a spectacled bear or sun bear, but would be fairly evenly matched against an Asiatic black bear, American black bear or sloth bear.

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 02:05 PM
I hope the above scenario does not occur. I don't like the idea of people gaining enjoyment by watching animals fight one another. I hope that your argument is more of a speculative nature, rather than a desire to see animals fighting to the death.

He must have a time share on Poonani Mountain.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 02:06 PM
Wow. I haven't seen that much hemming and hawing since the last Presidential debate.

Some "expert". Anyone who claims to be one should answer the question with some conviction. Even if he were going to pick the wrong answer (in this case, grizzly bear), he should be more condescending and more to the point. He should also punch you in the face at the end of his answer, for having the insolence to ask such a base-level question.

CuervoPH
01-31-2007, 02:09 PM
Please note that you haven't specified the kind of bear, so I have used information from an earlier question, where somebody wanted to know which animal would win in a fight between a gorilla and a grizzly bear.


HAHAHA!!!


Having grizzly bears and gorillas fighting one another is not a good idea.


Um....duh??? Well, there goes the surprise for the Sahara tent on Friday night...

edit: dammit. let me post this thing. I deleted it accidentally. I know it's a duplicate of a post I already made!!!

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 02:31 PM
I'm currently listening to the song "Colardo" by Grizzly Bear. They are singing, "ooohhh....oooooh.....colorado....mmmmmmdoughnuts.. .colorado....colardo....mmmmmdoughuts is dumb."
Weird.

Anyway, trey...man...dude...I pegged you for grizzly. You're a smart, sensible guy with excellent taste in music. How much did Schoolio bribe you?

amyzzz
01-31-2007, 02:32 PM
I like how the expert lists scenarios with all different types of bears. That's awesome. We have spectacled bears at the Phoenix Zoo, and they are pretty small as far as bears go.

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 02:38 PM
gorilla supporters react to objective and logical viewpoints much like RATM or Tool fans do. They insist upon their irrational notion in the face of any and all arguments however sound. They often even assert that others are simply incapable of the level of understanding they've achieved.

It's kind of cute really.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 02:45 PM
http://web.ivenue.com/rosestogoflorist/images/9gorillawletter.JPG

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 02:47 PM
No one ever claimed that it was above anyone's head to realize that a gorilla would reign supreme in this battle. What we've asserted time and again is that your heads are clearly below the argument. There's a subtle difference.

Next time a RATM or Tool fan (besides myself, of course) breaks out the "Romanian folk haiku" line of defense, be sure to let me know.

Also, keep in mind the old adage: "WWKROQKD?"

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 02:50 PM
No one ever claimed that it was above anyone's head to realize that a gorilla would reign supreme in this battle. What we've asserted time and again is that your heads are clearly below the argument. There's a subtle difference.


adorable.

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 02:53 PM
http://www.customermotivators.com/Care%20Bears.jpg

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 02:55 PM
http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/gorilla1.jpg

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 02:55 PM
An umbrella soaked in blood....that sounds about right.

full on idle
01-31-2007, 03:01 PM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/gorilla.jpg

full on idle
01-31-2007, 03:06 PM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/bear.jpg

full on idle
01-31-2007, 03:07 PM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/omgonoz.gif

full on idle
01-31-2007, 03:10 PM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/GORILLA2.gif

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 03:21 PM
http://www.therecord.com/graphics/links/678568-156223.jpg

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 03:21 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/hawkingvsreeve/gorillaroad.jpg

JustSteve
01-31-2007, 03:21 PM
i tried to go on google images and type in "gay gorilla" and this pic came up...not sure what to make of it?!

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/jfiles/files/img/damon_albarn.jpg
damon albarn

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 03:22 PM
Re: Dani's photo

That's a pretty mean camel-toe, if you ask me.

http://www.therecord.com/graphics/links/678568-156223.jpg

Madden time:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b126/schoolofruckus/grizzlycameltoe.jpg

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 03:28 PM
Expertise: I can answer questions about wild mammals, as well as other wild animals. I can also answer questions on extinct animals and zoos. I cannot give advice on veterinary problems.

Experience in the area
I have a zoology degree and have been interested in animals since I was two years old. I am a zoo volunteer at London Zoo. I have appeared on a BBC Radio Quiz, 'Wildbrain'.

Organizations
World Wide Fund for Nature. Zoological Society of London. London Bat Group.

Publications
Newsletters of London Zoo volunteers and the London Bat Group

Education/Credentials
BSC degree in Zoology. 'A' levels in Zoology and Chemistry. 'O' Level in Biology.


He is full of shit, clearly his "expertise" is bats and jerkinoff, jerkinoff to bats.

Yablo Grizzly Bear is just some crappy band from Brooklyn, they know nothing about "Colorado".

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 03:34 PM
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k177/putri_ellys/winnie20.gif

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 03:35 PM
http://www.berenstainbears.com/images/welcome_portrait.jpg

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 03:35 PM
http://uplink.space.com/attachments/177905-bush_monkey.jpg

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 03:38 PM
http://www.idmp.co.uk/cartoon/gorilla.jpg

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 03:39 PM
"Dani, that's ignorant. You're being ignorant."

http://animatedtv.about.com/library/graphics/sp807_The_Jeffersons.jpg

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 03:42 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e299/PF55/bear.gif

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 03:44 PM
http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g214/medicman503/you_is_fine.gif

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 03:50 PM
You know, it's always troubled me why so many people on the Coachella board - which, line-up thread trolls notwithstanding, is generally a more intelligent cross-section of webgoers than just about any other place on the internet - would be all about the bears. It used to be like Chewbacca living on Endor.

BUT NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_community)

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 03:53 PM
Damn, there's some funny shit in this thread. I'd point out Brandon's pic, but I don't want to give creedence to retarded theories.

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 03:55 PM
You know, it's always troubled me why so many people on the Coachella board - which, line-up thread trolls notwithstanding, is generally a more intelligent cross-section of webgoers than just about any other place on the internet - would be all about the bears. It used to be like Chewbacca living on Endor.

BUT NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_community)

Gabe - those dudes would massacre a gorilla.

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 03:55 PM
8MYWO8ak8h4

Apathetic00
01-31-2007, 03:55 PM
http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/8528/bearcavalry0gz.jpg

schoolofruckus
01-31-2007, 03:59 PM
Apathetic, this is not Nam. There are rules. MARK IT ZERO!

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 04:00 PM
SnjU1GKuNdI

what a pussy.

tessalasset
01-31-2007, 04:09 PM
No Videos found for 'gorilla eating throw up'dammit

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 04:09 PM
Music

* Minnesota indie rock band Lifter Puller, on their album Half Dead and Dynamite, wrote a song called "The Bears". It features lyrics such as "your kisses taste just like Skoal Bandits".

amyzzz
01-31-2007, 04:12 PM
Has anyone read those Philip Pullman books (The Golden Compass, etc) with the crazy bears Panzer Bjorn? Those would rip the gorillas to shreds. APPARENTLY, there is a move trilogy in the works on this. Those bears have ARMOR.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 04:13 PM
http://www.african-safari-journals.com/image-files/gorilla-photos.jpg

hawkingvsreeve
01-31-2007, 04:13 PM
dammit

I believe that was a chimp. Or maybe it was a chimp that drank his own piss.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 04:29 PM
http://www.nba.com/suns/images/gorilla_circus.jpg wow i'm scared.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 04:47 PM
oh0OGko3TjA

ya, scary. Bears don't do this.

Alchemy
01-31-2007, 04:50 PM
http://www.7522.com/vendor/2264/2527-2264-big.jpg


If she can do it,
a Silverback Gorilla can do it 80 times in 3 minutes!

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 04:51 PM
she was mad because the bear did this:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/09/photogalleries/bushmeat_2/images/primary/P133.jpg

CuervoPH
01-31-2007, 05:02 PM
Anyway, trey...man...dude...I pegged you for grizzly. You're a smart, sensible guy with excellent taste in music. How much did Schoolio bribe you?


See? Here's the way I see it: We're talking silverback gorillas here. We're not talking about the Koko gentle, communicating with her hands, slightly more attractive than Rosie O'Donnell gorilla. We're talking about the silverback gorillas here who are pissed at their more domesticated, peaceful brethren giving them a bad name. They are itching for a fight by now and if you want to send a grizzly bear in to do the job, go ahead, but you might as well send a kitten to stop a freight train.

(Oh yeah, and with all the qualities you mention above, I still also cheer for the Flyers, but if this season continues the way it's going, I'll probably seek help for that.)

By the way, we should catch Crowded House either before or after their set and see how Neil and Tim answer this question.

york707
01-31-2007, 05:24 PM
Deal with it.

JelloPuddingChat
01-31-2007, 06:04 PM
tyOMBNaP9ew

PotVsKtl
01-31-2007, 06:14 PM
_Ez5QPW-ku4

PotVsKtl
01-31-2007, 06:15 PM
HE MADE IT UP THAT TREE

Yablonowitz
01-31-2007, 09:16 PM
You can not be ferocious and eat your own shit in front of zoo patrons. Those two don't mix. Dani's video seals the deal.

bmack86
01-31-2007, 09:16 PM
That rabbit would kick any Gorilla's ass.

O, and Gabe, I saw one of those Bears at Coachella last year. He was indeed big and hairy, and had a shirt on that said "National Bear Conference, Half Moon Bay" and had a picture of two guys holding hands riding motorcycles into the distance.

psychic friend
01-31-2007, 09:33 PM
first rule of "National Bear Conference, Half Moon Bay" is you don't talk about "National Bear Conference, Half Moon Bay" . i don't know you.

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 10:06 PM
I would eat my own shit too, plead the deal ..........thats clever shit right there...........plead insanity. Its a get out of jail free card.

J~$$$
01-31-2007, 10:14 PM
Ets0xkUk17Y

he voted grizzly...knock knock whos there itty bitty boobies.....sex

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 11:02 PM
ukJmF6f0JdQ

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 11:09 PM
ask these folks which one they'd rather be attacked by.

1HliElg80mM

jackstraw94086
01-31-2007, 11:17 PM
szSmlZGxPUo
7RE4OaIy8H0

comiddle
02-01-2007, 04:21 AM
Gorillas just let people walk into their home and make a mess of the place, whereas the bear would eat any mofo who doesn't remove their shoes at the door.

Grizzly hands down.
Bear:680kg (top), claws + teeth
Gorilla: 270kg (top), teeth + thumbs
Plus, the bear has the whole "killing things to survive" advantage and would not only kick the gorillas ass, but then it'd tell the bitch to get back out there and finish the gardening.

eric m
02-01-2007, 05:18 AM
GRIZZLIES FTW!!!!

RandyinPhila
02-01-2007, 06:00 AM
Just Got to work and this thread has made my morning! And to wake up to find the Grizzlies beating the piss out of the Gorillas, oh and my tickets just arrived! It is a glorious day!

RandyinPhila
02-01-2007, 06:01 AM
Has anyone read those Philip Pullman books (The Golden Compass, etc) with the crazy bears Panzer Bjorn? Those would rip the gorillas to shreds. APPARENTLY, there is a move trilogy in the works on this. Those bears have ARMOR.

I had forgotten about those, big armor and steel tipped claws right? That series would make a wierd movie.

dorkfish
02-01-2007, 07:08 AM
Everytime you vote for the gorilla, I literally vomit upon your ignorance.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 07:25 AM
Gorilla by a landslide....

just think - they are way more agile than a bear...i'd envision something like this:

bear lunges
gorilla dodges, jumps on bear's back
snaps bear's neck with massive/powerful hands
gorilla makes rug

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 07:30 AM
Bartleby, you are 100% correct. That is exactly how it would go down.

Just try not to get frustrated when these simpletons come back with shit like "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CLAWS!" and "IT'S GOT BIG, NASTY, POINTY TEETH!" and "BEARS ARE BIG SO THEY WIN" and "IAM SAM!". The smart ones among us have been hearing this drivel for (literally) years now.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 07:38 AM
They're all just part of the bear lobby or something.

Claws, shmaws...the Gorilla can handle losing a bit of blood...besides, scars look cool...

downingthief
02-01-2007, 07:55 AM
How could anyone bet against this?

bug on your lip
02-01-2007, 08:03 AM
http://re3.mm-a4.yimg.com/image/2929008916.jpg

amdux
02-01-2007, 08:12 AM
http://www.masurel.com/membres/vianney/images/baby_gorilla.jpg

all this guy saw was the word "Grizzly"

downingthief
02-01-2007, 08:14 AM
Right back at ya

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 08:23 AM
Gorillas just let people walk into their home and make a mess of the place, whereas the bear would eat any mofo who doesn't remove their shoes at the door.

Grizzly hands down.
Bear:680kg (top), claws + teeth
Gorilla: 270kg (top), teeth + thumbs
Plus, the bear has the whole "killing things to survive" advantage and would not only kick the gorillas ass, but then it'd tell the bitch to get back out there and finish the gardening.

Or eating its vomit/shit for public amusement. 'omiddle - welcome brother. With you and 'oner 'alone added to our army, we are laying this ridiculous contest to rest.

hawkingvsreeve
02-01-2007, 08:28 AM
http://samco.j.home.mchsi.com/12-05_Connors-1st-birthday_cake-Sam-bear-head.jpg

hawkingvsreeve
02-01-2007, 08:30 AM
http://www.lyonpuppets.com/BearTeam.gif

hawkingvsreeve
02-01-2007, 08:47 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/hawkingvsreeve/gorillagreg.jpg

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 09:08 AM
You ready for war, bitch?

hawkingvsreeve
02-01-2007, 09:24 AM
I've already got boots on the ground.


http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/gorilla.jpg

bartelby
02-01-2007, 09:28 AM
Bears are going down...

(note: not the Chicago Bears though. They will thoroughly thrash the pipsqueaks from Indyeraloserpolis.)

comiddle
02-01-2007, 10:02 AM
http://samco.j.home.mchsi.com/12-05_Connors-1st-birthday_cake-Sam-bear-head.jpg

My mom made me a cake like this once. It was rad. Do you know why she made me a bear cake? Because she saw the future, and it is Grizzly.

Lamedar
02-01-2007, 10:05 AM
This thread is a great example of sexual frustration.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 10:47 AM
Grizzly Bear
All That I Am, amdux, amyzzz, Apathetic00, bmack86, BoneDaddy, BonerMalone, codytwo, comiddle, dorkfish, eric m, fatbastard, gaypalmsprings, Genedefekt, HowToDisappear, hydrobomb, jackstraw94086, JClemy, JelloPuddingChat, JohnJohnIII, JustSteve, keriann, Mabdul Doobakus, mountmccabe, psychic friend, RandyinPhila, semisonic, shmamber, tessalasset, thefunkylama, vinylmartyr, Yablonowitz, york707

Bryan!? Noooo. Are you kidding me? You were a gorilla man on the old board! Weren't you???? And if not, why God why??

You make me sad.

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 10:49 AM
I'm not surprised in the least. 'ryan's got smarts.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 10:51 AM
This message is hidden because Yablonowitz is on your ignore list.

I'm sorry, I couldn't read that. Somebody tell me what he just said.

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 10:57 AM
I said that it's about time you confess to your girlfriend that you were the one who brought AIDS to the human race after you assraped a silverback gorilla that loved every minute of it.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 11:06 AM
I said that it's about time you confess to your girlfriend that you were the one who brought AIDS to the human race after you assraped a silverback gorilla that loved every minute of it.

I gave AIDS to the human race by having consensual (if unpleasant) sodomy with a gorilla?


Correct me if I'm wrong, as this is not my forte (and since you are a BEAR, in the GLBT sense of the word, you should probably know this) - but isn't AIDS only transmitted from pitcher to catcher, and not the other way around?

bartelby
02-01-2007, 11:58 AM
a Silverback would kick a lion's ass too

keriann
02-01-2007, 12:06 PM
Did grizzly own this hard before? You guys must be kind of embarrassed.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 12:09 PM
puhlease. They didn't even bother bringing the gorillas over to California when they were in Africa getting the Lions? Why not? Because it wouldn't even be worth betting on. The Grizzly would dominate.

pshaw...

They didn't bring them over cause there wasn't a boat at the time that could hold a Silverback....

How much is the bear lobby paying you to say such ridiculous things?

downingthief
02-01-2007, 12:17 PM
Some food for thought you monkey people, you don't wanna mess with a grizzly. The lions know this.

http://www.lairweb.org.nz/tiger/conflict13.html

"Grizzly bear pit fights:
The Californians of the late 19th century staged well-documented pit fights with grizzlies and spanish bulls. The grizzlies, using their paw as a club, shattered the unfortunate bull's skull or shoulder bones so easily that the betting became poor.

Eventually, and at considerable cost, African lions were brought in to raise the stakes. The most fierce of the adult males was sent in whilst the grizzly was already waiting in the pits. The lion was known for bravely charging straight in and looked good for the money, but the grizzly killed a male lion almost as easily as he'd killed the bull."

REALLY not a fair fight with the lion, when you figure the Grizzly is probably about double the weight/size. And, the lion will try to go for the jugular, where as the Gorilla would use its hands (opposable thumbs, baby!) to use whatever it can to defeat the bear. It comes down to simple evolution, kids. Over 95% of a Gorilla's DNA is similar to humans. And, who's the dominate species on the planet? Comes down to brains in this one, not brawn. Gorilla wins.

amyzzz
02-01-2007, 12:18 PM
your post (#11) is no longer valid. please delete.
Post 15 is no longer valid. Delete that.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 12:27 PM
You're all insane. Except bartleby - he knows his shitty.

Keriann, the bears didn't "own" the last poll at all. They lost. Just because all my soldiers are out in the field and haven't voted yet doesn't mean you can claim victory just yet.

Ooooh, a bear beats up on a weak-ass spanish bull - known the world over as more of a lover than a fighter. I'm shaking in my boots. How many people die during the running of the bulls each year - a handful? Let me just put it to you this way: they tried to do a "running of the gorillas" one year in Germany. That year was 1938. You figure it out.

tessalasset
02-01-2007, 12:36 PM
AbSU3i8xfe8


YEOW

TomAz
02-01-2007, 12:40 PM
ugh. the ending of that made me sick.

Boourns
02-01-2007, 12:43 PM
Bear is to regular gorilla what t-rex is to King Kong. And King Kong totally pwned 3 t-rexes, so a gorilla could easily kill three grizzly bears.

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 12:45 PM
that's retarded

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 12:50 PM
Gabe - you assraped the gorilla...the gorilla liked the assraping and you willingly let it assrape you back. Do I have to describe the whole incident? I don't even want to bring up the '96 Shit and Puke Eating Olympics (S&PEO) you two engaged in for two weeks.

J~$$$
02-01-2007, 12:54 PM
ugh. the ending of that made me sick.


Grizzly camp.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 01:01 PM
They shoulda had a Gorilla at that bullfight - he would've controlled that bull.

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 01:14 PM
Also, here's the rest of that section that was posted earlier. I believe it's relevant to the argument:


The Californians never understood why. We now know that it was enormously strong bone density meeting a low density skull. At a range of 4 feet the blow crashed in before the lion could apply the wind pipe lock, which is lion and tiger learnt behaviour for taking down prey animals.

It kind of backs up Dani's "One swipe and you're out" rationale. How dense is a gorilla's skull?

bartelby
02-01-2007, 01:19 PM
Dense enough....

Besides the great silverback would be too quick for a bear to even get a paw on him...

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 01:23 PM
so he would run away? that's not an option. the bear will win. much much much bigger and stronger, the claws will slice through that monkey like butter.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 01:25 PM
No running, just dodging and snapping (the bear's neck that is)

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 01:27 PM
im sure a toothpick can snap a tree trunk. mmm hmm

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 01:28 PM
More from that page:


The polar bear:

There is obviously no way tigers and polar bears can conflict, however comments regarding the grizzly usually lead to inevitable questions about the power of the polar bear.

The polar bear is a larger, but less robust creature than other bears.

Compared to the grizzly, it has a thinner, longer and more delicate skull, along with narrower forequarters. This streamlining is an adaptation for an aquatic life style.

The grizzly has a shorter, thicker neck, heavily built skull and more powerful shoulder structure. Despite being a good foot shorter, the grizzly has a trump card.

Their claws, having evolved as digging tools, are also unmatched at opening body carcasses. Claws of 6" aren't uncommon (9" record) while the polar bear has small hook-like 2" claws.

Sometimes, when the ice melts, polar bears have been known to be driven off by grizzlies, when they move south into the grizzlies feeding area. A grizzly will defend his barren ground patches jealously as he races to pile on enough fat for the end of summer denning.

So, huge claws are a factor as well. If we go by this, then the polar bear = grizzly bear argument is also thrown in question, if not out entirely.

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 01:38 PM
And polar bears are close enough to grizzlies that they can breed. Not to mention, I've read more than one article that states that polar bears are, in fact, bigger and more dangerous than grizzly bears ('scuse me while I find this link).

You are referring to the "Pizzly" bear (as mentioned on the Colbert Report).

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 01:49 PM
Doesn't Colbert hate bears?

J~$$$
02-01-2007, 02:05 PM
who doesn't?

dorkfish
02-01-2007, 02:10 PM
The following people support terrorism and lies:

adamnikyo, Alchemy, bartelby, bballarl, Boourns, cbrl23, CuervoPH, downingthief, farmer dan, fortydollarsworthofmeat, foto_synthesis, full on idle, GAMBLAHOLIC, hawkingvsreeve, Jenniehoo, J~$$$, kcmama1234, kreutz2112, schoolofruckus, SometimesNJ, TheWatcher, thinnerair, Tylerdurden31

The following people walk through life wearing blinders:

adamnikyo, Alchemy, bartelby, bballarl, Boourns, cbrl23, CuervoPH, downingthief, farmer dan, fortydollarsworthofmeat, foto_synthesis, full on idle, GAMBLAHOLIC, hawkingvsreeve, Jenniehoo, J~$$$, kcmama1234, kreutz2112, schoolofruckus, SometimesNJ, TheWatcher, thinnerair, Tylerdurden31

The following people just don't get it...do they...

adamnikyo, Alchemy, bartelby, bballarl, Boourns, cbrl23, CuervoPH, downingthief, farmer dan, fortydollarsworthofmeat, foto_synthesis, full on idle, GAMBLAHOLIC, hawkingvsreeve, Jenniehoo, J~$$$, kcmama1234, kreutz2112, schoolofruckus, SometimesNJ, TheWatcher, thinnerair, Tylerdurden31

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 02:11 PM
I see you, J, also join Colbert in his fear of teddy bears. Unfortunate.

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 02:47 PM
BonerMalone, not only do I enjoy typing your name, you have officially "nailed" the Silverback crowd. Nice work.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 02:56 PM
Nailed shit. I wouldn't trust Colbert to tell me what time it is.

Not to mention, Colbert's long-documented homophobia is the source of his comments about bears. He's calling gays the destruction of all society. Do you really want to allign yourselves with that kind of thinking, in the year 2007?

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 03:23 PM
Gabe, BonerMalone just said it was easy to nail you. Comments?

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 03:25 PM
That's about what they're good for - laughs.

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 03:33 PM
I think a guy who names himself "Boner" anything must be overestimating his capacity for nailing. And I'm also not sure that it's not one of Yablo's many aliases.

None of you bastards have ever bought me dinner or so much as a drink (not even Yablo, who's two beers in the hole to me for over a year now), so you've got a long way to go before you get a piece of that hot Schoolio ass.

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 03:42 PM
If the current voting results were exit polling data, this race would be called. What an ass kicking you guys are getting. It sucks when you can't crank out the aliases, huh?

schoolofruckus
02-01-2007, 03:58 PM
If this were exit poll data, I would say "Youblownowitz, you're calling the race on behalf of the GOP, and we have yet to reach the West Coast".

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 04:54 PM
http://www.plushinarush.com/ProductImages/valentines/290V-Gorilla.jpg

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 04:54 PM
wooo http://www.clickhere.gr/pictures/images/pics/missgorilla.jpg

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 05:07 PM
Why did you post a picture of Serena Williams on here, PF?

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 05:19 PM
Ok, we don't need to cross the race line to get the point across.

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 05:48 PM
Dude, lama, I was not even playing the race card or crossing the race line. Jesus, people are getting so touchy around here.

mob roulette
02-01-2007, 05:58 PM
i'm seriously offended, nothingman. on behalf of gorillas everywhere, i'd like to say that's not right. serena williams is not a gorilla.

seriously though, not funny. when the LA riots were going on, i had this roommate who told a whole roomful of people that it looked like a bunch of monkeys throwing s hit around. it was in REALLY poor taste.

so we stabbed him.

but seriously though, not funny. don't do it again.

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 06:23 PM
Dude, I wasn't playing a race card...

I think Kelly Rippa looks like an alien. I think Sam Cassell looks like an alien. I think Simon Cowell looks like a gorilla. I think Serena Williams looks like a gorilla.

atom heart
02-01-2007, 06:26 PM
teeth claws vs teeth nails, somehow we've been over this one too many times. What about stamina? Gorillas eat mostly tough, fibrous leaves, twigs, and shoots. It takes a lot of energy to digest for not much energy output (hence the poo-noshing). Grizzly bears have the advantage of protein and also high energy foods such as berries and honey.

Are gorillas agile enough to avoid one swipe from a grizzly bear? If it is a neutral area than the gorilla has no trees to gain a height advantage on a grizzly to get a clean shot at the neck. Bulls are pretty stupid and would charge directly, and although gorillas are much more intelligent, I think a gorilla would be smart enough to stay out of this one.

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 06:27 PM
then there would be no fight, bear wins. and if the gorilla does fight, bear wins. BEARS > gorillas

thefunkylama
02-01-2007, 06:29 PM
Er... actually, I'm not being particularly touchy over it. But someone else might feel different. So... that's why I said that. I wouldn't actually attack a team mate. Let's keep it together, Bears.

GO GRIZZ!

Good Days Last
02-01-2007, 06:57 PM
I'd say Gorillas. They some smart mofugahs.

CuervoPH
02-01-2007, 07:04 PM
Let's keep it together, Bears.


Et tu, Alma? That hurts...it really does...but the gorilla team is here for you when you're ready. We can eat pie on a nice bearskin rug.

bartelby
02-01-2007, 07:11 PM
If this were exit poll data, I would say "Youblownowitz, you're calling the race on behalf of the GOP, and we have yet to reach the West Coast".

Good work Mr. fruckus...The snide, uneducated and animal-kingdom-ignorant Bear lobby on this thread needs some good Gorilla-style ass whoopin...

Gorillas are intelligent, powerful creatures...Bears are such sucky-wimpy-wimps that they have to sleep half the year away just to survive. PA-THE-TIC

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 07:11 PM
those who look at actual facts will pick grizzly, those who live in fantasy will pick gorillas.

mob roulette
02-01-2007, 07:58 PM
I was in the bear camp for the longest, but one must always consider not only the natural grace and speed of the silverback but also it's innate intelligence. i'd bet the first thing the gorilla would try to do is jump on the bear's back to bring it down. all he would have to do is try and keep away from the bear somewhat until it wears itself out. then once the teeth are in the neck, there's NO way the grizzly is prying him off. NO way.

jackstraw94086
02-01-2007, 08:01 PM
Gorillas are intelligent, powerful creatures...Bears are such sucky-wimpy-wimps that they have to sleep half the year away just to survive. PA-THE-TIC

I love how these yokels keep quoting the gorilla's intelligence, as if it's going craft some weaponry or plan and execute text book military tactics. It's a frickin animal which beats its fists when in a rage. It doesn't know Tae Kwan Do, Capoeira, or the Vulcan neck pinch. It hasn't read Sun Tzu's The Art of War. It hasn't studied Col. Chamberlain's maneuvers in the defense of Little Round Top at the Battle of Gettysburg. When it is interupted from its daily routine of eating, sleeping, shitting, and fucking it will just try to pound you.

on the subject of hibernation as evidence of the bear's fortitude. um.... k. Let's see if we can figure out why bears would hibernate and gorillas would not.... hmmmm.... could it be that mountain gorillas live on the frickin equator? There's no such thing as winter. Stick a gorilla in the Canadian wild in February. See how he fares.

mob roulette
02-01-2007, 08:58 PM
I love how these yokels keep quoting the gorilla's intelligence, as if it's going craft some weaponry or plan and execute text book military tactics. It's a frickin animal which beats its fists when in a rage.

That's exactly right. Smart AND ferocious, meaning that it won't give in, no matter how great a right hook that bear has initially. the gorilla's just not going to back down from a fight like this, it's just not in his nature. you ever see the remake of king kong? where kong takes down not one, not two, but THREE dinosaurs? i know it's just a movie, but it's the same exact principle. and then he breaks the jaw of the last one, snapping its head in TWO, mind you, smashing its nasal cavities directly into its brain. such would be the fate of grizzlies everywhere should they wish to tango, i feel.

psychic friend
02-01-2007, 09:39 PM
no matter how great a right hook that bear has initially. the gorilla's just not going to back down from a fight like this

of course not, cuz after one blow from a grizzly the gorilla would be dead. that little tiny ape would be dead.

nahuatldream
02-01-2007, 09:46 PM
da bears!

nothingman00
02-01-2007, 10:22 PM
One Grizzly against 2 silverback gorillas would be more of a fair fight.

jackstraw94086
02-01-2007, 10:51 PM
you ever see the remake of king kong? where kong takes down not one, not two, but THREE dinosaurs? i know it's just a movie, but it's the same exact principle.
you're making my head hurt.

You know what else I've seen in movies? talking fish, warp speed spacecraft, a luck dragon, four Michael Keatons, oompaloompas, proton packs, a thin drew barrymore, a golden snitch, and a hooker with three tits.

Don't mean dick.

Stop with the king kong, people.

Grizzlies don't need movie tricks.

Boourns
02-01-2007, 11:23 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/35/BerenstainBears.JPG

http://i9.ebayimg.com/07/i/000/87/71/f635_1.JPG

JelloPuddingChat
02-01-2007, 11:32 PM
Why would Teddy Ruxpin make bears look bad? Ruxpin rules.

Boourns
02-01-2007, 11:36 PM
His cuddly nature makes him the only bear with a chance of getting close enough to a gorilla to kill it, but he can't since he has no teeth or claws, so oh well for him.

amdux
02-01-2007, 11:43 PM
http://www.kensforce.com/sitebuilder/images/kzillaenter-669x610.jpg

America was wrong in their version of Godzilla vs. king kong, and if you believe a shit-eating gorilla has a chance against a killing machine covered in fur that can kill a 4,000 pound beast with a slap in the face, well, then you're wrong too

tessalasset
02-01-2007, 11:44 PM
dude teddy ruxpin scared me as a kid.

and it's awesome to see who actually voted for whom. we have such a strong bear alliance it's not even funny. it renews my faith in this board.

bmack86
02-02-2007, 12:09 AM
the bear shall win the day

bartelby
02-02-2007, 06:32 AM
on the subject of hibernation as evidence of the bear's fortitude. um.... k. Let's see if we can figure out why bears would hibernate and gorillas would not.... hmmmm.... could it be that mountain gorillas live on the frickin equator? There's no such thing as winter. Stick a gorilla in the Canadian wild in February. See how he fares.

The Gorilla would do fine in the Canadian tundra (from which I hail). Give him two days and he'd be in his own igloo keeping the cold away with some freshly acquired Bear pelts.

schoolofruckus
02-02-2007, 06:45 AM
Grizzlies don't need movie tricks.

They sure could use some. The only cinematic evidence of grizzly violence is "Grizzly Man", and if anything, that's a shot in your collective kneecaps. I mean, what kind of supposed world-beating killer beast lets a retard and his girlfriend spend 14 summers in their midst AND let him talk shit to them (he does this often to some of the supposedly "mean" bears in the pack) before finally taking him out? I wager none of you big, burly, bearded BEAR people would sit there and take 14 years of abuse, now would you?

I know I've already brought this point up before, but hell, if Dani can say the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until I want to blow my own head off without bringing even a shred of new insight to the discussion, then I guess I can repeat myself once in a while.

amdux
02-02-2007, 06:55 AM
did you not see the video of the tourists walking around in the gorilla's living room?

Yablonowitz
02-02-2007, 07:03 AM
They sure could use some. The only cinematic evidence of grizzly violence is "Grizzly Man", and if anything, that's a shot in your collective kneecaps. I mean, what kind of supposed world-beating killer beast lets a retard and his girlfriend spend 14 summers in their midst AND let him talk shit to them (he does this often to some of the supposedly "mean" bears in the pack) before finally taking him out? I wager none of you big, burly, bearded BEAR people would sit there and take 14 years of abuse, now would you?


I didn't see "Grizzly Man," I'll admit. But tell me, Gabe, did he ever get this close to a grizzly? Let alone three grizzlies? Do you think the grizzly would have let him put his arm around him and pat him on the head? I'm pretty sure there are several different wildlife biologists who have spent time with gorillas...have any of them been killed savagely by one?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v682/yablonowitz/fossey_dian.gif

bartelby
02-02-2007, 07:14 AM
Duh people - Gorillas and humans share DNA. We don't always agree but there's definitely a mutual respect.

We're natural allies against the world-wide scourge of bears.

Alchemy
02-02-2007, 07:31 AM
http://www.gorilla-nutrition.com/gornew.jpg

They sell products to gain the power of the Gorilla, because everybody knows it is the most powerful thing in the universe. Nobody wants Grizzly Bear power.

RandyinPhila
02-02-2007, 08:08 AM
[QUOTE=Alchemy;31231Nobody wants Grizzly Bear power.[/QUOTE]

Everybody wants Grizzly Bear power, but modern science has yet to be able to put all of it in a bottle for human consumption, Gorilla power is weak and full of fillers...:winkiss

amdux
02-02-2007, 08:09 AM
FDA Bans Grizzly Bear Supplement Due to Fatal Effect on Less Powerful Species

Associated Press
Friday, April 15, 2005; Page E05

SALT LAKE CITY, April 14 -- The FDA today placed a ban on supplements containing Grizzly Bear strength, after test subjects spontaneously combusted due to the overwhelming power they ingested. Scientists familiar with the research, speaking on condition of anonymity, suggested those looking for a weaker and less impressive alternative seek out gorilla strength, in that their wussy bodies are more capable of handling the "power" contained in such supplements.

:thu

J~$$$
02-02-2007, 08:14 AM
eZvCP25ka3E

Bears = soft = weak = death at the hands of the mighty silverback

adamnikyo
02-02-2007, 08:31 AM
and it's awesome to see who actually voted for whom. we have such a strong bear alliance it's not even funny. it renews my faith in this board.

it makes sense how many bear votes there are now.
this board has never seen so many retards.

Yablonowitz
02-02-2007, 08:50 AM
FDA Bans Grizzly Bear Supplement Due to Fatal Effect on Less Powerful Species

Associated Press
Friday, April 15, 2005; Page E05

SALT LAKE CITY, April 14 -- The FDA today placed a ban on supplements containing Grizzly Bear strength, after test subjects spontaneously combusted due to the overwhelming power they ingested. Scientists familiar with the research, speaking on condition of anonymity, suggested those looking for a weaker and less impressive alternative seek out gorilla strength, in that their wussy bodies are more capable of handling the "power" contained in such supplements.

:thu

Amdux in tha house!

Boourns
02-02-2007, 08:59 AM
Definitive proof that bears are defenseless, submissive weaklings:
ReTrAddgsFU

hawkingvsreeve
02-02-2007, 09:45 AM
I fucking love Robot Chicken.

corbo
02-02-2007, 12:02 PM
grizzly bear wins over gorilla no question about it

psychic friend
02-02-2007, 01:38 PM
http://www.offlimits-production.it/myspace/benny/daddy.gif

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-02-2007, 02:19 PM
making fun of gay gorillas is over the line.

schoolofruckus
02-02-2007, 02:25 PM
Oh wow, zoo people weigh in yet again. Now Dani can repeat THIS over and over again for the rest of the month.

I've said it once, I'll say it a million times - zoo people are no more honest about the animal combat trade than a used car salesman with a lot full of lemons. These people WORK with animals. They know god damn well that if gorillas and grizzly bears get the chance to fight, that means the end of the bear exhibits in all their local zoos. And though bears are disgustingly overrated in terms of their fight prowess, they are still a necessary contributor to the ambience of a zoo. You think these people are going to fuck away their livelihood by encouraging any random reporter or telephoning internet nerd with the truth? Of course not!

That would be like me taking a production on a scout of the studio, and then telling them over and over again how much their show is going to suck balls, and how they should save their money and not make it. It's bad for business; though I may feel that way in my heart, I'm never going to express it.

jackstraw94086
02-02-2007, 02:42 PM
You think these people are going to fuck away their livelihood by encouraging any random reporter or telephoning internet nerd with the truth? Of course not!

That would be like me taking a production on a scout of the studio, and then telling them over and over again how much their show is going to suck balls, and how they should save their money and not make it. It's bad for business; though I may feel that way in my heart, I'm never going to express it.

This makes precisely zero sense. How exactly does it hurt a zoologist to reveal the fighting capability of an animal? Do you seriously think people would loose interest in an animal if they learned it was more ferocious than they had previously believed? Wild animals are the whole damn reason people go to a zoo. What if an aquarium managed to successfully keep and display a Great White in a tank? Leaving novelty aside, do you think people would be disinterested because of it's killing power? I supposed you'd be over flipping starfish and fingering sting rays. You know what a zoo full of calm and impotent animals is? It's a petting zoo. Knowing how powerful and dangerous an animal is makes it way more interesting. If I were a zoologist I'd lie and talk up danger.

no. zoologists know a shitload more about silverbacks than any of us and there's no incentive at all for them to hide from us the truth of whether they could fight another animal.

And tell us honestly if you think a mature male grizzly would tolerate being harassed, pelted with dirt and sticks by females and juveniles. What a fairy.

schoolofruckus
02-02-2007, 03:00 PM
This makes precisely zero sense. How exactly does it hurt a zoologist to reveal the fighting capability of an animal? Do you seriously think people would loose interest in an animal if they learned it was more ferocious than they had previously believed?

Do you seriously think that's what I was saying? I said "encouraging with the truth" because I was inferring that if zoo employees - not necessarily the same as a zoologist; I should hope all you wizards that vote bear would at least be able to tell that difference - were to shatter your little bear bubble and reveal that yes, gorillas are much more ferocious than you think, and yes, they would fuck a bear up six ways from Sunday, then that would "encourage" us further to actually arrage the fight. Therefore, they take the uncontroversial position, tell you what you want to believe, and assuage the possibilities that such a death match will ever be staged. THIS keeps the bears alive and contributing to the zoo industry.


And tell us honestly if you think a mature male grizzly would tolerate being harassed, pelted with dirt and sticks by females and juveniles. What a fairy.

I'm telling you honestly - GO RENT FUCKING "GRIZZLY MAN". These bears get harrassed, slapped at, mimiced, et. al., by a man who is the Webster's definition of "juvenile". For fourteen years.

If anything, that gorilla, OJ - named after an almost-admitted murderer, for crying out fucking loud - has no time for fucking because he's too focused on his one mission to destroy. Sure, they say he's "harmless" and "too nice of a guy"; character witnesses said the same thing during Charlie Manson's trial. The bottom line - and the *shudder* 40-something of you that voted incorrectly are infallible proof of this - is that some people don't know a vicious death force until it's too late.

Yablonowitz
02-02-2007, 03:16 PM
Sure, they say he's "harmless" and "too nice of a guy"; character witnesses said the same thing during Charlie Manson's trial. The bottom line - and the *shudder* 40-something of you that voted incorrectly are infallible proof of this - is that some people don't know a vicious death force until it's too late.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v682/yablonowitz/fossey_dian.gif

Ladies and gentlemen, I present three vicious death forces for your enlightenment.

mob roulette
02-02-2007, 03:23 PM
i'm totally changing my vote to bjork.

mob roulette
02-02-2007, 03:32 PM
I actually thought of posing the question of Bjork vs. Zack from RATM.

What do you think?

I'll take Bjork because she kicked the shit out of that reporter in the airport.

i think bjork could totally take zach, the bear, AND the monkey. but that might be a different thread.

hawkingvsreeve
02-02-2007, 04:00 PM
She's a hunter. She's going hunting.

Alchemy
02-02-2007, 04:13 PM
Bear Intelligence vs. Gorilla Intelligence

PR1SdodB4nw

Po2JGdx9WBI

By the way, Koko's request of help is that we ship bears over to Africa so that Gorillas stop dying of starvation. They need them some grizzly meat!

Mr.Nipples
02-02-2007, 04:26 PM
this thread is stupid. theyll both be extinct within the next 50 years...

Alchemy
02-02-2007, 04:29 PM
Since we're all part monkey/chimp, I voted for the genetic hometeam.
Silverback Gorilla

Woah woah, we gotta' be true. We are not part chimp, chimps are not monkeys, both chimps and gorillas are our close cousins. They are like family to us. Humans, chimps, and gorillas are all apes. Monkeys are posers trying to give us a bad name.

amyzzz
02-02-2007, 04:54 PM
Yeah, but consider gorillas are a pre-tool version of us. In a fight between you and a bear, without tools, who would win?

jackstraw94086
02-02-2007, 05:30 PM
D I was inferring that if zoo employees - not necessarily the same as a zoologist; I should hope all you wizards that vote bear would at least be able to tell that difference
nit picking. very telling sign of a man hanging on the the last tattered threads of his beliefs. Besides, I challenge you to find an example of a zoo employee who works directly with gorillas enough to posess this knowledge that ISN'T a legit zoologist. For the purposes of this argument they are synonymous.




I'm telling you honestly - GO RENT FUCKING "GRIZZLY MAN". These bears get harrassed, slapped at, mimiced, et. al., by a man who is the Webster's definition of "juvenile". For fourteen years.

I have seen it. You can't possible compare a guy crouching 20 feet from a bear as it goes about it's own business unthreatened to a light-in-the-loafer silverback who gets beaten with sticks by gorilla children and can't land a piece of ass laid on a silver platter. There were a few points where the bears were curious enough to come check him out, but they were never truly frightened off. OJ would probably have tried to gently screw Grizzly Man if he was willing.




If anything, that gorilla, OJ - named after an almost-admitted murderer, for crying out fucking loud -
Seems you conveniently skipped this part of the article:

Now he's Oscar Jonesy, or Oscar for short, to avoid the notoriety linked to former football star O.J. Simpson, acquitted in 1995 of killing his wife. But the 306-pound silverback could be renamed at some point.
Seems he is so different from his supposed namesake that they are making extra effort to disassociate.


and the *shudder* 40-something of you that voted incorrectly ...
That shudder's only going to get worse. you better get some meds... or maybe a helmet.

bartelby
02-02-2007, 06:28 PM
You bear people never quit. Just face facts - gorillas are cool and all-powerful, bears are just hairy....

Gorilla's win everytime...

bmack86
02-02-2007, 06:33 PM
so does bad grammar apparently...
Bears are gonna be in the superbowl. Are there any gorillas that can claim that? (And no jokes about linemen)

Alchemy
02-02-2007, 06:59 PM
Bears are gonna be in the superbowl. Are there any gorillas that can claim that?

It is obvious that the Indio Gorillas are too good a team, and that it would be a very easy win. Superbowl promoters want it to be a fair game, so the Indio Gorillas are not allowed to go. I know... Money and politics.

schoolofruckus
02-02-2007, 07:50 PM
nit picking. very telling sign of a man hanging on the the last tattered threads of his beliefs. Besides, I challenge you to find an example of a zoo employee who works directly with gorillas enough to posess this knowledge that ISN'T a legit zoologist. For the purposes of this argument they are synonymous.

First of all, I said "zoo people", so I get to determine what I meant when I said that; you are not allowed to make "zoo people" synonymous with "zoologist". I humbly acknowledge that some zoo people have degrees in zoology, but when I made my comments, I was making blanket reference both to the people in the article - one of whom was a gorilla handler (surely a zoologist) and one of whom was a zoo spokeswoman (who probably can't tell the difference between a beaver and a badger, and god help her if she ever finds herself in the woods of Wisconsin) - in addition to the other zoo employees quoted in this thread throughout history by Dani and others. I feel quite certain that most of the people wasting away in the bullpen at a given zoo's Information department are not possessed of a degree in zoology; hence, my contempt for their blatantly abused positions of "expertise".


Seems he is so different from his supposed namesake that they are making extra effort to disassociate.

Changing the name "to avoid notoriety" is not the same thing as changing the name because it wasn't deserved.


That shudder's only going to get worse. you better get some meds... or maybe a helmet.

As a man beaten down and relatively abandoned (where is the fucking stripe when I need him???) for the time being, I laugh and wince at this at the same time.

Yablonowitz
02-02-2007, 09:43 PM
Now that there is a public light shining on this vote...man, you don't have a prayer.

vinylmartyr
02-02-2007, 10:29 PM
whoot good for you

amdux
02-02-2007, 11:36 PM
well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo....a gorilla can do sign language

just goes to show that they are already expecting their pussy throats to be ripped out by Grizzlies as foreplay, so they practice sign language

and if they're so smart, why are AFRICAN gorillas like koko using AMERICAN sign language?

schoolofruckus
02-03-2007, 08:42 AM
and if they're so smart, why are AFRICAN gorillas like koko using AMERICAN sign language?

Typical bear team genius....why do American kids learn foreign languages? Why do European kids learn English? Maybe you don't know this, living under a rock and all, but sometime in the last millenium, people started traveling to countries other than their own. It actually BENEFITS people to learn multiple languages in these oh-so-cosmopolitan times.

JJizzle04
02-03-2007, 11:19 AM
A grizzly can be put down with one bag of Doritos Sweet Chili Heat. A gorilla would rip your arms off and use them as tooth picks while eating that very same bag of Doritos. It's science...

Yablonowitz
02-03-2007, 02:33 PM
A grizzly can be put down with one bag of Doritos Sweet Chili Heat. A gorilla would rip your arms off and use them as tooth picks while eating that very same bag of Doritos. It's science...


That's what Falwell says about Intelligent Design.

JJizzle04
02-03-2007, 03:50 PM
That's what Ron Burgundy said about the bear's brain: "[A bear's brain] is two thirds the size of a gorilla's...it's science!"
Backed up by a very convincing rebuttle by Brick: "[A woman's] menstral cycle attracts bears."
Champ: "You hear that ED! Now you're putting the whole station at risk!"
What most of you probably haven't seen from that very important conversation was the deleted scene where Ed replied:
"Fellahs! No need to worry, if a bear comes into the studio we'll just get a Gorilla from the San Diego zoo to beat the bear senseless and make a rug for Brian Fantana's office to go with his sex panther!"

jackstraw94086
02-03-2007, 05:44 PM
First of all, I said "zoo people", so I get to determine what I meant when I said that; you are not allowed to make "zoo people" synonymous with "zoologist". I humbly acknowledge that some zoo people have degrees in zoology, but when I made my comments, I was making blanket reference both to the people in the article - one of whom was a gorilla handler (surely a zoologist) and one of whom was a zoo spokeswoman (who probably can't tell the difference between a beaver and a badger, and god help her if she ever finds herself in the woods of Wisconsin) - in addition to the other zoo employees quoted in this thread throughout history by Dani and others. I feel quite certain that most of the people wasting away in the bullpen at a given zoo's Information department are not possessed of a degree in zoology; hence, my contempt for their blatantly abused positions of "expertise".

My coworker has this one hair growing from her earlobe that irritates her. She doesn't want to pluck it anymore because she thinks it grows back thicker, now she just wishes she could split it. Can I give her your number?

hitthenorth
02-03-2007, 06:03 PM
Woah woah, we gotta' be true. We are not part chimp, chimps are not monkeys, both chimps and gorillas are our close cousins. They are like family to us. Humans, chimps, and gorillas are all apes. Monkeys are posers trying to give us a bad name.

'part chimp' Wasn't that a band?

hitthenorth
02-03-2007, 06:23 PM
Haven't bothered to read all this thread but there was a report on ITN news in the UK on Friday about a tiger sanctuary in China serving up tiger meat in its restaurant to Chinese businessmen. They also brewed wine that had tiger bone as an ingredient. The pictures of a tigers corpse hanging in a vat of 'wine' was fucking horrible. The whole 'sanctuary' seemed to be some sort of 'tiger farm'. Very unpleasant and a complete disregard for the law, but as long as there's a demand it'll continue.
Some people don't seem to give a monkeys about endangered species. Isn't Rhino horn used as an aphrodisiac in Chinese medecine? What's wrong with using beer like everyone else? I think the Musk Deer is endangered for that reason too. They have to kill the male to extract the musk from it's knackers or something. Do ladies really find a bloke who smells like a deer's knackers sexy? "Oh darling, you smell a bit game tonight".

jackstraw94086
02-03-2007, 06:44 PM
these are the same people who yank sharks out of the water, hack the dorsal fins, and dump the rest of the body, crippled and doomed back into the water. Just so they can have their fancy soup.

amdux
02-03-2007, 10:12 PM
such "people" will inevitably be subject to an eternity of anal rape with a massive pineapple festering with maggots and hornets by satan

:thu

psychic friend
02-03-2007, 10:17 PM
i feel for the gorilla clan, really i do. they preach fantasy and write really eloquent arguments. but facts are facts and a bear would win a fight given the facts of the situation. or any situation really.

tessalasset
02-03-2007, 11:08 PM
Now who would win in a battle of words: Jackstraw or Schoolofruckus?

Hannahrain
02-03-2007, 11:37 PM
Cite your source.

Anyway, I don't know how we're even arguing about this when a 5'11" woman wrestled with a polar bear (I know, not a grizzly, but close) and won.

there are some angry 5'11 women that not even the grizzliest bear or the most silvered gorilla wants to fuck with...

point=irrelevant.

Hannahrain
02-03-2007, 11:44 PM
this thread is stupid. theyll both be extinct within the next 50 years...

chances are good you will be, too. so by your own logic that makes you...survey says...STUPID.