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comiddle
01-29-2007, 03:08 AM
... I think that's what this thread was called.

Anyways, here's a couple from tonight:

1. A near fight broke out in the kitchen. I went in and they were throwing eggs at eachother and screaming. The one guy was saying "I'm 50 and I'll still kick your french ass" to which the other guy responded with "You just wasted three of my eggs you mofo!" It was hard not to laugh as they continued to argue after I had to split them up to cook their meals at seperate ends of the kitchen. The old guy kept going on about how he's a Hell's Angel, how he's a line boss for so and so company pulling in $6,000/mo, how his sons will come beat up the french guy. The french guy was just mourning the loss of his dinner. The next two hours were spent trying to diffuse an ever escalating situation where three regulars were defending the french guy against the 50 year old, who insisted his biker friends were on the way.

2. "Excuse me sir, but you can't smoke crack in here. You're more than welcome to smoke it somewhere else though. Thanks."
... 20 minutes later he returned and attempted again. He didn't remember anything about our previous encounter. He got up, walked around the table, sat down and pulled out his pipe again. From 20 minutes to 20s. Great! I love the residents of the east village.

3. "I just pissed in the middle of the bar, and instead of kicking me out, they gave me one on the house." This guy, great guy, is such a regular at the place that he couldn't get kicked out if he tried. The bar then offered him tickets to a hockey game, in the company box, with all he could eat/drink and he turned them down.

4. I made a crackhead cry because I wouldn't let her use the washroom. She spent a few minutes arguing with me until I relented. Funny, we're a block from Shelter #1, a block and a half from Shelter #2 and two blocks from Shelter #3. We're right in the middle, and she chose to come here over the others, and rather than haul ass to Shelter #1, she cried about it and wasted more time than necessary. Crackheads...

It feels good to rant.

vinylmartyr
01-29-2007, 03:13 AM
yup

Mystagogue
01-29-2007, 03:15 AM
A jar of mayonnaise.

Yablonowitz
02-01-2007, 12:25 PM
From: Julie
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2007 2:12 PM
To: Missoula
Subject: Hot Water

Missoula Staff:

The hot water heater elements went out and Garden City Plumbing is ordering a new heater. It won’t arrive for a week or so. In the meantime, he replaced one element in the old heater, so it’s working (sort of) and it stirred up some calcium & lime deposits from the bottom of the tank. So there may be some deposits in the hot water but he said they are not toxic or anything.

The new heater should be in by the end of next week.

Julie

downingthief
02-01-2007, 12:31 PM
From: Julie
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2007 2:12 PM
To: Missoula
Subject: Hot Water

Missoula Staff:

The hot water heater elements went out and Garden City Plumbing is ordering a new heater. It won’t arrive for a week or so. In the meantime, he replaced one element in the old heater, so it’s working (sort of) and it stirred up some calcium & lime deposits from the bottom of the tank. So there may be some deposits in the hot water but he said they are not toxic or anything.

The new heater should be in by the end of next week.

Julie

That's priceless.

mozabilly54
02-01-2007, 03:34 PM
that's more interesting then mine! I'm bored so i drew this...

http://photo.xanga.com/blackframes54/04cf1104340294/photo.html

mozabilly54
02-01-2007, 03:36 PM
my picture won't show up.... :(
http://x04.xanga.com/cf1d152255331104340294/z73710186.jpg


there it is! :)

york707
02-02-2007, 02:07 PM
I just sat at a deposition (a video one, by the way; I was thinking how much cooler the breaks would have been in Brandon was the one taping it) for SIX hours, with 28 other attorneys, the witness, the court reporter and the videographer. For six hours. WE didn't even finish I didn't even get to ask any questions. It will be continued in a few weeks.

The plaintiff's attorney showed up in a bright orange Chicago Bears sweatshirt hoodie. And wore it the whole depo.

downingthief
02-02-2007, 02:12 PM
One of my teammates had a panic attack a week ago, because he realized that he was going to be caught red handed stealing from the company (that info just came out). Some people are just soooo not intelligent. I mean...how could someone think they were NOT going to get caught??

york707
02-02-2007, 02:21 PM
Well, if you're tyoing this from work, I imagine your IT people know now.

downingthief
02-02-2007, 02:28 PM
Eh, IT could care less about this incident. It's sales related. They are too busy stopping porn.

tessalasset
02-02-2007, 02:59 PM
vinylmartyr
Member

Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 722

how the hell???

hawkingvsreeve
02-02-2007, 03:04 PM
I just sat at a deposition (a video one, by the way; I was thinking how much cooler the breaks would have been in Brandon was the one taping it) for SIX hours, with 28 other attorneys, the witness, the court reporter and the videographer. For six hours. WE didn't even finish I didn't even get to ask any questions. It will be continued in a few weeks.

The plaintiff's attorney showed up in a bright orange Chicago Bears sweatshirt hoodie. And wore it the whole depo.


Is this a contruction defect case? I forget what kind of law you practice. Also, with that many attorneys, you have to be looking at at least 5 or 6 volumes with that deponent. My record is 7.

york707
02-02-2007, 08:38 PM
Is actually an asbestos case. Today lasted 6 hours - and it was the second day already... third day to come soon.

smilingdownward
02-03-2007, 10:19 PM
... I think that's what this thread was called.



2. "Excuse me sir, but you can't smoke crack in here. You're more than welcome to smoke it somewhere else though. Thanks."
... 20 minutes later he returned and attempted again. He didn't remember anything about our previous encounter. He got up, walked around the table, sat down and pulled out his pipe again. From 20 minutes to 20s. Great! I love the residents of the east village.


4. I made a crackhead cry because I wouldn't let her use the washroom. She spent a few minutes arguing with me until I relented. Funny, we're a block from Shelter #1, a block and a half from Shelter #2 and two blocks from Shelter #3. We're right in the middle, and she chose to come here over the others, and rather than haul ass to Shelter #1, she cried about it and wasted more time than necessary. Crackheads...

It feels good to rant.

hahaha, i can totally relate, i have worked in county hosptials as an RN and there are the crack head in there all the time. they drive me crazy. it made me laugh that you said you made her cry. too funny.

york707
02-08-2007, 06:56 AM
-----Original Message-----
From: Doe, Jane
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 11:49 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Reminder
Importance: High

Training is mandatory - goes hand in hand with other seminars and training the firm is doing this year.

Professional Dress seminar on Thursday the 8th - 3rd floor in the xxxxxxxxxx training room.

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx is an image consultant and specializing in professional appearance and wardrobe development.

10am - for the female attorneys
12:30 lunch for all
1pm - for the male attorneys

amyzzz
02-08-2007, 07:00 AM
-----Original Message-----
From: Doe, Jane
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 11:49 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Reminder
Importance: High

Training is mandatory - goes hand in hand with other seminars and training the firm is doing this year.

Professional Dress seminar on Thursday the 8th - 3rd floor in the xxxxxxxxxx training room.

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx is an image consultant and specializing in professional appearance and wardrobe development.

10am - for the female attorneys
12:30 lunch for all
1pm - for the male attorneys
So...apparently you guys don't know how to dress?

york707
02-08-2007, 11:54 AM
OK - TWO HOURS LATER, I just got done. I wanted to punch that hooker in the throat. She starts off by saying, "Now I know you think your appearance isn't important; you say, 'I sit an office 12 hours a day - what does it matter how I look?" I was immediately offended and made only the slightest effort to hide my disdain. I fucking look good, bitch - learn about it. Who else can rock a blue and pink tie and a shirt with french cuffs and look this goddamn sexy?

kimery08
02-08-2007, 11:59 AM
i need to see it.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 12:02 PM
OK - TWO HOURS LATER, I just got done. I wanted to punch that hooker in the throat. She starts off by saying, "Now I know you think your appearance isn't important; you say, 'I sit an office 12 hours a day - what does it matter how I look?" I was immediately offended and made only the slightest effort to hide my disdain. I fucking look good, bitch - learn about it. Who else can rock a blue and pink tie and a shirt with french cuffs and look this goddamn sexy?

no shit. i'm wearing like this dark, dark green cotton poly long sleeved geoffrey beene shirt WITH an italian sports coat AND black tie for this stupid client meeting we have at three. plus new kenneth coles that are killing my feet. AND it's unseasonably warm, like 85 degrees outside, but the thermostat in these offices are acting like it might as well be Antarctica outside. simply put, i'm ROASTING and i dare anyone to walk in here and say that men have it easy. i DARE you. no, i double DOG dare you.

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 12:06 PM
Reason: to escalate my proposed challenge. matter of fact, TRIPLE dog dare.

wmgaretjax
02-08-2007, 12:11 PM
french cuffs are soooo passe.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 12:18 PM
Reason: to escalate my proposed challenge. matter of fact, TRIPLE dog dare.

DEPENDING on where you work and what you do for a living, FASHION ends up being just as important for the men as it is for the ladies. Case in point, the laundering and pressing of work wear. my job requires that i have a suitable (read: IMMACULATE) set of clothes every single day. Now, i can pay to have this done--5 shirts @ 2 bucks each, 5 pants at 4 to 5, MUCH higher if i don't wash them myself first, MUCH MUCH higher if they need to be drycleaned or if just turn them in because i'm feeling lazy or else otherwise EXHAUSTED after a full week of MIND NUMBING soul crushing STRESS and EXECUTIVE decision making. or else i could just spend nearly ALL DAY SUNDAY ironing and starching. you do the math. either way, it blows.

by the way, i'm taking applications for a suitable mate. slackers and "spot cleaners" need not apply. please contact if interested. ladies, i'm a CATCH.

york707
02-08-2007, 12:20 PM
How abuot the hankercheif in my pocket? Is that passe?

york707
02-08-2007, 12:21 PM
Or my white collar on my blue shirt?

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 12:26 PM
How abuot the hankercheif in my pocket? Is that passe?


Or my white collar on my blue shirt?

the white collar on the blue shirt totally has to go. it's ralph lauren/tommy hilfiger retro (and that's DARLING, mind you) but it's not old enough yet to be considered either kitsch or vintage.

points for the hankerchief though. making a comeback. though chivalry never goes out of style.

i may have to start a coachella fashion advice column. hang on.

wmgaretjax
02-08-2007, 12:32 PM
DEPENDING on where you work and what you do for a living, FASHION ends up being just as important for the men as it is for the ladies. Case in point, the laundering and pressing of work wear. my job requires that i have a suitable (read: IMMACULATE) set of clothes every single day. Now, i can pay to have this done--5 shirts @ 2 bucks each, 5 pants at 4 to 5, MUCH higher if i don't wash them myself first, MUCH MUCH higher if they need to be drycleaned or if just turn them in because i'm feeling lazy or else otherwise EXHAUSTED after a full week of MIND NUMBING soul crushing STRESS and EXECUTIVE decision making. or else i could just spend nearly ALL DAY SUNDAY ironing and starching. you do the math. either way, it blows.

by the way, i'm taking applications for a suitable mate. slackers and "spot cleaners" need not apply. please contact if interested. ladies, i'm a CATCH.

sounds like you need a new job.


And york, I agree with mob. kick the white collar to the curb, but sport that kerchief with pride.

vinylmartyr
02-08-2007, 12:37 PM
You guys are Dandy like Beau Brummell.

TomAz
02-08-2007, 12:49 PM
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with mob too. I never was one much for the white collar/blue shirt look. seemed a little too, I dunno, a little too Jersey mob boss for me, if you know what I mean. But the pocket square is very chic.

Fortunately I don't have to wear a suit too often, only a couple times a month anymore. but while I was in India this trip I had one custom-tailored which was pretty cool.

amyzzz
02-08-2007, 01:02 PM
We basically have no dress code at my work. I can come in wearing pajamas or sweat pants, and no one cares.

york707
02-08-2007, 01:05 PM
Jesus Christ - I was kidding about the white collar. I hate that look. It remnids me of my dad when he worked as a consultant in the mid nineties. I was kidding about the hankerchief, too. But not the cuff links.

wmgaretjax
02-08-2007, 01:06 PM
sounds like it's time to go out and buy a kerchief

york707
02-08-2007, 01:16 PM
sounds like it's time to go out and buy a kerchief

Seriously.

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 01:55 PM
From: Denise
Sent: Thursday, February 08, 2007 3:47 PM
To: Missoula
Subject: Re: tomorrow is Friday..........already.............
Importance: High

Can you believe it is Thursday already ??? That means it is Coffee/Beverage “DAY” tomorrow….Just thought I would remind you if you want to come down and put your order in for tomorrow…..????????
Last week we gave the Lighthouse a very generous size “tip” because a couple of you wonderful people did’nt get your change back…I asked the delivery person for some change but “she does’nt carry change” ssooooooo is it tooo much of me to ask if you would try to bring the exact amount ???
I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause..
Thank you alllll…and remember by 9A.M…tomorrow morning……Have a great evening….
Denise

full on idle
02-08-2007, 01:57 PM
Thank you allllllllllllllllll

soooooooooo

???

"DAY"

fuck denise I want Lois

york707
02-08-2007, 02:01 PM
Yeah, what's the story with this so-called "day"?

TomAz
02-08-2007, 02:03 PM
I was kidding about the white collar. I hate that look.

good. I can restore your manpoints now.


That means it is Coffee/Beverage “DAY” tomorrow….

you only get beverages once a week?

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 02:22 PM
I have a friend who used to work in tech at the company I'm currently working for. He would send me the strange work orders he'd receive and he just sent me one from his new job. The first one is the one he just sent me, the rest are some of the old ones I've kept.


Subject: Hardware Problem (See Description)
Description: Strange thing - when I turn my fan on, line 2 on my phone starts ringing and won't stop.

From: Eileen
Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 3:23 PM
To: Tim; Mike
Subject: Computer


Uhh, guys! Just a second ago I got up to get some water and when I got back my computer was re-booting itself???????????


From: Teresa
Sent: Tuesday, December 17, 2002 10:41 AM
To: IT Missoula
Subject: Time

how come I can adjust the time on my computer?

From: Teresa
Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 2002 8:25 AM
To: Mike
Subject: Hey

Mike do you know anything about PC's?

CuervoPH
02-08-2007, 02:27 PM
Subject: Hardware Problem (See Description)
Description: Strange thing - when I turn my fan on, line 2 on my phone starts ringing and won't stop.


I really wish I had a second line on my phone right now so I could send this in to our Tech Support. Of course that might make it even better. "When I turn my fan on, line 2 on my phone starts ringing and won't stop. This didn't strike me as odd until it occurred to me that I don't have a line 2."

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 02:36 PM
DO IT!

Que Stiller avatar.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 05:13 PM
Jesus Christ - I was kidding about the white collar. I hate that look. It remnids me of my dad when he worked as a consultant in the mid nineties.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r182/coxcombred/office-space-2.jpg

exhibit A: lumbergh.

no relation i'm sure.

york707
02-08-2007, 06:22 PM
Egggggggggsactly.

lindseyb
02-12-2007, 12:29 PM
Why my work is an awesome place:

One of the attorneys brought in a masseuse to give us 20-minute massages as a show of appreciation. I just had mine and it was wonderful. :)

J~$$$
02-12-2007, 12:31 PM
I know what everyone is thinking at this point.

CheersDarlin
02-12-2007, 01:17 PM
You all have jobs? Thats silly.

amyzzz
02-12-2007, 01:20 PM
I know what everyone is thinking at this point.
Happy endings.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 01:30 PM
Happy endings.

want to go private?

york707
02-13-2007, 08:08 AM
The office is closing at 1 due to the weather.

amyzzz
02-13-2007, 08:10 AM
want to go private?
married. faithful.

mountmccabe
02-27-2007, 05:34 AM
We have no water this morning because someone stole some outside copper piping around 3 am. This means we can't make batches, can't clean, etc.

We are expected to be up before too long, though.

Courtney
02-27-2007, 05:56 AM
We have no water this morning because someone stole some outside copper piping around 3 am. This means we can't make batches, can't clean, etc..

Batches of what?

PS - Stolen copper makes a good profit on the black market, apparently.

Courtney
02-27-2007, 06:00 AM
From: xxxxxxxxxxx Monday - February 26, 2007 6:47 PM
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: diner Invitation MARCH 10TH R.S.V.P. ASAP

xxxxxxxxxx AND xxxxxxxxxx

cordially invite you to

FRENCH PANCAKE PARTY
Sweet and Salty

(Celebrating xxxxxxxxxx featured in the exhibition xxxxxxxxxx)


SATURDAY March 10th

7:00 to 10:00 pm
xxxx SUNSET BOULEVARD LOS ANGELES CA

(BETWEEN xxxxxxxxxx AND xxxxxxxxxx)

- PARKING ON xxxxxxxxxx
Phone : 310-xxx-xxxx

mountmccabe
02-27-2007, 06:04 AM
We make shampoos, conditioners, face washes... that sort of thing.

Courtney
02-27-2007, 06:06 AM
Oh, yes then those would be difficult things to make without water.

comiddle
02-27-2007, 06:33 AM
Crepes are ace.

Courtney
02-27-2007, 06:37 AM
I hope that they're talking about crepes. Because right now I'm imagining a big stack of American-style buttermilk pancakes with sliced bratwurst or something on top.

mountmccabe
02-27-2007, 07:23 AM
Bratwurst would def be salty. Maybe there'd be chocolate or strawberries too.

mountmccabe
02-27-2007, 09:19 AM
We have water now. As of like 2 hours ago. But waters means work so I've been unable to update y'all until now. Thanks for you cards, flower arrangments and good wishes. We made it through this tough time and we will soldier on!

hawkingvsreeve
02-27-2007, 12:55 PM
We are going through a merger.
I might lose my job.
No income = no Coachella.
Might be selling tickets/drums/etc. for rent.
I will keep you posted.

J~$$$
02-27-2007, 12:56 PM
ouch.

amyzzz
02-27-2007, 12:57 PM
We are going through a merger.
I might lose my job.
No income = no Coachella.
Might be selling tickets/drums/etc. for rent.
I will keep you posted.
I hope you can come up with some better options. Good luck, Brandon.

downingthief
02-27-2007, 01:16 PM
We are going through a merger.
I might lose my job.
No income = no Coachella.
Might be selling tickets/drums/etc. for rent.
I will keep you posted.

Man, that sucks. Hope that is not the case. But, if it is, from one musician to another...sell the drums last. :)

downingthief
02-27-2007, 01:19 PM
We have water now. As of like 2 hours ago. But waters means work so I've been unable to update y'all until now. Thanks for you cards, flower arrangments and good wishes. We made it through this tough time and we will soldier on!

That's good. I was planning on not bathing to show my support.

mob roulette
02-28-2007, 07:31 AM
motherfuckers were PANICKING (http://www.latimes.com/technology/la-fi-glitch28feb28,1,293219.story?coll=la-headlines-technology) yesterday, checking prices online every ten seconds or so. REFRESH. REFRESH. REFRESH GODDAMN YOU. so funny.

mountmccabe
02-28-2007, 07:42 AM
Good luck B-dawg. Hope things work out.


And make sure I give you my updated address for when you decide you need to go the manwhore route.

Courtney
02-28-2007, 11:22 AM
hawking - That's super shitty man, I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I hope everything works out okay.

mob - Are you one of the guys that has to wake up at 4am so you can be there when the market opens on the east coast? Because I pity those guys.

mob roulette
02-28-2007, 12:12 PM
mob - Are you one of the guys that has to wake up at 4am so you can be there when the market opens on the east coast? Because I pity those guys.

thanks courtney but no. i check it from home. bitches can blackberry me any IMPORTANT changes in strategy if need be. however, the odds of anybody else in this office knowing something before i do? not bloody likely. that's why it's funny to watch them panic. losers.

caco0283
03-27-2007, 02:25 PM
oh my god....this damn estonian chick comes to work at 10 when she lives 5 minutes from the office.....i get in at 8:30 8-45ish and have to drive for about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes to work.....she leaves work at 5:30 and i leave work from anywhere from 9 to 12.......how the fuck is this shit happening......i know i spend sometime fucking around online but thats only when im rendering stuff....ahhhhhhh im going to have to get rid of her soon

jimmycrackcorn
03-27-2007, 06:01 PM
heres a list of stuff that has happened @ my work in the last year:

2 bomb threats (1 actual fake bomb)

a lady had a miscarriage in our bathroom... our maintenance lady thought the toilet was plugged up and was plunging it like crazy before she realized what was in there and freaked out... we had detctives in there reviewing video trying to figure out whose fetus it was... was it dead when it came out or was it alive?!

the cops shot and killed some dude with felony warrants in our prking lot after him resisting arrest and actually getting one of the cops guns...

too many fights, freaks, and medical emergencies to remember....

i work @ the palm springs wal-mart

miscorrections
03-27-2007, 06:03 PM
oh man, your work sucks.
my job entails sitting around doing nothing and getting paid for it. and once i made a fort out of a table and only left it to scope out the sound guy's ass.

jimmycrackcorn
03-27-2007, 06:12 PM
oh man, your work sucks.
my job entails sitting around doing nothing and getting paid for it. and once i made a fort out of a table and only left it to scope out the sound guy's ass.

hahaha not really... i am a optician in the vision center so it's easy money... most of my time is spent on my @$$ too... we are in our own lil world in the vision center and have a front row seat to the zoo/freakshow that is the rest of the store...

miscorrections
03-27-2007, 06:13 PM
walmart is kind of scary. the customers...oh dear. they make me shudder.