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View Full Version : A Word About Jack (major flame opportunities enclosed)



im so indie
01-22-2008, 02:41 AM
Out of my 4500 or so songs on my computer, none belong to Jack Johnson.


But I still like him. He's just a simple guy who writes nice simple songs and does what comes naturally. Decent guitar player, and a great voice that makes his songs singable and lyrical.

There isn't much of a difference between Jack and other singer/songwriters (Will Sheff, Colin Meloy, Conor Oberst, Britt Daniel, Dan Auerbach, Elliot Smith, etc. etc. etc.)

They're all just different people from different places with different styles and sounds. They all sit down with a gutiar or piano and make music.

Jack is a "billboard" type artist, which usually is taboo around here. That attitude drives me nuts. You can't blame an artist for their success. Blame them for their lack of groove, heart, talent, honesty or whatever.

Does he deserve a headlining spot? I sure was surprised, to say the least. (especially after hearing the names of Waters, Zepplin and Bowie during the spanish broadcast) THAT'S what we were all expecting. Something historic.

But that's Coachella's decision. They put him up there. So let's just roll with it.

Right?

Riiight.

ThatBul
01-22-2008, 02:44 AM
I don't think people on this board are as opposed to artists being "successful" and "on the charts" and all that, as they are to artists whose music seems to appeal to douche bags - and Jack Johnson definitely fits the bill for that.

Also, and excuse my elitism, but I think Elliott Smith is now spinning in his grave...

whomod
01-22-2008, 02:46 AM
Like I mentioned in another thread, I saw him at the acoustic X-mas a few years ago. All the people wearing tye die and the people that looked as if they came from an audition of The Partridge Family remake all came alive during his barefoot acoustic guitar strumming set.

Me I was happy when it was over. An hours worth of the taste of the OC suburbs is more than enough for me.

ThatBul
01-22-2008, 03:05 AM
Jack Johnson is included on the iTunes Essentials set "Soccer Mom Chillout".

'Nuff said.

BROKENDOLL
01-22-2008, 11:00 AM
Jack Johnson is included on the iTunes Essentials set "Soccer Mom Chillout".

'Nuff said.
There you have it. Now while you're off in another tent listening to your choice in music, you can feel better knowing there is a soccer mom over watching JJ...Feel better now?

microlovebeat
01-22-2008, 11:04 AM
whoa hold on wait a min there, son.....


JACK JOHNSON and ELLIOTT SMITH are not even in the same fucking world musically. please don't make this comparison again.

nationocean
01-22-2008, 11:07 AM
uhoh. you went there with elliott smith..

this should be fun..

microcuts
01-22-2008, 11:09 AM
Jack Johnson is probably the reason Elliott offed himself.

quicksand
01-22-2008, 11:10 AM
Yeah, he's not bad.. It's just gonna be weird in the dark of the night, sitting on a stool on that huge stage playing an acoustic guitar. If he was a subheadliner playing sunset I think he'd get a much better response.

microcuts
01-22-2008, 11:11 AM
Interesting you say that...

the set times aren't gonna be announced for some time. Maybe something like that could happen?

GauchoGuy17
01-22-2008, 11:47 AM
I think his presence in a headlining spot is making people blind with hate.

His music isn't bad. You can have good taste and like his stuff. He's at least as talented as some of the other names on here, like Rilo Kiley, etc. Lyrically, he's often great, as seen on songs like Traffic in the Sky, Posters, etc.

But he's in a headlining spot, so now all of a sudden he's never written a good song in his life.

It's pretty funny to watch, actually.

thedevious
01-22-2008, 11:55 AM
What the fuck is traffic on the sky posters, some curious george shit?

How dare you mention his song titles on this board! We have evolved beyond the likes of apple jack simmons or whatever his hippy name is. Other than Midnight Juggernauts and a few others, Friday is a joke.

On the upside Saturday is about one of the best Coachella days I have seen since 99.

GauchoGuy17
01-22-2008, 11:58 AM
What the fuck is traffic on the sky posters, some curious george shit?

How dare you mention his song titles on this board! We have evolved beyond the likes of apple jack simmons or whatever his hippy name is. Other than Midnight Juggernauts and a few others, Friday is a joke.

On the upside Saturday is about one of the best Coachella days I have seen since 99.

Oh right, I forgot.

If it isn't idm, underground hip-hop or a rock band from 1980-1993 that's getting back together, it sucks major cock.

Courtney
01-22-2008, 12:01 PM
Jack Johnson is included on the iTunes Essentials set "Soccer Mom Chillout".

'Nuff said.

For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

chip_m555
01-22-2008, 12:06 PM
Jack Johnson is included on the iTunes Essentials set "Soccer Mom Chillout".

'Nuff said.

hahahahahhahhahhahhahahahhahahahhhahahahhahaha. Fuckin sweet. Maybe they can turn it on in the morning while they are making bananna pancakes and cutting orange slices for the kids.

thedevious
01-22-2008, 12:09 PM
This cocksucker hardly deserves an opening slot, much less headlining. This is at the very heart of the matter don't you see?

Gaucho, you don't know what I dig my young cobra. Don't front.

vogina
01-22-2008, 12:09 PM
he is headlining a coachella. i hope the east gets someone similar to his caliber as well

whynotsmile99
01-22-2008, 12:10 PM
Yeah, he's not bad.. It's just gonna be weird in the dark of the night, sitting on a stool on that huge stage playing an acoustic guitar. If he was a subheadliner playing sunset I think he'd get a much better response.

i imagine the bleed from other stages and the Do Lab will get him too. The Do Lab was bleeding into Rage last year.

There is no hope for Banana Pancakes

Iamjoeswastdlife
01-22-2008, 12:10 PM
For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

I agree big time.

M Sparks
01-22-2008, 12:11 PM
How do you "cut orange slices"?

MonsoonSeason
01-22-2008, 12:15 PM
For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

absolutely right

I mean we might get a fucking killer barbecue out of the Jack Johnson fans

chip_m555
01-22-2008, 12:17 PM
How do you "cut orange slices"?

usually with a knife.

Courtney
01-22-2008, 12:23 PM
Mmm orange slices. This year, Coachella should have some Mexican-style sliced fruit vendors with the chili and lime. That's good stuff.

MonsoonSeason
01-22-2008, 12:25 PM
yeah but unlike mexican fruit vendors they would cost $5 for 3 ounces of fruit or $8 for 6 ounces (thereby saving the purchaser TWO DOLLARS! THAT'S ONE WATER!)

Courtney
01-22-2008, 12:27 PM
hahaha

That's ok. I'd take it over a churro.

Trailmix
01-22-2008, 12:32 PM
For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

This I agree with 100%. Even though I have no interest in seeing JJ. I just hope there is something good to see while he is playing.

M Sparks
01-22-2008, 12:43 PM
usually with a knife.

Sorry...let me rephrase the question.

WHY would you "cut orange slices"?

chip_m555
01-22-2008, 01:01 PM
Sorry...let me rephrase the question.

WHY would you "cut orange slices"?


Because that is what soccer moms do. At halftime the kids get their vitamin C in a healthy delicious snack. Plus Its fun to pretend that you have one giant orange tooth. Oh the sillyness oh the maddness. Orange slices for everyone!!! They are on me this year guys

devon
01-22-2008, 01:06 PM
I'm willing to bet he will end up being a sub-headliner which I think would be better. I really enjoy his music, good stuff to chill out too. Which is why I think it'd be cooler to see him at sunset.
Plus he's not really a big enough name to headline coachella.

matthew_AZ
01-22-2008, 01:11 PM
Jack Johnson is included on the iTunes Essentials set "Soccer Mom Chillout".

'Nuff said.

R.E.M and Prince are listed on this same playlist.

M Sparks
01-22-2008, 02:05 PM
At halftime the kids get their vitamin C in a healthy delicious snack. Plus Its fun to pretend that you have one giant orange tooth.

OK, I hate to waste so much time on an off-topic nitpicky throwaway line. And the orange tooth thing was funny, so I'm going to cut you some slack...

...but where I come from, the oranges come kinda..."pre-sliced", so to speak. It's nature's packaged snack! Seems like cutting those sections with a knife just makes a big juicy mess. And moms hate messes!

That's all I was getting at. Sorry to be so annoying.

internal wrangler
01-22-2008, 02:09 PM
Like I mentioned in another thread, I saw him at the acoustic X-mas a few years ago.

I did too, and to date, it was the worst concert experience of my life. At that's saying a lot-- I've survived through some merde.

brycerosen
01-22-2008, 07:49 PM
i have a good feelin Jack Johnsion will play around sunset and Raconteurs will close

jmckimmey
01-22-2008, 07:52 PM
maybe he'll just drop out and not play.

jmckimmey
01-22-2008, 07:54 PM
maybe he'll just drop out and not play..

flowbee
01-22-2008, 07:56 PM
I don't think people on this board are as opposed to artists being "successful" and "on the charts" and all that, as they are to artists whose music seems to appeal to douche bags - and Jack Johnson definitely fits the bill for that.

Also, and excuse my elitism, but I think Elliott Smith is now spinning in his grave...

I keep telling myself, at least its not Dave Matthews

lostsoul86
01-22-2008, 08:06 PM
Because that is what soccer moms do. At halftime the kids get their vitamin C in a healthy delicious snack. Plus Its fun to pretend that you have one giant orange tooth. Oh the sillyness oh the maddness. Orange slices for everyone!!! They are on me this year guys



LMFAO

joppy-slow
01-22-2008, 08:07 PM
I keep telling myself, at least its not Dave Matthews

really?? Dave Matthews Band would be soooooo much fucking better than Jack Johnson.. I would rather see DMB than Portis..zzzzzzzzz..Head..

GauchoGuy17
01-22-2008, 08:11 PM
How exactly does Jack Johnson's music appeal to douchebags? This isn't Slayer or Rage or Megadeth here. His music mostly appeals to 16-30 year olds and college age kids who like to drink beer and smoke pot.

bigparade
01-22-2008, 08:12 PM
I keep telling myself, at least its not Dave Matthews

don't you get it? This is Dave Mathews LITE. DMB would be an abomination.
This is like an abomination with even less balls. This is neither historic,
relevant, or exciting.

quicksand
01-22-2008, 08:27 PM
For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

Though I'm a Rage fan... I'll agree. Good point, I guess there are some ups with this situation. And btw I'm just speculating he'll play at night cause that's when all the headliners have played in the past. Though I still think sunset would be most fitting.

crazzz2007
01-22-2008, 08:32 PM
I keep telling myself, at least its not Dave Matthews

Dave Matthews would have been about 237 times better than Jack Johnson.

ThomThom
01-22-2008, 08:33 PM
How exactly does Jack Johnson's music appeal to douchebags? This isn't Slayer or Rage or Megadeth here. His music mostly appeals to 16-30 year olds and college age kids who like to drink beer and smoke pot.

Well if you think about it there are two kinds of douchebags...

Jack Johnson Douchebag - Some type of American Eagle/Abercrombie polo that has been washed too many times with the collar up, frayed cargo shorts or jeans, pookah shells, barbwire tatoo, thumb rings, fake tan (or natural), and flips flops. They also tend to beat their hands against their chest in order to show how well they know "the drums" in a song.

Rage Against the Machine Douchebag - White man dreads or a "skin tight" fade, anything black (particularly hoodies), only logo's allowed on clothing are skateboard companies or RAAAAAGE, camoflage pants/shorts, dickies pants/shorts, old english tatoo's, parties on the bed of their black trucks (sometimes lifted), hideous girlfriends or hot ones that try really hard to be hideous, constantly scream and throw up the "devil horns" whle listening to music that amuses them, and their black truck must have a huge "Famous" logo on the back window of their truck.

karecares
01-22-2008, 08:33 PM
Yeah, he's not bad.. It's just gonna be weird in the dark of the night, sitting on a stool on that huge stage playing an acoustic guitar. If he was a subheadliner playing sunset I think he'd get a much better response.
a headliner does not mean that he is going to be closing the show, it is the title spot on the bill

karecares
01-22-2008, 08:36 PM
Well if you think about it there are two kinds of douchebags...

Jack Johnson Douchebag - Some type of American Eagle/Abercrombie polo that has been washed too many times with the collar up, frayed cargo shorts or jeans, pookah shells, barbwire tatoo, thumb rings, fake tan (or natural), and flips flops. They also tend to beat their hands against their chest in order to show how well they know "the drums" in a song.

Rage Against the Machine Douchebag - White man dreads or a "skin tight" fade, anything black (particularly hoodies), only logo's allowed on clothing are skateboard companies or RAAAAAGE, camoflage pants/shorts, dickies pants/shorts, old english tatoo's, parties on the bed of their black trucks (sometimes lifted), hideous girlfriends or hot ones that try really hard to be hideous, constantly scream and throw up the "devil horns" whle listening to music that amuses them, and their black truck must have a huge "Famous" logo on the back windhield of their truck.
LOL

raconteurs rule
01-22-2008, 08:38 PM
OK, Jack Johnson headlining has got to be just a tease, he must be a stand-in for a better act that will be announced later because he is absolutely NOT headliner material.

I saw him at Neil Young's Bridge School Benefit and he was the most incredibly boring live act I have EVER seen. Also on the bill that day was the headliner, James Taylor. Jack Johnson made James Taylor sound like James was rockin' like Iggy by comparison. Maybe GV should have James Taylor headline, it seems like as good a crappy decision as the one they've already made!! I know, I know, somehow the hippies and neofolkies need to be accounted for so GV has covered the musical demographics, so they chose the wonderboy JJ. He's so smoothed out, no wonder soccer moms love him. I say, if that's the case, put My Morning Jacket as a headliner. They at least rock. Even Iron and Wine would have been more original and interesting. Or better yet, have some balls and put up a real headliner who REALLY ROCKS!!!

I'm hoping it's all just a bad dream though, wasn't that horrible Curious George song enough already??? Just because the critics and the industry may like his happy radio appeal and they WANT him to be big so they shove him down our throat, I say JJ IS NOT A HEADLINER and it is a huge effing ripoff to have him there! ___bottom line!___

woogie846
01-22-2008, 08:41 PM
maybe he'll just drop out and not play.

I'm gonna go ahead and say that the headliner for Friday will not drop from the line up.

bigparade
01-22-2008, 08:47 PM
How exactly does Jack Johnson's music appeal to douchebags? This isn't Slayer or Rage or Megadeth here. His music mostly appeals to 16-30 year olds and college age kids who like to drink beer and smoke pot.

see, you're confusing douchebags with regular old assholes. And lumping all 16-30 year old's together is a little stupid. That's basically like saying "Jack Johnson's musical appeals to everyone." And there are PLENTY of college kids who smoke pot and drink who do not subscribe to the "chillaxin" sounds of Jack Johnson. These douchebags we speak of are the cargoshort, cornhole, backwards ballcap, bromo/broseph/brodo(don't wear the ring) fratdaddy guys you only really see at shows like JJ or DMB or WSP or WTFEver. Hope that clears stuff up for you.

Loserh8tr
03-13-2008, 10:24 AM
All you JJ haters need to get a life and create your own success rather than trash talking how successful he is. WOW--the jealousy is alive--MOVE ON--how pitiful you are!

CalmerThanYou
03-13-2008, 10:31 AM
For what it's worth, I'll take the kind of fans that Jack Johnson brings in any day over last year's RATM fans.

I know it's on the first page, but god do i second this. NOTHING wrong with scantily clad college chicks getting wet. Nothing at all...

humanoid
03-13-2008, 04:50 PM
seriously guys.....Jack Johnson and Elliott Smith are almost the same....seriously...right??? sorry, fuck you

Sonicifyouwantit
03-13-2008, 09:25 PM
[QUOTE=im so indie;421802]Out of my 4500 or so songs on my computer, none belong to Jack Johnson.


There isn't much of a difference between Jack and other singer/songwriters (Will Sheff, Colin Meloy, Conor Oberst, Britt Daniel, Dan Auerbach, Elliot Smith, etc. etc. etc.)

They're all just different people from different places with different styles and sounds. They all sit down with a gutiar or piano and make music.

so there is no difference...besides all the differences you named.

of my 60000 song hard drive I do have 3 of his albums on there, its what happens when you share hard drives with everyone. No shame in it.

Sonicifyouwantit
03-13-2008, 09:26 PM
All you JJ haters need to get a life and create your own success rather than trash talking how successful he is. WOW--the jealousy is alive--MOVE ON--how pitiful you are!

ok jack johnson we get it, its really you

PassiveTheory
03-13-2008, 09:31 PM
really?? Dave Matthews Band would be soooooo much fucking better than Jack Johnson.. I would rather see DMB than Portis..zzzzzzzzz..Head..

http://www.p42.org/funny/kill%20yourself.bmp

miscorrections
03-13-2008, 09:36 PM
I wish this thread were actually an expose of Jackstraw.

Sonicifyouwantit
03-13-2008, 10:00 PM
I wish this thread were actually an expose of Jackstraw.

well, we've known he doesnt like unpunctual rock stars for some time now, we just didnt realize how deep his dislike for them ran.

JebusLives
03-14-2008, 07:46 AM
I always just thought he was boring. I didn't dislike him, per se; he evoked no strong emotions in me whatsoever.

NOW I'm angry.

Harrisment
03-14-2008, 07:59 AM
The motherfucker did a music video with an animated monkey. Srsly.

Sonicifyouwantit
03-14-2008, 11:03 AM
The motherfucker did a music video with an animated monkey. Srsly.

someday I will too!

BlackSwan
03-14-2008, 11:18 AM
the problem i have with Jack Johnson headlining half of the festivals in this country is that there was no buzz about him before it happened. nobody was clamoring to see Jack Johnson, but he is being forced on everyone. he decides to make a new album and all of the sudden he is everywhere.

that asshole smile he has in the photo of him on the cover of Rolling Stone seems directed towards everyone who is pissed about the fact the he is taking the position of another big name that if it were anyone else would be way better.

I would rather see Madonna than Jack Johnson and that is fucking sad.

Sonicifyouwantit
03-14-2008, 11:20 AM
I'll take 6 more justice threads before one more jack thread at this point