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View Full Version : Office Basket Thievery - Tensions Rising



full on idle
12-14-2007, 01:38 PM
One area in our office received a basket yesterday containing many gourmet goods, lots of cookies and chocolates. The basket also contained a smoked salmon, some kindof expensive cheese and a cutesy silver cheese spreader.

TODAY THE FISH, CHEESE AND SPREADER ARE GONE AND NO ONE'S OWNING UP TO TAKING IT.

The manager of the department just loudly exclaimed, "WHO STEALS A SPREADER????"

full on idle
12-14-2007, 01:39 PM
You could slice the air with that spreader right now if you could find it!

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 01:42 PM
DUN DUN DUNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnn......

captncrzy
12-14-2007, 01:43 PM
so, they took the fish and cheese and left the chocolates and cookies? Hmmm.


http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/dem-cheeses-moved.jpg

suprefan
12-14-2007, 01:44 PM
Ysterday, I took the whole box of peanut brittle AND chocolate covered cashews. Nobody said jack. Also may I point out our ''gift basket'' was a 'gift tub'' and somebody took all the stuff out and took the tub home cuase they wanted to put plants in it.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 01:45 PM
One area in our office received a basket yesterday containing many gourmet goods, lots of cookies and chocolates. The basket also contained a smoked salmon, some kindof expensive cheese and a cutesy silver cheese spreader.

TODAY THE FISH, CHEESE AND SPREADER ARE GONE AND NO ONE'S OWNING UP TO TAKING IT.

The manager of the department just loudly exclaimed, "WHO STEALS A SPREADER????"

What the fuck is a cheese spreader? Who ever took the fish is a deviant. Do you have any deviants in your office?

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 01:46 PM
Ysterday, I took the whole box of peanut brittle AND chocolate covered cashews.

You're going to get fat eating that shit, brah.

Courtney
12-14-2007, 01:46 PM
They left the chocolate? Most unusual.

Do you have any diabetics in the office? Because clearly this thief did not have his/her priorities straight.

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 01:49 PM
edit for salmons.

suprefan
12-14-2007, 01:49 PM
You're going to get fat eating that shit, brah.

I walk around for the most part of my 8 hour day, so I think Ill be ok.... I have only finished the cashews, over the period of 24 hours, wasnt even that much. I have the peanut brittle at home, its yummy.

full on idle
12-14-2007, 01:50 PM
UPDATE:

They found the cheese. REPEAT: The cheese has been recovered.

It was slammed down in frustration by one department member when the realization hit that the spreader is still at large.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 01:51 PM
I walk around for the most part of my 8 hour day, so I think Ill be ok.... I have only finished the cashews, over the period of 24 hours, wasnt even that much. I have the peanut brittle at home, its yummy.

You're a fucking fat Christmas thief. I hope Santa turns your peanut brittle into peanut smegma, you scrupuless nurse!

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 01:52 PM
10 bucks says its at the bottom of the basket.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 01:52 PM
UPDATE:

They found the cheese. REPEAT: The cheese has been recovered.

It was slammed down in frustration by one department member when the realization hit that the spreader is still at large.

Do you mean a cheese slicer?

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 01:53 PM
its not Velveeta.

is it?

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 01:56 PM
This thread is intense. I need details, but im impatient.

Glamour Damaged
12-14-2007, 02:01 PM
Do you mean a cheese slicer?

No, pretty sure they mean a cheese spreader:

http://www.agoragifts.com/images/34844.jpg

psychic friend
12-14-2007, 02:02 PM
that's really cheesy to steal a spreader during the holiday season.

Mr.Nipples
12-14-2007, 02:03 PM
http://oscomps.homestead.com/Dowling/FatherDowlingMyste.jpg

thefunkylama
12-14-2007, 02:04 PM
Sometimes cheeseballs come in spreadable form. There are other kinds of fancy spreadable cheeses that are not Velveeta. Probably the basket had those. Possibly it could be Velveeta, too, though.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:09 PM
No, pretty sure they mean a cheese spreader:

http://www.agoragifts.com/images/34844.jpg

That's retarded. Just get a fucking knife. I'm anti-cheese spreader. Why isn't it a peanut butter spreader? What's the difference?

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:10 PM
Or a butter spreader.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:11 PM
Or a nutella spreader. (gag)

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:11 PM
Or a jam spreader.

miscorrections
12-14-2007, 02:12 PM
Why not preserves?

miscorrections
12-14-2007, 02:13 PM
Or marmalade.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:16 PM
Or a schmaltz spreader.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:17 PM
Why not preserves?

There's no difference between jam and preserves. Is there?

full on idle
12-14-2007, 02:18 PM
GUYS. Guys. It came in the basket next to the spreadable cheese. Don't stay angry.

miscorrections
12-14-2007, 02:23 PM
There's no difference between jam and preserves. Is there?

According to Smuckers:


Q. What is the difference between jelly, jam, and preserves?

A. JELLY is made from fruit juice. Jelly is clear and firm enough to hold its shape when turned out of its container.

JAM is made from a blend of crushed pieces of fruit and fruit puree.

PRESERVES contain whole or large pieces of fruit, making them thicker and more fruit-filled than jams or jellies.

MARMALADE is jelly with shreds of citrus fruit peel.

CONSERVES are jams made from a mixture of citrus fruits and can also include nuts.

FRUIT BUTTERS are made from fruit pulp and sugar cooked together. There is no butter in fruit butter. The term may have developed to describe the appearance of the product or because it is a spread.

CHUTNEY and RELISH are flavorful, seasoned condiments with a consistency similar to jam. Chutney is typically made with fruits and relish is typically made with vegetables.

Courtney
12-14-2007, 02:26 PM
There's no difference between jam and preserves. Is there?

Paging John to the thread.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 02:28 PM
You're going to get fat eating that shit, brah.

... define "get."

ShyGuy75
12-14-2007, 02:29 PM
that's really cheesy to steal a spreader during the holiday season.

Not your best work here.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:33 PM
According to Smuckers:

Fuck Smuckers. Preserves = Jam. Jam = Preserves. Fuck them. They think they own the fruit spread world.

mountmccabe
12-14-2007, 02:51 PM
The most important difference is that jelly sucks and preserves and/or jams are awesome.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:52 PM
The most important difference is that jelly sucks and preserves and/or jams are awesome.

We have no quarrel here. Jelly is a fucking sham. My wife buys it on occasion and I refuse to eat it on toast. It's like fruit syrup. PUKE.

mountmccabe
12-14-2007, 02:53 PM
Just underneath that in importance is that the smoked salmon and cheese spreader are found.

mountmccabe
12-14-2007, 03:02 PM
Most companies and people are lazy and don't distinguish between jams and preserves. Are you lazy Yablo? I am assuming you are too lazy to even answer.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 03:04 PM
You should put out an APB for Hamburglers and Hamburgler-like individuals.

mountmccabe
12-14-2007, 03:15 PM
Preserves and Jams are both spreads made from whole fruit.

Preserves are chunks of fruit in a thick, fruity sugar syrup. This doesn't mean they have to be made with sugar, exactly, but they often are. Preserves are preserved fruit.

Jams are (somewhat) uniformly pureed, mashed and/or crushed fruit. They are usually sweetened but they don't have that sugar syrup base. I don't count it as a jam if it has large chunks of fruit. Jams are jammed fruit.

suprefan
12-14-2007, 04:28 PM
You're a fucking fat Christmas thief. I hope Santa turns your peanut brittle into peanut smegma, you scrupuless nurse!

Its Jam bitch............................





And yeah, cheese spreader being taken? Corny as hell....



Case in point, I took a box of mini baguettes today before I left. They had ran out of this good italian cheese spread so I gotta grab some so I can eat that.

prettydirtything
12-14-2007, 04:30 PM
Preserves and Jams are both spreads made from whole fruit.

Preserves are chunks of fruit in a thick, fruity sugar syrup. This doesn't mean they have to be made with sugar, exactly, but they often are. Preserves are preserved fruit.

Jams are (somewhat) uniformly pureed, mashed and/or crushed fruit. They are usually sweetened but they don't have that sugar syrup base. I don't count it as a jam if it has large chunks of fruit. Jams are jammed fruit.

what about "fruit spread"? I was trained to look for that.... And I bought some at trader joes last week. Its code for 100% fruit and fruit juice sweetened... no corn syrup, added sugar, or lousy chunks of orange peel...

its just fruit you spread....


http://www.healthydelight.net/shop/images/0021908632032.JPG

mountmccabe
12-14-2007, 05:31 PM
Preserves and Jams are both fruit spreads. Marmalades are also fruit spreads. And none of them are necessarily sweetened with corn syrup or sugar. You can look on the ingredients label to find that out.

And the problem with this definition for Fruit Spread as a specific entity is that it tells me nothing of the texture of the fruit inside. I mean I would assume that it is jam.

Is it jam?

thefunkylama
12-14-2007, 05:38 PM
From the label, we can determine that most probably it is a blueberry flavored cascade of spreadable goo.

PineapplePete
12-14-2007, 09:07 PM
my mommy makes good strawberry...preserve i guess? i dunno, she puts a buttload of sugar on strawberries, lets em sit in the fridge for a few days...then puts em in a pot and boils em or something. Thats it...its yummy

Hannahrain
12-14-2007, 09:13 PM
Unless your mommy's strawberry preserves have the crime-solving finesse of Sherlock Holmes, they're completely irrelevant.

Hannahrain
12-14-2007, 09:13 PM
Seriously though, do they? That would be amazing.

invisiblerobots
12-14-2007, 09:24 PM
http://bp0.blogger.com/_F_2xvc04me0/RukITTGYWOI/AAAAAAAALWc/tRugrjRRFPY/s400/Poster.jpg

fatbastard
12-15-2007, 06:36 PM
http://www.buyzillion.com/Images/0762412364/medium.jpg

vinylmartyr
12-15-2007, 08:34 PM
N1zL13LvxS8

Yablonowitz
12-15-2007, 11:55 PM
Preserves and Jams are both spreads made from whole fruit.

Preserves are chunks of fruit in a thick, fruity sugar syrup. This doesn't mean they have to be made with sugar, exactly, but they often are. Preserves are preserved fruit.

Jams are (somewhat) uniformly pureed, mashed and/or crushed fruit. They are usually sweetened but they don't have that sugar syrup base. I don't count it as a jam if it has large chunks of fruit. Jams are jammed fruit.

http://www.fotosearch.com/thumb/ART/ART269/COM045.jpg

Wheres the beef?
12-16-2007, 12:41 AM
We have no quarrel here. Jelly is a fucking sham. My wife buys it on occasion and I refuse to eat it on toast. It's like fruit syrup. PUKE.

Fuck that and fuck you. I dont have time for your fruit chunks bullshit and trying to decide "oh is jam or is it a preserve? Oh well a jam has THIS much fruit in it." Fuck that shit. Goddamit I have things to do! No no no no no. Jelly is the only way to go.


/sarcasm

Wheres the beef?
12-16-2007, 12:44 AM
This thread reminds me of when I worked at Safeway corporate headquarters. Every week someone would roll in with a giant box of free samples. It was too the point that I almost didnt have to shop. One week I rolled out with something like 4 things of peanut butter and 5 jars of jams/jelly/preserve cause it was there and nobody wanted it. That job was fucking awesome in that regard. And super shitty in regards to what I was actually getting paid to do. Plus I was in charge of the feminine products/adult incontinence/baby products section for every fucking Safeway in America. Not the most exciting section for a 20 something guy.

Cpt. Funkaho
12-16-2007, 01:58 AM
Plus I was in charge of the feminine products/adult incontinence/baby products section for every fucking Safeway in America.

If there were ever a man for that job, kingsblend, that man is you.

woogie846
12-16-2007, 08:53 AM
The most important difference is that jelly sucks and preserves and/or jams are awesome.

Not even jelly with peanut butter?

Wheres the beef?
12-16-2007, 09:50 AM
If there were ever a man for that job, kingsblend, that man is you.

Well I do know that the Northeast has a higher proportionate of adult incontinence sections than others.

mountmccabe
12-16-2007, 03:23 PM
what about "fruit spread"? I was trained to look for that.... And I bought some at trader joes last week. Its code for 100% fruit and fruit juice sweetened... no corn syrup, added sugar, or lousy chunks of orange peel...

its just fruit you spread....


http://www.healthydelight.net/shop/images/0021908632032.JPG

I was going to buy some of this today but I looked at the ingredients (http://www.cascadianfarm.com/products/product_detail.aspx?cat=17&upc=0-21908-63203-2) and the very first ingredient is sugar. There's more added sugar in there than there are blackberries. This is the case with all their "fruit spreads;" they add more sugar than fruit.

Gross.

So their "fruit spread" is just code for we don't know proper terminology so we're going to use a generic term.

mountmccabe
12-16-2007, 03:27 PM
Not even jelly with peanut butter?

Certainly not. I eat jam or preserves with peanut butter.

Gelled fruit juice is gross.

I used to not eat any fruit spreads at all until I picked up on the difference between jelly and jams & preserves.

thinnerair
12-16-2007, 03:32 PM
John,
What kind of Jelly/Preserves/Fruit Spread/ Gooey Fruit Shit/misc. do you prefer when making a PB&J ?

mountmccabe
12-16-2007, 03:59 PM
I generally pick preserves and rotate between different fruits such as strawberry, cherry and blueberry. Sometimes I'll buy jam. No matter which though I'll look for ones that are sweetened with sugar or fruit juice instead of corn syrup.

I currently have a jar of Bonne Maman Cherry Preserves. Bonne Maman is a huge French brand but they're still better than the American equivalents such as Smuckers. It is half gone.

I also have a jar of Smuckers Strawberry Jam from when I last wanted to remember what that was like. It is only about a third gone despite being bought before the Cherry Preserves. And before the blueberry preserves that my mother got me in Michigan.

mountmccabe
12-16-2007, 04:01 PM
And, just in case it needs to be said, natural, nutty peanut butter. Or freshly ground almond butter. But I guess that would be an AB&J so scratch that.

And I add a bit of salt.

Ardentbiscuit
12-16-2007, 05:04 PM
I have worked in an office for years and I have to tell you people will steal anything not nailed down.

I'll give you a brief list of what has been stolen over the years.

1. Bagel cutter.

2. Case of Toilet paper (only single ply).

3. Numerous 5 Gallon jugs of bottled water.

4. Extension cords.

5. Seriously out of date computer.

6. Packing Tape.

7. Packets of Hot chocolate.

8. Equal packets.

9. Styrofoam cups.

10. Plastic utensils.

11. Paper plates.

12. Lobby flowers and plants.

I could go on but just sickens me how people will steal anything.

thinnerair
12-16-2007, 05:59 PM
And, just in case it needs to be said, natural, nutty peanut butter. Or freshly ground almond butter. But I guess that would be an AB&J so scratch that.

And I add a bit of salt.

I don't think Ive ever had almond butter.
Maybe that's more of a confession.

thelastgreatman
12-16-2007, 06:00 PM
Cashew butter kicks more ass than almond butter. FACE, McCabe.

full on idle
12-16-2007, 07:50 PM
I happen to know of a Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival Message Board Poster who steals plastic cutlery from his work. I'm not naming names, but just be advised that there is a thief amongst us.

Yablonowitz
12-16-2007, 08:19 PM
8. Equal packets.




I could go on but just sickens me how people will steal anything.


You get sickened that people steal Equal packets? I'm sickened that your work provides it.

Somewhat Damaged
12-16-2007, 08:36 PM
I have worked in an office for years and I have to tell you people will steal anything not nailed down.

I'll give you a brief list of what has been stolen over the years.

1. Bagel cutter.

2. Case of Toilet paper (only single ply).

3. Numerous 5 Gallon jugs of bottled water.

4. Extension cords.

5. Seriously out of date computer.

6. Packing Tape.

7. Packets of Hot chocolate.

8. Equal packets.

9. Styrofoam cups.

10. Plastic utensils.

11. Paper plates.

12. Lobby flowers and plants.

I could go on but just sickens me how people will steal anything.

Hey, who here hasn't taken a roll of toilet paper from work when you didn't want to make a trip to the store before payday?

tessalasset
12-16-2007, 09:21 PM
I have worked in an office for years and I have to tell you people will steal anything not nailed down.

I'll give you a brief list of what has been stolen over the years.


7. Packets of Hot chocolate.

8. Equal packets.

9. Styrofoam cups.

10. Plastic utensils.

11. Paper plates.



All I'm wondering is how you even noticed these were gone. Does your office have like five forks?

All That I Am
12-16-2007, 09:59 PM
Someone delivered a gift basket for my boss an hour before he arrived this morning. The first thing I did was search for a cheese spreader, but there was none. This did however have a small box with smoked salmon, 'sup with that?

psychic friend
12-16-2007, 10:14 PM
people at my work steal red bull and smart water. i have yet to see the results of that.

leo01g
12-16-2007, 10:30 PM
You're a fucking fat Christmas thief. I hope Santa turns your peanut brittle into peanut smegma, you scrupuless nurse!

Thats one of the most disgusting/funny things ive ever read! omg I couldnt stop laughing.

tessalasset
12-17-2007, 12:12 AM
supre's title should be changed to scrupulous nurse.

dani i take redbull from the kitchen (never from your desk if that's what you meant) and bring it over to my office since we don't get a weekly delivery of that sweet sugarey goodness.

tessalasset
12-17-2007, 12:12 AM
only like four cans every week or so tho.

full on idle
12-17-2007, 05:16 AM
U-G-H

Tessa, you are an educated American, there is no excuse for posting words in teenaged-texting form.

Yablonowitz
12-17-2007, 07:41 AM
All I'm wondering is how you even noticed these were gone. Does your office have like five forks?

Yeah, who pays attention to plastic utensils. That's really stupid. Nobody I know would do that. So far, anyway. Not that I'm saying anything. Because I'm not. I'm just genuinely surprised that someone would take the effort to notice that some plastic utensils were thieved. Jesus, are there people like that? That would be really sad and wrong. Employees should feel free to access plastic utensils at their discretion anyway. What else are they for?

J~$$$
12-17-2007, 07:42 AM
Its because he is the thief. Way to go, y'alls lose at CLUE.

Yablonowitz
12-17-2007, 07:44 AM
Its because he is the thief. Way to go, y'alls lose at CLUE.

Why, that's just insane enough to be believed!

Ardentbiscuit
12-17-2007, 08:32 AM
The reason we notice is because of this.

Someone took an entire case of toilet paper. That's 100 rolls. It's a giant box. They would have had to fill their entire car to take it.

They took 3 boxes of knives, 3 boxes of forks, 3 boxes of spoons.

There are 500 in each pack. They took friggin 4500 plastic cutlery.

They took 2 boxes of equal. There are 500 in each box. That's 1000 packs of equal.

I think it is totally out of hand.

thinnerair
12-17-2007, 08:35 AM
The reason we notice is because of this.

Someone took an entire case of toilet paper. That's 100 rolls. It's a giant box. They would have had to fill their entire car to take it.

They took 3 boxes of knives, 3 boxes of forks, 3 boxes of spoons.

There are 500 in each pack. They took friggin 4500 plastic cutlery.

They took 2 boxes of equal. There are 500 in each box. That's 1000 packs of equal.

I think it is totally out of hand.

And you watched this all happen and did nothing. How do you sleep at night?
Unless you stole all this stuff...in which case, you sleep like that shit bear.

http://pulpinc.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/imgp1641.jpg

Ardentbiscuit
12-17-2007, 08:36 AM
The reason we provide this stuff is because everyone who works here is an independent contractor so we have to provide them with stuff like this in the office.

And no I didn't steal the stuff.

We came in the next morning and the stuff was missing.

The cabinets that they were locked in were pryed open. We had to get out a handy man and locksmith to repair it.

TomAz
12-17-2007, 08:51 AM
you keep your styrofoam cups under lock and key?

full on idle
12-17-2007, 08:54 AM
Ardent Biscuit has demonstrated the necessity of said lock and key, Tom.

Ardentbiscuit
12-17-2007, 09:01 AM
Unfortunately everything here is under lock and key. People break into the cabinets and other locked areas and steal everything they can. Our corporate office refuses to install cameras.

It's a tough life for them being independent contractors. They get paid by commission only and get desperate when times are tough.

It hurts the office in the long run. And it's hard for us to keep things under control when people don't care about anything except themselves. And they steal even if it hurts everyone in the office.

thinnerair
12-17-2007, 09:11 AM
Unfortunately everything here is under lock and key. People break into the cabinets and other locked areas and steal everything they can. Our corporate office refuses to install cameras.

It's a tough life for them being independent contractors. They get paid by commission only and get desperate when times are tough.

It hurts the office in the long run. And it's hard for us to keep things under control when people don't care about anything except themselves. And they steal even if it hurts everyone in the office.

You must work with a bunch of shitty dudes.

J~$$$
12-17-2007, 09:13 AM
It sounds like prison, and ardentbiquit is a trustee.

SFChrissy
12-17-2007, 09:17 AM
those cheese spreaders are great for pbj's!!!

J~$$$
12-17-2007, 09:19 AM
Thanks.

TomAz
12-17-2007, 09:30 AM
those cheese spreaders are great for bj's!!!

:::

Hannahrain
12-17-2007, 09:31 AM
These spreaders I stole sure make great big-pile-of-drugs dividers.

thinnerair
12-17-2007, 09:33 AM
These spreaders I stole sure make great big-pile-of-drugs dividers.

i LOL'ed. And I NEVER LOL.

thelastgreatman
12-17-2007, 10:44 AM
I stole an entire computer one component at a time from my first tech job back in Jersey. Johnny Cash wrote a song about it afterwards but changed it to a Cadillac. Fucking tweaker.

PotVsKtl
12-17-2007, 10:46 AM
I consider everything I can pick up and carry in my workplace "mine." This is why I can bench press a couch.

thelastgreatman
12-17-2007, 10:47 AM
With his dick. WITH HIS DICK.

PotVsKtl
12-17-2007, 10:50 AM
Well I didn't want to brag.

thelastgreatman
12-17-2007, 10:51 AM
Dude, I couldn't have moved that pool table without you. Boast freely.

Yablonowitz
12-17-2007, 11:04 AM
I stole an entire computer one component at a time from my first tech job back in Jersey. Johnny Cash wrote a song about it afterwards but changed it to a Cadillac. Fucking tweaker.

As soon as I saw Hannahs post about drug dividers, I thought to myself, "here comes a Wang post." Sure enough, next post was from Wang.

Strangely, though, it wasn't about drugs. I think he just can smell any post in which illegal substances are mentioned. He smells drug posts.

Somewhat Damaged
12-17-2007, 03:07 PM
The reason we notice is because of this.

Someone took an entire case of toilet paper. That's 100 rolls. It's a giant box. They would have had to fill their entire car to take it.

They took 3 boxes of knives, 3 boxes of forks, 3 boxes of spoons.

There are 500 in each pack. They took friggin 4500 plastic cutlery.

They took 2 boxes of equal. There are 500 in each box. That's 1000 packs of equal.

I think it is totally out of hand.

Well, that does sound pretty bad. What I posted before about toilet paper was in regards to taking a single roll, not 100. That's insane!

SFChrissy
12-17-2007, 03:17 PM
Where's the cheese spreader???

tessalasset
12-17-2007, 03:24 PM
The reason we notice is because of this.

Someone took an entire case of toilet paper. That's 100 rolls. It's a giant box. They would have had to fill their entire car to take it.

They took 3 boxes of knives, 3 boxes of forks, 3 boxes of spoons.

There are 500 in each pack. They took friggin 4500 plastic cutlery.

They took 2 boxes of equal. There are 500 in each box. That's 1000 packs of equal.

I think it is totally out of hand.
ok yeah that's totally different from taking some packets of equal. this is a bonafide thief. that's ridiculous.

captncrzy
12-17-2007, 06:41 PM
I stole a red Swingline stapler from my last job. It's my prized possession.

full on idle
12-18-2007, 12:54 PM
We just got a HUGE box of these:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/brownies.jpg

full on idle
12-18-2007, 12:54 PM
Everyone is jealous of us today.

J~$$$
12-18-2007, 01:11 PM
What is NiB?

miscorrections
12-18-2007, 01:13 PM
Nibs are little pieces of the bean, usually. So probably tiny crunchy bits of coffee bean.

miscorrections
12-18-2007, 01:13 PM
Cacao nibs are the fucking bomb.

J~$$$
12-18-2007, 01:15 PM
ahhhh I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY!!!!!!!

TomAz
12-18-2007, 01:15 PM
when have you seen caco's nibs?

miscorrections
12-18-2007, 01:16 PM
When he put on a webcam show a week ago. Shame you weren't invited.

TomAz
12-18-2007, 01:16 PM
if by shame you mean blessing, I agree.

full on idle
12-20-2007, 05:49 PM
In a sick twist of fate, an anonymous joker sent this photograph to my phone this afternoon:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/imagejpeg_2.jpg

The text read, "I admit it, I stole it!"

What kind of person does this on Christmas. I don't even know.

prettydirtything
12-20-2007, 07:34 PM
In a sick twist of fate, an anonymous joker sent this photograph to my phone this afternoon:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y209/VJHStarr/imagejpeg_2.jpg

The text read, "I admit it, I stole it!"

What kind of person does this on Christmas. I don't even know.

how did it reach your phone w/ out a number attached? even if you got spammed over bluetooth, you could get csi on that.... hhmmmm....

bluetooth has a 20 foot range, it was a tmobile or att subscriber most likely (verizon locks down their bluetooth usually)... camera phone... no class. Likes cheese.
How many of those do you work with?? ;-)



nobody is anonymous... if all else fails, ask dick cheney. he knows....

cansei de ser sexme
12-20-2007, 07:44 PM
YOU DON"T KNOW DICK!

full on idle
12-20-2007, 07:46 PM
how did it reach your phone w/ out a number attached? even if you got spammed over bluetooth, you could get csi on that.... hhmmmm....

bluetooth has a 20 foot range, it was a tmobile or att subscriber most likely (verizon locks down their bluetooth usually)... camera phone... no class. Likes cheese.
How many of those do you work with?? ;-)



nobody is anonymous... if all else fails, ask dick cheney. he knows....

haHA! +10

Jenniehoo
12-23-2007, 02:30 PM
Hey wait so what happened to the spreader? I just read this entire goddamned thread looking for some closure only to get NONE. This is BULLSHIT and I'm tired of these GAMES YOU PLAY.

Hannahrain
12-23-2007, 05:37 PM
Jennie, this isn't CSI. You don't get all your answers all wrapped up in an hour with the help of lasers and fancy camerawork. This is the real deal. True crime. You may NEVER have closure. You might die without knowing who stole the spreader. This is something you need to accept.

thelastgreatman
12-23-2007, 08:16 PM
Has anyone asked the black guy? There's your real police work.

Jenniehoo
12-23-2007, 10:31 PM
Jennie, this isn't CSI. You don't get all your answers all wrapped up in an hour with the help of lasers and fancy camerawork. This is the real deal. True crime. You may NEVER have closure. You might die without knowing who stole the spreader. This is something you need to accept.

Dammit.

If I wanted this kind of ambiguity, I would go back and rewatch the last season of LOST. I need my answers wrapped up in tight 48 minute segments or I get distracted. Oh look, that dog has a puffy tail...

(I'm disgusted that I just insulted one of my favorite shows, but nothing else seems to convey the ambiguity I'm going for. Paula Poundstone?)

((I actually am one of the only people that thinks Paula Poundstone used to be funny. Now I double hate myself. Maybe I'll just go eat an entire cheesecake and save us all some time.))

(((I actually hate cheesecake.)))

((((Thinking about cheesecake made me think about the missing cheese spreader again and now I'm just as angry as I was when I started talking. WE NEED CLOSURE.))))

(((((This looks like what I'm saying is in DOLBY STEREO)))))

Yablonowitz
12-24-2007, 07:37 AM
Paula Poundstone was/is? funny. Fuck anyone who thought/thinks? otherwise.

captncrzy
12-24-2007, 07:40 AM
Has anyone asked the black guy? There's your real police work.

haha

Yablonowitz
12-24-2007, 07:42 AM
haha

Hey, what do you think you're doing. It's Christmas Eve. GO back to bed and cease ruining my board winning attempts. This would up my cred like by 1000.

Jankypirate
01-16-2008, 02:35 PM
I deliver groceries. We often deliver to offices and they have me unload the stuff in the break rooms. Whenever theres good food laying around and they dont stay in the room I load it up in my empty containers and wheel it right out haha. Christmas time is awesome, Im rolling around in the delivery truck feasting on cheese and salmon and chocolate.

Hate all you want but if you havent noticed im a fucking pirate. :)

For the record though I never steal peoples personal food just the office stuff sitting out on the tables.

Jankypirate
01-16-2008, 02:41 PM
I worked at a county garage for a summer as an intern mechanic. I stole just about every day, motor oil for life, filters, wiper blades, shop towel rolls, brake cleaner, starter fluid, batteries, bearing grease, duct tape, silicone gasket maker, hand cleaner.

By far the best though was one night near the end of my internship I drove a $4000 security golf cart we had just fixed right off the garage property and stashed it in the desert around the corner, then after work I loaded it up in the bed of my truck and drove it home. Pwned.

Loved that job.

And again for the record I never stole anyones personal tools or stuff, just county paid for stuff. Think of it as compensation for the fucking taxes they took out of my paychecks.

J~$$$
01-16-2008, 02:42 PM
You go boy.

fatbastard
01-16-2008, 02:50 PM
You have only yourself to live with Valjean.

Hannahrain
01-17-2008, 06:56 AM
Think of it as compensation for the fucking taxes they took out of my paychecks.

This sure is unique to you and you alone. You'd better get vigilante on us and even the score. It's not fair of the government to pick on you specifically like that.

Hannahrain
01-17-2008, 06:58 AM
You're an idiot, I mean.

thelastgreatman
01-17-2008, 06:59 AM
I love how America has the lowest tax rates of any major industrialized nation but is full of jerkoffs vehemently indignant about the government taking their money and turning it into bullshit like roads, schools, and police and fire departments. Thieving bastards, they is.

Hannahrain
01-17-2008, 07:01 AM
Office paycheck thievery. Tensions rising.

fatbastard
01-17-2008, 07:02 AM
This reminds me of a story that was in the times a couple of weeks ago. Edison had to send out people to weld shut the light boxes on city lights because people have removed "56,000" feet of copper to sell for recycle.

J~$$$
01-17-2008, 07:03 AM
"Hate all you want but if you havent noticed im a fucking pirate."
= dumbest pirate evah.

I stoled from the government cuz they done stole mah monies for taxes.

I wonder where they will get the monies to replace the stolen items........

prettydirtything
01-17-2008, 01:12 PM
Hey wait so what happened to the spreader? I just read this entire goddamned thread looking for some closure only to get NONE. This is BULLSHIT and I'm tired of these GAMES YOU PLAY.

another mystery added to the big box of unanswered questions....

http://www.tvshowsondvd.net/graphics/news3/UnsolvedMysteries_Ultimate.jpg

amyzzz
01-17-2008, 01:14 PM
I never checked out this thread because I thought it was some new band I hadn't heard of.

full on idle
01-17-2008, 01:18 PM
It's probably hard to follow with me on ignore.

The spreader was never recovered, Hoo.

TomAz
01-17-2008, 01:18 PM
And again for the record I never stole anyones personal tools or stuff, just county paid for stuff. Think of it as compensation for the fucking taxes they took out of my paychecks.

in case the preceding remarks are too subtle for you to grasp, let me dumb it down for you a bit: you're an asshole.

amyzzz
01-17-2008, 01:26 PM
I have just removed everyone from ignore.

Jankypirate
01-17-2008, 09:52 PM
Hahaha. Saw those coming.

Its not that I think we should not have to pay any taxes or that I think Im being singled out.

The roads (for example) are paid for primarily by gasoline taxes. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. This means no state income tax (You all are kind enough to come give us all your money in our casinos).

What pisses me off is the federal income taxes we are forced to pay. While some funding is necessary for a federal government, I feel my taxes are being used irresponsibly.

For example: We are spending ourselves far into debt on this imperialistic war that was sold to the public based on lies, while New Orleans needed much more federal assistance than it recieved after Katrina.

This is all beside the point though. I have absoulutely no quams about steeling from government entities or large corporations as I am not in any way directly hurting any individual. Its like living off the fat of the land, urban style. And I happen to live in a fucking obese land.

And yes, I am an asshole

Cpt. Funkaho
01-18-2008, 03:07 AM
Theory: Jankypirate is a Delta alias.

STATED.


Funny story: When New York City first was installing electric lights on the subway system, they realized they needed a way to keep people from stealing the bulbs, as light bulbs were more expensive then.

Their eventual solution: they made the lightbulbs screw in backwards from ordinary bulbs (counter-clockwise). It sounds like it would be a really easy system to circumvent, but apparently it worked. It's kind of enlightening with regard to the criminal I.Q.

TomAz
01-18-2008, 08:50 AM
uh. isn't it not that they couldn't circumvent the system, but rather, the backwards bulbs would be totally useless to other users? so that there's no point in stealing them?

SFChrissy
01-18-2008, 08:51 AM
what ever happened to the cheese spreader