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downingthief
12-14-2007, 11:54 AM
2 toddlers abandoned near strip club
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 14, 2007 12:50 PM

Police are seeking a motorist who pulled up to the back of a central Phoenix business Friday morning and left two toddlers by a trash bin, including a toddler wearing only a T-shirt and diaper

The unidentified driver, who was in a white sedan, was captured at about 4 a.m. by a surveillance camera of a strip club at Seventh and Virginia avenues.

The children -- a girl believed to be about 9 months old and a boy about a year-and-a-half old -- were discovered by a garbage collector about 5:30 a.m.

They were taken to a hospital and found to be in good shape, despite being out on a morning when the overnight low was 42 degrees. Phoenix police say they will turned over to state Child Protective Services.

Anyone with information is encouraged to call Phoenix police at 602-262-5151.

marooko
12-14-2007, 11:56 AM
you have to jump through hoops to adopt a child, but any fuckface with a couple minutes to spare can have a fucking kid. beautiful.

kreutz2112
12-14-2007, 12:03 PM
lets adopt a modern version of eugenics.

Courtney
12-14-2007, 12:05 PM
That is horrible. And makes me think that maybe safe haven laws for the abandonment of children should extend beyond the usual 3-5 day cutoff.

J~$$$
12-14-2007, 12:10 PM
Maybe the person was drunk and mistook the box of puppies for their kids.














I know......Merry christmas.

marooko
12-14-2007, 12:11 PM
if the parents agree to be put to sleep.

ruetheday
12-14-2007, 12:13 PM
idiots shouldn't be allowed to write news articles. A nine month old and a 1 and 1/2 does not equal two toddlers. those are just two babies.

marooko
12-14-2007, 12:18 PM
rue, i think my list of people ignoring me is longer than yours. get to work.

thefunkylama
12-14-2007, 12:47 PM
my list of people ignoring you, on the other hand, is miles long.

captncrzy
12-14-2007, 01:44 PM
Christ...if they wanted to abandon their kids, why didn't they do it outside of a hospital or a church? Fucking scumbags.

At least they weren't murdered, which has happened, I'm sure.

kitt kat
12-14-2007, 01:49 PM
idiots shouldn't be allowed to write news articles. A nine month old and a 1 and 1/2 does not equal two toddlers. those are just two babies.

this is true.

ugh. people.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 01:56 PM
idiots shouldn't be allowed to write news articles. A nine month old and a 1 and 1/2 does not equal two toddlers. those are just two babies.

You're half right.

The 18 month old is a toddler.

Courtney
12-14-2007, 02:00 PM
Some dictionaries base the definition of "toddler" upon the child's ability to walk, no upon his or her age. I'm not entirely sure that there's a hard and fast definition.

marooko
12-14-2007, 02:03 PM
my list of people ignoring you, on the other hand, is miles long.

did you read my post?

kreutz2112
12-14-2007, 02:24 PM
I think she was saying that she is aware of more people that are ignoring you than you are aware of.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 02:35 PM
I measure it by their ability to toddle. Call me literal...

blakely
12-14-2007, 02:37 PM
im toddling right now. its quite enjoyable.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:37 PM
Some dictionaries base the definition of "toddler" upon the child's ability to walk, no upon his or her age. I'm not entirely sure that there's a hard and fast definition.

I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of 18 month old HUMAN earthlings are toddlers.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 02:38 PM
And non-Earthlings?

THEY WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE MONTHS.

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 02:40 PM
I think they'd call them Mid Size Time Clusters (MSTC).

blakely
12-14-2007, 02:41 PM
And non-Earthlings?

THEY WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE MONTHS.

yeah...


http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7553/morans2rn.jpg

gaypalmsprings
12-14-2007, 02:42 PM
http://egypt.picturecontact.com/Images/Items/JDW09667-L.jpg

Yablonowitz
12-14-2007, 03:00 PM
yeah...


http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7553/morans2rn.jpg

Your standard St. Louis Cardinals fan.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 03:01 PM
Look, I told the stripper to lose the kids and I'd take her to Vegas. I didn't ask how.

SFChrissy
12-14-2007, 03:04 PM
Ohhh God...I can't wait to hug my babies when I get home!!!

blakely
12-14-2007, 03:32 PM
Look, I told the stripper to lose the kids and I'd take her to Vegas. I didn't ask how.

thats hilarious.

thelastgreatman
12-14-2007, 04:19 PM
No, what's hilarious is I left her in Reno.

STRIPPER FACE

blakely
12-14-2007, 04:37 PM
ahh, the jewel of the west. great town, reno. i lost a kidney there a few years back.

Deviate_420
12-14-2007, 08:29 PM
I WAS LOOKING FOR MY KIDS!!!!

Cpt. Funkaho
12-15-2007, 06:05 AM
I shot a man's kidney in Reno once, just to watch it die.

Yablonowitz
12-15-2007, 09:06 AM
I shot a man's kidney in Reno once, just to watch it die.

Part of myself chastised the other part of myself that made me laugh at that remark.

TomAz
12-15-2007, 11:04 AM
2 toddlers abandoned near strip club
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 14, 2007 12:50 PM

Police are seeking a motorist who pulled up to the back of a central Phoenix business Friday morning and left two toddlers by a trash bin, including a toddler wearing only a T-shirt and diaper

The unidentified driver, who was in a white sedan, was captured at about 4 a.m. by a surveillance camera of a strip club at Seventh and Virginia avenues.


I'm really surprised no one's made a breastfeeding joke yet.

PassiveTheory
12-15-2007, 11:06 AM
We're waiting for Drunkoffbreastmilk to do that...

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 12:35 PM
Ohhh God...I can't wait to hug my babies when I get home!!!

That's hilarious

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 12:36 PM
Chrissy, your kids found their way home? Goddammit, I was sure I'd driven far enough this time.

Yablonowitz
12-15-2007, 12:50 PM
Chrissy, your kids found their way home? Goddammit, I was sure I'd driven far enough this time.

See....this joke expired 24 hours ago.

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 12:52 PM
My humor is timeless.

WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE MONTHS!

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 12:56 PM
"WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE MONTHS!"

I'm still laughing.

Learn what's funny yabs.

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 12:59 PM
Rue The Day and The Last Great Man in 08! We both have definite articles--we know what the fuck is going on!

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:03 PM
I'm already President.

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:09 PM
Can I be Secretary Of Getting It ON?

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:16 PM
I'll think about it. I was going to offer that role to Scott Baio. But seeing as how he is getting married now and has a kid on the way he might not be fit. I wonder if Willie Aames would be down.

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:24 PM
I have a way better willie.

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:26 PM
I have a way better willie.

that was disappointing. You can do better than that, are you hung over or something?

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:27 PM
Oh gee, I'm sorry I didn't have a winner for you leading off your brilliant Scott Baio and Willie Ames pitch.

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:31 PM
You could have done something better with Scott Baio and Willie Aames. I mean c'mon it's fucking Willie Aames. You could have made reference to his drug and alcohol struggles. His status as born-again Christian or you could have brought up the fact that he is too busy playing Bible Man on TBN. But no you come at me with I have a better willie. Fucking pathetic.

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:32 PM
I have a little bit more class than a joke about Willie Ames, thank you very much.

...

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:36 PM
...

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:39 PM
As long as no one talks about it those ellipses will stay hilarious.

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 01:51 PM
...

thelastgreatman
12-15-2007, 01:53 PM
That was too much. YOU FUCKED IT UP

ruetheday
12-15-2007, 02:00 PM
damnt. I'm terrible. I feel like a bad person. I'm going to go cut myself now.

schoolofruckus
12-15-2007, 02:40 PM
I love how the first post was titled "Some people should never be allowed to breed" and the next one - boom, there's marooko. Point made.