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View Full Version : Do not have sex with your bicycle.



Stefinitely Maybe
11-15-2007, 08:05 AM
Cycle-sexualist placed on sex offender's register. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/14/nbikesex114.xml)

I don't really think he did anything wrong, though. If a man wants to have sex with his bike within the privacy of his own bedroom, who are we to stop him?

Hannahrain
11-15-2007, 08:09 AM
That's ridiculous. If he wants to have sex with a bicycle in the privacy of his own home, it's his business.

As long as it's not my bicycle, I mean.

full on idle
11-15-2007, 08:14 AM
but I want to have babies with wheels

Hannahrain
11-15-2007, 08:15 AM
Think of the money you'd save on strollers!

full on idle
11-15-2007, 08:17 AM
amirite

Steez
11-15-2007, 08:28 AM
Really though, that would be like, if some dude was fucking a bag of spaghetti.


2 years probation for the spaghetti fucker Denny Soto!

canexplain
11-15-2007, 08:41 AM
the first time i saw Tori Amos i thought she was having sex with her piano seat ... yikes, she was soooooooooooooooo :) canx**

algunz
11-15-2007, 08:55 AM
I am curious as to what sex with a bicycle entails? I can't think of a comfortable hole, maybe if he took the seat off and did it with the seat post, but he'd have to have a really slim penis. If he was the one being penetrated, did he choose the seat post or maybe the cranks? Oh maybe the handlebars, as long he didn't have bar ends. I am flummoxed.

marooko
11-15-2007, 09:07 AM
I am curious as to what sex with a bicycle entails? I can't think of a comfortable hole, maybe if he took the seat off and did it with the seat post, but he'd have to have a really slim penis. If he was the one being penetrated, did he choose the seat post or maybe the cranks? Oh maybe the handlebars, as long he didn't have bar ends. I am flummoxed.

the cranks hole is pretty big so unles he is that's not gonna work. Depending on how old the bike is he could remove the axles and the hub should be pretty lubed up.

TomAz
11-15-2007, 09:33 AM
the maids knocked. repeatedly. and he kept at it. he knew what he was in for.

sonofhal
11-15-2007, 09:41 AM
"I want to ride my Bicycle" etc

PassiveTheory
11-15-2007, 09:44 AM
So that's how Lance Armstrong got cancer.

miscorrections
11-15-2007, 09:47 AM
You slay me.

algunz
11-15-2007, 09:52 AM
the cranks hole is pretty big so unles he is that's not gonna work. Depending on how old the bike is he could remove the axles and the hub should be pretty lubed up.

I didn't think about the hub. That's a lot of work to go through when your hand is available.

marooko
11-15-2007, 11:02 AM
I didn't think about the hub. That's a lot of work to go through when your hand is available.

actually, taking apart a hub is really easy. generally you dont even need tools. haha. tool.

rage patton
11-15-2007, 03:09 PM
marooko... you seem to have experience in this...

amyzzz
11-15-2007, 03:10 PM
marooko... you seem to have experience in this...

It makes sense.

Yablonowitz
11-15-2007, 03:14 PM
marooko... you seem to have experience in this...

It never ceases to amaze me that there are still some people who don't have marooko on ignore.

That said, sex with a bike is all about your decision making.

marooko
11-15-2007, 04:59 PM
marooko... you seem to have experience in this...

yes, i have been riding bikes since i was like 13.

bmack86
11-15-2007, 05:17 PM
According to the article, he said he was doing that as a joke with the maids. I don't buy it, but that'd be a really strange sense of humor. And, he was drunk

kroqken
11-22-2008, 10:23 PM
It has been a year. I wonder if the bicyclist has been rehabilitated.