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Courtney
07-14-2012, 12:16 AM
The shower is the best place to blow your nose. The heat and humidity cause the nasal turbinates to contract, so you can get extra shit outta your head that you wouldn't be able to evacuate as easily otherwise. Still no comparison to a neti pot though.

This is less of a confession and more of a self-evident statement of truth.

nyarlathotoats
07-14-2012, 05:37 PM
Last night I tried that Spice shit for the first time; felt like i was high, and turned into a babbling idiot.

2nd Confession: I will smoke more soon.....

Mugwog
07-15-2012, 03:47 AM
^ Dude don't smoke fake weed. Just buy real weed.

nyarlathotoats
07-15-2012, 05:01 AM
Muggy, I'm a little worried though; random testing!

Mugwog
07-15-2012, 05:08 AM
Muggy, I'm a little worried though; random testing!

cranberry, cardio, veggies - smoke after you piss test ;)

then you treat yourself to some stoner meal like kfc

there is no telling what crap is in those spices!

obzen
07-15-2012, 06:02 AM
That spice shit is booboo.

RageAgainstTheAoki
07-15-2012, 01:59 PM
I uhh... I just awoke from a nap with major sniffles, a slight cough and two blond pubes in my mouth. Quite certain I started my nap alone. Is this some kind of new Scandinavian flu?


(Oh, and, my parents are from Mumbai. So, no, I'm not blond.)

Mugwog
07-15-2012, 02:02 PM
This sounds like a craigslist missed connection

RageAgainstTheAoki
07-15-2012, 03:27 PM
Good idea (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mis/3141628370.html), Mugwog!

Mugwog
07-15-2012, 03:32 PM
Good idea (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mis/3141628370.html), Mugwog!


I look like a cross between Ryan Gosling and the night clerk at the 7-Eleven on Kingsley and 3rd.
Lulz

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
07-15-2012, 03:37 PM
that 7-11 is like 4 blocks from my girlfriend's house. I park next to it all the time.

RageAgainstTheAoki
07-15-2012, 03:38 PM
And where were you at around 2:45 this afternoon, blondie?

locachica73
07-15-2012, 07:19 PM
Sometimes when I smoke too much I wonder if the inside voice made it out. I hate when that happens.

Riggins33
07-15-2012, 07:27 PM
Sometimes when I smoke too much I wonder if the inside voice made it out. I hate when that happens.

You should probably stop doing drugs and give your life to god and his son Jesus Christ.

locachica73
07-15-2012, 07:39 PM
Lol, next week.

SoulDischarge
07-15-2012, 08:25 PM
Spent the majority of the evening masturbating when I should have been watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and sleeping so I can go into work early tomorrow.

Was in my cab today and it was pouring out and I started freaking out because I thought it was rolling forward on its own despite being in park and I couldn't stop it. Realized the car next to me was backing up really slowly.

I'm fascinated with the smell of the gunk behind my ears. Amongst other bodily build ups.

Mugwog
07-15-2012, 08:28 PM
Spent the majority of the evening masturbating when I should have been watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and sleeping so I can go into work early tomorrow.


At least you acknowledge your priorities

cormaic
07-15-2012, 09:08 PM
Sometimes when I smoke too much I wonder if the inside voice made it out. I hate when that happens.



I do this quite frequently.

RageAgainstTheAoki
07-16-2012, 07:34 PM
I actually got a few responses to that CL missed connections posting^. Most of them were gross, of course. But, then I got this one. I think I'm in love. If this is someone from here, make yourself known!

This was the message:

http://i45.tinypic.com/30nk9ad.jpg


And this was the attached picture:

http://i45.tinypic.com/10zr4w6.jpg

obzen
07-17-2012, 08:01 AM
There is this girl at work that I tend to ignore because every other guy there seems to jock her; I just recently found she will be quitting soon and I find myself sort of bugged out about it.

ENluv12
07-17-2012, 08:09 AM
I cheated on my diet last night. I don't feel guilty.

ThatGirl
07-17-2012, 08:59 AM
There is this girl at work that I tend to ignore because every other guy there seems to jock her; I just recently found she will be quitting soon and I find myself sort of bugged out about it.

Now that she's quitting there will be no coworker awkwardness. Why not take a chance now?

algunz
07-17-2012, 02:34 PM
I'm in a dive bar and have just listened to Ice Ice Baby and Hotel California and enjoyed them both.

obzen
07-17-2012, 03:18 PM
Now that she's quitting there will be no coworker awkwardness. Why not take a chance now?

It would seem contrived.

amyzzz
07-17-2012, 04:09 PM
I turned in a co-worker for doing something dumb -- she electronically set an item to be followed up on 10 days later instead of 1 or 2 days later. Not a big deal, but I don't usually bother. Such is the tedium of my life here at the phone company.

algunz
07-17-2012, 04:10 PM
Amy, you are such a tattle-tale.

locachica73
07-17-2012, 04:16 PM
I have nothing in my fridge except beer and condiments.

amyzzz
07-17-2012, 04:18 PM
I have a beer and condiments.

ThatGirl
07-17-2012, 04:26 PM
I'm having chips and beer for dinner.

JustSteve
07-17-2012, 05:44 PM
i had strawberry short cake.

getbetter
07-17-2012, 09:21 PM
Those Daring Young Men in Their Flying Machines . . . Ain't What They Used to Be! By Hunter S Thompson is fucking great.

algunz
07-17-2012, 09:39 PM
I have to close one eye to read.

obzen
07-17-2012, 10:10 PM
People keep telling me I need to smile more, but I don't want to because it'll eventually make me look old.



I'm really not vain though -- got it?!

lickety_spit
07-24-2012, 02:53 AM
I think I'm bisexual.

malcolmjamalawesome
07-25-2012, 12:45 PM
Still pissed about Recyclesaurus Rex

algunz
07-25-2012, 12:57 PM
I think I'm bisexual.

Awesome.

algunz
07-25-2012, 12:58 PM
Still pissed about Recyclesaurus Rex

They put so much effort into her, she's got to show up again somewhere.

JorgeC
07-25-2012, 03:43 PM
i'm making a collage of all of Tommy's cockshots. i'm thinking flaccid on the left to rock hard on the right. Thoughts?

miscorrections
07-25-2012, 03:43 PM
Consider a flip-book instead of a collage.

SoulDischarge
07-25-2012, 03:44 PM
Thoughts?

I'd be willing to consult after seeing a rough draft.

guedita
07-25-2012, 03:46 PM
Print them out on cardstock and make a house of cards.

SoulDischarge
07-25-2012, 03:46 PM
Consider a flip-book instead of a collage.

Use this .gif as inspiration.

http://i446.photobucket.com/albums/qq182/jackfreon/SCANNERS.gif

JorgeC
07-25-2012, 03:46 PM
Consider a flip-book instead of a collage.

i like this. i could slap the book against my face and by the end i'd be almost the same thing. i'd need a little lotion dispenser attached for full effect.

JustSteve
07-25-2012, 03:49 PM
so it's comparable in size to of one of those little flip-books?

JorgeC
07-25-2012, 03:54 PM
a big flipbook...the biggest flipbook you've ever seen x 10.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
07-25-2012, 03:54 PM
You should start a Pintrest board.

amyzzz
07-25-2012, 04:48 PM
I think I have made Walgreen's candy runs every day this week. My family definitely have sweet teeth. Or sweet tooth. Not sure which sounds better.

malcolmjamalawesome
07-25-2012, 04:59 PM
I think I have made Walgreen's candy runs every day this week. My family definitely have sweet teeth. Or sweet tooth. Not sure which sounds better.

Well, your family "has" ___, for starters, you dope.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-25-2012, 05:21 PM
Well, your family "has" ___, for starters, you dope.

BURN

ThatGirl
07-25-2012, 06:48 PM
I wasn't entirely truthful when I told the Doctor about often/how much I drink alcohol today.

malcolmjamalawesome
07-25-2012, 07:03 PM
I wasn't entirely truthful when I told the Doctor about often/how much I drink alcohol today.

Did you tell him you only have 1 bottle of wine per tinychat session

ThatGirl
07-25-2012, 07:31 PM
Did you tell him you only have 1 bottle of wine per tinychat session

I prefer to lie in a way that makes sense to most people.

Miroir Noir
07-25-2012, 11:01 PM
I was sincerely and totally happy to win a horrible St Patty's Day-themed t-shirt that I'll never actually wear at bar trivia tonight.

guedita
07-25-2012, 11:26 PM
Well, your family "has" ___, for starters, you dope.

Where the fuck have you been, bitch?

SepaGroove
07-26-2012, 11:53 AM
The real question is, where is Goatchella?

Mugwog
07-26-2012, 12:07 PM
In the desert being a wookie

miscorrections
07-27-2012, 06:41 PM
I confess that I'm wearing a sequined fannypack, cat sweatshirt, and false eyelashes and I'm not even close to being embarrassed.

bmack86
07-27-2012, 06:45 PM
I confess that I'm wearing a sequined fannypack, cat sweatshirt, and false eyelashes and I'm not even close to being embarrassed.

This sounds eerily similar to your ATP 2009 get up.

captncrzy
07-27-2012, 09:17 PM
My asshole is burning.

No, Rick is not on fire.

Gribbz
07-27-2012, 10:30 PM
This Widmer Brothers Drifter Pale ale tastes like a vagina.

EDIT* I guess that's not a confession. It tastes good. There.

locachica73
07-27-2012, 10:52 PM
I ditched boys who bought me drinks to meet my dealer. This is why I am not ready to date.

miscorrections
07-28-2012, 12:50 AM
This sounds eerily similar to your ATP 2009 get up.

I suppose the greater confession is that in three years I haven't changed. If anything I'm more into being a social retard than I was previously.

obzen
07-28-2012, 06:11 PM
I have this fixation with women's knees/knee pits, shoulders and yes, feet.




I'm an animal.

IceyHotshot
07-29-2012, 12:27 AM
I have this fixation with women's knees/knee pits, shoulders and yes, feet.




I'm an animal.

lul

BROKENDOLL
07-29-2012, 01:42 AM
When I was but a toddler, I used to get a really bad heat rash in my knee pit area.
And tonight I was a tippler and I couldn't tell you what happened 3 hours ago, but I scraped my knee.

BROKENDOLL
07-29-2012, 01:43 AM
...fuck if I didn't forget to mention the part about the tequilka and Grand Marnier.

BROKENDOLL
07-29-2012, 01:46 AM
I feel like a fucking animal right now.

MR.NOVEMBER
07-29-2012, 01:53 AM
:puke:puke

Hannahrain
07-30-2012, 08:58 AM
I just vomited an intact squid tentacle.

miscorrections
07-30-2012, 09:07 AM
Are you a squid incubator?

mountmccabe
07-30-2012, 09:12 AM
Not any more.

miscorrections
07-30-2012, 09:15 AM
If she only horked one tentacle there's still a squid down there wriggling around in amputated pain.

Hannahrain
07-30-2012, 09:44 AM
I'm a fucking magician, is what I am. It started as an apple core.

nyarlathotoats
08-04-2012, 11:30 AM
So I totally was talking shit to a girl because she was getting with the guy i wanted. This all went down last night while I was quite intoxicated. I kinda hate myself, but fuck it.

locachica73
08-07-2012, 05:13 AM
I am developing a bit of a work crush.

gaypalmsprings
08-07-2012, 05:15 AM
So I totally was talking shit to a girl because she was getting with the guy i wanted. This all went down last night while I was quite intoxicated. I kinda hate myself, but fuck it.

Did you get the guy?

cansei de ser sexme
08-07-2012, 05:40 AM
I cried yesterday/today for the first time since I was grounded in 3rd grade for getting bad grades. Crying felt really good. Being single feels awful.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 06:56 AM
I think I had a sex dream about someone on the board.

locachica73
08-07-2012, 06:58 AM
I think I had a sex dream about someone on the board.

This confession reminded me that I had a sex dream last night as well. I have no idea who I was with but neither of us were able to reach the happy ending, even my sex dreams are disappointing. :(

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 07:02 AM
My sex dreams usually involve masturbating in a bathroom or some shit, so don't feel bad.

ENluv12
08-07-2012, 07:11 AM
At least you have sex dreams. I never do.

locachica73
08-07-2012, 07:12 AM
I don't usually but I am out of weed so my dreams are becoming much more vivid again. Which I am not a huge fan of.

ENluv12
08-07-2012, 07:16 AM
Hmmm.... Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of dreams!

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 07:17 AM
I like vivid dreams, but I don't usually have night terror type dreams. I think maybe I have the masturbation/bathroom dreams because that is my first masturbation memory -- in the school bathroom when I was 5. I did not realize exactly what I was doing at the time.

ENluv12
08-07-2012, 07:20 AM
Now that's a confession.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 07:39 AM
Well at least I was thinking about anything weird.

PlayaDelWes
08-07-2012, 08:00 AM
I think I had a sex dream about someone on the board.
Been there done that. The best part was her line "You're actually pretty good at this".

Courtney
08-07-2012, 08:04 AM
I think I had a sex dream about someone on the board.

This is a horrible failure of a confession without naming names. You too, Wes.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:06 AM
All I will say is he is older than I am.

Courtney
08-07-2012, 08:08 AM
Oh well that's totally understandable. Not many of us are immune to Ron's animal magnetism.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:14 AM
Indeed.

locachica73
08-07-2012, 08:17 AM
Oh well that's totally understandable. Not many of us are immune to Ron's animal magnetism.

This made coffee come out of my nose, it burned.

Courtney
08-07-2012, 08:22 AM
I have had sex dreams that I can recall about 5 board members since I became a member of this board in 2007. That's kind of a lot now that I think about it. But I also have had a sex dream about the guy who makes my coffee, and I once had one about my bike repair person, so I'm not sure that's really saying a lot.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:25 AM
I think I've only had sex dreams about people I know I'm attracted to, so I guess they mean something. But for me, any sex feeling is better than nothing at all right now.

locachica73
08-07-2012, 08:30 AM
Most of my sex dreams involve people I would not normally have sex with, both men and women. Or they are just faceless people who I don't even know. I have also had several dreams where I am a guy fucking some chick, which I suppose is pretty weird.

HotHamWater
08-07-2012, 08:31 AM
I've definitely had a sex dream involving at least 3 members of the board (not at the same time).

Courtney was one of them.

TomAz
08-07-2012, 08:32 AM
I remember sex dreams.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:34 AM
It wasn't you.

JorgeC
08-07-2012, 08:36 AM
I've been reading a lot of Game of Thrones lately and all my sex dreams involve fucking Cersei or some knight. Usually after drinking lots of Arbor wine.

marooko
08-07-2012, 08:36 AM
This is a horrible failure of a confession without naming names. You too, Wes.


I have had sex dreams that I can recall about 5 board members since I became a member of this board in 2007. That's kind of a lot now that I think about it. But I also have had a sex dream about the guy who makes my coffee, and I once had one about my bike repair person, so I'm not sure that's really saying a lot.

What you said.

I've had dreams with board members, but not sex dreams. The closest was the other night, a boardie was sending me pictures that would go in the nude pic/non-ban thread, but they weren't of her. It was pretty funny. It was the same board member I've mentioned before, which is odd to me considering we don't interact here, or anywhere for that matter.


I think I've only had sex dreams about people I know I'm attracted to, so I guess they mean something. But for me, any sex feeling is better than nothing at all right now.

Good confession.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:43 AM
I just started a higher dose of antidepressants, and I'm wondering if that is making me lower my guard here a little too much. I should probably just STFU, right?

Robin
08-07-2012, 08:46 AM
I've definitely had a sex dream involving at least 3 members of the board (not at the same time).

Courtney was one of them.

And the others are.... ?

Courtney
08-07-2012, 08:47 AM
What you said.

Two of them were from when I was in relationships with people who post on the board, so they are not really that exciting. The other three were Tommy, Drinkey and Sean.

And actually, I just thought of one more. Clearly I have a very active subconscious.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:48 AM
Hmm Drinkey.

HotHamWater
08-07-2012, 08:50 AM
And the others are.... ?

One was someone from the board with whom I was in a relationship. So, as Courtney said, it wasn't that much of a leap or exciting. I seem to remember Corinna appearing in a sex dream of mine. I think Ivy was in one, too.

I'm sure you'll make an appearance soon enough, Robin.

marooko
08-07-2012, 08:50 AM
No you should not shut up, Amy.

guedita
08-07-2012, 08:51 AM
I apologize if anyone's had a sex dream with me and if I rudely commented on your junk or just listlessly laid there watching television.

Courtney
08-07-2012, 08:51 AM
Cara, if you were in my sex dreams I would insist that you keep the fanny pack ON. And it would be excellent.

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 08:52 AM
hahaha fanny pack.

marooko
08-07-2012, 08:55 AM
You just looked at me like this...

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c367/Mugwog/Publicity/angrygingerboosh.jpg

guedita
08-07-2012, 08:55 AM
Haa. Next person I have sex with is going to get the full fanny pack treatment after that suggestion.

Courtney
08-07-2012, 09:00 AM
YES.

HotHamWater
08-07-2012, 09:01 AM
I apologize if anyone's had a sex dream with me and if I rudely commented on your junk or just listlessly laid there watching television.

And I apologize that I haven't banged you in a dream. Was our real-life sex that unspectacular?

guedita
08-07-2012, 09:23 AM
And I apologize that I haven't banged you in a dream. Was our real-life sex that unspectacular?

YOU KEPT SANDSTORM ON REPEAT BRO

Robin
08-07-2012, 09:23 AM
I've only had sex dreams about those I've dated from the boards. I really need to open my imagination up a bit more.

thefunkylama
08-07-2012, 09:33 AM
I have dream-sexed so many of the people from this board that I've lost track.





...Also, it's been a few years.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
08-07-2012, 09:40 AM
The only person I ever dream sex is my mom :(

amyzzz
08-07-2012, 10:42 AM
I've developed a new belly laugh to go with my big belly.

Mugwog
08-07-2012, 11:02 AM
I apologize if anyone's had a sex dream with me and if I rudely commented on your junk or just listlessly laid there watching television.

This is my dream sexual experience scenario

RageAgainstTheAoki
08-07-2012, 12:01 PM
Had a mortifying experience earlier this morning. Was working from home because a repairman was coming to fix my a/c. iTunes was on shuffle on my laptop while I was working in the living room. Repairman arrived. Nice African American gentleman named Artie. I went to use the bathroom. When I returned to the living room, Radiohead's "House of Cards" had ended and we were a minute into track six from Patti Smith's Easter (http://www.allmusic.com/album/easter-mw0000652295).

bettycarolyn
08-07-2012, 12:25 PM
i accidentally farted at my desk while my boss was talking to me...it was one of those SBD ... :sorry

RotationSlimWang
08-07-2012, 12:39 PM
I challenge any woman on this board who has met me in person to not have had a sex dream about me. Unless, of course, you're a lesbian, which you are if you try to deny it.

Robin
08-07-2012, 12:42 PM
I challenge any woman on this board who has met me in person to not have had a sex dream about me. Unless, of course, you're a lesbian, which you are if you try to deny it.

Challenge accepted!

guedita
08-07-2012, 12:43 PM
I challenge any woman on this board who has met me in person to not have had a sex dream about me. Unless, of course, you're a lesbian, which you are if you try to deny it.

I'm currently having a waking sex nightmare about you and it's making my coworkers uncomfortable.

chairmenmeow47
08-07-2012, 12:43 PM
Had a mortifying experience earlier this morning. Was working from home because a repairman was coming to fix my a/c. iTunes was on shuffle on my laptop while I was working in the living room. Repairman arrived. Nice African American gentleman named Artie. I went to use the bathroom. When I returned to the living room, Radiohead's "House of Cards" had ended and we were a minute into track six from Patti Smith's Easter (http://www.allmusic.com/album/easter-mw0000652295).

i needed a CD to test speakers when i worked at radio shack years ago. so i pulled out a random mix cd of mein. i went to the front of the store to grab someone, and then heard one song end and another begin. "DUN-DU-DUN-DUN-DUN, DUN-DU-DUN-DUN-DUN, BIG BOOTY HOES, HUT WID IT!!!!!! LET ME SEE YOU TOUCH THE GROUND". i RAN to
the back to turn that shit off lol.

SlowMotionApocalypse
08-08-2012, 08:37 AM
My butt hurts

locachica73
08-08-2012, 08:49 AM
My work crush called me sunshine today and I got giddy like a school girl. I really need to find a friend.

Mugwog
08-08-2012, 11:38 AM
My work crush called me sunshine today and I got giddy like a school girl. I really need to find a friend.

http://www.manufacturer.com/cimages/product/www.alibaba.com/0326/u/50121545_50554465_Pocket_Mini_Stimulator_Pocket_Ro cket_Vibrator.jpg

locachica73
08-08-2012, 11:41 AM
lol, yeah yeah. Everyone brings that up, it's gotten to the point that when my alarm goes off in the morning (the first 3 are on vibrate mode), instead of waking me up it just makes me dream of vibrators. I prefer a person.

amyzzz
08-08-2012, 11:43 AM
I don't like vibrators either. At least I don't care for the vibration.

Dogvolta
08-08-2012, 11:59 AM
http://www.manufacturer.com/cimages/product/www.alibaba.com/0326/u/50121545_50554465_Pocket_Mini_Stimulator_Pocket_Ro cket_Vibrator.jpg

Heh, I've purchased that same one before, hot pink and all. She seemed to enjoy it.
My gf once told me that to test how intense the vibration can be for a girl, turn the vibrator on and put it against the tip of my nose.
Can't say it felt the greatest.

sbconnection
08-08-2012, 12:55 PM
I skipped the gym today to get stoned on banana bread and lurk the boards. :)

Also, I cried yesterday. It had been a while since that happened.

Courtney
08-08-2012, 12:56 PM
Dammit we really have to do a baked goods swap.

fatbastard
08-08-2012, 12:57 PM
Why did you cry?

sbconnection
08-08-2012, 01:01 PM
My mom is a festering cunt, thats why!

amyzzz
08-08-2012, 01:02 PM
I can get behind banana bread. Yum.

Robin
08-08-2012, 01:38 PM
Dammit we really have to do a baked goods swap.

mmmm...
Around the Christmas holiday, if I have time, I'll bake a crapload of cookies. Usually chocolate chip, peanut butter blossoms and snicker doodles. A few years ago, when I didn't have a job, I baked over 500 cookies.

guedita
08-08-2012, 01:39 PM
I will bake nothing and eat everything.

Robin
08-08-2012, 01:42 PM
I will bake nothing and eat everything.

i just want you to sit there and look pretty..... with chocolate all over your face.

locachica73
08-08-2012, 01:54 PM
I really need to learn to bake. The only time I have had edibles is when I am at coachella and someone else made them.

Robin
08-08-2012, 01:56 PM
Crap. Missed the post about getting stoned off baked good.
I don't make edibles.

amyzzz
08-08-2012, 01:57 PM
Maybe we should have a baking day, Audra.

marooko
08-08-2012, 01:58 PM
I miss my baking days. :(

RageAgainstTheAoki
08-08-2012, 02:01 PM
i needed a CD to test speakers when i worked at radio shack years ago. so i pulled out a random mix cd of mein. i went to the front of the store to grab someone, and then heard one song end and another begin. "DUN-DU-DUN-DUN-DUN, DUN-DU-DUN-DUN-DUN, BIG BOOTY HOES, HUT WID IT!!!!!! LET ME SEE YOU TOUCH THE GROUND". i RAN to
the back to turn that shit off lol.


I'm not sure why this was embarrassing. Were there some unusually well anchored women in the store at the time?

OnlyNonStranger
08-08-2012, 02:12 PM
I confess that I am happy that two people are being laid off.

java-do
08-08-2012, 02:23 PM
I really need to learn to bake. The only time I have had edibles is when I am at coachella and someone else made them.

It's not that hard,it's just about following the recipe at least that what i've learned.

locachica73
08-08-2012, 02:29 PM
I don't normally bake, or follow recipes. I have been told how to make the butter a few times but just haven't done it. Amy, yes, that sounds like a good plan.

fatbastard
08-08-2012, 02:29 PM
My mom is a festering cunt, thats why!

Cut her some slack. She'll be dead one day and you'll have all the bad names to live with.

ThatGirl
08-08-2012, 05:59 PM
I confess that I am happy that two people are being laid off.

Ouch - you must really not like these people.

chairmenmeow47
08-08-2012, 06:08 PM
audra, i was afraid for many years. you gotta try one you like. i like the evolved ones. but i don't think you need one to have fun with yourself :)

and i'm much better at baking than cooking. i make some pretty mean scones and cookies. and those cheese pastries at rock band were gone before i could finish the one i grabbed!

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/21NbZMhSR4L._AA300_.jpg


I'm not sure why this was embarrassing. Were there some unusually well anchored women in the store at the time?

no, it's just that radio shacks tend to be filled with conservative types who probably wouldn't appreciate the rest of the 2liveCrew song. though, i'm sure they'd like "KEEP RUNNING YO' MOUTH AND IMMA STICK MY DICK IN IT". all the former military people who want to ask detailed questions about ham radios or talk about how women shouldn't be working there.

so i guess it wasn't so much embarrassing as kinda funny.

locachica73
08-08-2012, 06:24 PM
I have owned many vibrators, I actually had about $400 worth at one point thanks to a pleasure party where all my kinky friends gave me the credits from all of their purchases, do you know how hard it is to blow through $400 in vibrators? I am a big fan, it's just not something I enjoy doing by myself. And really, it shouldn't be this hard to find a fucking friend... I use to have 3 on the line at one time. I have lost my game, or my ability to put up with bullshit, I am not sure which.

Ivy, I don't know where to find cheap weed, but I am going to research and we are going to bake some scones!

Confession, I just had an inappropriate conversation with an inappropriate person, then realized how inappropriate it was so I stopped and now he is telling me everything that is wrong with me.

miscorrections
08-08-2012, 06:27 PM
It's not hard to spend $400 in vibrators if it's not your own money.

locachica73
08-08-2012, 06:29 PM
It was just soooo much pressure, I had bullets and bullet sleeves and vibrators that came in all shapes and colors, and I still had money to spend.

miscorrections
08-08-2012, 06:31 PM
I could easily blow $400 on just three vibrators. Quality counts.

TomAz
08-08-2012, 06:31 PM
Had a mortifying experience earlier this morning. Was working from home because a repairman was coming to fix my a/c. iTunes was on shuffle on my laptop while I was working in the living room. Repairman arrived. Nice African American gentleman named Artie. I went to use the bathroom. When I returned to the living room, Radiohead's "House of Cards" had ended and we were a minute into track six from Patti Smith's Easter (http://www.allmusic.com/album/easter-mw0000652295).

oh shit.

SoulDischarge
08-08-2012, 06:33 PM
There's plenty of black people out there listening to hip hop songs that flaunt the word f"aggot" around rather freely without getting all self conscious about it. So that makes it all ok, right?

locachica73
08-08-2012, 06:35 PM
I could easily blow $400 on just three vibrators. Quality counts.

I don't know, I bought the high end model at some point, the stupid bunny that everyone raved about, it spun in circles like it was stirring cake batter, I was not a fan. I prefered my $20 cheap version.

chairmenmeow47
08-08-2012, 06:41 PM
my twat is just as cheap as i am.

locachica73
08-08-2012, 06:48 PM
I wouldn't go with cheap... just not high maintenance.

miscorrections
08-08-2012, 07:31 PM
I don't know, I bought the high end model at some point, the stupid bunny that everyone raved about, it spun in circles like it was stirring cake batter, I was not a fan. I prefered my $20 cheap version.

Have you ever been to a higher end adult store? You won't find spinning rabbits. Trust me, there's a huge world of toys out there and even just looking at different kinds/shapes/materials could open your eyes and maybe change your mind. I mean, I do alright with cheaper things, but in terms of toy design really understanding working with anatomy, it can be worth it to shell out. I know there's not a physical storefront in Arizona but do a little digging around Babeland online.

miscorrections
08-08-2012, 07:42 PM
In an actual confession I left my vodka at someone else's house while dogsitting and since I'm way too lazy to go back and grab it I'm making ghetto drinks out of whatever I have in my freezer/fridge. Amaretto, Fireball, and pomegranate soda should probably be really gross but maybe I don't have any tastebuds left because it's not terrible.

getbetter
08-08-2012, 08:24 PM
In an actual confession I left my vodka at someone else's house while dogsitting and since I'm way too lazy to go back and grab it I'm making ghetto drinks out of whatever I have in my freezer/fridge. Amaretto, Fireball, and pomegranate soda should probably be really gross but maybe I don't have any tastebuds left because it's not terrible.

You get extra points if this was before noon in my book of awesome people

RedHotSgtPeppers
08-08-2012, 08:43 PM
Have you ever been to a higher end adult store? You won't find spinning rabbits. Trust me, there's a huge world of toys out there and even just looking at different kinds/shapes/materials could open your eyes and maybe change your mind. I mean, I do alright with cheaper things, but in terms of toy design really understanding working with anatomy, it can be worth it to shell out. I know there's not a physical storefront in Arizona but do a little digging around Babeland online.

My ex got a spinning rabbit and swore by it. She could squirt like a mother fucker when she used it.

miscorrections
08-08-2012, 08:56 PM
Sure, everyone's different. It comes down to knowing what toy(s) in what combinations (or solo) work for an individual. Variety is fun!

marooko
08-08-2012, 09:04 PM
I like how it's "track six".

OnlyNonStranger
08-09-2012, 05:18 AM
Ouch - you must really not like these people.

You are correct. I really don't like people who don't do their jobs and are unwilling to help when help is needed. There are many many more reasons that I am not going to get into as I don't want to dwell on them.

RotationSlimWang
08-09-2012, 09:21 AM
I was thinking about initiating a Kickstarter page for the express purpose of sending me to rehab.

The idea got scrapped when I realized that no one would give me any money.

PlayaDelWes
08-09-2012, 09:44 AM
I was thinking about initiating a Kickstarter page for the express purpose of sending me to rehab.

The idea got scrapped when I realized that no one would give me any money.
You should go down to the park and pick up cannoning (http://static.flickr.com/27/37983378_2d58b41817.jpg?v=0) like the rest of the kids. Never know, may lead to something big.

RotationSlimWang
08-09-2012, 09:51 AM
Cannoning means something different in the circles I travel in.

Specifically, it refers to microwaving an extra large vanilla milkshake for a minute and then pouring it into your urethra and... well, you can see where it's going.

amyzzz
08-09-2012, 10:06 AM
That sounds painful. Either one.

Dogvolta
08-09-2012, 11:22 AM
Cannoning means something different in the circles I travel in.

Specifically, it refers to microwaving an extra large vanilla milkshake for a minute and then pouring it into your urethra and... well, you can see where it's going.

I confess that I have no idea how I would pour something into my urethra.

chairmenmeow47
08-09-2012, 11:25 AM
unfortunately i know how, though i use lidocaine and not milkshakes. it takes a special funnel.

and i confess that i'm likely to blow a bunch of money i don't really have tomorrow on a trumpet i want to buy off my friend :x

Somewhat Damaged
08-09-2012, 12:41 PM
unfortunately i know how, though i use lidocaine and not milkshakes. it takes a special funnel.

and i confess that i'm likely to blow a bunch of money i don't really have tomorrow on a trumpet i want to buy off my friend :x

If it's a friend, see if you can pay with something other than money.

chairmenmeow47
08-09-2012, 12:45 PM
If it's a friend, see if you can pay with something other than money.

we ain't THAT friendly ;)

it's a fairly nice trumpet for a beginner and he's offered to sell it to me several times over the years, but i was too afraid i still couldn't play. now that i know i can, i'd like to seal the deal we started 8 years ago.

i know it's not a smart move.

Tubesock Shakur
08-09-2012, 12:53 PM
Cannoning means something different in the circles I travel in.

Specifically, it refers to microwaving an extra large vanilla milkshake for a minute and then pouring it into your urethra and... well, you can see where it's going.

I dont quite get this.

RotationSlimWang
08-09-2012, 01:02 PM
Well, then you get the victim to suck your cock, and when you bust... BOOM.

amyzzz
08-09-2012, 01:09 PM
Vanilla milkshake indeed.

Dogvolta
08-09-2012, 01:17 PM
I confess that, as a very young child, I used to think that a blow job entailed actually blowing air into the urethra. Many a times as a kid I was tempted to stick a straw into my dick and blow.

chairmenmeow47
08-09-2012, 01:19 PM
did anyone not think that?

RotationSlimWang
08-09-2012, 01:20 PM
I totally remember the first time I revealed to my dad that that's what I thought it was and he looked at me like I was a fucking idiot.

... can't say I ever thought about putting a straw in my dick, though.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
08-09-2012, 01:34 PM
Well, then you get the victim to suck your cock, and when you bust... BOOM.

This is amazing.

amyzzz
08-09-2012, 01:39 PM
I think my co-worker is cute. :o

Mugwog
08-09-2012, 01:50 PM
Amy you slut.

chairmenmeow47
08-09-2012, 02:09 PM
on the same note, i remember telling my dad that taking a crap was practice for having a baby. but then he asked me why does he crap then and my whole theory was shot.

JustSteve
08-09-2012, 04:43 PM
had a friend in grade school who thought black babies were black because they came out of the pooper.

thefunkylama
08-09-2012, 04:52 PM
What a shitty kid.

locachica73
08-09-2012, 04:59 PM
I am drunk and my tab was $3.75, I love my bartender friends.

kronz420
08-09-2012, 07:16 PM
I hope you tipped well

locachica73
08-09-2012, 07:43 PM
Of course! Gotta take care of my girl.

kronz420
08-09-2012, 07:52 PM
That's good. I hate when people get hooked up and don't take care of their people

locachica73
08-09-2012, 08:05 PM
I tip on what my tab should have been plus extra. It all goes to the same place. Shots!

Somewhat Damaged
08-10-2012, 03:19 PM
When I was 16, I was home alone during summer vacation one day and browsed through my yearbook looking at pretty girls. One sophomore in particular caught my fancy and she had a unique enough last name, so I looked through the phone book and found just one listing with that last name. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Is this (whatever her name was)?
Her: Yes.
Me: Hi, this is Rick. I go to UHS, too. Do you want to hang out at the mall?
Her: Um, no.
Me: Ok, thanks.

nahuatldream
08-10-2012, 04:35 PM
YOU KEPT SANDSTORM ON REPEAT BRO

I read this post just now and I would not have had any clue whatsoever as to the reference, had I not been listening to Jim Rome (sports talk) today and heard him going on about some guy that called up to play Sandstorm on Kazoo, and segued into "Careless Whisper" by George Michael.

Neighborhood Creep
08-10-2012, 04:42 PM
I itched my anus for a straight minute through my boxers before hopping in the shower today. Felt great

Mugwog
08-10-2012, 08:16 PM
Did you smell it?

sbconnection
08-10-2012, 08:39 PM
It's not hard to spend $400 in vibrators if it's not your own money.

I knew I liked you, I couldn't quite put my finger on why before but.... GIRL! We gotta swap notes!

fatbastard
08-10-2012, 08:39 PM
My cock has a fin.

sbconnection
08-10-2012, 09:12 PM
No teeth?

cansei de ser sexme
08-11-2012, 01:46 PM
I really like the smell of the bread aisle in stores.

obzen
08-11-2012, 08:56 PM
OMG UR SO KINKY LOLZ

obzen
08-11-2012, 08:56 PM
Night bread.

locachica73
08-11-2012, 09:48 PM
I invited a boy that nick hates to hang out with me at the bar, and he's on his way. Yeah!

Mugwog
08-12-2012, 02:08 AM
A boy.

locachica73
08-12-2012, 08:28 AM
They will called boys until they prove me wrong.

Neighborhood Creep
08-12-2012, 10:21 AM
I flicked a lit cig into a crowd of people last night

Mugwog
08-12-2012, 10:23 AM
Wattadik

nathanfairchild
08-12-2012, 02:26 PM
found out that my parents cleaning lady has been stealing alcohol from their liquor cabinet, so i emptied one of the bottles of vodka she's been diluting and replaced it with water and rubbing alcohol. i am looking forward to her next visit.

Mugwog
08-12-2012, 02:28 PM
hope you dont poison your parents

RotationSlimWang
08-12-2012, 02:43 PM
That's fucking insane dude. Throw that bottle away.

RedHotSgtPeppers
08-12-2012, 04:24 PM
That's fucking insane dude. Throw that bottle away.

TOO FAR, NATHAN

locachica73
08-12-2012, 08:49 PM
I went skinny dipping for the first time in my life tonight. Single life is not so bad.

nyarlathotoats
08-12-2012, 09:34 PM
I hate helping other people out, especially when they always ask cause they're family. Fuck!

JustSteve
08-13-2012, 08:34 AM
Main reason I have never owned a pickup truck.

TomAz
08-13-2012, 08:54 AM
I used the word 'notwithstanding' in a text message to a board member this weekend. I wasn't even trying to.

stinkbutt
08-16-2012, 08:45 PM
Not much of one, but would totally try and hit on all the single women of the board IRL

Mugwog
08-16-2012, 08:49 PM
Give us the real confession: Which female board member would you approach first.

ENluv12
08-17-2012, 06:30 AM
This should be interesting!

Dogvolta
08-17-2012, 06:44 AM
The mom

stinkbutt
08-17-2012, 06:50 AM
Too drunk last night, but to answer the question probably Barb

RotationSlimWang
08-17-2012, 08:23 AM
... I know I've asked this before but you're SURE you're not gay?

obzen
08-17-2012, 05:02 PM
"This song is about deep, passionate love..."

miscorrections
08-17-2012, 07:59 PM
I paid $1.00 to win disposable underwear from a claw machine at a bar today.

Mugwog
08-17-2012, 08:04 PM
I'll pay $20 to sniff them after you have worn them.

miscorrections
08-17-2012, 08:04 PM
I really wanted the bottle of Tums but I figured the claw wouldn't be strong enough to pick it up.

SlowMotionApocalypse
08-18-2012, 08:26 AM
I click on and watch all the Yahoo cute cat videos.

algunz
08-18-2012, 08:28 AM
I'll pay $20 to sniff them after you have worn them.

They're disposable. Eat them.

fatbastard
08-19-2012, 07:21 AM
I hate people who don't return a "good morning" when walking down the street.

Mugwog
08-19-2012, 02:26 PM
They're disposable. Eat them.

Only if you're there to force me.

guedita
08-20-2012, 01:12 PM
Didn't go to work today. Eating chicken wings and watching Maury in my pajamas.

SlowMotionApocalypse
08-20-2012, 04:49 PM
I suffer from hyperhidirosis.

ENluv12
08-21-2012, 06:24 AM
Didn't go to work today. Eating chicken wings and watching Maury in my pajamas.
This sounds amazing right now.

RedHotSgtPeppers
08-21-2012, 06:52 AM
Just found out that one of my best friends got engaged. Too bad I found out over Facebook instead of from her. I mean, I'm happy for her and everything, but it I confess it kind of sucks finding out through social media instead of in person, especially with such a huge life decision like getting married.


EDIT: She just texted me. Turns out her FB was hacked. She isn't really engaged.

chairmenmeow47
08-21-2012, 06:54 AM
do you have other issues with this person?

the reason i ask is i recently found out the exact same thing of a best friend and wasn't bothered at all by finding out on facebook. i texted her and we started talking about the whole thing in a happy manner.

RedHotSgtPeppers
08-21-2012, 07:01 AM
do you have other issues with this person?

the reason i ask is i recently found out the exact same thing of a best friend and wasn't bothered at all by finding out on facebook. i texted her and we started talking about the whole thing in a happy manner.

She got hacked, apparently.

locachica73
08-21-2012, 07:05 AM
This is one of my big problems with facebook, it's now cut out the need to have actual conversations. I have had people get mad at me for not responding to their major news announcements on facebook. If they are that major they can call/text me to let me know. If I somehow miss it in their news feed because I don't live on facebook then oh well.

My nose and face are so sunburned and swollen that I have been told I look like I got collogen injections.

chairmenmeow47
08-21-2012, 07:08 AM
She got hacked, apparently.

ah, weird then. that makes more sense as to why you were stunned. in my case, the couple have lived together awhile and have contemplated marriage so it wasn't a huge shocker or anything. if not, i prolly would have felt weird about it like you did.

i actually like facebook for big announcements. i won't get mad if people miss them, but it sure is nice to say "HI EVERYONE, I'M BROKEN UP AND SINGLE AGAIN" in one swoop rather than having to have that awkward conversation with everyone i see. it's also nice for some of my health woes. my friends far away can still keep tabs on what's happening, even though we can't talk daily. but it's silly to get mad at people for not reading facebook.

mountmccabe
08-21-2012, 07:18 AM
When I got engaged many of my friends and some extended family found out through Facebook. I know at least one of my best friends found out through Facebook which I can assure you was not out of anything near malice; just a simple oversight. I can say for certain that at no time did I think "I don't want to tell _______ myself because they are not important enough to me."

There's a lot of people to tell. We had to call/Skype parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. None of these people live close. I don't particularly like talking on the phone and for most of my friends having me call them is rare and therefore a little weird (or at least it feels weird for me). Time zones also complicate things and it feels weird to say "don't talk to anyone about this yet; we'll announce it soon" over and over and eventually we gave in and posted on Facebook (and emailed Facebook holdouts).

RedHotSgtPeppers
08-21-2012, 07:24 AM
I can understand all of that. Telling like 200 people in person about getting engaged sounds like a pain in the ass, so that is where FB would come in handy. I was only shocked at the thought of finding out through FB because my friend is like a sister to me, and she tells me almost everything about her relationships as soon as they happen. Of course, she doesn't tell me EVERYTHING but she does keep me informed on major stuff that happens.

Dogvolta
08-21-2012, 07:57 AM
I confess that I do not have a facebook.
I confess that I am totally ok with not having a facebook.

captncrzy
08-21-2012, 07:59 AM
When I got engaged many of my friends and some extended family found out through Facebook. I know at least one of my best friends found out through Facebook which I can assure you was not out of anything near malice; just a simple oversight. I can say for certain that at no time did I think "I don't want to tell _______ myself because they are not important enough to me."

There's a lot of people to tell. We had to call/Skype parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. None of these people live close. I don't particularly like talking on the phone and for most of my friends having me call them is rare and therefore a little weird (or at least it feels weird for me). Time zones also complicate things and it feels weird to say "don't talk to anyone about this yet; we'll announce it soon" over and over and eventually we gave in and posted on Facebook (and emailed Facebook holdouts).

I KNEW BEFORE THE FACEBOOK PEOPLE!

Also, I announced my engagement over facebook (after calling parents and siblings). Just easier...and I was too excited to wait. And drunk.

TomAz
08-21-2012, 08:16 AM
I confess that I do not have a facebook.
I confess that I am totally ok with not having a facebook.

http://calvarypatriot.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/facebooklike.jpg?w=490&h=507

downingthief
08-21-2012, 09:55 AM
I confess that I will be a Father again sometime early next year (for those that don't already know).

amyzzz
08-21-2012, 10:02 AM
You're becoming a priest? (why the capital "f?")

Mr. Dylanja
08-21-2012, 10:15 AM
Congrats, Sean!

captncrzy
08-21-2012, 10:29 AM
He should have become a priest six months ago...amirite?

TomAz
08-21-2012, 10:30 AM
I confess that I will be a Father again sometime early next year (for those that don't already know).

Congrats! do you know the mom?

mountmccabe
08-21-2012, 10:56 AM
Congratulations, Sean!

captncrzy
08-21-2012, 10:59 AM
Congrats! do you know the mom?

What do you mean by "know"?

TomAz
08-21-2012, 11:04 AM
I guess I meant, was she relaxed?

downingthief
08-21-2012, 11:05 AM
I guess I meant, was she relaxed?

Yes, ruffies can do wonders.