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chairmenmeow47
01-26-2007, 02:11 PM
this is the thread where you post funny/asenine/silly things your co-workers say/do.

here's mein:

so my supervisor and some of my co-workers were talking about south park. there's this new co-worker from romania. he asked if i had seen the south park where they made fun of romanians. i asked him if he remembered anything else about the episode, cause i didn't know which one he was talking about. and he goes "i don't know. my friend said they were making fun of gypsies. god damn gypsies ruin it..."

"shh" my supervisor said (since someone was on the phone nearby).

the romanian co-worker then goes "what?"

"language" my supervisor says

the romanian co-worker then says all serious, "what, you mean gypsies?"

:rotfl

ok, maybe you had to be there, but i was laughing my ass off. post some funnier ones :)

CuervoPH
01-26-2007, 02:19 PM
I was telling a co-worker about a trip I took to Italy. I mentioned that we had visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The co-worker that sits one cubicle over says (in total seriousness), "That's in Paris, isn't it?"

I'm like, "Yeah, they just throw in that 'of Pisa' part to throw you off."

jimmycrackcorn
03-09-2007, 09:18 PM
there was this one guy who was going out with a female friend in our circle of friends at work and well none of the fellas really liked him much myself included... his humor was different, he was younger, and well kinda a bugaboo tagalong that would show up and kinda just mill around... one day a few of us were talking and he showed up and one by one people starting leaving until it was just us two and i had some SERIOUSLY stinky gas... i laid a silent fart and he just kept talking like always until i finally addressed the stench; i said "dude do you smell that?!" and he goes "yeah somebody blew it up" and i said "meetings over" and we both took off and went to work... later on when i told the rest of the crew MAN everybody started laughing... -sighs-

Tylerdurden31
03-09-2007, 09:29 PM
went to Bertucci's for lunch today with a bunch of people...on the way in I was talking to our hot intern and she mentioned she has a second job. I said "oh, where else do you work?" She says, "hooters." Awkward moment for everyone

smokealotapotamus
03-09-2007, 10:57 PM
Allright... so I get drunk with the people I work with, quite often. From time to time, my manager will go with us. This particular evening was at the assistant manager's house. He (the ass. Manager) got SHITFACED... lit a bowl and leaned up against my boss and said "Tracy!... you wanna smoke some pot?!" I guess if you know the people, it would be alot funnier, but it was hilarious. My manager's pretty cool, she denied and stated that she smoked when she was younger... but we all toked around her. Fun crew of people to work with, they're all always down for a good time... and only 3 or 4 people out of 20 don't smoke herb. good times.

BoneDaddy
03-09-2007, 10:58 PM
I worked with a guy who was supposed to be an artistic genius and all. I found that I couldn't have a conversation or a Director session with him to save my life. Afterwards I found out that he was very addicted to speed. It was one of those, oh, that's explains a hell of a lot about that dude kind of moment. He's still there, prospering. Apparently, he's off the junk, good for him. Why did he work from midnight to 6am, oh, speed. Hindsight is 20/20, in his case, more like 80/80:rotfl

John Peel is My Co-pilot
03-10-2007, 12:00 AM
I worked with a guy once who had been a carpet fitter in a former career. He was working in a real upscale house, when he was overtaken by a desperate need for twosies.
So he craps in this fancy ultra-low flush toilet affair that these rich folks have installed. You know the type, all form over function.
Anyways...after he's done he stands up and turns around to discover the Excaliber of the turd world, proudly sticking several inches above the waterline and just refusing to budge despite multiple flushings.

So what does he do? He takes a pair of carpet scissors and cuts the offending log in half before calmly wiping the soiled shears clean and getting back on the job.

I tell ya, I ended up with my nostrils full of coffee the first time he told that story!

jimmycrackcorn
04-19-2007, 09:34 PM
:bump
i wanna hear some more stuff

All That I Am
04-19-2007, 10:14 PM
When I worked at KFC they hired a mexican guy who didn't know a word of english. I went over to him an explained in spanish he was supposed to wash the dishes in sanitizer. I showed him how to pop the pouch of sanitizer underwater in order to save time. I went to the back and was talking with my manager when the guy comes running around the corner shouting, we can't understand him he is speaking so fast and when we ask what's wrong he just keeps rambling incoherrently. Finally he takes a breath and points at his face and yells "Saaaah nee taaayyy sir!" - he had popped the pouch above water and it went straight in his face. From that day on we called him The Sanitizer in an ahnuld voice.

All That I Am
04-19-2007, 10:20 PM
I worked with a bunch of dumbfucks!

So one day the boss gets mad at this one guy and tells him go mop the freezer. The guy didn't know my boss was joking so he went to do it. Well, he closed the freezer door and started mopping right where the entrance was, the mop stuck to the floor in no time sealing the door shut, he slowly poured out the water trying to thaw out the mop but it turned the whole freezer into one sheet if ice. He yelled for help then and we ran over and he told us the whole story as we watched through the small window on the door. He tried and tried to pull the mop up, but he kept slipping and falling down. After like three or four minutes he got out.

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 01:41 PM
This email was sent out at my work today:

Co-worker Insight

Can you guess who this is?

I was not born in a hospital
I couldn't tell you where I lived or what schools I attended growing up but always knew where home base was
Ran wild as a child and thought I had no boundaries
Growing up thought my grandmother didn't know the words to the songs she sang and later found out it was I who didn't know the words
I am the 3rd of 5 living generations
I have the reputation of being a home wrecker
This bird does not like it's [sic] cage

fatbastard
09-24-2009, 01:52 PM
Romanian gypsy?

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 01:54 PM
Apparently one of my co-workers is a home wrecker.

BlackSwan
09-24-2009, 02:01 PM
A short chat conversation initiated by one of my co-workers:

Jennifer: hey Matt is the ac on ? kinda cold in here

me: It's not... You would be able to hear it

Jennifer: i heave headphones on

have
ok
thx

me: Ahahah... you know you could have taken them off for a second, right?

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 02:07 PM
Wait...your name is Matt?

Ardentbiscuit
09-24-2009, 02:08 PM
Some of the agents aren't the brightest..this is a comment I overheard an agent from a previous company say..

Agent, "It says the house has a sunken living room but I think it can be fixed."

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 02:11 PM
heh.

BlackSwan
09-24-2009, 02:16 PM
Wait...your name is Matt?

Indeed it is. What did you think it was?

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 02:20 PM
Hell if I know.

whynotsmile99
09-24-2009, 02:30 PM
i used to work at a movie theater a few days a week during college (worst job ever, even with the free movie tickets.)

I was working the popcorn machine and another co worker was tearing tickets. as the evening goes on ( and i believe it was a busy night, I think Harry Potter or something had just opened) he starts acting really strange. After a while I realize he is tripping balls on acid, mushrooms or some other heavy mind altering stuff. All of us, even the managers, standing around laughing at him. He would tear someone's ticket, with his mouth wide open drooling. He would walk around in circles around the lobby of the theater, staring at his hand.

If I was running that place he would have been gone ages ago, but the managers did nothing. finally, after hours and while still out of his mind they told him to go home. wasn't even fired.

higgybaby23
09-24-2009, 02:35 PM
My 37 year old co-worker jumped for joy this morning when she realized that she had just received her order for a High School Musical 3 DVD. Not sure if this is funny or sad...

fatbastard
09-24-2009, 02:37 PM
Very sad.

locachica73
09-24-2009, 02:40 PM
When I worked in accounting my supervisor had left on vacation during "close" which is the day of the month that most accountants want to kill people anyway. She had asked me to pass out material reports and in doing so we highlighted anything that was over budget, made copies and handed to the project managers. One of the guys who had been there forever didn't like his shit highlighted and I forgot so I highlighted his stuff.

I ran into him and remembered so I said... hey allan, sorry I highlighted your material report, I forgot that you didn't like that.

He looked at me in all seriousness and said oh i threw that shit away.

I am pretty sure you could see the steam coming off my head and I said, your fucking kidding right? It takes 30 minutes to run that fucking report and I am already going to be here till midnight.

He said... well I don't care, I can tell when I am over budget, I don't need pink highlighter to tell me.

I turned around and stomped off, pissed off as all hell. Then he says... Audra it was a joke. I could have choked him.

This is the same guy that I thought hated me for the first 6 months and dreamt he chased me down and threw acid on me to kill me.

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 02:41 PM
EVIL.

Mr. Dylanja
09-24-2009, 03:32 PM
Apparently one of my co-workers is a home wrecker.

Is this the same co-worker that talks bad about you zeeez? If so they need to be punched in the chin and kicked in the shin.

jimmycrackcorn
09-24-2009, 03:48 PM
and dreamt he chased me down and threw acid on me to kill me.

WOW i wonder what it was like at work the day after that dream?

amyzzz
09-24-2009, 03:58 PM
Is this the same co-worker that talks bad about you zeeez? If so they need to be punched in the chin and kicked in the shin.
I don't know who it is. We find out next week! I can't WAIT!

locachica73
09-25-2009, 07:19 AM
WOW i wonder what it was like at work the day after that dream?

Him and I ended up becoming friends eventually, he had such a dry sense of humor though that I never knew when he was joking so I always thought he hated me. I eventually told him about my dream over a beer and we got a big kick out of it.

Worse though was the sex dream I had about a guy I worked with who I would never have considered having sex with. He had a giant porn stache and wore extremely tight wranglers and button up cowboy shirts. EW. I had totally forgotten about the dream till I got to work the next day. I was talking to one of my friends and he walked by. I turned beat red and was so embarrassed. I told my friend about my dream and we had a good laugh. Then I went upstairs to my office and who should be sitting at my desk... porn guy. He needed me to help him with something and sat entirely way too close to me while I was showing him what he needed. My palms were sweaty and I was so nervous because I was sure he could just look at me and know I was seeing him naked. UGH

jimmycrackcorn
09-27-2009, 12:12 PM
I turned beat red and was so embarrassed. My palms were sweaty and I was so nervous because I was sure he could just look at me and know I was seeing him naked. UGH
hahaha...
nice...