The Girls Only Thread

[Courtney]

The original intent was to give the bride-to-be and her family/friends a chance to become better acquainted with the women in her future in-laws before the wedding.

I have never heard this before, but it is interesting.

I am also a fan of a small bridal shower gift. Something like a nice silver frame with a beautiful photo of the happy couple that I have shot. It should be about the thought, not the monetary value.

What I hate hate hate is when people include information about the registry in wedding invitations. That is terribly tacky.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I've seen the money dance at "white people" weddings, but i've never seen the clothespin thing. I fucking hate all that modern-traditional wedding garbage though - the chicken dance is just as bad an offender. ugh.

[chiapet]

I don't mind the registry being mentioned, but I suppose it depends on how it's worded. Buying gifts stresses me out and I can never seem to count on people to share registry info with me otherwise.

I haven't gone to many bridal showers (I turn down invites if it's not someone I'm close to) but I've usually gotten boudoir items, candles, or pamper-y toiletries for women who are really not into "house" stuff. If it's someone younger (without a set-up household) or who is really into cooking, I usually get smaller kitchen stuff.

[Courtney]

engagement party gift ideas that aren't gift cards and that are cheap? my great idea for a group gift was usurped, so i need some suggestions, thanks :)

Here, I will be helpful instead of complaining:

-beautiful silver picture frame for a photo of the couple
-movie tickets
-museum membership
-coffee table book
-monogrammed luggage tags
-gourmet coffee or tea and two mugs
-champagne glasses

And for the record, I believe engagement party gifts (unlike wedding or shower gifts) are COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. Emily Post would agree.

[chairmenmeow47]

gifts are not expected, but the couple is paying for the dinner for everyone so i feel like i should bring SOMETHING. since i can't really order anything online right now, i'll prolly just get some wine or something.

thanks courtney :) movie tickets aren't a bad idea. right now though i'm leaning towards a decent bottle of wine and balloons as these are two things i can get on my way lol. glad to know engagement party gifts aren't on the expected gifts list.

[HowToDisappear]

In the beginning, registry info in the invite used to trigger my tacky reflex, too, but it's so commonplace now (and time saving) that it no longer bothers me. In the olden days - ahahaha - you had to call and ask the bride or her mother for that info. Then you had to go to the store and get the list from the salesperson and so on and so on... and now, god bless the internet.

[Courtney]

Also, have any of you ever subscribed to Birchbox? I've been eyeing it lately.

I just looked at this, and it seems to me like you're paying $10 per month for something that should be completely free. Paying for samples just seems weird.

For example, the photo on their homepage shows a Kiehl's bottle, but I know for a fact that Kiehl's will give you tons of free samples every single time you go into a store or visit their counter.

Just my two cents.

[miscorrections]

I like when people send out save the date notices and then build a website with all the pertinent info - engagement photos, date & time, registry links, RSVP option. Much easier to deal with.

[Courtney]

In the beginning, registry info in the invite used to trigger my tacky reflex, too, but it's so commonplace now (and time saving) that it no longer bothers me. In the olden days - ahahaha - you had to call and ask the bride or her mother for that info. Then you had to go to the store and get the list from the salesperson and so on and so on... and now, god bless the internet.

But that's the thing -- with the internet, there is no need for someone to include registry info in their invitation. You can search on any one of a myriad of websites to get the info. And if you are not sure, then by all means call and ask.

The only reason to include registry info would be if the couple is registered somewhere obscure or local that would not show up online. But in this age of travel and extended family networks, I can't imagine that many people would register at a smaller local store that does not have an internet presence.

[Courtney]

I like when people send out save the date notices and then build a website with all the pertinent info - engagement photos, date & time, registry links, RSVP option. Much easier to deal with.

Yes, this is a good solution.

[HowToDisappear]

Agreed, I like the website thing, too. And it's more and more common. I don't know that we've gotten to the point yet where couples will eliminate printed invitations all together, but eventually we may.

A really lovely printed invite is a thing of beauty, though.

[miscorrections]

That's why I like save the date notices by mail - you can still have the nice stationery, and it's always fun to get things in the mail.

[J~$$$$]

http://larryquach.blogspot.com/2011/10/wedding-invitations.html

The art behind it can really set the tone though.

[miscorrections]

True. And I do like when people put in the effort and time to make appropriate invitations. I just think there should always be at least some sort of companion website.

[chairmenmeow47]

http://larryquach.blogspot.com/2011/10/wedding-invitations.html

The art behind it can really set the tone though.

totally tubular

[J~$$$$]

True. And I do like when people put in the effort and time to make appropriate invitations. I just think there should always be at least some sort of companion website.

I am agreement.

[Courtney]

http://larryquach.blogspot.com/2011/10/wedding-invitations.html

The art behind it can really set the tone though.

Hahaaa that rules.

Yes, I love paper invitations and great graphic design and beautiful mail, and would never part with any of that. But I do think that a website can serve as a valuable complement -- and can be just as clever and beautifully-designed as hard copy pieces.

[HowToDisappear]

http://larryquach.blogspot.com/2011/10/wedding-invitations.html

The art behind it can really set the tone though.

This is awesome.

My niece has a friend who does graphic novels, so he designed a comic starring the happy couple, and the cover art for a mix CD that they put together, and those were the party favors for everyone in attendance.

[J~$$$$]

Well designed art is always nice to have to remember certain moments. You should post the comic cover and mix cd cover I would like to see it. Only if you want or still have them.

[HowToDisappear]

I'd have to look. That was 5 years ago. But if I do have them still (and it doesn't have anything too personal about the couple on it), I'll post.

[HowToDisappear]

On another note, just printed out some groupons for a cheap date on Sunday. A round of golf, and then lunch at my favorite Hawaiian plate lunch place. Grand total: 22 bucks. Yeahhh boyeeee.

[Hannahrain]

My mother and stepfather sent out a save-the-date with a photo of both of them dressed in old-western saloonwear while she holds him at gunpoint. It's tacky, but they were pretty cute in it.


I just looked at this, and it seems to me like you're paying $10 per month for something that should be completely free. Paying for samples just seems weird.

For example, the photo on their homepage shows a Kiehl's bottle, but I know for a fact that Kiehl's will give you tons of free samples every single time you go into a store or visit their counter.

Just my two cents.

That's sort of what I meant by hit or miss, product-wise. I've looked back at some of the boxes and some of the stuff is truly desirable and much bigger than standard sample size, while some of it feels less so. But you and I are pretty dramatically different socially - there's not really anywhere I feel less comfortable than squinting underneath the fluorescent lighting of a makeup counter at some girl in black pants and silver bangles while she quietly judges the quality of my skin. It may seem like a small errand for you, but I find it really daunting and it's something I pretty much universally avoid. On a regular day, I don't think you could pay me what the box costs to visit the number of counters I'd probably need to get what comes in it.

I don't know, though. I'm going to try it next month and see if it's worth it to me, and if it isn't I'll cancel.

[miscorrections]

I usually just buy online with Sephora.

[malcolmjamalawesome]

I was trying to figure out where to post about the Real Housewives reunion. Here seemed appropriate.

[miscorrections]

Nope.

[chiapet]

Yea, I'm confused as to why you would think we'd be interested. There is a TV thread, I'm sure.

[miscorrections]

Apologies for the size, but...

http://www.ohmz.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/sexyhalloween.jpg

[chiapet]

I am strangely drawn to the 'sexy 'hungry-man' dinner'.

[HowToDisappear]

Who doesn't love a hungry man dinner?


You know you are sexy if you can pull that off - and the sexy smelly old gym sock - with aplomb.

[chairmenmeow47]

that gym sock is turning me on.

my mom is awesome. yesterday i got a halloween card from her (we're big into greeting cards in my family). inside she left her victoria's secret credit card and told me to get something nice. i got two comfy nightgowns. it was nice to feel kindy girly & try on bras and stuff; it's been way too long since i've been able to shop for anything like that.

http://www.ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/903288-2/2011-10-20_19-34-26_781.jpg

[HowToDisappear]

That is very sweet.


I just sent my girls rain pants and merino wool baselayer tops. Not quite VS (they would be perplexed if I did that!), but useful in MA. They were happy to report the pants kept them quite dry while biking to work. ;)

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Corinna, that sexy girls costumes thing is awesome...and thanks very much now for turning me onto Jillian Tamaki. her blog is amazing!

[Hannahrain]

My mom sent me sheet metal and a tektite. Fuck all y'all.

[HowToDisappear]

Ahahaha, my husband sends our girls lights, too, but he's a light guy. LEDs forever!!!


So what's the sheet metal for?

[chairmenmeow47]

my dad buys us flashlights for christmas every year. apparently my brothers and i would flip out over them as kids.

[Hannahrain]

No no - an actual tektite. From a meteorite impact. I didn't actually know there was another thing called that until trying to make hide and/or hair of your post. She does give me those little photon keylights with strange regularity, though.

It's silver sheet for my metalsmithing class. I tend to be allergic to less expensive metals, so I can't really make anything to wear unless I bring in my own.

[MissingPerson]

Sexy Alice and Sexy Dorothy. Alan Moore would be turning in his grave, if only he were dead.

[Hannahrain]

That sounds so haughty now that I re-read it. I'm not an elitist. I just don't want a rash.

[chairmenmeow47]

speaking of metalsmithing, if i wanted to cut something extremely thin like a tin can, what would you recommend?

and the meteorite thing is rad!

[Hannahrain]

Soda can or soup can?

[HowToDisappear]

She sends you meteorites??? That's absolutely awesome.

Are you going to make a pendant?

[chairmenmeow47]

Soda can or soup can?

soup. just curious if there's a cheap knife or something i could use.

[Hannahrain]

It's already drilled, I just need to decide what I want to wear it on. Stones/gems/related things of geological and/or archaeological interest are some of the things she and I both really geek out about.

Ivy, I'd probably use a hacksaw.

[HowToDisappear]

soup. just curious if there's a cheap knife or something i could use.

Tin snips.

[sbconnection]

soup. just curious if there's a cheap knife or something i could use.

This tool is a bitch to keep from snapping but I used it all the time in my metalsmithing class for cutting thin sheets of copper/silver

http://watchmecreate.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/wmc080327a1.jpg

[Courtney]

I quite like this article (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/) by Kate Bolick in the November issue of The Atlantic titled "All The Single Ladies," which poses the question: is the institution of marriage as a cultural norm dead?

I found the part about how pre-sexual revolution repression has given way to a society of quick hookups instead of any sort of real, satisfying sexuality to be especially germane.

[chiapet]

There's something wrong with me being able to read a 1,000 page novel joyfully but being unwilling or unable to read even one page of that article.

Perhaps because I am still not willing to even consider that marriage might have a role in my life, some far off day.

[Courtney]

I can see that -- I'm the opposite! I can read nonfiction all day, but I can't somehow bring myself to plow through fiction that's longer than a couple pages.

The article is the kind of dense, assumption-filled-feminism that I find myself increasingly skeptical of. I wish the author had differentiated between cultural norms of "marrying up" or the economic factors that make a man "marriageable" and her personal beliefs. I also wish that she had qualified her generalizations of gender differences in sexuality. But overall, I think it's worth reading.

[chiapet]

Perhaps I need a frivolous shopping thread.

I had a 2 year old store credit to use at Fluevog. Even going into that store is dangerous, but I had to go pick up my new sunglasses next door, soooo...

My amazing new sunglasses:
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=29429974

And my amazing new Fluevogs:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/images/colour_image/0000006008/composite.jpg

...And because I have no self-control, my other amazing boots:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/images/colour_image/0000005760/composite.jpg


They're practically the same boot but they feel sooooo amazing that I couldn't put the second pair down. :(

[miscorrections]

I like both pairs!

[algunz]

Those Fluevogs are awesome. :thu

[miscorrections]

For reals. One of my problems with most Fluevogs is that the sole is just too prominent - it's nice and understated on those. Very cute boots, would look great with skinnies.

[chiapet]

Yea, I love the heels on these. I think the second pair might even work with some skirts (with tights). The top part can fold down.

They're both soooo comfortable and soft. The first pair already feels amazing.

[algunz]

I love prominent soles.

[chairmenmeow47]

love the glasses, heidi! i also got through all of one page of courtney's article, hopefully i'll get through it tomorrow at work.

[rskapcat]

I have the second pair of boots, Heidi. They are very comfortable. I wore them pretty much all weekend at ATP.

[chiapet]

I thought I'd seen pictures of you in those boots, but couldn't tell if they were exactly the same. I love them! Though I just realized there are dark red ones the same style and now I'm considering switching to those. (Though I'm not sure I'd wear red ones as often).

[casey]

The second boots are so adorable, Heidi! I want them!

[ThatGirl]

I bought these at Target for 35 bucks when I was in Portland, and I adore them. Got them in black.

[locachica73]

So I am still in search of boots and was going to break down and try to buy a pair online. I did a little search and the wide calf boots tend to measure at 17", I don't own a measuring tape but thought I would try with my ruler, I know it's not going to be accurate but at the widest point of my calf it measured at 18" or so. I checked Zappos and the only ones that measure that high are high heeled and I don't want to wobble, do any of you have any websites you can recommend? I like the shorter boots as well but I am guessing they won't really look right with a skirt, but then again my fashion sense sucks so what are your thoughts?

[miscorrections]

I'm seeing plenty of boots in the 18"-18.75" circumference range that are flat...

[miscorrections]

Well. At least seven pairs or so.

[locachica73]

I broke it down to black boots, size 10, 18-18.75 and under $200 and all i get are furry boots, heeled boots and one flat pair with a big ole buckle. I have big feet. :(

[locachica73]

http://www.zappos.com/fitzwell-bit-extra-wide-calf-black-brazilian-calf

I would buy these if they didn't have the buckle. I wonder if I could cut it off. lol

[ThatGirl]

The ones I got at Target dont' have to be folded down, they can go straight up and are lace up to adjust easily for a large calf like mine ( 17 "). I was amazed when I bought them how well they fit. They also look really cute with tights and a casual dress. :)

[locachica73]

OK, I might have to check out target, those fit better in my budget anyway. :)

[miscorrections]

I'm also seeing some Ros Hommerson boots (http://www.zappos.com/ros-hommerson-world-wide-shaft-black-softy-calf) in that category but yeah, they've got a buckle too. I think they're nice, though:

http://a1.zassets.com/images/z/1/2/3/1239014-p-DETAILED.jpg

[ThatGirl]

Here's how they look on.

[locachica73]

Those aren't bad either, the buckle is a lot less cowgirl. I wonder why they didn't show up in my search. If target is a bust I may have to drop almost $200 on a pair of boots. eek.

[ThatGirl]

Do they have Shoe Company where you live?

[miscorrections]

It's worth it, though. Good quality boots are such a godsend.

[locachica73]

I haven't heard of it, but most of my shoes have been bought at payless shoe store and famous footwear.

[locachica73]

It's worth it, though. Good quality boots are such a godsend.

Yeah, I think it's about time I become a grown up woman and start actually purchasing better quality long term items, most of my shoes/clothes make it through one season of wear before I toss them.

[miscorrections]

I'm 99% sure when I wear out the soles of my favorites I'm just gonna get 'em resoled. It's hard to find perfect boots.

[ThatGirl]

Madden Girl is great for wide calf boots that are reasonable. I got these for 99bucks. But I know you dont' like the buckles.

[locachica73]

Yeah, I tend to be pretty basic. I also would probably kill myself with that heel. But I will check them out to see if they have anything for me. Thanks for the advice girls. :)

[chiapet]

loca, I have boots from both of those brands (Ros Hommerson and Fitzwell). They're both pretty wide in the calves - they sell a "wide" and an "extra wide." The measurements are also usually based on a specific size of shoe (usually the smallest size), and the larger shoe sizes will have slightly larger calves - like there might be a difference of 1 or 2 inches between a 6 and a 10.

I have these and I love them though they might be too buckly for what you're looking for... they are more motorcycle than cowboy though. ;)

http://www.zappos.com/fitzwell-edeen-wide-calf-black-calf

[chiapet]

Keep in mind that Zappos as free shipping and free return shipping, so if you're not sure, you could always order and give it a try. They carry a bunch of brands that I can't find locally so I'm sorry to say I do that a lot. (I probably return half of what I buy at Zappos... yeesh).

[locachica73]

If that is the case I might just try the ones I really liked in the 17" shaft (hehehe) and hope for the best. I assumed that meant regardless of the size of shoe but it makes sense it would widen for bigger shoe size. Thanks Heidi. I am going to make a purchase on Friday and hope for the best. :)

[chiapet]

Good luck! Just make sure if you order online that they're easily returnable - boots are heavy so the sites that make you pay return shipping may not be the best choice.

[locachica73]

Ordering clothes or shoes online makes me too nervous not to do it somewhere like zappos that allows free returns. I never return clothes. I can't tell you how many things I have donated with price tags still on them because I decided I didn't like it but didn't want to return it. At least this way I won't feel guilted by the snobby sales lady who hates having to do returns.

[Courtney]

If you're willing to spend the big bucks and pay $200-400 for boots, I can't recommend Duo (http://www.duoboots.com/) highly enough. They are UK-based, but they have free shipping to the US, and every single style is available in a variety of calf widths from 12 to 20 inches.

[locachica73]

I really wish I hadn't clicked on that site. I like that selection so much better, but $200 for boots was way more than I wanted to spend, now I see a pair I love that is over half my monthly rent. :(

[thewoodenman]

as per algunz's post, this and the hot thread are both on page 420... sooo:

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr1scyiIWz1qlu5abo2_400.jpg

u bitchez needa recognize

[miscorrections]

I believe you are the worst.

[kitt kat]

Boyfriend and I broke up for good two weeks ago. Only beer and internet can heal me now!

Don't feel like talking about it. I still cry a lot :(

[algunz]

Sorry, kitt. It'll get easier.

[Courtney]

Aw Kat, I'm sorry. Does this mean that Kill/Hurt is no more?

[Courtney]

I just found out that one of my best friends here in Hawaii is pregnant. I am so excited for her, and gave her a big hug and congratulations and whatnot.

But now that she is gone and I'm here alone and thinking about, it's stirring up all sorts of emotions for me: are children something I want? I'm 29 and single and no closer to traditional life markers like marriage and children. Or even to having a serious, commited relationship. Should I be worried? Should I be doing things differently? Should I not care?

[chairmenmeow47]

I just found out that one of my best friends here in Hawaii is pregnant. I am so excited for her, and gave her a big hug and congratulations and whatnot.

But now that she is gone and I'm here alone and thinking about, it's stirring up all sorts of emotions for me: are children something I want? I'm 29 and single and no closer to traditional life markers like marriage and children. Or even to having a serious, commited relationship. Should I be worried? Should I be doing things differently? Should I not care?

get out of my head. only replace pregnant in hawaii with engaged in phoenix and insert an ornery uterus.

[Courtney]

Aw Ivy. Let's get drunk and watch really trashy movies.

[MissingPerson]

insert an ornery uterus.

This is quite a sentence.

[chairmenmeow47]

yes courtney, ya know, my vote in the marriage poll still stands *nods head seductively*

and sorry kat :(

[chiapet]

But now that she is gone and I'm here alone and thinking about, it's stirring up all sorts of emotions for me: are children something I want? I'm 29 and single and no closer to traditional life markers like marriage and children. Or even to having a serious, commited relationship. Should I be worried? Should I be doing things differently? Should I not care?

I felt very similarly when my best friend got pregnant. I was happy for her but also a little pissed to be losing my cohort. I'd started to assume she would not have kids and it made me question my own plan being that SHE'd figured out how to have a great career, great marriage, and now kids.

When it comes down to it, you're living your own life for your own happiness. It's good to take stock of your life and priorities to make sure you're on track, but you don't need compare what you're doing to what your friends are doing, or feel like you're doing less with your life. If you're content with the track you're on, and your pace on that track, who cares?

Perhaps my view is skewed because I know I don't really want kids, so I don't feel the pressure of a ticking biological clock. I figure the career & relationship stuff will sort itself out and I'll pursue those things more aggressively when I'm ready. :)

[Pixiessp]

I love prominent soles.

I'm looking for the perfect pair. I really think I need to buy online. All the shoe selections out here are mediocre.

[kitt kat]

Aw Kat, I'm sorry. Does this mean that Kill/Hurt is no more?

That's a good question. We're at least doing the next 3-5 releases we had planned out. It's weird.

We still obviously care about each other and are very much in love...it just wasn't in the cards, I guess. Lots of factors and he just didn't want to put effort into the relationship anymore. Bleh.



And RE: married + pregnant friends...I feel like that all the time. The best thing to do is say, "FUCK THEM. THEY'RE STUPID." and not compare yrself to them. Besides, babies are gross and they poop and do you really want a stretchy vag right now? No.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

To be fair kat, you're several years younger than the other girls in there pondering babies/marriage, so your perspective is a bit skewed.

[chairmenmeow47]

yeah, i just feel my clock is sped up now from all the endometriosis crap. i know it will happen in it's own time if it's meant to happen, and that i could adopt at some point in life, and that if it never happens i'll prolly be ok too. today it was suggested by my doc that i go on a medication that causes birth defects and fucking BONE pain. and that just makes it feel all the more further away.

maybe i should just become a mail order bride. i'd be honoured if hannah was my matchmaker.

i feel for you, kat. hope you are moving on ok.

[sbconnection]

So, I just found out today that my 70yr old dad has skin cancer. That i basically all I know right now.

He called me and basically told me in one breath and hung up the phone because he didn't want to hear me flip the fuck out. He got this really dark spot biopsied and it came back malignant. I know it is fairly regular for people in South FL to get skin cancer, specially after years of going in the sun without sunblock but... is it ok for me to worry?

Thank god I had him get that checked out while i was visiting in town last month. If he just continued to think it was nothing we could be in a world of shit right now, not that we aren't but at least it has been assessed.

So random but while i was back home visiting him i really got into that show The C Word. Laura Linney had stage 4 skin cancer on the show... coincidence?

[chiapet]

Sunni, of course it's okay for you to worry! It's your dad, after all. But, skin cancer is one of the most treatable and survivable cancers there is. There are visible symptoms, and people usually get them checked out fairly quickly. When it hasn't metastasized, the treatment is pretty straight forward. I don't wear tank tops very much because I have a gross scar on my back - from a melanoma excision, thankfully after 20+ years I've never had any further problems.

[chairmenmeow47]

so sorry to hear sunni and of course it's ok to worry. i agree with heidi.

[chiapet]

On a lighter note, my new boots went out last night and danced for 4+ hours and I have no blisters! Awesomest boots ever.

[chairmenmeow47]

that's quite impressive :)

[chiapet]

Yea! Normally I wouldn't dare wear new boots to go out (especially considering I was doing 2 shows and was stuck wearing them for 8 hours). But they felt great until hour 7. Even then still quite tolerable. I'm in love. :)

[ThatGirl]

I just found out that one of my best friends here in Hawaii is pregnant. I am so excited for her, and gave her a big hug and congratulations and whatnot.

But now that she is gone and I'm here alone and thinking about, it's stirring up all sorts of emotions for me: are children something I want? I'm 29 and single and no closer to traditional life markers like marriage and children. Or even to having a serious, commited relationship. Should I be worried? Should I be doing things differently? Should I not care?

Only you can decide what's right for you, and not where society has taught you since you were born what you are supposedly meant to do. I didn't figure out until my mid thirties that I really didn't want to be a parent, even though I love kids and adore my friend's children, it just wasn't for me. If marriage and children are important for you then you'll work towards that, but if you have no interest in pursuing it then there is no reason to be worried about it. :)

[MissingPerson]

Also, children are kind of dicks.

[locachica73]

Also, children are kind of dicks.

Agreed!

[caco0283]

http://jwoww.com/blog/post/the-routine-gravity-defying-boobs


I love my rack and I want it to look good throughout the years. Yes, my boobs may be “enhanced,” but they still need to get a workout to maintain their perkiness. Here are a few of my exercise tips for keeping your boobs up and at ‘em!

1. Chest Fly with Dumbells
-Lie on the floor or on a workout bench. Hold light-to-medium weights (three to ten pounds) over the chest with your palms facing each other.
-Keeping your elbows slightly bent, lower your arms out to the sides and down until they’re level with your chest.
-Keep your elbows in a fixed position and be sure not to lower the weights too low.
-Squeeze your chest muscles to bring your arms back up as though you’re hugging a tree.
-Repeat for one to three sets of ten to fifteen reps.

2. Modified Push Ups
-Start on all fours with hands a bit wider than your shoulders.
-Walk your knees back a bit in order to lean your weight on your hands and flatten your back.
-Pull your abs in an, keeping your back straight, bend your elbows and lower your body toward the floor until your elbows are at ninety-degree angles.
-Push back up and repeat for one to three sets of ten to fifteen reps. Avoid sticking your ass up in the air.

3. Chest Press with Resistance bands
-Wrap the band around something stable behind you (a doorknob of a shut door usually works) and hold the handles in both hands so that the bands run along the inside of your arms.
-Position yourself far enough away (either sitting or standing) so that you have tension on the bands.
-Begin the movement with your arms bent, palms facing down. Squeeze chest and press arms out in front of you, keeping the band stable. Do not lock your arms in. This could strain the shoulders, and you want to keep all the work in the chest.
-Repeat for one to three sets of ten reps.

[miscorrections]

4. Get implants.

[amyzzz]

4. Get implants.
Implied. She already said she was enhanced.

[miscorrections]

Whatever. You can do all the exercises in the world but gravity will take its toll on natural boobs. Implants too, but they're usually set higher up so it's less noticeable.

[chairmenmeow47]

i pretty much just always wear a bra.

[locachica73]

Do you really want to be 60 with perky boobs though? I have seen 60 year olds with perky boobs, it's creepy. You don't want to look but you have to. Ick.

[TomAz]

link?

[HowToDisappear]

Implants don't sag to the side when a woman lies down, either. We were at the beach, and this woman had humongous implants, and there they were, perfectly spherical and pointing directly at the sky as she sunned herself. And we all put our hands to our mouths and snickered. (Sorry, huge implant lady.)

[locachica73]

LOL Tom, this was up close and personal. I don't usually look at boobs on the internet, well not those of people I don't know anyway.

[Hannahrain]

Don't apologize for that, HtD. She made a conscious choice. If you choose to have something surgically adhered to your person for vanity's sake, we're allowed to laugh when it makes you look ridiculous.

[amyzzz]

Do you really want to be 60 with perky boobs though? I have seen 60 year olds with perky boobs, it's creepy. You don't want to look but you have to. Ick.
Helen Mirren.

[algunz]

I like your sig, Amy. :)

[HowToDisappear]

Well, one must have some sympathy when everyone on the beach is having a good laugh at her expense.



A little sympathy. Not a lot.

[caco0283]

here I thought you girls were going to yell for posting that...damn

[ThatGirl]

Also, children are kind of dicks.

This made me wail.

[rskapcat]

Also, children are kind of dicks.

I love you.

[chiapet]

I used to have huge boobs that didn't sag to the side when I was lying down. I'll blame age, but I think it was also largely to do with muscle tone.

Ronnie's spot on with the exercises, btw, and don't kid yourselves and say that it doesn't make a difference. Would I want to be a 60 year old with perky boobs? Uhm... yes. Not perky like a 18 year old, but still. Who doesn't want to look good for their age?

[HowToDisappear]

Also, children are kind of dicks.


Agreed!


This made me wail.


I love you.

Misopedists! The whole lot of you!


My rule about children (and dogs): they must be smart, polite, well-mannered and sweet-natured. Otherwise, I'm no fan of your kid. Or your damn dog. (I will make allowances on the smart part, as long as the sweet, well-mannered part is there in abundance.)

[MissingPerson]

Helen Mirren is an exceptional case and should not be applied to non-Helen Mirren circumstances because my God it's just not fair.

[amyzzz]

I know, I know.

[Pixiessp]

I went through a " I want kids " phase when I was in my early 30's.
Guess I could have done it if I wanted but all I really ever did was think about it. I think if I had been in a good and nurturing relationship I probably would have. I could have just been a single mom. But in the end it was not for me.

[chiapet]

Kate Spade is having a wonderful sale. I couldn't stop myself from getting this:

http://s7d5.scene7.com/is/image/Katespade/PXRU2761_252?rgn=0,0,2000,2000&scl=3.6231884057971016&id=p-Rqe1

[chairmenmeow47]

love that!

[Courtney]

It's like a military coat. Only it's a bag. Brain overload.

[amyzzz]

It's like a military coat. Only it's a bag. Brain overload.
Yes! I like it, Heidi.

[chiapet]

I know! I think it would be really really cute with a trench coat, jeans and ankle boots. It was "only" $150 (which is really not bad considering the normal cost of those bags). Early Christmas present to myself! -- when my brothers ask me what I want I'm going to tell them they're buying / bought me this :)

[ThatGirl]

OMG that bag is gorgeous. When I was in Portland I saw one like it with a red and black military coat style as well. So so amazing!

[chairmenmeow47]

i've felt super exhausted all week. HEADACHES. i've been in extra pain. i've been bitchy. can't wake-up. i cried for like three hours the other night when my meds had made me not cry at all. turns out, i'm having a second period in two weeks. i thought these meds were supposed to suppress this shit?!?! at least i know why. my next surgery at the end of this month CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH!

[ThatGirl]

Ivy I'm sorry you are struggling. I have been there with the medical issues. I remember having cycles that lasted two weeks, having two days break, and then started up again for another week. I wasn't sad or emotional but frustrated and at at the end of my rope. There's light at the end of the tunnel honey, just do what you have to do to comfort yourself and treat yourself gently! Advil, Hot water bottles, hot baths, try and rest. I know how it sucks girl, but the surgery will help.

[chiapet]

Ivy, that sounds miserable. Make sure you are eating well - I know it's hard to find the energy to cook when you're feeling so poorly but it could make a big difference in how you're feeling.

[sbconnection]

Ivy!!!! Some how this situation makes me think of that Betty White quote about balls that is going around the internet... we need to contact her and tell her it is the Uterus that can take the pounding. Grrrrrrrlll, stay strong, you will over come this. I hope your surgery helps the pain. I wish I knew what to say, but I have no idea what you must be going through. If it helps at all, I support you and love you.

[chairmenmeow47]

thanks ladies, you're sweet :) i'm doing a little better today. sometimes just knowing it's my period that's making me feel this way helps. i have definitely been trying to eat well. yesterday i got some semi-healthy snacks and seltzer water. my pain meds make me so nauseous and i am out of my anti-nausea meds, which i can only refill once a month and still have a few days to go. tonight my girlfriend is coming over to do yoga with me and i think that will help too. thank god for the weekend :)

[chiapet]

Ivy, what is your doctor giving you for anti-nausea? Is it possible for him to prescribe something else temporarily that you can use in the interim?

My doctor wrote me a prescription for hydroxyzine (Atarax) for nausea. It's a strong antihistamine that is also used to treat nausea and motion sickness. It does have an interaction with codeine based pain killers but it's not a serious one (your dosages would just be adjusted). The reason I mention it's super cheap (on my insurance it's like $5 for 120 tablets and I've never had to take more than 3 in a day).

I was prescribed it because the medications I take when I have an allergic reaction make me really nauseated (I puke nonstop basically). It's helped a ton! I know it's sometimes subscribed as an anti-nausea for people on pain killers long-term, because it's safe to take long term (not habit forming at all).

[chairmenmeow47]

it's the generic for zofran. i'm going to see if i can get something else when i have my surgery. i think i bought some dramamine last time i ran out, maybe i have more.

[chiapet]

Yea, Zofran is a lot more effective for that purpose, I'm sure. I don't really like taking Dramamine - it includes a stimulant and can make you a little wonky at high doses / taking it frequently, whereas I've never had anything like that happen with Atarax (it does make you drowsy though -- perfect for the weekend :D ).

[Courtney]

Heidi and Kylie, this inflatable packaging for flying with bottles of wine (http://www.flight001.com/all-products/essentials/vinni-wine-bag.html) made me think of you. heh.

[chiapet]

Oh that's a great idea - I usually just wrap mine in a trash bag then pad with clothing, but sometimes I find that it was inspected and not re-packed very carefully. Fortunately none have ever broken in transit for me.

[rskapcat]

So every time I see girls with cool bleached hair, like Katie here...

http://www.noisevox.org/files/imagecache/530_wide/article_image/1/Austra-FaceTime.png

...I get the urge to bleach my hair. And decide that I would look super-cool with bleached hair. And then I think of Dutch from Karate Kid...

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/movie-assholes/dutch.jpg

...and decide that it probably wouldn't be a great idea.

[locachica73]

Would you also bleach your eyebrows? I think that is what bothers me about dutch, he looks like he has shaved eyebrows.

[rskapcat]

Hahaha...no. No bleached eyebrows.

[miscorrections]

Upkeep's a bitch, though. And to get it that bleached you have to bleach it forever and then tone it, so the hair gets fried. Although since you have short hair it probably wouldn't be that big a deal.

I'm debating whether or not to bleach my roots and redo the orange. I really like it, but bleaching roots is a pain in the ass. My life is so hard.

[chiapet]

Hrm! It might work. You have to be very careful about the exact shade/tone you bleach it to... much easier done professionally than at home. When I do mine at home, I end up looking pretty trashy.

[chiapet]

I hated re-doing roots. I was always super lazy about it, and just re-did the part that was most visible (like my part and the very front), until the roots got so bad that I could justify just re-bleaching all of my hair.

Speaking of which, I think I need to cut my hair even shorter. And want to do something weird color wise, but damn my job, I can't.

[rskapcat]

Yeah, I've only been considering it based on how short my hair is. And I would be letting a professional do it.

[miscorrections]

Heidi, yeah, that's what I'm thinking about doing. Although I have a friend who's done her own root touch-up so many times that she's a pro at it, and she's offered to help out, so that takes some stress out. In any case I'm not going to decide until the roots are long enough to offend me. They're about an inch right now but because of my haircut it's still not really obvious.

[Courtney]

I have very important information to share: This sports bra by Danskin Now, the "Adjustable Back Foam Sport Bra" makes your girls look freaking amazing. AMAZING.

http://i1.pricewatch.com/images/5429/t2/6d0387526137537d354d3c7e0ccbd427.jpg

It's some sort of gym-time miracle.

[Courtney]

Also, why on earth are Kotex tampons like twice as wide as Tampax tampons? I just bought Kotex for the first time because it was on sale and cheap, and jesus the super plus absorbency is like birthing a small fetus.

[chiapet]

I can't stand anything other than OB regular ones. Everything else seems to grow massively when contacting any moisture/fluids.

[Courtney]

That's interesting. I always feel like OB expand more than Tampax, because of the cone/umbrella shape. My vaginal canal is not ergonomically designed to pull out a cone, flat bottom first.

[algunz]

I have stopped buying brand names. The generic work just as well, are just as comfortable, and are so much cheaper. Why pay so much for some cotton you stuff up your snatch?

I hate my period. I just started yesterday and it seriously fucks me up so much physically and emotionally. It has gotten so much worse since I had a baby. Why must God fuck with us so much? I hate everyone and everything at the moment.

[amyzzz]

I really hate when people call breasts "girls." Sorry, Courtney. I have two girls, and they are my children.

[Courtney]

I always just end up buying tampons when I'm getting my groceries, so I don't think generics are even an option. My grocery store doesn't have an infinite selection. Although the reason I switched from Tamapax to Kotex was that the Tampax were $10.99 for a 40-pack, which just seemed like too much to me. So maybe I should investigate alternate stores.

[Courtney]

Hhaaaaaaa sorry Amy.

[algunz]

I really hate when people call breasts "girls." Sorry, Courtney. I have two girls, and they are my children.

It's better than many other terms I have heard.

My husband and brother have this horribly annoying tradition of coming up with ridiculous and esoteric names for breasts while on the polo fields. We'll be crossing the grass and they're calling out: "Check out those Bradley Fighting vehicles!" or "Nice tiger plushies." It goes on all weekend and has been incessant since 2003. :nono

[amyzzz]

I know it doesn't sound as bad as other words, but it's frustrating when I am talking about my daughters if I have worry about someone thinking about I am talking about my boobs when I say "girls." I guess it's just a personal annoyance, since no one else has multiple girls here on the board (except HtD).

[Courtney]

I am pretty ok with most terms as long as it's not fun bags or jugs.

[Hannahrain]

I particularly dislike "girls" as well, partially because it seems to me to evoke a sort of CryBaby-Girl-breasts-are-sentient-weapons thing that I don't subscribe to. Though I guess now that I think of it, there aren't a lot of boob terms I like in general. "Cans" is okay when I'm talking about somebody else.

[Courtney]

http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=Bazongas

[Courtney]

Pointer-Sisters.

[HowToDisappear]

Hey. Bristles (or Bristols) is not on that list. Clearly the authors never watched Benny Hill (even though their list was compiled in 1986).

Bristol Palin's name always makes me laugh.

[Hannahrain]

Montezumas. Parabolas. Umlauts. Kumquats. Rivets. Beacons. Polygons. Howitzers. Dirigibles. Foglights. These are my new terms. I'm going to have to start sexually harassing a lot more mathematically-minded industrial-era military wives, I guess.

[chairmenmeow47]

i have to wear pads right now. i miss my pearls :(

[Courtney]

I kind have a guilt complex about how gross I think pads are. I mean, logically I know that menstruation is perfectly natural and part of having a healthy body and there's nothing gross about it. And that uterine lining was touching your skin for like an entire month before it came out your vagina.

But still, I don't want to be walking around with a pad of blood rubbing up against me all day. Sorry.

[amyzzz]

Yeah, pads suck. Sorry you have to deal with that, Ivy.

[Pixiessp]

I haven't had a period in over 2 years.

[locachica73]

I had what I thought was my period yesterday, it lasted like 10 minutes. I got some gut stabbing pain, a little spotting and that was it. I might be in love with my IUD.

I call breasts boobies, the word always makes me smile. BOOBIESSSSSSSSSSSS :)

[ThatGirl]

I have to say after havig my surgery I don't miss the visits from Aunt Flo at ALL. Never having to worry about it or even think about it is all kinds of awesome.

[MissingPerson]

"Check out those Bradley Fighting vehicles!"

Awesome.

[Courtney]

I'm sitting next to the most adorable single dad right now who is reading a vintage copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to his six year old daughter. What is it about young dads that is so hot?

[kreutz2112]

They have a kid so you know they fuck?

[chiapet]

I definitely do not find parenthood attractive in a man. Having a kid might even be a deal breaker for me. It would depend on what type of custody he had / how often he was in charge of the kid.

[Courtney]

Ha. I think it's more about the fact that acting fatherly brings out a sort of genuine, gentle and nurturing side that I find attractive. It's pretty hard to put on an act or some fake facade when you have a six year old kid in tow.

[locachica73]

Ha. I think it's more about the fact that acting fatherly brings out a sort of genuine, gentle and nurturing side that I find attractive. It's pretty hard to put on an act or some fake facade when you have a six year old kid in tow.

I agree with this, although I also agree with Heidi in that it would be a deal breaker for me, but it is sexy to see a guy doting on his young kid(s).

[HowToDisappear]

A man who has a child ought to be kind and gentle and nurturing and involved with his child's life. That's to be expected, no? And yes, it's a very attractive trait in a man, especially if you intend to have children of your own one day.

But characterizing it as sexy is odd. Sexy has an entirely different connotation to me.


(And Courtney, I think you do want kids, or you wouldn't find all these men so damn attractive. BTW, how did you know he was single?)

[locachica73]

I think any time you see the softer side of a man it can be sexy. Most men I know try to put on this tough guy persona so it is nice to see the switch occasionally. Plus you can see they are grown up/responsible men so that might have something to do with it. It might also be because it isn't seen as often as it should be, unfortunately. Most of the men I know consider watching their own children "babysitting".

[rskapcat]

Going to a hair color consultation today. Pretty excited. No color today...just a discussion about what we're going to do so the salon can schedule the right amount of time for the appointment.

Who knows what I'll end up doing. ADVENTURE.

[chiapet]

Exciting! I am jealous. I wish I could do 'weird' colors with my current job.. blondes don't work every well for me or I'd give that a try. I have been thinking about either very dark brown, or a dark blonde.

[rskapcat]

Getting my hair did mid-December. I'll post pics once it's done. :)

[ThatGirl]

I agree with this, although I also agree with Heidi in that it would be a deal breaker for me, but it is sexy to see a guy doting on his young kid(s).

I'm more attracted to a man that's doting on his Fender Strat and not his brat. :)

[locachica73]

LOL, that does sound far more sexy to me as well.

So I went shopping at Kohls Saturday and got a pair of jeans and a new shirt. I have gained some of the weight I lost last year and had the hardest time finding a pair of jeans that fit. I am now at the point between big girl size and regular size. I ended up getting a 14W jean but they are baggy enough that when I sit down I look like I have a penis, but the 16 misses size wouldn't come up and over my hip. :(

When I went to check out the cashier asked me if I wanted to sign up for a credit card and get 30% off. I had kind of screwed my credit up after my divorce so I told the lady that I would pass since I wouldn't get approved anyway. She said I would get the 30% even if they didn't approve me so I said cool let's do this. They approved me for a credit card. I would have preferred not knowing that my credit has been repaired. Bleh

[Hannahrain]

I'm more attracted to a man that's doting on his Fender Strat and not his brat. :)

This guy can be pretty obnoxious, too, though. There's a big difference between an awesome dude who happens to play music and someone who thinks musicianship is an adequate substitute for a measurable personality. Guitar Guy is a really dull guy to be. I'm looking at you, everybody I've ever met.

[chiapet]

loca, my credit isn't very good at all either, but recently I've realized that I qualify for pretty decent credit cards again. I almost feel like companies are being less selective right now (perhaps a lot of people have poorer credit now after the last few years of economic problems).

Once you know you can get good cards again, it's definitely tempting to start applying to see what you can get but that every time you apply for credit, it is noted in your credit file (as a hard inquiry). Too many of these - whether you are approved or not - negatively impacts your credit score. So it's wise not to apply for credit that you aren't really interested in getting, since doing so could limit your ability to get the good credit cards (with rates/perks) that you really want.

[locachica73]

Yeah, now that I know I won't be applying for anything unless it's something I really need. But now that I know I am really tempted to go out and get some furniture on one of those no interest deals, but I really don't want to get myself into trouble again. I do get a bunch of pre approved deals in the mail from capital one but they will give a card to just about anyone.

[JustSteve]

as a stay at home dad of 2 little kids i would like to thank the ladies of the board for making me feel sexy ;)

and thatgirl, what if i am doting on my strat while in my lap also sits my little brat?

[miscorrections]

I have to agree with Courtney, there's just something about a hot dad. Responsible! Caring! Hot! I'd never date one because I don't want to deal with children, but holy crap would I do bad things to a hot dad.

[JustSteve]

Most of the men I know consider watching their own children "babysitting".

the sad part is that a lot of society seems to feel that way, too. can't begin to tell you how many times i have been out with my kids and some random person comes up to me and comments "oh, babysitting the kids today?". I try, try, to politely inform them that i am their father and that i do not babysit my own kids.

[ThatGirl]

This guy can be pretty obnoxious, too, though. There's a big difference between an awesome dude who happens to play music and someone who thinks musicianship is an adequate substitute for a measurable personality. Guitar Guy is a really dull guy to be. I'm looking at you, everybody I've ever met.

Yeah but it's about who I'm most attracted to, and not neccesarily about who isn't a douchebag. And the jerks tend to be the ones you would rather bed down.

[ThatGirl]

as a stay at home dad of 2 little kids i would like to thank the ladies of the board for making me feel sexy ;)

and thatgirl, what if i am doting on my strat while in my lap also sits my little brat?

If your little brat was busy tuning your Strat, you might have something there.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Yeah, now that I know I won't be applying for anything unless it's something I really need. But now that I know I am really tempted to go out and get some furniture on one of those no interest deals, but I really don't want to get myself into trouble again. I do get a bunch of pre approved deals in the mail from capital one but they will give a card to just about anyone.

What you should try to get is a good AMEX or something else that isn't tied to a particular store but has a really good point system attached, as well as an into 0% APR. Start using it for all your regular purchases, pay those off immediately, and re-build your credit that way.

You can also use it to make a few big purchases during that initial year and take advantage of not having any interest...BUT only do so if you can adhere yourself to a good payment plan.

For me, generally I try to pay off every $1000 i put on my cards within 3-4 months. If that's not doable, I wait to make those purchases until I can.

However, there are always emergencies that pop up, which is another good reason to have a stable credit card around, like if your car blows up on you or you need to fly across the country for a funeral, or have an emergency room visit, etc.

EDIT: Also, be aware that those "pre-approved" letters are bullshit. That means nothing. Definitely do not apply for a card only because it says pre-approved. Do research and find a card that will give you the most bang for the buck. If you apply for a "pre-approved" card, they are STILL going to do a hard inquiry.

[locachica73]

Thanks Drinky, I will keep that in mind. I use to love my Southwest card because of the free flights so I might have to do a little research. :)

[casey]

Regarding single dads, I kind of agree. When I see my boyfriend with his son, it's really attractive to me. He is responsible, caring, and very committed to his son; all things I look for in a partner so I understand the sexiness factor. Especially since a lot of men don't take care of their kids.

That being said, I would never date a guy who has kids if the mom was still in the picture in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't want to deal with, for lack of a better term, baby mama drama.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

There are generally huge differences in what someone simply finds attractive and what they actually want.

[kitt kat]

So...Updates...

Ex-BF and I are still very much broken up. I haven't seen him in over a month and our email exchanges have been curt and brief. He is dragging ass on the tapes and running the label into the ground. Bleh! Also, he signed up for OK Cupid and has been going out with girls -- so that pretty much sealed the deal for me.

He had also unfriended me on Facebook a few weeks back, then apologized two days later and re-added me. I did not accept and I'm actually considering blocking him on Facebook entirely. I am way more sane when his stupid little face isn't popping up all over my Internetz.

But amidst all this crap -- I kinda met someone? I don't want to say "met someone" because that sounds way more serious than what it is...But I did meet this dude, we had been texting the past few days, and last night we hung out and (dare I say) I actually enjoyed myself??? I ended up also sleeping over at his house -- but I didn't SLEEP with him, because that's not how I roll.

I also feel really...strange? guilty? slutty? bad? for "moving on" (in the loosest sense of the word) so quickly, considering Chris and I dated for 4.5 years. But, this guy is really, really attractive and has great taste in music and...did I mention he's really hot?

I don't know. I'm torn. I definitely am too nice to just have a "rebound" person (plus, this guy is way too awesome to be a rebound) but I'm also not ready to jump back into a monogamous relationship. Help. Help. Help.

[chiapet]

Take it slow, be friends and don't worry about it becoming a serious monogamous relationship at this point? I think if you keep hanging out with him in a date-y sort of way, you should probably make sure he knows the score.

[kitt kat]

I mentioned it to him when we met as a conversation point in passing (it was relevant to whatever we were discussing) but I am not sure if he remembers or not? All my pictures are hidden on Facebook, so it's not like he can see all the pictures of my ex and I. (Although, I did see some pictures of him and his ex and she is way hotter than me...)

I was pretty good at putting the breaks on sleeping with him last night, and he was pretty understanding -- so I hope he knows? Or at least gets it?

But yeah, I totally get what yr saying and that's sort of where I am at with the situation. Long story short -- this guy is cool, nice to look at and at the very least is someone I can go to shows with...

EDIT: Also, his birthday is on Wednesday, which is pretty awkward. However, my band is playing a show that night, so I'll luckily be busy/unable to attend whatever he plans...

[TallGuyCM]

Also, he signed up for OK Cupid and has been going out with girls -- so that pretty much sealed the deal for me.

Is this a site for Radiohead fans to meet other Radiohead fans? And if so, does suprefan know about this?

[kitt kat]

^ +100000000 points

[GeezrRckr]

So...Updates...

Ex-BF and I are still very much broken up. I haven't seen him in over a month and our email exchanges have been curt and brief. He is dragging ass on the tapes and running the label into the ground. Bleh! Also, he signed up for OK Cupid and has been going out with girls -- so that pretty much sealed the deal for me.

He had also unfriended me on Facebook a few weeks back, then apologized two days later and re-added me. I did not accept and I'm actually considering blocking him on Facebook entirely. I am way more sane when his stupid little face isn't popping up all over my Internetz.

But amidst all this crap -- I kinda met someone? I don't want to say "met someone" because that sounds way more serious than what it is...But I did meet this dude, we had been texting the past few days, and last night we hung out and (dare I say) I actually enjoyed myself??? I ended up also sleeping over at his house -- but I didn't SLEEP with him, because that's not how I roll.

I also feel really...strange? guilty? slutty? bad? for "moving on" (in the loosest sense of the word) so quickly, considering Chris and I dated for 4.5 years. But, this guy is really, really attractive and has great taste in music and...did I mention he's really hot?

I don't know. I'm torn. I definitely am too nice to just have a "rebound" person (plus, this guy is way too awesome to be a rebound) but I'm also not ready to jump back into a monogamous relationship. Help. Help. Help.
Will you sign my yearbook.

[kitt kat]

2 GOOD 2 B 4GOTTEN
K.I.T TTYL <33333




But really, where are the ladies at here? I need yr seasoned lady-focused advice. Also, I am really bad at this "don't text him back" thing because...I really want to hang out with this guy again...

[chairmenmeow47]

my seasoned lady advice is to fuck guyS and never call them again.

[amyzzz]

But that's not how she rolls.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

It's a hard life being a serial monogamist cock tease self-proclaimed feminist that is secretly DTF

[Courtney]

Jeez folk.

Kat, I don't see what's wrong with just telling the truth and letting the guy know that you think ge is really cool, but you are also just getting out of a serious relationship and would like to take things slowly.

[GeezrRckr]

Just make sure to get his attention via FB, then tell him how you feel w a Tweet and then reel him in w a text that simply says "Holla".

That should do the trick.

[rskapcat]

Kat, I'm going to echo Courtney. Just be honest with the guy. If he's cool with taking things slow, awesome. If he just wants to get in your pants, he's not what you're looking for anyway. (No matter how hot he is. :p)

You boys are being dicks.

[obzen]

It's a hard life being a serial monogamist cock tease self-proclaimed feminist that is secretly DTF


HA!!!






#Edna Krabappel

[miscorrections]

If he just wants to get in your pants, use him wildly and vigorously and then slap him in the face.

[ThatGirl]

Don't feel guilty about anything - you aren't moving on yet, it's not possible after a long term relationship to be over it in a matter of a few days. This new guy, while you say you aren't going to rebound on anyone, even though you think he's awesome, is clearly a transitional person for you. But as long as you don't try to turn it into something it's not there isn't anything to feel bad about. Only do what makes you comfortable..if he's hot and you want to go to bed with him there is no reason to feel bad about it - but just be sure to be clear with him, and keep aware of how you are feeling so that you aren't hurt in the process.

[Courtney]

I forgot to bring a clean change of underwear to the gym this morning, so I am now going commando under my dress at work. I am being extra, extra careful about how I sit today. I have never understood how women do this on a regular basis.

[chiapet]

I also find it really impossible. I'm not at all a modest person, so not only would I not go underwearless, I feel like I have to wear shorts or opaque tights under skirts so I don't accidentally flash people.

And with pants? It feels AWFUL. How do people do that?

[locachica73]

I can do pajama bottoms, sweats and shorts while commando around the house but for some reason when I am out in public it just feels wrong. Although as a kid I hated wearing panties and actually got reprimanded at church when I was like 4 because I was sitting very unladylike and had ditched my underwear at some point.

[adrianisgnarly]

New here.

So no males in this thread whatsoever?

[locachica73]

No, boys do read it and occasionally comment. Then we all start talking about our periods so they leave.

[miscorrections]

Ha, when I was a kid I have a distinct memory of going to a Chinese restaurant wearing a dress but not wearing underwear. And since I had the unfortunate habit of pulling my dresses up to hide my face, most people quickly became aware of that fact. My parents were mortified. Whatever, though, I didn't like underpants.

Now I'm like Heidi - not only do I ALWAYS wear underpants, if I'm wearing a dress or skirt I always wear tights or shorts or something underneath so I can jump around or sit cross-legged or generally be a child without having to worry.

[adrianisgnarly]

Got it. So what's going on now?

[miscorrections]

Generally with message boards you read the posts and then respond. Generally.

[guedita]

Adrian, do you like to party?

[adrianisgnarly]

Generally with message boards you read the posts and then respond. Generally.

I'm a lazy piece of paper.

[ThatGirl]

Ha, when I was a kid I have a distinct memory of going to a Chinese restaurant wearing a dress but not wearing underwear. And since I had the unfortunate habit of pulling my dresses up to hide my face, most people quickly became aware of that fact. My parents were mortified. Whatever, though, I didn't like underpants.

Now I'm like Heidi - not only do I ALWAYS wear underpants, if I'm wearing a dress or skirt I always wear tights or shorts or something underneath so I can jump around or sit cross-legged or generally be a child without having to worry.

I feel the same way! I'd rather have tights on or leggings with dresses so it feels more casual and comfortable. I have a friend that told me she never wore underwear at any time, she never had through her growing up years either. I think if I left the house in a dress or skirt without underwear on I'd feel nude. I just couldn't do it. Too breezy. In yoga pants or sweats maybe, but that's my limit too.

[Courtney]

Ha, Corinna's Chinese restaurant story sounds like my little sister. She is 5 years younger than me, and she was ALWAYS pulling that shit while we were growing up. She refused to wear underwear for an entire summer once. Needless to say, I found it tiresome.

[chiapet]

Similarly, my baby brother used to take his clothes off and run around naked because he thought it was hilarious. Especially when we were out, or had company.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Well, that is kind of hilarious.

[chiapet]

It was sort of hilarious, because HE thought it was hilarious, and he'd laugh and laugh and it was sort of infectious. Plus it made my parents so mad!

He was sort of a weirdo in general. He'd eat SO MUCH (he was really fat when he was little... well, skinny with a huge stomach), but at the same time really neurotic about what he would eat. He would not eat certain normal things, he would cry, and if my dad made him eat anyway... he would purposefully throw up AT THE TABLE.

It got to the point that my other sibling and I would eat VERY quickly, then leave the room. We didn't want to be there for it. I have a very clear memory from when I was like 8 or 9, realizing this was going to happen again, leaving the dining room and going into our living room to jump on a trampoline with my hands covering my ears.... just moments before he puked everywhere. I am not sure why the trampoline was necessary... but it did keep me from hearing him puke.

I am pretty sure my dad was trying to 'force' him to eat chocolate cake.

[Courtney]

So today I did remember all my clothing for the gym, however I forgot that I have bruises freaking EVERYWHERE and my legs are not in miniskirt condition. Unfortunately I only realized this as I was parking for work. Oh man I look like some sort of abuse victim today.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6048/6359343735_9483697b09_z.jpg

[Sleepingrock]

My Women's Studies teacher last year was mentioning how abuse victims will call sick into work if they have many bruises particularly black eyes. One day she was mowing the lawn at her house and it kicked back and gave her a black eye, so she, not wanting to go in with a black eye called in sick to her job, which was at a Transition House.

[chairmenmeow47]

my guy friends and i used to rough house a lot in high school. i always had bruises on my arms and legs. my high school BFF once walked by a group of teachers saying "do you have that ivy girl in your class? i think she gets abused at home"

[Courtney]

I don't even know where they come from half the time. I just am constantly getting bruises. I think it's a combination of being iron deficient and also just being so pale that every little thing shows.

Although in this case I'm pretty sure they are from banging 25 lb weights against my legs at the gym. Whoooops.

[amyzzz]

I get a lot of random bruises too. Right now I have this enormous, purple softball-sized one on my knee.

[locachica73]

I bruise pretty easily too and never know why I have them, in most cases I don't even know that I have them until Nick sees it and presses it really hard. Grrr.

[miscorrections]

Every time I get laid the next day I have crazy bruises all over my boobs. No idea why, it's not like they're being attacked by a pack of wolves, but it always happens.

[Courtney]

To be fair, Corinna if we were hooking up I'm pretty sure I would violently attack your boobs.

[chiapet]

I bruise pretty easily too. My arms and boobs are always super bruised after sex.

[kitt kat]

I get random bruises all the time. I'm generally clumsy, though...so....

OK: Would it be weird and too forward to text this guy and see what he's doing tonight? We went to dinner earlier this week, I went out with him for his birthday...but I don't know if I have that ability to text him and have it not look too desperate yet...Last time I talked to him was yesterday afternoon and I was the one who did not respond to his text.

[miscorrections]

You should always be able to text whomever you like. I don't know why it would even be an issue.

[miscorrections]

"What're you up to tonight" via text is pretty much as noncommittal as you can get.

[kitt kat]

You know that stupid rule where you're supposedly not supposed to reach out to people because it makes you look over eager? I am always afraid of that rule.

My bandmates say I shouldn't text him; the feminist in me says WHATEVER IT'S FRIDAY AND I WANT TO PARTY WITH A HOT GUY.

[kitt kat]

"What're you up to tonight" via text is pretty much as noncommittal as you can get.

I like this, and this is exactly what I was going to send.

So suck it, non-feminist bandmates. I will txt whomever I want, whenever I want.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sNbbyJE7XBM/Ti1N3Y4yYjI/AAAAAAAAATI/p45c6Dw9Q5c/s1600/eric-cartman-2402.jpg

[Courtney]

Rules are dumb. If you like someone just contact him/her.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I think it's extremely silly that seeing if somebody wants to hang out somehow seems desperate. Sending him many texts in a short period of time because he hasn't responded yet might seem so, but reaching out because you want to have fun with someone is a pretty normal human thing.

i hate all of those rules about when/how to contact people. I don't quite get how being/not being a feminist has anything to do with it.

EDIT: Also, what Courtney said, hahaaa

[kitt kat]

Well, now...we wait.

[chiapet]

You know that stupid rule where you're supposedly not supposed to reach out to people because it makes you look over eager?

That is not a "rule," that's a "game."

[kitt kat]

Meh, no response. I guess nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Holy shit, it's been 40 minutes and it's the middle of the day...I'm assuming he has a job?