The Girls Only Thread

[SFChrissy]

hayyyy ladiesss!!! xoxoxoxooo

[locachica73]

2. its really not a good idea to be using the pull out method as your standard means of protection. according to this super handy chart http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods it has a 27% failure rate, 5th worst of all the methods.

I know, it totally sucks. But I also got pregnant with my son on the pill so this route seems to be working for me a little better. I did use condoms for a very long time but unfortunately I found I was allergic to latex. Lambskin condoms are so damn expensive we finally made the decision to give them up. It also helps to know your cycle and know when you are fertile.

I do trust Nick though so I am not worried about strange vagina. If I suspected that he was cheating he would be gone and I would have to go back to condoms. ICK.


hayyyy ladiesss!!! xoxoxoxooo

Hello Miss Chrissy. :)

[chiapet]

I'm somewhat allergic to latex but fortunately condoms haven't started to bother me yet. I mean if I'm exposed for excessively prolonged periods of time, I do start to react to them, but it's been more an issue with -wearing- latex, or even like using latex pilates bands. Heh.

There are polyurethane condoms, you know, you shouldn't be allergic to those. Personally I don't bother with lambskin since it doesn't protect against STDs.

[captncrzy]

Preparation H works fantastic as an under-eye puffiness reducer. Although, there's something weird about putting bunghole cream on your face.

[locachica73]

I'm somewhat allergic to latex but fortunately condoms haven't started to bother me yet. I mean if I'm exposed for excessively prolonged periods of time, I do start to react to them, but it's been more an issue with -wearing- latex, or even like using latex pilates bands. Heh.

There are polyurethane condoms, you know, you shouldn't be allergic to those. Personally I don't bother with lambskin since it doesn't protect against STDs.

I don't know if it was the latex or the spermicide shit they put on them. I just know it really fucked with my ummm bits. If I were single and out fucking around I would make the investment into the costco box of non latex condoms but Nick and I are exclusive and plan to stay that way for awhile. I just need to get my tubes tied so I am not fretting if I am a day late. Even when I was single and using condoms though I still fretted each month. The last thing I need is another kid.

[chiapet]

Oh, spermicide could definitely be it. It's /awful/, I think a lot of people react to it. It's pretty intense stuff. A lot of people seem to be bothered by it, it makes my skin burn if I even get it on my hands, let alone rubbing around in my bits.

The spermicide reaction for me was nearly instant fire. Had to stop after a minute or two, washed as well as I could and if I'd had douching equipment on hand I would have tried that because it was /awful/. It felt like a combination of being burned and abraded, *in your vagina*. It look several days before things were completely back to normal.

Whereas, I am not like deathly allergic to latex (some people are, can you imagine?) so in normal situations I'm fine, but if I'm, I don't know, using condoms for like 4 hours non-stop it starts to bother me, nothing too bad, just a little itchiness & irritation.

It seems to matter how much of myself is in contact with latex, like I said, condoms, fine, latex gloves bother me a tiny bit but not too bad, but latex stockings or bodysuit will give me hives and make me wheeze. :)

[chiapet]

Also, I think this may have been disproven, but there was some research that spermicide could raise your risk for fluid transferred diseases, specifically HIV. This was because in practically everyone, it causes abrasions to the body tissues (normally insignificant enough that you would not notice) which could theoretically make you more susceptible if you were to come into contact with body fluids containing the virus.

Spermicide condoms were marketed as -not for sodomy-. And they say that the amount of spermicide on a coated condom is not really enough to prevent pregnancy at all. Not like sponges or a diaphragm.

[Astrid]

spermicide is AWFUL. the smell of condoms is already rather nauseating to me, spermicidal condoms disgust me. the smell takes FOREVER to wash off. Baaaaaaarf.

perhaps this all has to do with my freakish sense of smell, but i feel like condom smell noticeably lingers. one of the many reasons condoms and i arent very good friends.

[chiapet]

Condom smell does noticeably linger. I've come to terms with the normal lubricated ones but spermicide ones are really awful, and "flavored" condoms make me want to gag (even without tasting them).

[Astrid]

flavored condoms confuse me to no end. WHY? i have so many questions....

i have never and will never lick a condom.

[chiapet]

I have tried it, just because, I will try most things once (or twice). Flavored condoms are so fucking vile though. And I just don't really see the point. If someone's junk is that worrisome, I don't want it in my mouth even coated with a lil bit of latex.

[BROKENDOLL]

flavored condoms confuse me to no end. WHY? i have so many questions....
i have never and will never lick a condom.
Oh, my...that would be like the piece of gum that just keeps on chewing... and chewing... Ugh, I really feel for you guys that are single and having to date while facing all the obstacles along the way. Birth control, STDs, what's acceptable and what isn't, or how and what to do to meet someone before the obstacles even start. Makes me appreciate having Pete even more!


Flavored condoms...WTF?

[locachica73]

OK girls I need some help/advice/words of encouragement. As most of you know my daughter has ran away off and on since she was 14. The last time they found her she was put in a halfway house where she has to stay till she is 18. She turns 18 in November. We are so close... Last night she seemed kind of down and I kept asking her what was wrong. She finally told me that she is bored with her life and is considering running away again. She wants to go to Missoula, Montana (sp?). Why, I really have no idea. She said something about wanting to see the moose... She is a hippie at heart. She wants to travel across the country and/or world without any responsibilities. She is willing to hitchhike to make this happen. Which, needless to say, I am not all that cool with. So I tried to explain to her that there is a different way to go about it. If she finishes school and gets a job she can totally do the traveling that she wants to do but the right way. I explained to her that even if she gets a job she doesn't care for much every dollar she makes outside of room and board can go towards her travel fund.

She of course doesn't buy it because I am her mom and don't know anything. So how do I get through to her? I even brought up some of you guys who travel all over the world to music festivals which did give her a glimmer of interest.

I just worry about her so much. She just wants to be free to roam the world on her own. Which I guess isn't a horrible thing but I know the risks out there for a young girl traveling alone. I want her to be safe and semi responsible. I am considering telling her probation officer what her plan is but don't want to make it so that she feels like she can't talk to me. Am I over reacting? Should I let her go and hope for the best? She is almost 18 after all. Any advice on what to tell her that will make her realize there is a better way?

When she runs away I am always so scared I am going to get that phone call that I have to go ID her body. That is my biggest fear. I know eventually I have to just let her go, I am just not ready yet.

Sorry for the rambling, I do that when I am lost.

[J~$$$$]

Tell her to get her teaching degree then she can go to a new country every year teach English get paid and see the world. My sister has been doing it for 5 years and traveled everywhere. She said she wouldn't see the world any other way.

[J~$$$$]

The plus is when I travel I have a place to stay and transportation. Not to mention connections in other countries she has taught in.


Why don't you two take a road trip?

[captncrzy]

I don't think there's much you can do. She's basically an adult. Give her some lessons on being safe (like, you really should get a cheap car rather than hitchhike if you want to tool around the country, etc.) She'll probably go regardless, so it's better to support her in it rather than try to hold her back. Then she'll just be gone.

[locachica73]

I can't really afford to go anywhere yet. I am still playing catch up from being unemployed for so long. She sees that though, sees how hard I have worked all her life and never had the money to go anywhere. I tried to explain that if she doesn't have kids she can live an entirely different life then I did. I told her that in the next couple of years when her and her brother are on their own I will finally be able to do all those things I missed out on and that her and I could do them together. She did like the sound of that. Maybe I should take her to Coachella next year. Then I can let her see all my cool friends that don't have kids and can get up and go whenever they choose. :)

[captncrzy]

Not a bad idea to take her to Coachella.

[locachica73]

I don't think there's much you can do. She's basically an adult. Give her some lessons on being safe (like, you really should get a cheap car rather than hitchhike if you want to tool around the country, etc.) She'll probably go regardless, so it's better to support her in it rather than try to hold her back. Then she'll just be gone.

I considered telling her that if she finishes school I would help her get the volkswagon bus she has craved all her life and she can travel in that. I would feel a lot better about it if she had her own transportation (escape route).

[J~$$$$]

You want to scare the shit out of her about hitchhiking just tell her the Colleen Stan story.

[locachica73]

I don't know the Colleen Stan story. Do I want to know the Colleen Stan story?????

Ok I googled it... Holy shit. I might have to have Alysha read that. Scary.

[J~$$$$]

everytime you hitch hike you are one step closer to being molesterd.

[guedita]

If she wants to go to Montana, she should maybe look into wilderness programs or working for a National Park there. That's a GREAT way to experience some travel and see a different part of a country (and she could get paid to do it). The teaching/traveling route is also a good option, a few of my friends have done that and it seems to be a fantastic experience.

[locachica73]

If she wants to go to Montana, she should maybe look into wilderness programs or working for a National Park there. That's a GREAT way to experience some travel and see a different part of a country (and she could get paid to do it). The teaching/traveling route is also a good option, a few of my friends have done that and it seems to be a fantastic experience.

I don't know if teaching is the right route for her since she doesn't like kids much, but I will mention both those options. She had thought maybe she would join the air force but has since changed her mind, which I have to say I am very happy about.

[captncrzy]

The military (while scary) may not be a bad thing for her. It would force her to get her act together, for sure.

[amyzzz]

I agree with Jen. The military might help her, and she'd get to travel and see the world that way too. But then of course you'd worry about her all the more. :( Maybe try the Navy or Coast Guard?

[locachica73]

I don't know if I could handle her joining the military. I have a good friend who joined for schooling and traveling... He has been in close to three years now and they just decided to ship him off to Afghanistan. I am so worried about him, I can't imagine if it were my daughter.

[chiapet]

I considered telling her that if she finishes school I would help her get the volkswagon bus she has craved all her life and she can travel in that. I would feel a lot better about it if she had her own transportation (escape route).

Convince her to go with a friend and in a car or van. NOT hitchhiking and NOT alone. The US is vast and full of really remote areas (especially with the areas she's expressed interested in) and minimally it would suck to get stuck somewhere alone without money or with a broken down car. She may feel tough and worldly after her misadventures but there are very real dangers out there no matter how independent you are.

For some reason I feel like Europe is safer to travel solo... I don't know why that is, maybe I'm biased, or maybe it's just because you almost always are on public transit. Is that something she would be interested in? Maybe convince her to stick around and work for x months until she has enough money to backpack?

[amyzzz]

My in-laws were in the Navy and hardly ever saw any action, so that's why I mentioned that, Audra.

[chiapet]

My ex was in the Navy and got to go to Iraq (Desert Storm, The Original). There is not really any branch that's safe from action.

[locachica73]

She has not mentioned anything about another country, before it was always California but now out of the blue it's Minnesota. I am just hoping this doesn't have something to do with the boy. She has a new boyfriend now who is really good to her but I am worried that the loser may have got in touch with her and fucked with her head again. I asked her if that was the case but she says no. I just don't know that I believe her. She wouldn't tell me if he was back because she knows I want to have him arrested (or killed). I just hope she makes the right choice.

[amyzzz]

Also, I've probably mentioned this before, but the only place I ever hitchhiked was Wales (with my girl friend) and had no problems. I've heard good things about hitchhiking in Ireland too.

[chiapet]

Well I used to hitchhike in the midwest when I was like 17-20, and nothing bad happened to me, but it was stupid, you know? I tried to only take rides from women or people with kids in the car, and to stay on busy roads so that if someone pulled over to offer me a ride and was sketchy, I wasn't alone with that person.

[locachica73]

I was way too terrified to hitchhike. I don't even like traveling alone via planes and cars... I am kind of a chicken. She is not afraid of anything. Maybe I should just let her live her life and have her adventures. Maybe I should be a little less scared of the boogy man.

[amyzzz]

Yeah, I was terrified, but my friend assured me she'd done it before with no problem and there were no buses in the area, so if you weren't renting a car, you pretty much had to hitchhike. Sorry, this isn't really any help, Audra.

[chiapet]

I love traveling alone and nothing bad has ever happened to me. But I definitely felt less safe driving alone than anything else. I guess it's because I always had junky cars that would break down in random places. Cell coverage was spotty then.. and even now there are a lot of places that aren't covered.

[BROKENDOLL]

Audra, When I got to the part of your post that said Montana, my first thought or question was where is that piece of shit boyfriend she had that you can't stand? I mean, seriously, 18 year old girls who are bored with their lives, don't go to Montana to see moose. I sense a red flag.

And, knowing that your daughter is gonna pretty much do what she wants, and that this is the last time you'll actually have her under your wing, I think you need to make the very best of your time together. I think Jess's first idea for a road trip was excellent, and while you're on a bit of a budget, no one says it has to be a pricey road trip. (Remember, she's willing to hitchhike.) Maybe take a weekend drive to L.A. or the beach together, or San Diego. But, make it a trip for just the two of you.

One of your responses to someone was that she seemed to get excited at the thought of you two doing a road trip when you had the funds one day. Little weekends road trips aren't that expensive, and you won't have time to get on each other's nerves that way either. You said when you talked to her about the people here going to festivals and that seemed to catch her attention, why not make that Coachella idea work for the both of you... I guess the point I'm trying to make is the fact that all these years as a single parent supporting 2 kids, probably didn't give you much bonding time other than that of the parental kind. And maybe when you had spare time, it was spent for yourself which is absolutely necessary for your sanity, but unfortunately took away from that bonding time. I recall you mentioning how Coachella was an escape from your kids before. Maybe she'd like to spend time with Mom when Mom lets her hair down. After all, you're both adults now. And it's time together, which is what I think you both really need now.

Put the parenting aspect aside and enjoy the friendship part of it...It may end up buying you more time before she spreads her wings to fly if she knows she has a friend who wants to share more time with her. And actually, if you start bringing up Coachella plans now with her, there's a chance she'll get as excited as the rest of us and forget about that damn Moose crap.

[chiapet]

BD, that's a great point. My mom and I didn't always get along very well when I was a teen because I was so desperate to be free and away from my parents and where I grew up. I did not want to spend time with her but the few times I remember that were a lot of fun, she arranged little trips for the two of us (or sometimes including my aunt who I idolized). We did not have much money to spend, so sometimes it was just driving a few hours away and staying in a cheap hotel for the night and reading gossip magazines and watching crappy movies. The most fun thing we ever did, I think, is, when we didn't have money to shop, she took me to this awful kind of ghetto mall, and we tried on ridiculous stuff and tried to out-do each other in awfulness.

[locachica73]

I am starting to get caught up and my car will be paid off in a couple months. I am thinking by then I should be able to do a road trip with her. Or throw the coachella idea past her. I have no problem taking her once she is 18. I just don't want to have to have the it's ok for me but not ok for you conversation in regards to drugs, but once she is 18 and has a diploma and shows some responsibility it will be ok for her too.

[amyzzz]

Can you try Coachella sober just next year? or is it just not worth it without the drugs?

[locachica73]

If I tried it sober I am sure I would be the only one. I am ok with her experimenting once she is off probation though. I have told her that before. If she can experiment while still holding down a job and taking care of what she needs to take care of then I have no problem with her dabbling. I would rather her get it out of her system at a young age.

[amyzzz]

If you change your mind, I will be going sober next year, so you can hang with me sometimes if you feel left out.

[locachica73]

Does sober mean no pot or booze too? Man, I can't be around that many people without some sort of substance in my body.

[amyzzz]

Would you feel comfortable having your daughter see you smoke pot or drink? If so, no biggie. I don't drink or smoke, so I wouldn't be doing that anyway. :) (and I don't have a problem with you doing it near me either).

[locachica73]

My kids know that I partake, my son has stolen my weed a few times. I hid it from them for years but once they started doing it themselves they figured it out. I guess stoners can recognize fellow stoners. I wouldn't have a problem with her seeing me smoke or drink at the age of 18 though, I probably wouldn't do anything else though. She doesn't need to see the extent of my party.

[guedita]

Maybe her and a friend can go to Coachella and you have like check in moments with her, so that you aren't together the entire time. That way, you can still partake in some of your partying but not do it in front of her.

[chiapet]

Does sober mean no pot or booze too? Man, I can't be around that many people without some sort of substance in my body.

Loca, I drink in the mornings and late at night at Coachella, but am almost always sober through the actual festival part. Just throwing that out there in case you need sober buddies if you decide you don't feel comfortable with your daughter seeing that. :)

[locachica73]

I couldn't afford to take anyone other than my daughter, and I don't know that any of her friends have that kind of cash available. We will see though. She is really good at making friends though so I am sure she would find some kids her age to spend time with. I am kind of getting excited at the idea of taking her with me. I hope she won't think it is too uncool to hang out with mom all weekend. Of course this means I will have to take Jacob when he turns 18 too. Which is cool because I doubt I will ever get Nick to go so at least I have traveling buddies.

[chiapet]

I just want to point out that I didn't think it was that weird that my dad gave me alcohol or drugs. :P And having access to it when I was under 18 or just over did not exactly ruin my life or turn me into a wreck. And that I would have been thrilled to go to a music festival with him.

I've invited my sibs quite a few times, but I am not sure how I feel about the substance stuff and them. One of them would be fine with it (maybe too interested actually), the one I really want to go and who I think would like the music the most would be very disapproving.

[amyzzz]

I am already turning my girls into my concert buddies. :p My younger daughter is STILL REALLY UPSET that my older daughter got to go to one more concert with me alone than she did. (I took Cerys to DCFC and Green Day (Franz opening) but I took Eve to only Coldplay).

[chiapet]

That is really awesome. I wish my mom had been more interested in music. She likes music of course, but isn't really very passionate about it. The stuff we've seen together has mostly been free orchestra & chamber music performances and such.

Honestly one of the ways I feel most ripped off in life is not getting to have my dad around for concerts. We would have had such a brilliant time.

[locachica73]

I use to be the cool mom that let the kids have their friends over fully aware they were smoking or drinking. I just figured I would rather them be in my house then out running the streets. But then they took advantage of my coolness and walked all over me. I don't let them do that anymore. But once they are 18 I don't see any reason I can't start again.

[amyzzz]

Yeah, I'm going to strive not to be their friend, but just a sort of cool-ish mom. I don't want my kids to get caught up in bad stuff or walk all over me.

I hope you can build a better relationship with your daughter, Audra, and I hope she will not engage in dangerous behaviors like she has in the past.

[chiapet]

I think it depends on the kids. My dad trusted me and made it clear that supplying me was dependent on that trust, ie, I could drink and smoke at home, but he was not crazy about me drinking at parties, but I didn't get in trouble unless I were to drive in those situations nor ride with a driver who was not sober. I called my dad a few times for a ride home and he never complained.

The rules were not anti-alcohol or anti-drugs but more about not putting yourself in danger. Since they did not villainize drinking or drug use, there wasn't that much to rebel from.

The only thing they got mad about was cigarette smoking, but that was just because my mom had such trouble quitting, she did not want any of us to end up with the habit.

[locachica73]

My problem with the kids partaking is that they have no motivation to do anything else. My son just wants to smoke weed. All day, every day. I am glad that he isn't into harder drugs but seriously, I don't want him to grow up to be "that guy". I just want them to be like me and the people I know who do their thing on the down time but know when to be responsible also.

Plus, with their fathers history I worry that they will eventually get into harder drugs. I have pretty much stuck to being a stoner, up until recently I had never tried any other drug. My kids have probably tried them all except meth and heroin. I just never want it to get to that point knowing what happened to their dad.

[amyzzz]

Just keep warning them of the dangers of the harder drugs and hope, I guess. That stoner lack of motivation mentality is one of the reasons I've not tried pot. I'm already unmotivated enough without it.

[locachica73]

I guess I am glad that I can't really function when high. I went to work stoned once and it was the worst work day of my life. I was only 16 at the time so I just never really tried it again. I also can't drive high so I have to be at home or somewhere where I won't have to drive before I can get stoned. I wouldn't even call myself a stoner, I smoke a few times a week usually and never before or during work. I never understand the guys that smoke all day while working. Nick does that and he works out in the heat. I couldn't handle it.

[BROKENDOLL]

If I tried it sober I am sure I would be the only one. I am ok with her experimenting once she is off probation though. I have told her that before. If she can experiment while still holding down a job and taking care of what she needs to take care of then I have no problem with her dabbling. I would rather her get it out of her system at a young age.
I'm giggling at this because you said it, and we all know about your system, kiddo... *still giggling*


My kids know that I partake, my son has stolen my weed a few times. I hid it from them for years but once they started doing it themselves they figured it out. I guess stoners can recognize fellow stoners. I wouldn't have a problem with her seeing me smoke or drink at the age of 18 though, I probably wouldn't do anything else though. She doesn't need to see the extent of my party.
Loca, surprise! I have a pretty good feeling that considering the things you've shared with us, that your daughter could show you how to party...Just a heads up there.


I couldn't afford to take anyone other than my daughter, and I don't know that any of her friends have that kind of cash available. We will see though. She is really good at making friends though so I am sure she would find some kids her age to spend time with. I am kind of getting excited at the idea of taking her with me. I hope she won't think it is too uncool to hang out with mom all weekend. Of course this means I will have to take Jacob when he turns 18 too. Which is cool because I doubt I will ever get Nick to go so at least I have traveling buddies.
When Mom invites you to join her on the weekend she lets her hair down, believe me, it's cool! What I'm really thinking, Loca, is your daughter saw the "cool mom," and while she may have abused it, she ended up seeing the authoritarian figure also. Maybe before she spreads those wings of hers, just let her see Audra instead. BTW I'm pushing for the Coachella idea bigtime! Believe me, she's not gonna see anything she probably hasn't seen before, and her boring life will be the last thing on her mind!

[locachica73]

Oh, I know she has seen plenty. More than I can even imagine. She was living in a hippie commune in Northern California for several months with the loser. I just want her to see the other side of it. The ability to be responsible while still getting your party on.

[BROKENDOLL]

Oh, I know she has seen plenty. More than I can even imagine. She was living in a hippie commune in Northern California for several months with the loser. I just want her to see the other side of it. The ability to be responsible while still getting your party on.
Then be yourself Audra and show her how it's done. Anything but Montana! I have a good feeling that the commune may have headed that way, jackass included. (You don't want or need to worry about that shit.)

[locachica73]

I just can't believe that she would go back with him. He bit her face for goodness sake. I would love to just beat the fucker to death.

[amyzzz]

Have you asked her yet what the draw of Montana is?

[Sleepingrock]

Have you asked her yet what the draw of Montana is?

Moose?

[BROKENDOLL]

Oh, Bullwinkle!

[chiapet]

I am watching something on BBCA about how traumatic it is to have huge breasts, which my Tivo decided I might like. (HHAHAHAHA). So far it's a lot of close ups of cleavage. I'm sure it will go downhill from here.

[rskapcat]

It was actually kinda interesting, Heidi. We watched most of it last night.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I guess I am glad that I can't really function when high. I went to work stoned once and it was the worst work day of my life.

Hahahaha. I had the same experience the one time I decided to smoke weed during a lunch break and go back to work when i was like 18 or 19. Absolutely fucking horrible.

[locachica73]

Have you asked her yet what the draw of Montana is?

Her answer is moose... and it isn't hot there. I asked her if it has anything to do with the boy but she says no. She says he is dead to her. I want to believe her but it's hard to do.


Hahahaha. I had the same experience the one time I decided to smoke weed during a lunch break and go back to work when i was like 18 or 19. Absolutely fucking horrible.

Yeah, I was around the same age, maybe a little younger. I worked at Arby's on the drive through. That day they decided to bring some managers in to audit the store. Some guy stood there watching me for about an hour. I was sure he had to know I was high. Never had to desire to do it again.

[chiapet]

^^^ Same, and I had a job where I had to sit at a desk and "watch" data on screens. It required such intense concentration and effort to stay in my chair and at least pretend to be doing my job.


And yea, "moose"? Bullshit.

[BROKENDOLL]

Okay, it's open opinion time...As most of you know, I've known Pete for 20 years. I first met him and his wife Sheri when I moved to the desert. Her ex-husband was my desert roommate and we lived across the street from them. Her and I quickly became friends, and in my eyes more like family after the first few years. I looked up to Pete and Sheri as "that couple." You know, always together, forever...

Now, apparently, the reason they got divorced several years later was because Sheri got too neighborly with her ex...while she was pregnant with Pete's baby. I went away on my learning adventure for 2 years and returned thinking all was well with the little familia. It wasn't. Pete had intended to stay until his daughter was 18, but Sheri made him so miserable, yet threatened him with taking everything, etc... It took him another 5 years or so to finally say, "fuck it," and he moved in with another gal. I, on the other hand hoped it would all blow over and they'd work things out. For 2-3 years after that, I was Sheri's crying towel and supportive friend, and when ever she would talk shit about Pete, I knew better, and made it clear that I wasn't choosing sides in the matter. Of course I hadn't seen him for awhile, and after another year or two when I did run into him, we sat and talked. That left me with both sides to the story... I made it clear to him as I did Sheri, that in no way was I gonna tolerate listening to them bash each other. He was good about it. Sheri, on the other hand made it clear when I told her I saw and talked to Pete, that her and I had no reason to see or speak to each other again. And she fucking meant it. I mean, c;mon, he was living with someone else, and who was she to tell me who I could or couldn't call a friend?

Another year or so later, Pete wasn't happy where he was at and I offered him a place to stay. Afterall, they brought me into their home at one time, I felt it was right. As you can imagine, that went over really well with Sheri. In fact, she made it a point to tell everyone the news...or atleast her version of it. Her version seemed to forget her cheating on him, as well as his living with someone else for almost 4 years. Instead, I was made out to be the shithead ex-girlfriend that steals your husband! That couldn't be any furether from the truth, and quite honestly, I told Pete at the start, that there is kind of a hidden vow among women that you just don't do that.

It took over another year for him to convince me that what we were doing was okay...she just didn't like the idea that her ex-friend and her ex-husband were happy together and she couldn't do a thing but talk shit about it. Inside I felt bad, but at the same time, it was her who dissed me long before Pete and I got together.

So now, Pete and I have been happily together for the last 5 years, and as many times as I tried to contact Sheri and make amends, she wanted nothing to do with me. Pete, on the other hand still got invited to family like functions by her because of course, there was still a daughter in the picture. He hated this setup, but I actually accepted it because of that "hidden vow" thing. Mutual friends of ours have gotten married, including an ex of mine, where I didn't go because I didn't think it was nice to show up with Pete knowing Sheri was there. (Why add fuel to her fucking fire?)

Throughout this time, I held onto the hope that maybe one day it would stop and we could pick up where our friendship left off. She had had several boyfriends by then, so I didn't see where there was an impossibility of it happeneing... that is until about a week and a half ago... She lost her fight to Cancer after going almost a year or so battling it. :( Several times I tried to offer any help she needed. I wanted to be the friend to support her, regardless of how she treated me. I recall asking her the first time what I could do to help and her reply was, "You can take my place and die instead." (Yes, my friend could be a real cunt when she wanted to be.)

I did get to speak to her about a week before, and she was actually cordial. What blew me away was her great amount of strength, because by that time, she knew it was a matter of time...maybe only months. I told Pete that I really needed to just go there and walk in, whether she expected it or not and just talk... It's not that I felt any guilt or anything. I just wanted her to know that I still cared for her as a friend. It wasn't even a week later when his daughter called to tell us it would be hours. Pete and I were gonna go, but I made it clear we wouldn't walk in together...it just wasn't right. Unfortunately, neither was the timing...She past away within an hour of that call...

Now I'm left missing someone who I genuinely cared about, but unsure of how to feel in regards to paying my respects. As you can guess, Pete's taking this with a grain of salt, mainly because he truly believes in Karma. I, on that other hand again, feel that nobody deserves to get Cancer. That fucking shit just cheats as it wins. I'm sure her family, who knew me when we were friends, has heard her updated version and opinion of me, as well as many friends we shared. I'm going throught the stage of massive crying over the loss, followed by anger because she really was a fucking cunt towards me. And I know it's gonna be hard to attend the memorial, but you can bet I'll be there because of all the memories between us, the good times still stand out the most. I've even worked on a eulogy, but I'm not sure if it would be acceptable in this case. I'm also planning on volunteering with the free mammogram program to continue the fight that she lost. Should I just do this? Should I call her mother and offer help with the services or should I first even ask if it's okay? I cetainly don't want to go and find myself defending myself, nor do I want to avoid it because of the stupidity of this whole thing. Knowing all of this now, any opinions or suggestions?

Sorry about the novel length of this...I do feel better now after sharing it if that means anything...

[Astrid]

re loca: i completely agree with BD. at around that age all i wanted in the world was to get as far away from my family and boring life as possible. i feel that is very much a passing phase. i still want to travel and adventure and be free, but its not in such a needy and retarded way. spend all the time you have left with her cultivating your relationship. now is the time that you get to be friends, still always her mother at the core, but if she trusts you and respects your opinions and advice then you can feel assured she will always turn to you when she is in trouble. stress the i support you in whatever will make you happy as long as you are safe mantra. hang out, be honest with her, tell her your mistakes, especially the worst ones. then she wont feel so bad calling you for help when shes fucked up.

re BD: i think you should definitely go. you just have to realize that the family is dealing with a great loss, they probably wont be tripping about a feud. her mother has lost a daughter, dont burden her with your issues. not trying to undermine what you have gone through, at ALL. you lost a friend, it is absolutely tragic. im just saying bringing up the drama between the two of you, even if to apologize, is not necessary and perhaps a little tactless. if someone does approach you and bring it up, utilize all the grace and confidence you can muster. she was your friend and you have every right to be there and mourn if you choose to do so.

[BROKENDOLL]

re loca: i completely agree with BD. at around that age all i wanted in the world was to get as far away from my family and boring life as possible. i feel that is very much a passing phase. i still want to travel and adventure and be free, but its not in such a needy and retarded way. spend all the time you have left with her cultivating your relationship. now is the time that you get to be friends, still always her mother at the core, but if she trusts you and respects your opinions and advice then you can feel assured she will always turn to you when she is in trouble. stress the i support you in whatever will make you happy as long as you are safe mantra. hang out, be honest with her, tell her your mistakes, especially the worst ones. then she wont feel so bad calling you for help when shes fucked up.

re BD: i think you should definitely go. you just have to realize that the family is dealing with a great loss, they probably wont be tripping about a feud. her mother has lost a daughter, dont burden her with your issues. not trying to undermine what you have gone through, at ALL. you lost a friend, it is absolutely tragic. im just saying bringing up the drama between the two of you, even if to apologize, is not necessary and perhaps a little tactless. if someone does approach you and bring it up, utilize all the grace and confidence you can muster. she was your friend and you have every right to be there and mourn if you choose to do so.

Thanks Astrid. That's exactly why I was questioning this whole thing. I myself would much prefer to forget the drama, and I'm hoping her family is too. I know that they're already bickering over her house and belongings, and have a tendency for liking drama, whereas I know they weren't always around during happier healthier times in Sheri's life.

And, Loca, like Astrid said, share this time with your daughter and let her know the mistakes you may have made. I know that had I felt more at ease going to my parents with a problem, I wouldn't have had 1/2 the problems I did.

[chiapet]

BD, I would not call her family (especially her mother). She has enough to deal with right now. Go to the memorial. Fight the urge to bring it up or respond if someone brings it up. If someone questions your presence, a vague response would be best, something along the lines of "We were once close friends, and I want to pay my respects." Let me repeat, it is best to not mention it at all.

If for whatever reason you decide you should not or do not want to go, a card would be order, don't consider addressing the past, just simple condolences.

[BROKENDOLL]

Thanks Heidi. I hope I haven't given the impression that I had intentions of clearing any air at her memorial. In fact, it may have very well been the reason I cleared it here on this message board. I happen to respect quite a few of you and your opinions, surprisingly more than people my own age.

I thought losing my own mother would have been the toughest thing to face in life, but I'm now realizing that a friend, especially one who you shared so much more with than even your mother, can be just as painful. What's really made me think is the fact that I always seemed to be such an advocate of Karma. And yet, no matter what was said or done to me by Sheri, or to Pete even, still doesn't justify what she went through.

How do you deal with being told you only have a month or so left without totally freaking out is beyond anything I could fathom myself doing. Hell, I'd waste the first 3 weeks flipping the fuck out. She never really let on how she felt...to me of course, nor to Pete or her daughter either. Maybe the pain was so great that she actually looked forward to the peace? In any case, bitch or not, she is the strongest, bravest friend I'd ever known...


dammit, and here come the tears again...:(

[locachica73]

BD, sorry for your loss. Losing someone you were once close to is just as hard, if not harder. You don't ever get that closure which sucks. Hopefully the family can be mature enough to let your presence there go without any drama. Good luck, I hope the memorial service gives you some closure.

[BROKENDOLL]

Thanks Audra. On another somewhat related note, Pete and Sheri's daughter Lindsay is in the Navy. She had married some guy who I thought was wonderful, and they had a baby. Within a year and right after he got out of the navy, he went back home to his family...for good...She's doing a fantastic job of being a single mother, but will be getting deployed within the next 3 months. When she was still married the subject had come up about the chances of both parents being deployed at the same time, and we were asked if we would be able to...........*ahem*......take over the parental responsibilities if need be. Sheri was first considered, but then at the time she had begun to succumb to the fight she was having.

Right now, trying to get Lindsay to focus on anything is understandably impossible, especially since she's handling the loss of her mom like I did mine...Just drink those sad thoughts away. I've let her know that we're here or even just myself for those moments she wants to talk, and last weekend when she came to visit, her and a friend went out to party while Pete and I babysat. I'm providing proof since up until now, I swore I would eat my young...
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/HOME%20SWEET%20HOME/FAMILY%20and%20FRIENDS/IMGP2907.jpg
Yes, those are rabbit ears on my head. And don't think I didn't use the flashing disco balls from Coachella to keep her entertained. She totally dug the shit out of those!

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/HOME%20SWEET%20HOME/FAMILY%20and%20FRIENDS/P7310021.jpg
Pete thinks it would be good for me. Like having a playmate. Plus it would provide a great explanation for all the toys I have around here. Yes, I have the Barbie Ferrari, but the dolls have no clothes... While it may appear to be a good idea, can you imagine the child in afew years after hangin' with me during the crucial growing time? Yikes!

[Courtney]

I am in the process of catching up with old reading today. Did anyone else see the interesting piece in the July/August issue of The Atlantic, titled "The End of Men (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/)"? It proposes the interesting idea that perhaps the modern, postindustrial economy is simply better suited for women than men. I buy it.

[chiapet]

Bev, I didn't mean to imply that you'd misuse the opportunity. I can just imagine how challenging it will be not to try to set the record straight if anyone gives you flak.

[miscorrections]

I am in the process of catching up with old reading today. Did anyone else see the interesting piece in the July/August issue of The Atlantic, titled "The End of Men (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/)"? It proposes the interesting idea that perhaps the modern, postindustrial economy is simply better suited for women than men. I buy it.

Courtney, I did read that and promptly decided whatever practicality dictates won't mean shit for at least another 10-20 years. Somewhere in that range.

[Pixiessp]

Bev, go to the memorial, pay your respects, forget about the past. It's done.
Remember the good things.

[chairmenmeow47]

CAM WHORE FASHION SHOW TIME!

so i haven't really done any shopping in awhile. i couldn't afford to do much this weekend either, but i went to ze ghetto mall & target to get a few new things:

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867309-2/fashion+show+1+-+august+2010.jpg

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867312-2/fashion+show+2+-+august+2010.jpg

high forehead shot

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867316-2/fashion+show+3+-+august+2010.jpg

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867318-1/fashion+show+4+-+august+2010.jpg

oh hey, new earrings!

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867322-2/fashion+show+5+-+august+2010.jpg

extreme close-up, WHOOOOA!
http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867326-2/fashion+show+6+-+august+2010.jpg

that is all, back to your regularly scheduled girl talk :)

[chiapet]

I really like the shirt in the middle. Not my style at all, but it looks cute on you.

[chairmenmeow47]

thanks! i'm sure i'll be able to wear it twice before all the jewels & shit fall off lol.

did you ever buy any of those jackets you posted? the brown one hasn't left my head since i saw it :x

[chiapet]

No, I didn't, it was like $800, and it's a UK company that only goes up to size UK 12 or 14 in those jackets (that's like a 8-10). Wouldn't fit me, THANK GOD.

[Trashcan_alligator]

I am in the process of catching up with old reading today. Did anyone else see the interesting piece in the July/August issue of The Atlantic, titled "The End of Men (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/)"? It proposes the interesting idea that perhaps the modern, postindustrial economy is simply better suited for women than men. I buy it.

so the postindustrial economy has given less intelligent employees an edge?

[hawkingvsreeve]

All of that stuff looks great. I too, like the one in the middle.

[algunz]

No, just the well-breasted and long legged ones.

[weeklymix]

So this is where the girls post their secret pictures.

[fikus222]

Fun fact...my wife Erika, whose early college education included medieval studies, has informed me that the origins of the custom of males opening doors for females derives from a period of time in which doors were so heavily fortified that they were way too heavy for women to open.

[Ergofeev:v.X]

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/867318-1/fashion+show+4+-+august+2010.jpg


Fun fact...my wife Erika, whose early college education included medieval studies, has informed me that the origins of the custom of males opening doors for females derives from a period of time in which doors were so heavily fortified that they were way too heavy for women to open.

The Good Shit.

[locachica73]

So Nick has been at my house every day/night for almost 2 weeks... I don't think I am ready to live with anyone. I like having my 1-2 nights off to veg in front of the tv watching my girly shows and being completely relaxed. When I dropped him off this morning I kind of let him know that I was looking forward to spending the night alone, which was my round about way of saying he wasn't invited over. I feel kind of bad about that.

[miscorrections]

Why do you feel bad? It's incredibly important to be clear about your boundaries.

[locachica73]

I guess because up until recently I was really excited about the prospect of living together. But after only 2 weeks of spending everyday together I got a little tired of having him around. Now I suppose if we lived together we wouldn't really spend as much time together as we do when he is just visiting. I do feel the urge to keep him entertained while he visits. And since I have no furniture in my living room it also means we just hang out in my room the entire time, which of course means he gets to watch his shows because I feel badly about making him watch my girly shows. That would be different if we lived together as well. I just don't know how much fucking sports center I can deal with without losing my fucking mind. I mean, really, there has to be a limit right?

p.s. I need a football for dummies course. I watched all last year and still have no interest in the game. Maybe if I actually understood what was happening I would be as excited about this stupid sport as he is.

[miscorrections]

It's your place, you should be able to do what you want in it without feeling bad. If he needs to watch his shows THAT BADLY he can watch them at his place.

[locachica73]

It has never bothered me up until now though, probably because I always had my Mondays and Wednesdays to lay there watching all my girly shit while eating peanuts in bed and burping or farting to my hearts content. 2 weeks is a long time to pretend you don't fart or shit.

He does tell me I can watch my shows, I just don't usually make him do it because for one, if I were a dude I wouldn't want to be watching The Bachelor Pad or So You Think You Can Dance... also, he is always all.... it's cool baby, watch your shows, I am ok with that, but then talks shit the entire time about how stupid it is. I jokingly ask him to stop but of course he doesn't really know how much it annoys me...

I really need to find my angry voice.

[rskapcat]

I don't believe that couples have to share ALL the same interests. When Andy watches football or plays video games, I either read or get on the computer. When I watch my crappy teen drama shows (Degrassi and Make It or Break It, currently), he either plays games on his PSP or gets on the computer. Audra, you shouldn't feel obligated to entertain Nick when he's over or feel like you have to only do the things he wants. If you are considering moving in together, you need to get out of that mindset, and quickly.

[locachica73]

Yeah, I know, I am just so... what's the term... Passive Aggressive? I just would rather give in to what he wants to do than fight about what I want to do. And it isn't even that we would fight about it because that is not Nick at all. I just feel like I need to always please him. Which is totally stupid. But I find myself changing my plans if he suddenly decides that he wants to hang out. Which is one thing about women that pisses me off, suddenly I am turning into that girl. My excuse is... well I can go hang out with Nick and have sex or I can hang out with my girls and not... Sex always seems to win. But now I am starting to get mad at myself for my own behaviors.

We do like almost all the same things, which is what I love about our relationship. I just can't get into this football thing, but it is his absolute favorite. I don't mind when we are sitting at the bar because I can entertain myself other ways, but when we are laying in my bed I get extremely tired of the football highlights... over and over and over. lol

[chairmenmeow47]

thanks brandon & ergo!

audra, it would definitely be different when he's not visiting. as long as you both have your own interests, you can live together and not feel too smothered. i felt weird when i was just visiting the guy i lived with, but once we lived together, he could play his games & i could go read or watch TV and it was all good. i'm sure he'll appreciate some time to himself, even if he doesn't say it.

also, football is just a group of guys running towards each other for ten seconds and then talking about it for five minutes. there's not much to know :p i really hate football, though i did enjoy watching the super bowl with someone who explained the strategy as the game went along. there's just too many people doing shit at once to really catch everything that happens IMO.

[locachica73]

Yeah, I am getting the basic understanding of the game, but now he wants me to know who on the team is defense and who is offense... WTF? They all look the same, how the fuck can you tell them apart. And who is in which league? I smoke pot, my memory sucks balls, I am old, these are all my excuses as to why I can't grasp this game. But mostly it is because I really just don't give a shit.

[chiapet]

Audra, you're absolutely within your right to ask for a day/night or two of alone time. You need time to relax. You need time to get your own shit done. You also need to make time for your friends, you hate when your friends blow off time with girls any time they have a boyfriend. Don't turn into that girl. :)

Any reasonable guy should understand this... after all, it's also a night when HE can stay home and watch football and do his laundry. Or go out with his friends.

[BROKENDOLL]

It has never bothered me up until now though, probably because I always had my Mondays and Wednesdays to lay there watching all my girly shit while eating peanuts in bed and burping or farting to my hearts content. 2 weeks is a long time to pretend you don't fart or shit.

He does tell me I can watch my shows, I just don't usually make him do it because for one, if I were a dude I wouldn't want to be watching The Bachelor Pad or So You Think You Can Dance... also, he is always all.... it's cool baby, watch your shows, I am ok with that, but then talks shit the entire time about how stupid it is. I jokingly ask him to stop but of course he doesn't really know how much it annoys me...

I really need to find my angry voice.

Who knew that burps and farts= healthy hearts? LOL

[chiapet]

Yeah, I am getting the basic understanding of the game, but now he wants me to know who on the team is defense and who is offense...

Come on, girl, they wear different uniforms and the one that has the ball is on offense. :P

The basics of football are exceptionally easy to grasp. You should be able to follow the game, know what some of the players positions are, know everything but the most obscure rules, and in general pick up the lingo. He is not expecting you to understand strategy. But you should be able to follow along. I agree you'd probably enjoy it more if you knew what was happening... and if you end up not enjoying it, then don't watch. :P

Start here:
http://www.nfl.com/rulebook/beginnersguidetofootball

This might help too:
http://www.coachlarson.com/Football/footballmain.html

[locachica73]

Audra, you're absolutely within your right to ask for a day/night or two of alone time. You need time to relax. You need time to get your own shit done. You also need to make time for your friends, you hate when your friends blow off time with girls any time they have a boyfriend. Don't turn into that girl. :)

Any reasonable guy should understand this... after all, it's also a night when HE can stay home and watch football and do his laundry. Or go out with his friends.

I know, I really need to just stop being so accommodating. I have always been like this in a relationship. I just have always been a pleaser... I blame the fact that I am a Pisces and a middle child. We are the doormats of society.

He is totally reasonable, it is just me that always bends to his will. He doesn't expect me to, in fact, I bet he would even be impressed if I didn't. He gets mad that I don't stand up for myself. It is just not my way.... It was, once upon a time. But life kind of turned me into this wimpy chick who I hate at times.

[chiapet]

he is always all.... it's cool baby, watch your shows, I am ok with that, but then talks shit the entire time about how stupid it is. I jokingly ask him to stop but of course he doesn't really know how much it annoys me...

You need to speak up for yourself. If you agreed to watch football but then gabbed through the whole thing and talked about how boring it is and how stupid it is to spend the whole day watching sports, he would get pissed at you within a few minutes, wouldn't he? (And maybe you do that but) I suspect you put up with it and watch it quietly and let him enjoy it.

It sounds like he has two choices, he can watch with you and enjoy your company even if he does not enjoy the show (which means letting you enjoy it without hearing from the peanut gallery) or he can let you watch it and go do his own thing.

If he cannot find anything else to do when you are watching TV... the guy needs to get some hobbies, or just leave and get our of your hair for a few hours.

[locachica73]

Come on, girl, they wear different uniforms and the one that has the ball is on offense. :P

The basics of football are exceptionally easy to grasp. You should be able to follow the game, know what some of the players positions are, know everything but the most obscure rules, and in general pick up the lingo. He is not expecting you to understand strategy. But you should be able to follow along. I agree you'd probably enjoy it more if you knew what was happening... and if you end up not enjoying it, then don't watch. :P

Start here:
http://www.nfl.com/rulebook/beginnersguidetofootball

This might help too:
http://www.coachlarson.com/Football/footballmain.html

LOL that is awesome, thank you. I just printed this out so I can study. I agree, if I could work up some excitement for the game it would be a lot more interesting to me. I am thinking I want to try to take him to a game this year too because then I might be a little more into it. It worked for basketball. I have never seen a live game, I was too busy getting drunk and smoking dope under the bleachers to actually watch the games in high school.

[chiapet]

I totally feel you there because it's tough for me to stay interested in sports on TV if I can't follow what's going on. I love football, but that's because I grew up with it. If you feel like you're starting to get into it at all, going to a game is a great idea. It's way more exciting than watching on TV.

...the downside is that you cannot always actually see what's going on depending on where your seats are / how far back you are.

...the upside is that it's socially acceptable to be drunk as a skunk by 1PM, so if you're not feeling it, drink more.

[locachica73]

Well I was going to ask if you thought a college game would be better for me to watch or an NFL game but I think Nick told me the college games are dry so I would have to smuggle liquor in (which I am pretty good at) or spend the extra money on the Cardinals tickets. It would be cool to see the new stadium I guess but I am sure the tickets are quite a bit more.

OK boys who read this thread... Would you rather have your girl buy you tickets to a college game or an NFL game????

[locachica73]

If you agreed to watch football but then gabbed through the whole thing and talked about how boring it is and how stupid it is to spend the whole day watching sports, he would get pissed at you within a few minutes, wouldn't he? (And maybe you do that but) I suspect you put up with it and watch it quietly and let him enjoy it.

Nope, I sit quietly and let him enjoy his shows and/or games... I even fake enthusiasm over it. When I start to get too bored I find a way to ummm occupy myself lol. Which is one of the many reasons he really loves watching tv with me.

[JustSteve]

p.s. I need a football for dummies course. I watched all last year and still have no interest in the game. Maybe if I actually understood what was happening I would be as excited about this stupid sport as he is.

beer makes football much more interesting, shouldn't need much more than that.

[JustSteve]

You need time to get your own shit done.

literally, from the sound of it.

[locachica73]

beer makes football much more interesting, shouldn't need much more than that.

Sunday tends to be my chill out at home without any booze day. So we implemented a no pants rule which makes watching football a little easier. I just need to get more interested in the game. I love watching basketball but I know all the rules there so it makes it easier. I am planning on learning more this season though, I have some cheat sheets. :)

[JustSteve]

OK boys who read this thread... Would you rather have your girl buy you tickets to a college game or an NFL game????

hmm, i enjoy watching college football on tv, but think i would prefer some nfl action if i was in the stadium...a lot more speed and harder hitting most of the time. hopefully more of an even matchup, too. that's one thing i hated about going to usc games over the last several years. the game would pretty much be over before halftime.

[locachica73]

Thanks Steve, with that advice and the fact that ASU games don't serve alcohol I will look into Cardinals tickets. :)

[hawkingvsreeve]

Take him to a Cardinals game. Not only is that stadium really nice, but the Cardinals are a fun team to watch right now and have been for a couple seasons. I think you would enjoy the sport much more at the game itself, especially with the excited crowd factor. It's not the same hearing 50k people cheer through your TV as it is when you are actually there. I am the same way with baseball. I cant watch it on TV but enjoy the games at the stadium because of the atmosphere. Whatever one you decide to go to, he'd owe you big time.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I hate baseball in general, but even i have fun seeing it live.

[chairmenmeow47]

and when you watch baseball, do you ever notice it's not a football?

[locachica73]

Yeah, I am the same way, I have gone to baseball games and had a great time. But watching it on tv is a complete snooze fest.

Cardinals it is...He won't owe me though, I still owe him plenty, he had to take care of my handicapped ass for 2+ months. But after taking him to a game and to CA in a couple months my debt is paid. :)

[hawkingvsreeve]

If you are able to get tickets, the Cardinals play the Saints on Oct. 10. That would be a fun game to go to.

[locachica73]

He is a big Giants fan, so I need to check the schedule and see when they are playing, but I don't remember who is in which league so I don't even know if that will happen. I am hoping to buy some tickets in the next couple of weeks. I just hope they aren't all sold out. If they are I may have to consult a scalper. UGH

[Courtney]

Ladies, I have found a new must-have purchase: the tampon cozy (http://www.etsy.com/listing/46633437/knitted-tampon-cozy). You can even put it next to your dildo cozy on your nightstand.

[hawkingvsreeve]

Ouch. Two tickets to that game in the upper deck of seats comes to 182. Ticketmaster blows.

[locachica73]

Ladies, I have found a new must-have purchase: the tampon cozy (http://www.etsy.com/listing/46633437/knitted-tampon-cozy). You can even put it next to your dildo cozy on your nightstand.

I live in the desert, my tampons/dildos never get cold... ;)

[hawkingvsreeve]

You guys dont play the Giants this season.

Your home games are

Cowboys
Raiders
Saints
Buccaneers
Broncos
49ers
Seahawks
Rams

[minogueCOMMAk]

What kind of rabid, wild animal are you storing in your purse that leave rips and tears in the packaging of the tampons woman that invented this?

[locachica73]

You guys dont play the Giants this season.

Your home games are

Cowboys
Raiders
Saints
Buccaneers
Broncos
49ers
Seahawks
Rams

Well, I know we hate the cowboys... Saints seem like the team he would most like to see out of that selection. Thank you for your help. :)

[hawkingvsreeve]

But of course.

[BROKENDOLL]

Ladies, I have found a new must-have purchase: the tampon cozy (http://www.etsy.com/listing/46633437/knitted-tampon-cozy). You can even put it next to your dildo cozy on your nightstand.
There's just no way I'm putting one of those where my dildo thinks it's cozy!!!

[chairmenmeow47]

i actually do keep my tampons in a case so the packaging doesn't get fucked.

[BROKENDOLL]

i actually do keep my tampons in a case so the packaging doesn't get fucked.
Are you talking about the baby blue cases that hold maybe 3-4? If so, where did you find it? The last one I had made a great party essential holder until I lost it somewhere...essentials and all, dammit!

[miscorrections]

I use a glasses case for my purse tampons.

[chairmenmeow47]

i got my case from a tampon box years ago. it has the little "flower" logo on it too, lulz.

[obzen]

I would've never figured something as practical as a tampon cozy was significant enough to 'cheer you up'.

[BROKENDOLL]

i got my case from a tampon box years ago. it has the little "flower" logo on it too, lulz.
Yep, that's the one! I used to think it lowered my chances of anyone finding my party wares by at least 50%, because guys were too afraid to open them to see what was inside if I got searched before shows.

[chiapet]

The packaging on my tampons never gets fucked up? I use OB though. (No applicator, no waste!). And I'm not sure I carry enough at once to justify a 'case' or 'cover' for them.

[minogueCOMMAk]

Mine never gets ripped either, I felt like I was some kind of rip free freak. Mine rarely stay in there long enough to get ripped, though.

[chiapet]

I don't carry that much in my bag either, so maybe that helps. I could see how they could get a little mangled if you carry them about in jeans pockets or something.

My friends used to use tampon cases in high school because they were exceptionally worried about anyone seeing that they had tampons in their purse. I never got it. Boys know you have periods. Girls know you have periods. Who cares?

[Cdubby]

Thanks Steve, with that advice and the fact that ASU games don't serve alcohol I will look into Cardinals tickets. :)


Before purchasing tickets off ticketmaster or stubhub definitely go check out the Cardinal's message board and ask/check if any season ticket holders are selling their seats. You can probably get a pair at face value without paying any fees, the seats will probably be a little better as well.

Or...

Use stubhub and wait until the very last minute (3-4 days before to allow for mail delivery) to purchase seats, you will see a ton drop their prices. Scalpers are actually not a bad choice either at the venue...

Dont buy off ticketmaster or stubhub right away unless you are desperate for a certain seat/section or don't care about paying extra.

Link to the Cardinal's message board-

http://forums.azcardinals.com/

EDIT- hah, well shit. So I went over and perused the Cardinals board and they banned all conversation of selling or buying tickets- the Niners board doesn't have this issue. Sorry.

[locachica73]

Thanks for the advice Cdub. I was thinking I might check craigslist as well. I have seen people selling tickets on there. :)

[chairmenmeow47]

i jump around a lot and also keep a lot of things in my bag. all of which leads to wayward tampons.

i'm discovering as i get older my mom is kind of evil lol. she told me it would be good to get a friend a job at my company so that she would be "in my pocket" as it were. and that it was good for me to see multiple guys right now.

[locachica73]

I agree with your mom. :)

[chairmenmeow47]

i guess that doesn't sound as evil as it did in the context of our conversation last night.

[locachica73]

LOL well maybe the "in your pocket" part was a little evil. I just agree with the dating multiple guys. I try not to work with people I know that well. It can sometimes fuck up the friendship.

[miscorrections]

I don't think either of those are evil, I think they're shrewd moves. Although the friend thing is really only applicable if you're into power plays and having a bitch.

[locachica73]

someday I hope to have my own bitch...

[chairmenmeow47]

yeah, i'm not really into having someone be my bitch. i'm more into independent people. now a droid... that's something i could get down with.

i also agree with dating multiple guys, she just doesn't ever seem to want me to settle down. it's strange.

[BROKENDOLL]

Well, I know we hate the cowboys... Saints seem like the team he would most like to see out of that selection. Thank you for your help. :)
Now that Audra has shared her football watching habits when she's with Nick, I'm concerned about her going into a stadium full of people to watch a football game...

[locachica73]

Now that Audra has shared her football watching habits when she's with Nick, I'm concerned about her going into a stadium full of people to watch a football game...

lol, i know how to behave in public... mostly.

Although that might be why when I mentioned to Nick going to a live game he wasn't all that interested.

[rskapcat]

Audra, I'm continuing the Nick conversation here (so Tom doesn't yell at us for girling up the bad mood thread). What concerns me is that you guys have discussed moving in. I would hate for you to establish that constantly catering to Nick's needs to the detriment of your own is the norm. It can't be the norm if you want to stay sane (obviously), but it's also setting up false expectations for Nick. If you intend to cohabitate at some point, it would probably be a good idea to redefine the norm.

[chairmenmeow47]

audra, definitely stick up for yourself! if he can't handle one night without you, there are bigger problems. i know that's easier said than done. but you've pavlovianly (not a word, don't care) trained him not to expect hand jobs during football. not that there's anything wrong with that. that would certainly make football a whole lot more entertaining IMO :p

[locachica73]

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I love having him around, I just was looking forward to a day of me time. I know that should be a simple enough thing to all of you, you are all very strong willed women. I lost that somewhere along the way. I use to be very clear about what I wanted and didn't want and was able to voice that easily enough. But I lost that part of me somewhere along the way with some bad circumstances. Somewhere in my 20's I turned into this "don't rock the boat" type girl. I have the hardest time telling anyone no. It sucks. I know it does, and I am trying to change that about myself. I am taking little steps here and there to letting my voice be heard. But this has been my personality for 17+ years now and it just takes some time to make those changes.

The moving in thing worries me as well. I thought I was ready. But if after 2 weeks of hanging out everyday is bothering me then how am I going to handle living together. Luckily that won't be happening for another year and I hope in that time I will gain the confidence in myself and my relationship to not worry about rocking the boat.

I just know how bad I have felt in the past when Nick had something he needed/wanted to do and didn't want to hang out with me when I wanted him there. I know how hard I took it. Now I am willing to bet Nick wouldn't take it as hard as I did but he would still wonder why I suddenly wanted a day off considering I was the one pushing for more time not to long ago. And I don't want him to ever have a lack of faith in our relationship. I also worry that if I tell him I need that space he will give me more space than I want. This has nothing to do with him at all, he is an awesome guy who has been there for me when no one else has, this has to do with me and my insecurities and need to please everyone.

With all that being said, last night a friend called me up because she wanted to get high. I had weed but just didn't want anymore company so I told her no. This is a huge thing for me, I normally would have just sucked it up if a friend called and needed me (or my weed) and said come on over. I hung up and felt horribly. But I stuck to my guns and felt really good about it. Like I said before... Baby steps.

[chairmenmeow47]

well, if you can't hang out when he asks, plan for another day. say "well, i have some things around the house i need to do tonight, but how about you come over tomorrow?" then you're not completely rejecting him.

[guedita]

One thing about moving in, too, is that it will be different than spending 2 weeks together while you aren't living together. And, when you live together, as a way to establish 'together/apart' time, you should establish nights or something. Like, if he's really into football, then Monday nights he should go out with some buddies and watch the game somewhere. And that can be your catch up on girly shows night.

[locachica73]

I think that is the problem though, we had always taken Mondays and Wednesdays as our me times. We had even had the conversation about how we actually really like those days to do our own thing. But he has been feeling pretty insecure lately with having gotten laid off. I also know how it feels to be stuck at home all day with nothing to do and no one to really talk to because everyone is at work. I was just in that boat not that long ago. I at least had a car so I could get up and go if I wanted to. He is pretty much stuck with no transportation. I can't even imagine. So I guess I am saying that I love him enough to give up the me time if I need to but it still will bother me quite a bit. I just need to get to the point of being able to tell him when shit bothers me. I think I will give that a try tonight and just tell him that tomorrow I want to be on my own for the night. I will be very clear about that instead of the little hints I use usually. :)

I love that you girls are so strong willed, my daughter is like that too. I need you all to rub off on me a little bit. :)

Also, I am going to have some me time with my Coachella friends this weekend and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to that. :)

[guedita]

Yeah, guys are notoriously shitty at noticing our little hints.

[locachica73]

I finally taught nick the one about if he asks me how I am doing, if I say "I am fine" and my voice is slightly higher than normal then I really am not fine and am actually pissed off about something. We do need to come with a handbook.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

What guys need to realize is that girls are never fine. Something is always wrong.

[locachica73]

What guys need to realize is that girls are never fine. Something is always wrong.

well if you dig deep enough then sure... or being constantly asked whats wrong can sometimes create a wrong.

[chairmenmeow47]

what guys also needs to realize is that you shouldn't ask if we're fine when we're clearly not if you don't want to have an argument. sometimes it's better to just let the moment pass until we're in a better mood lol. if it was really serious, we'd probably talk about it.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

well if you dig deep enough then sure... or being constantly asked whats wrong can sometimes create a wrong.

Yes, that's why I just pretend like I don't notice when obviously the entire world is falling apart.

[locachica73]

I usually prefer to just work it out in my head because I know I am just being a silly girl and if I vocalize what is bothering me then everyone will know I am just a silly girl, which pisses me off even more. So I usually like to just sit on it for a day or two and then after the initial crisis is over I am a little better about vocalizing without the silly tears running down my face. My biggest pet peeve is when I am angry about something, if I try to discuss it, I end up crying. So I choose to not talk about it.

[guedita]

In the long run it's better to go through that bout of seemingly illogical crying and explain why you aren't really fine, though. Because vocalizing your concerns in a relationship is worth it if you ever want things to change or improve.

[rskapcat]

...or if you want the guy to truly get to know you. I think a lot of women make the mistake of being the shiny happy versions of themselves 100% of the time when dating someone. You do yourself, the person you're dating, and the long-term relationship a disservice if you consciously change who you are around that person. The real you will come out eventually...probably at an inopportune time.

[chairmenmeow47]

but sometimes you're just in a pissy mood and would rather let the moment pass. vocalizing is great, but pick your battles.

[locachica73]

but sometimes you're just in a pissy mood and would rather let the moment pass. vocalizing is great, but pick your battles.

exactly, sometimes it is just a bad day. Nick has seen the crying me on several occasions, you all have to remember how shitty my year has been. If I broke down and had to talk every time something went awry in my life I would never have dry eyes.

I really do try to find the silver lining in most cases. Sometimes it just takes me awhile. Like last night, I was really pissed off because I had to run to the store for something and all I wanted to do was relax. But while driving back to the house I was coming up over the hill and saw this really cool lightning strike. Had I stayed in the house I would not have seen that. So it kind of wiped the bad mood away. After I was a little less irritated I did let Nick know I was pissed and why but I just prefer to discuss it when I am more calm so I don't end up spewing out a bunch of emotional vomit.

[rskapcat]

Yeah, that makes sense. Putting off the conversation until you can have it without getting irrationally upset is good. I always worry when girls seem like they bottle stuff up. :)

[chiapet]

I'd missed the info that he'd gotten laid off. I'm assuming he's not working right now, then? It's probably not so much that his needs or desires to spend time with you but that he is rolling in excess free time. Adding to that as you mentioned, having no car to go out and about to do things... of course he is hanging out with you constantly. I don't mean to imply you're not one of his top priorities... he just probably has nothing else he wants to do by the time you're home.

The most miserable time I ever had with my ex was in the couple of months after he finished grad school and was looking for work. When I got home from work each day, I just wanted to relax for a few minutes. Instead he would be in my face with the "who'd you see? what'd you do? where'd you go?" And then just kind of follow me around as I tried to get stuff done. He did not live with me then but he was always there. He'd like, show up and wait for me to get home. Or want to stay there while I was gone. It was like having a little puppy constantly at your heels when you are trying to get stuff done.

[locachica73]

I juts re-read the last few pages and let me just say... man I am a whiny bitch. I mean really, if the only thing wrong in my life is that my boyfriend wants to spend too much time with me and I am complaining... someone please just slap me. This is a big change from life the last 2 years when everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I am in a good place now with the kids and have a great relationship so I just need to sit back and stop trying to find things to bother me.

Last night I went and met my girlfriend Lisa who I haven't seen in awhile, we had a blast, we laughed like we always had and there was no weirdness. It was awesome. Then I went out with my girl Celest for her birthday and was around way too many women, ladies night with 25 cent drinks makes for a long line to the bathroom. From now on I am sticking to the hole in the wall dive bars, that shit was ridiculous.

After being away from Nick for a couple hours I really missed him. I missed the way he is always checking on me when we are out to make sure I am ok. I missed catching him watching me from across the room. He had decided to hang out at my place while I went out so I rushed home by 930 at which point we had a great night together. It is great how he somehow always seems to know what I need.

I am no longer scared about eventually living together, because last night I had the best of both worlds, girl time and time with my man. :)

[BROKENDOLL]

I finally taught nick the one about if he asks me how I am doing, if I say "I am fine" and my voice is slightly higher than normal then I really am not fine and am actually pissed off about something. We do need to come with a handbook.
But, that will only work if he reads it. Have you ever actually witnessed a man reading the instructions to anything? LOL

[BROKENDOLL]

I finally taught nick the one about if he asks me how I am doing, if I say "I am fine" and my voice is slightly higher than normal then I really am not fine and am actually pissed off about something. We do need to come with a handbook.
I got to thinking more about this handbook idea, and you do realize that if we came with handbooks, then the boys would expect to see a guarantee and warranty at the end, right?

Anyway, I remembered a book I picked up that I highly recommend for both sexes..."Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Need More Shoes." It's written by Barbara and Allan Pease, and honestly, it's pretty much on the mark, but in a comical way. There's a specific chapter that explains a woman's secret ways with words, as well as how the men interpret them. I'll give a few brief examples...

Fine. When a woman says fine at the end of an argument, it means she stills thinks she's right, but she's done arguing and wants you to shut up. And, if a woman asks how she looks, men should never say, "fine," or they're looking for another argument.
Five Minutes.This equals about a 1/2 an hour. It's pretty much equivalent to the 5 minutes during a football game that a man says he'll take out the trash.
Nothing.One of my personal favorites. This actually means, "something." And usually describes the feeling a woman has when she wants to choke a man. Nothing also signifies the start of another argument that will last 5 minutes and end with the word, "Fine."
Go Ahead.(With raised eyebrows)This is more like a dare that will result in the woman getting upset over nothing and will end with the word, fine.
A Loud Sigh. This means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she's wasting her time standing here arguing over nothing.
Go Ahead.(With normal eyebrows) This means, "I give up." Or, "Do what you want, I don't care." You'll usually recieve the Go aheadwith raised eybrows within a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine and then she will talk to you in 5 minutes when she cools down.

Stay tuned for the chapter on a Woman's Point System for the boys, and What Made Roger Rabbit's Eyes Pop Out for the girls. You'd be surprised.



What guys need to realize is that girls are never fine. Something is always wrong.
And just to be fair, guys need to realize that they can be replaced with 2 "C" batteries...

[chairmenmeow47]

ugh, i feel awkward. this guy i've been fairly good friends with for years just emailed me asking to go out on a date. i understand when he says he'll regret it if he doesn't; however he's asked me out before, when i left the guy i lived with for three years and i turned him down then, so i don't get why he would ask again now. i don't even see him as much as i used to. his life is a mess. he has a bunch of baby mama's & kids. he's always in & out of jail for child support nonsense. i've remained his friend, but at the same time i stopped giving him rides all the time & picking him up from jail and shit within the past couple of years. we also used to be smoke buddies, and i'm not really doing that anymore, so i don't see him much for that reason either. so why now? i don't get it.

i have no idea what words to use when i respond. one the one hand, i want to put it in a way so he knows not ask me this again, but on the other hand i don't want him to feel awkward around one of the few long-term friends he has left. i think i'm going to just say i've been seeing someone for the past few weeks that i like (which is true) and maybe use that as an excuse.

i've dealt with this before and i know i'll find the words, it just kinda comes as a shock. and we were supposed to hang out soon too. damnit.

[Mr. Dylanja]

He wanted the endzone, got the friend zone.

[chairmenmeow47]

mc DYLAN DYLAN DYLAN at it again :)

also, this is my third request for a date this week. i feel a bit like this :):

gbzeGW5r9uU

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

this girl I just started seeing just had this problem with a friend. They've been platonic friends for years apparently, and then out of the blue he wrote her a message that basically said, "I'm in love with you, and if we can't be together I can't see you anymore." Yeesh, drama queen.

Luckily I'm so handsome and charming I don't have to resort to such tactics.

Jokes aside, i can only imagine how fucking frustrating something like that can be.

[chairmenmeow47]

seriously. thankfully he was cool with it and even in his email he still said he wanted to hang out as friends. it's just awkward to be asked more than once. i do also understand that sometimes you really do love someone and that it may be detrimental to you to stay friends because you're in love. that's not this guy though lol. he's just a player.

[Mr. Dylanja]

Isn't it weird hanging out with him knowing he's going to hell for what his dirty mind is thinking?

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Isn't it weird hanging out with him knowing he's going to hell for what his dirty mind is thinking?

hahahahaha

[chairmenmeow47]

nice ;) yeah, but i know he'll move onto someone else within days.

[locachica73]

If you don't want to hurt his feelings with the whole "dating would ruin our friendship" conversation, because apparently the friend zone is a bad place to be, then you could always use the "I know you way to well player" conversation. I have used it before. It strokes their ego while giving you a way out.

[chairmenmeow47]

...

i totally should have done that.

[miscorrections]

Or y'all can just turn someone down and not worry about turning it into tricks and games and vague "ways out".

[locachica73]

I just don't see anything wrong with not wanting to hurt someones feelings. If I can reword something to the point of not making someone feel like shit I will. Yeah it sometimes ends up with me doing something I don't want to do but at least I don't feel like I made someone cry.

[chairmenmeow47]

you can also turn someone down without being a massive cunt. one person's trash is another person's treasure.

for the record i was neither vague nor "playing games". i told him i liked him as a friend, but didn't think of him that way. also that i've been going out with someone else a lot and my thoughts were with him right now. and i said i still want to hang out as friends. he replied thanking me for being "painless" and we're going to hang out again soon and pretend like nothing happened.

[miscorrections]

I don't think saying a straight "no" is acting like a massive cunt. I was more talking about Audra's "player" suggestion. From a guy's standpoint that one leaves the door open for future pestering.

[miscorrections]

Also: emailed the bridal party about the bachelorette party, the non-bridal party attendants of the bachelorette party, booked the suite, and have MOST of it in place. In like, one day. I am stressed to the max about this shit.

[chiapet]

i think i'm going to just say i've been seeing someone for the past few weeks that i like (which is true) and maybe use that as an excuse.

I don't think that's a good approach. That leaves the door open to ask again as soon as he hears you're single again. You need to be clear that you're only interested in being his friend.

Edited: I guess I should have read the last page before posting. :)

[chiapet]

Isn't it weird hanging out with him knowing he's going to hell for what his dirty mind is thinking?

Isn't this basically what all guys are always thinking though?

[Mr. Dylanja]

I pretty much blew my cover with that one, didn't I?


*quietly backs out of girls only thread*

[algunz]

Getting past the . . . "Shit! my guy friend is interested in more than just friendship" scenario always sucks. There's never an easy way. It is possible to get past it though, and sometimes that friendship can even be stronger as a result.

[chairmenmeow47]

yeah, i didn't meant that no is cunty, just that it's hard to find a way to be nice about this stuff, but still get your point across. and chia, i realized that too :)

i can imagine planning a bridal party would be extremely stressful. especially if you're not good friends with the girls, are you friends with the girls?

[miscorrections]

Hahaha, no. I've never met any of them except for my fellow bridesmaids and of course the bride. It's kind of making me crazy so if I bitch out a bit now and then please excuse me.

[SFChrissy]

Why is my bitch as neighbor complaining about a couple pairs of flip flops and surf booties at my door. I can't believe today, I actually got a letter from my landlord saying that it's a fire hazard. Wouldn't the benches and tables at everyone else's doorway be a firehazard as well? Should I pull the EPA card or Spiritual card about shoe removal and them beingl left outside to minimize dirt and toxins entering the home???

[chiapet]

Sure, you could do that, but your neighbor would still probably complain. Could you get a little box or basket to put them in? Out of sight, out of neighbor's mind.

[amyzzz]

Hi Chrissy!

[SFChrissy]

Sure, you could do that, but your neighbor would still probably complain. Could you get a little box or basket to put them in? Out of sight, out of neighbor's mind.
I've been thinking of that as a solution but it would become messy with wet/muddy beach shoes and there is the possibility of it occupying more shared space than if the flip flops are up against my own personal door. I feel so asian with this issue!!! Apparently the EPA suggests leaving your shoes outside to prevent dirt, lead, pesticides, poisons and other toxins from entering your home and keeping your children safe.

Hi Chrissy!Hayyy girl!!!

[Pixiessp]

She's probably just jealous that your flip flops put hers to shame.

It's a flip flop war.

[HowToDisappear]

I think my hairdresser deserves an award. About a month ago, she repaired the $10 day-before-Coachella barber shop cut (which basically destroyed the beautiful choppy cut she'd done a month and a half earlier, and yes, I was contrite). She did such a great job, and it's grown out so nicely, I get compliments on it all the time.

The other day at work, a man approached me and gave me the most bizarre, weirdly wonderful one of all: he said I reminded him of the line from Werewolves of London, "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, his hair was perfect", while emphatically insisting it was, of course, only the perfect hair part, not the werewolf nor the male part. He then went on to say I look just like Anouk Aimée in 8 1/2 (I was wearing my reading glasses), and that she was the prettiest woman of her time, and "you look just like her... perfect... just perfect!"

I guess I can't complain about being told I look perfect, even if werewolves were brought into the equation earlier.

[chairmenmeow47]

that is nice :) unique compliments are always a plus.

[amyzzz]

HtD, weirdest compliment ever.

[Mr. Dylanja]

I actually get, "haven't heard that one before," fairly often. However, half the time I think they're unsure whether it was meant as a compliment or not.


Hate the game.

[rskapcat]

I'm attempting to grow out my hair, but going and getting something androgynous done sounds mighty appealing.

[Pixiessp]

I have a months worth of growth and my hair is still pretty short.
When I first got it cut no one at work liked it. I, on the other hand,felt super sassy. Meow!!

[chiapet]

I actually get, "haven't heard that one before," fairly often. However, half the time I think they're unsure whether it was meant as a compliment or not.

Either your compliments are weird (and you need to work on your game) or you're flattering girls who don't expect to get compliments.

[HowToDisappear]

Either your compliments are weird (and you need to work on your game) or you're flattering girls who don't expect to get compliments.

Truth.

[Courtney]

The other day at work, a man approached me and gave me the most bizarre, weirdly wonderful one of all: he said I reminded him of the line from Werewolves of London, "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, his hair was perfect", while emphatically insisting it was, of course, only the perfect hair part, not the werewolf nor the male part. He then went on to say I look just like Anouk Aimée in 8 1/2 (I was wearing my reading glasses), and that she was the prettiest woman of her time, and "you look just like her... perfect... just perfect!"

Anyone who makes reference to cheezy 70s rock and then classic Fellini, and then proceeds to tell the recipient that she looks perfect is quite possibly the best complimenter ever. I hope you got his number for me.

[Pixiessp]

I am going to see someone I haven't seen in 11 years. Someone I dated briefly and was very fond of. I'm so nervous.

[HowToDisappear]

Anyone who makes reference to cheezy 70s rock and then classic Fellini, and then proceeds to tell the recipient that she looks perfect is quite possibly the best complimenter ever. I hope you got his number for me.

His name is Mike. He has a son the same age as my girls, and is quite smart and funny, which is why he knew I'd get all the references - which I did - and be flattered - which I was. He's a sweet guy. If you don't mind older men, I'll steer him your way. :D

[TomAz]

Anyone who makes reference to cheezy 70s rock

Warren Zevon is not cheezy.

[HowToDisappear]

I am going to see someone I haven't seen in 11 years. Someone I dated briefly and was very fond of. I'm so nervous.

Are you scared nervous? Or happy, excited nervous?

[amyzzz]

I think a cashier girl in the Pet Smart hit on me -- "I like your perfume." I wasn't wearing any, so I got flustered. (might be my cucumber deodorant)

[chairmenmeow47]

I am going to see someone I haven't seen in 11 years. Someone I dated briefly and was very fond of. I'm so nervous.

best of luck :thu

[rskapcat]

Good luck, Joann! Don't be nervous!

[Pixiessp]

Are you scared nervous? Or happy, excited nervous?

The latter. Actually a little of both.

I will try to be brave. *nervous laughter*

[HowToDisappear]

Here's to a happy reunion.

[Courtney]

Warren Zevon is not cheezy.

xeFVFz0XTa8

[HowToDisappear]

OUCH. That is so not fair to Warren. No one ever claimed he could act. (Who knew he ever did? I've never seen Suddenly Susan.) This is one of my faves:7eUsSXXc8wU

[Courtney]

Haha, no, I agree. Cheezy is an unfair characteristic. Most of his stuff is excellent. I just cherry picked the worst thing I could find, because I enjoy disagreeing with Tom.

[TomAz]

I wonder how close to death Warren was when that was filmed.

[Cheddar's Cousin]

I would appreciate it if we could not use "cheezy" as a perjorative. I mean...that sort of bigotry is really gay.

[Sleepingrock]

Sigged

[BROKENDOLL]

I'm kind of curious about this cucumber deodorant Amyzzz speaks of. I've never actually smelt a cucumber before, but I know they make great pickles. Not sure I'd want my armpits to smell like pickles...

[amyzzz]

It's Dove deodorant, BD. Cucumbers do not smell the same as pickles btw.

[BROKENDOLL]

It's Dove deodorant, BD. Cucumbers do not smell the same as pickles btw.
Are you trying to trick me into putting things up my nose, Amyzzz? LOL

[JustSteve]

Cucumbers do not smell the same as pickles btw.

that's the "no shit sherlock" of the week right there.

[chiapet]

This weekend I hit upon a phenomenon whereby wearing a dress and lots of glitter makes people hit on me. (I thought I looked ridiculous, but hey, I probably seemed easy). May have to try this again to see if it's a fluke.

[chairmenmeow47]

i approve of sundresses & glitter :thu

also, how was the wedding & bridal shit, corinna?

this weekend i will be camping for the first time in many, many years. friday night through monday. i'm nervous about the lack of showers. i can handle baby wipes & not shaving, but man, my hair is going to be a fright. maybe i can just keep it in braids the whole time?

especially after spending 45 minutes on sunday undoing this:

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/868202-2/a+fright.jpg

[locachica73]

LOL I suggest braids then, you might end up with small woodland creatures in a nest like that. I am sure it was fun tangling that up but the untangling had to hurt like a bitch.

[chairmenmeow47]

copious amounts of hair died in the name of fun.

[chiapet]

Braids work. I also have had good (maybe better) luck putting my hair into buns - the type where you put it into a ponytail then wrap & tuck the ends.

[amyzzz]

Cutting your hair works.

[miscorrections]

Oh my god, Ivy, shit was bananas.

[HowToDisappear]

Ivy, keep your hair in braids and cover your head with a bandanna; you should be fine.

The longest I've gone without showering was about two weeks on a camping trip in Oregon. I had long hair at the time and it's very oily and HOLY CRAP WAS MY HAIR RANK. Ever since then I've never gone more than four days on a camping/hiking trip without washing it, even in the middle of nowhere. There's only so much disguising a bandanna can do.

[chairmenmeow47]

two weeks, that's insane!

[HowToDisappear]

I was 13 at the time. Never again. Actually, that whole trip put me off of the entire idea of ever living in Oregon. It was freezing cold and raining (in August). We and all our gear were continually damp. A hot shower would have been heaven.

[locachica73]

I was 13 at the time. Never again. Actually, that whole trip put me off of the entire idea of ever living in Oregon. It was freezing cold and raining (in August). We and all our gear were continually damp. A hot shower would have been heaven.

One of many reasons I will never move back. The gray skies for days on end are enough to depress even the happiest of people.

[locachica73]

I recently went shopping and have found out that I really like Kohls. I got 2 pairs of jeans, 3 shirts, 12 pair of socks and 10 pair of panties for $160... They then gave me $30 in Kohls cash that I went and spent yesterday on another pair of jeans and 3 tshirts. That place rocks. And I am digging the Levi Boyfriend Jeans, they actually have room for ass. :)

[chiapet]

I wish retail therapy didn't work so well. I'm having a fucking miserable week, HOWEVER, I felt awesome after spending a fortune. New shoes, new bras, new jeans, new purses. :)

[rskapcat]

Heidi, it totally works.

I heart this jacket:

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?subCategoryId=CLOTHES-COATS-COATS&id=19377779&catId=CLOTHES-COATS&pushId=CLOTHES-COATS&popId=CLOTHES&sortProperties=&navCount=15&navAction=top&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=030&colorName=GREEN&isSubcategory=true&isProduct=true&isBigImage=&templateType=

I have no pictures of it on me, but I'm dying for cooler weather so I can wear it EVERY DAY. It buttons over my boobs perfectly...that NEVER happens. LOVE IT.

[chiapet]

That's really cute, Becca. (It cracked me up a little that it's a 'cooler weather' jacket -- I know it does get cold there but that's a year-round jacket here).

I've been looking for a cute "winter" coat for ages, everything that fits looks frumpy.

[chairmenmeow47]

i wish i could afford anthropologie.

[chiapet]

I never end up wearing the things I buy from anthropologie. They're darling but mostly end up being too 'cute' for me to pull off.

[locachica73]

ive never even heard of antropologie... but I do think that jacket is cute. :)

[miscorrections]

I can sometimes afford things from their sale section, but even that adds up fast.

[hawkingvsreeve]

If it's going to get worn often, it's worth spending the money. Also feeling good in what you are wearing is usually worth the price tag. You all know this. I'll leave.

[chiapet]

I agree, but usually I just use it as a justification to buy stuff I don't need. :)

[chairmenmeow47]

i just hate that i buy way too much dry clean stuff. i have this adorable black & yellow dress from there that i never wear because i can't afford to get it cleaned:

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/d/643590-3/049+26+birthday+GKB.jpg

and it's not just that i can't afford to get the ONE dress cleaned, it's that i can't afford to send the several dresses, slacks, skirts and blouses to get cleaned.

i agree with corinna on the sale rack stuff at anthropologie. i have a really cute white mini-skirt i got there on sale. thankfully a lot of the stuff also doesn't fit me right, so i don't have to worry about it all adding up.

[locachica73]

That guy in the background almost looks like he is stalking you.

[chairmenmeow47]

ha ha ha, he's my old roommate. we were all going to my birthday dinner.

[locachica73]

After last night I think my creeper vibe is a little over sensitive.

[minogueCOMMAk]

I almost rarely EVER pay full price for anything. I started paying for my own clothes when I was 16 and got my first job and was buying only name brand clothing. I'd much rather buy stuff from a thrift store that is lightly used or get items on sale. I love fashion. I just refuse to dedicate a lot of money to it.

[chairmenmeow47]

i read the foot thing... umm, yeah. i would be too.