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amyzzz
04-27-2010, 08:31 AM
I liked my hair short back in 2007 -- I did not regret cutting it. I will do it again someday when I am ready.

Courtney
04-27-2010, 08:35 AM
I've never had my hair any shorter than an angular bob like this:

http://besthaircutstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/medium-bob-hairstyle.jpg

I quite liked it and would go back, but I don't think I would go much shorter.

HowToDisappear
04-27-2010, 08:36 AM
did anyone who was considering cutting their hair short actually go through with it? if so, are you happy with it?

YES and YES

sames44
04-27-2010, 08:38 AM
I love that cut! just not sure if I have the facial features to pull it off, if I'll miss being able to throw it in a ponytail, if it will look good with my thin/fine hair, etc...

miscorrections
04-27-2010, 08:44 AM
I love a-line bobs, very flattering on mostly everyone. I imagine once my hair gets to a certain length I'll feel the need to chop it all off again.

HowToDisappear
04-27-2010, 08:45 AM
I don't do anything to it at all. It's nearly as good as shaving my head! I have fine, thin hair, too. Ponytails, pffft. Too much work. The thing about hair is, it grows. So if you don't like it, it'll grow back.

Hannahrain
04-27-2010, 09:09 AM
I liked my hair short back in 2007 -- I did not regret cutting it. I will do it again someday when I am ready.

I remember you posting a picture with it short like that. I thought it was flattering.

algunz
04-27-2010, 09:24 AM
did anyone who was considering cutting their hair short actually go through with it? if so, are you happy with it?

I did and I love it. It's like a new found lease on life.

As HTD mentioned, it will always grow back.

chiapet
04-27-2010, 09:30 AM
I love bobs in theory but every time I've had one, I've desperately wanted to be able to put my hair into a ponytail. I hate working out or going to warm climates with hair stuck to my neck.

amyzzz
04-27-2010, 09:32 AM
My hair is also fine and thin, and it worked out well. I'm waiting to see how long my hair will grow before I chop it all off. I'm hoping I can get it to my waist first.

SFChrissy
04-27-2010, 09:43 AM
I used to sport a semi-aline bob for years and always pulled it back in a pony tail...it's either a short full pony tail or a half one...

algunz
04-27-2010, 09:55 AM
hemorrhoid cream. isn't that what the celebs use?

You have to buy the Canadian preperation H because its the bio-dyne that does the trick. USA preperation H does not contain bio-dyne.

sames44
04-27-2010, 09:58 AM
I love bobs in theory but every time I've had one, I've desperately wanted to be able to put my hair into a ponytail. I hate working out or going to warm climates with hair stuck to my neck.

this, 100%. ugh what to do.

HowToDisappear
04-27-2010, 10:33 AM
So I had my annual, and told the doctor about the hair loss scare I had after my big weight loss. I asked her to do blood work to determine whether that was a possible cause, or if my thyroid levels or sex hormones levels were off. Hormone levels were all normal --- no peri-menopause or hyper-thyroidism. So I guess the weight loss was the cause after all. She also kind of shrugged and said, "well, at your age you're just not going to have the same head of hair you had at thirty." I'm just glad it stopped falling out (and regrew, somewhat).

chiapet
04-27-2010, 11:12 AM
Well, that's good, I guess! My mom keeps warning me that her hair started to thin out once she was 30, but I suspect it had more to do with nursing 3 kids in a row than age. Have heard that dramatic weight loss can cause a temporary problem though too.

motionnn77
04-27-2010, 11:19 AM
Regarding eyes: Tea bags w/ a high caffeine content. Like old school Liptons. Brew them, drain them, put them in the freezer, then on your eyes they go.

Someone mentioned Benefit concealer. That stuff really works.

chiapet
04-27-2010, 11:24 AM
It's the tannins in tea that help constrict the bags under your eyes, not the caffeine, but I'm not sure how you'd measure that... tannin is usually interpreted as bitterness, I suppose.

Drinking a bunch of red wine for the tannins does not help, I've tried that. :D

amyzzz
04-27-2010, 11:41 AM
I haven't had any dramatic weight loss -- my hair started falling out after I stopped using birth control and has continued falling out for a year and a half and counting. My blood tests showed my iron level was low too.

HowToDisappear
04-27-2010, 11:44 AM
Are your thyroid levels high? That will cause hair loss, too.

amyzzz
04-27-2010, 11:49 AM
Nope.

Courtney
04-27-2010, 12:06 PM
I haven't had any dramatic weight loss -- my hair started falling out after I stopped using birth control and has continued falling out for a year and a half and counting. My blood tests showed my iron level was low too.

The iron thing makes sense. That always happens to me if I go off birth control. I figure it's difference between the 3 days of light bleeding on birth control versus the 7-8 days of monstrous painful heavy bleeding without.

amyzzz
04-27-2010, 12:15 PM
My iron is low anyway because I don't eat beef or pork. err, or dark leafy green veggies.

Courtney
04-27-2010, 12:17 PM
I'm borderline anemic and I eat all those things. Especially spinach. I have serious spinach cravings, weekly.

chiapet
04-27-2010, 12:37 PM
I lost a significant amount of hair when I first went off birth control (like a handful every hair wash, it was scary) but it balanced out. I've never been anemic (I don't eat very much red meat at all but I eat a lot of greens) so I'm inclined to think it's not just the anemia but something with the hormone fluctuation... though for it to continue happening a year later would worry me. Mine lasted for a couple of months.

motionnn77
04-28-2010, 12:25 PM
Amyzz: How long were you on birth control? I was on it 3 months and stopped. My hair is still in tact, but, damn, the bleeding!

Do you take extra iron? The slow release control is great. It doesn't , um affect your digestive system.

chiapet
05-02-2010, 12:26 PM
God help me, I ordered an epilator type device off of Amazon. It arrives on Wednesday, so look for me to be drunk and ranting about the pain before the weekend.

(I am going to try to use this on my ARMPITS. Doom.)

chiapet
05-03-2010, 09:10 AM
So that did not even hurt. Barely pinched. Or I have an insanely high tolerance for pain. And now my armpits are sooo smooth. Let's see if I get a ton of painful ingrown hairs from this. :P

herro kitty
05-03-2010, 09:28 AM
I haven't had any dramatic weight loss -- my hair started falling out after I stopped using birth control and has continued falling out for a year and a half and counting. My blood tests showed my iron level was low too.

Amy, I'm in your boat. :( Let me know how those iron supplements are working!!



Alright, time for TMI:

How do you guys feel about prominent mons pubises? I have a really large pubic bone and I look like I have a raging hardon every time I wear a swim suit... I'm really considering reduction surgery.. :(

chiapet
05-03-2010, 09:32 AM
Without making light of your worry, I'd say that you probably see yourself differently than others do (not to mention have spent more time examining yourself). A lot of us have seen you in a swimsuit. I can assure you there was nothing out of the ordinary. :)

algunz
05-03-2010, 09:36 AM
What would that surgery entail? Would they shave down the pubic bone?




Too many innuendos. :)

herro kitty
05-03-2010, 10:26 AM
Ah Chia.. thanks for that, but since I lost some weight, my mons pubis is more protuberant now :(

And Algunz, they lipo the fat and excise the excess skin. I'd be worried about losing sensation since it's so near my clitoris though..

Astrid
05-03-2010, 10:29 AM
i would say absolutely dont do it, or absolutely dont do it until youre older. electing to have any type of surgery at this age (or ever?), especially a strange/invasive cosmetic surgery is really stupid.

of all the things i used to trip balls about in regards to my body, i cant think of one i still give a shit about.

edit: okay not as strange/invasive as i imagined. still seems unnecessary. i would rather have a pseudo boner than a gnarly vag scar.

algunz
05-03-2010, 10:30 AM
They wouldn't cut any nerves, right? How would you loose feeling?

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 11:34 AM
Amy, I'm in your boat. :( Let me know how those iron supplements are working!!

Barb, the supplements did bring my iron levels up, but my dermatologist recommended I stop taking them and just eat iron-rich foods from now on. I think it might be dangerous to be on such high iron supplements for too long, so I stopped taking them.

Regarding my hair, it's still very thin, and I'm considering going to those companies that have hair loss infomercials because I'm not satisfied with what my dermatologist has done. "Hair Club for Men" here I come! (only for women)

malcolmjamalawesome
05-03-2010, 11:37 AM
Hey you broads, how am I supposed to apply eye cream?

algunz
05-03-2010, 11:38 AM
Stick your face in it.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 11:47 AM
Ringfinger.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 11:47 AM
(one of my favorite early NIN songs, btw)

chiapet
05-03-2010, 11:48 AM
Eye cream? I knew you were a puffer

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-03-2010, 11:51 AM
What is "eye cream?"

(serious question)

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 11:57 AM
Cream that women put on at night to make eye wrinkles, dark circles, and puffiness go away.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-03-2010, 12:00 PM
Ah, so it's not actually applied onto the eyeballs. i thought it was like lubricant for people's eyes or some such shit

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:01 PM
No, under the eyes.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-03-2010, 12:02 PM
I learn so many things in this thread. it's like watching the Discovery channel.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:04 PM
You have no idea how much money women can easily dump into cosmetics. It's frightening.

algunz
05-03-2010, 12:07 PM
That's why I usually avoid make-up all together. Although, as the age is becoming more noticeable, I will probably have to change my lazy ways.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:08 PM
*sigh* I'm just discovering this now as I am getting older. It turns out you need makeup to look good when you're in your 30's and beyond. Sucks.

TommyboyUNM
05-03-2010, 12:11 PM
Can we have a day of silence for most of the women on this board? You guys fucking suck today.

algunz
05-03-2010, 12:11 PM
So by our 40s we're just fucked. :(

algunz
05-03-2010, 12:14 PM
Can we have a day of silence for most of the women on this board? You guys fucking suck today.

Can you please pinpoint our suckiness, so we can make the appropriate adjustments just to appease you?

Hannahrain
05-03-2010, 12:14 PM
Can we have a day of silence for most of the women on this board? You guys fucking suck today.

Who rejected Tommy and which thread should I read to witness it?

algunz
05-03-2010, 12:16 PM
I ruined his fun with Brandon and Andrew in The Ecstasy Climax Song thread. Not that exciting, Hannah.

daxton
05-03-2010, 12:16 PM
I think there were a few. I may have been one of them. It was more of a fun ruining rather than rejection.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 12:18 PM
Barb, I have the same issue with the umm whatever you called it, didn't know there was a name for it, it does still bother me to an extent but not anything I would ever have surgery for. Your a beautiful girl, this should be the least of your worries. I have always said that I would consider breast implants if I lost enough weight but I see it as a slippery slope now. My friend had flabby arms, got that fixed, then went in for a face lift, then a tummy tuck, thigh lift, breast up, it is just ridiculous. And she is in her 40's now and looks like a woman carved of wax. Don't worry about a puffy pussy and enjoy your gorgeousness. :)

chiapet
05-03-2010, 12:25 PM
Who sucks and what did we do?

gunz, I've decided I don't care about aging and wrinkles. Maybe my story will change once I have more of them. ;) I'm too lazy/inconsistent to remember to even put moisturizer on most days.

Which brings me to my latest rant. During those rare intervals when I actually try to take care of my skin, it revolts against my effort. Specifically, any sort of anti-aging stuff or even facial moisturizer really irritates my skin. It gets really hot, red,... it doesn't itch but i start sneezing and coughing. It's weird.

If I just wash my face and do nothing more, I'm fine. Or use just regular body lotion like lubriderm or something on my face.

algunz
05-03-2010, 12:28 PM
Then do that.

Your body usually lets you know when it's not happy.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 12:28 PM
That is all I can do too Chia, Lever 2000 soap and body lotion. Almost everything else fucks up my skin. The only thing I ever found that worked for me was Cliniques Moisture Extreme or someshit. I don't remember exactly, but then I realized I could use lubriderm for about 1/10 of the cost. So I just stick to that. I am 37 and get carded regularly. Why try to fix what isn't broke. Right?

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:29 PM
I'm using a Cetaphil cleanser and Cetaphil moisturizer in the morning and at night, along with some prescribed acne meds, and that's all I do for now.

I'm debating whether or not I should add eye cream into the mix. I fucked up by not wearing sunglasses ever, and it's starting to show.....

chiapet
05-03-2010, 12:31 PM
My skin loves the hell out of shiseido cleanser, and doesn't really need moisturizer except on my forehead. I just feel guilty sometimes that I don't moisturize anymore (when I do it's for the sunscreen :) ) and I dunno, I feel like I should be using EYE CREAM for example but fuck it.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:32 PM
Eye creams can be very pricey.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 12:34 PM
I have always done really well by anything clinique makes, and I have some severe allergies to cleansers, creams and makeup so if you want to throw something else in the mix I would recommend them to anyone who has any skin allergies/irritations.

MissingPerson
05-03-2010, 12:34 PM
Man. This thread sometimes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

Hannahrain
05-03-2010, 12:36 PM
But the tips of my eyelashes are slightly mottled in color.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:43 PM
Crooked arms. Can I fix those?

daxton
05-03-2010, 12:45 PM
Why did MP delete that post? It was funny.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 12:48 PM
She's too scared of what others might think of her lazy sentence structure.

chiapet
05-03-2010, 01:00 PM
I feel like I missed something big, while I dared to work for the last 30 minutes.

loca, I might try Clinique but I'm kinda burned out on buying expensive stuff that just irritates me. My face always feels like it's moisturized anyway (not oily just moist). (Maybe because I drink a ton of water?) I'm just certain that I'm about to get wrinkles any day, to match my white hairs. :)

locachica73
05-03-2010, 01:08 PM
They always give their eye cream/moisturizer away during the free bonus weeks. I think you just have to spend $25 or something to get the bonus. My sister always gets 2 and gives me one, they just did one last month before coachella and I got some great stuff. Wait till then and you can go buy a bottle of perfume or something you know you will use and try the bonus creams that way. All of the different high end counters do that too so even if you wanted to try something other than clinique...

My sister also really likes the oil of olay stuff which she gets at Costco if I remember right. I haven't tried it though.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 01:32 PM
I got 2 or 3 jars of Clinique's Moisture Surge (??) for free when several cosmetic companies were giving out free cosmetics last year to make amends for this huge class action lawsuit against the cosmetic companies. (Score!) I haven't used it a lot though since my dermatologist recommended Cetaphil products.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 01:36 PM
If you don't want it I would take it off your hands, I love the stuff but couldn't afford it anymore so I switched to my other stuff, but would love to have some of that, it helps with my extremely dry skin. That is what I was trying to think of but couldn't remember the name.

chiapet
05-03-2010, 01:40 PM
Cetaphil really REALLY bothers my skin. It feels like it's burning me.

Maybe I'll go peruse the drugstore when I take lunch. :)

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 01:40 PM
I will try to bring you some when I see you next.

Astrid
05-03-2010, 01:50 PM
i do absolutely nothing in regards to skin care. its working out for me so far, but i wonder if one day i will regret it.

i was some department store cosmetics area once, probably like 15 years old, and some old scary woman started screaming at me about how i will hate my life if i dont moisturize. it was like she could SENSE my lack of moisture :-/ sometimes i have flashbacks to that moment and feel like i suck at being a lady...

locachica73
05-03-2010, 01:58 PM
Amy, that needs to happen soon, I think we need to plan a phoenix meetup. I am craving my coachella feelings and they only come around when I see my coachella friends. :)

Astrid, I kind of suck at being a girl too, the only reason I moisturize now is because I live in the desert. It is about the only girly practice I have. I did decide though that I will have to start carrying a purse though. Which sucks balls. I hate purses but its the only way I can think of to carry around all my new prescriptions, I am going to rattle. GREAT.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 02:06 PM
Loca, fannypack FTW! haha, no, use a purse.

I will be using my fannypack again for Sasquatch though. At Coachella, I so loved having all my stuff right in front of me on my belly, like I was a kangaroo or something.

minogueCOMMAk
05-03-2010, 02:12 PM
I NEED a cute fannypack. It just looks so much more convenient than the side purse I was sporting. I was able to dance, but it was so little and provided many chances for me to lose valuables. I ended up holding my camera and phone in my hands the entire time. I wasn't really worried about hold them, but I was just super anxious when they were in my purse. I guess I'll just blame it on the drugs. Either way, I think fannypacks are cute and SO MUCH EASIER.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 02:12 PM
I kind of dug having my back pack with all my stuff in it but know I would look silly being a 37 year old with a back pack. Fanny pack would be too small, I am like an old lady with all my pills. I am going to have to get one of those monday/sunday pill bottle things.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 02:15 PM
You should get one, Kylie. Do a google search for fanny pack or hip pack. I found a cute black one with purple & green paisleys on it. The brand name starts with a "D," can't remember it.

minogueCOMMAk
05-03-2010, 02:24 PM
See a fannypack would be perfect for me. I carry around a camera, phone, miniwallet which is just big enough for a couple of bills, a credit card, and my id. I need my ciggs (hopefully by next year that changes), lighter, and chap stick. A fanny pack would be perfect. I will get one by next year.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 02:28 PM
Brand name might be Dakine.

minogueCOMMAk
05-03-2010, 02:30 PM
Brand name might be Dakine.

Gracias, I will start my epic search for a fanny pack. I will probably be all girly and ask for advice.

chiapet
05-03-2010, 02:35 PM
loca, I don't think twice about seeing 30-somethings (or older) with backpacks, but I work in tech... tons of people carry backpacks, because it's way more comfortable than shoulder bags when you're lugging a laptop around all day.

I just can't make myself wear a fanny pack... perhaps if I were small through the middle I'd go for it, but seriously, it would be my belly hanging over the fanny pack... :)

Love messenger bags for day to day stuff. I can carry a lot of stuff without feeling girly. oddly when I do carry purses, I carry so much less stuff. :)

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 02:40 PM
Jacob had a messenger bag this year (for one day and one day only). It was a little too big to carry around all day.

miscorrections
05-03-2010, 02:43 PM
I have a fanny pack, brought it to Coachella one year. They're nice and fuss-free, although it was a tiny bit small for everything (which is why I switched to my small cross-body bag).

minogueCOMMAk
05-03-2010, 02:43 PM
That is my exact hesitation, Heidi. Those extremely skinny girls look adorable with a fanny pack, I have a little extra meat. I am not fat, but I think a fanny pack would draw attention to the gut I have.

guedita
05-03-2010, 02:44 PM
Everyone looks good in a fanny.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 02:50 PM
I'm afraid mine probably looked ridiculous, but by god, it was convenient. I had my money, phone, camera, gum, hand sanitizer, extra ear plugs, goodies, and even a Clif bar in there. Oh and the bracelet I still need to give to feather.

edit re: skinny girls, I am skinny but I have a bit of a belly sometimes, so it can't have helped.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-03-2010, 03:02 PM
for a second there I thought you said you had your gun in there

MissingPerson
05-03-2010, 03:04 PM
Everyone looks good in a fanny.

Muhahhhaahaha.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 03:06 PM
Yeah, my little pearl-handled snub-nose gun.

One caveat: security worked me over more when I wore this on my waist, but then again, I was also wearing ravery fluorescent yellow top and brown hot pants that day.

chiapet
05-03-2010, 03:06 PM
I meant messenger bags for normal day to day life (instead of purses). Messenger bags really bother me at coachella. I think I have too much stuff for a fanny pack anyway though. Maybe if I dumped most of my stuff in a locker first.

minogueCOMMAk
05-03-2010, 03:12 PM
Everyone looks good in a fanny.

http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss288/MoronsWithSigns/sorrycanthearyouoverthesoundofmypat.jpg

guedita
05-03-2010, 03:15 PM
Commie.

miscorrections
05-03-2010, 03:15 PM
Kylie, I'll bring mine to Hamsquatch and you can see what you think. Demo it out. (It's pretty boring - just brown with a grey zipper.)

locachica73
05-03-2010, 03:17 PM
I am so ungirly I had to google search messenger bag, I would have called it a pouch. That actually looks like something I could work with and not feel overly girly. Thanks girls.

Doing coachella with a wheelchair meant I never got searched by security. Even when they looked in my back pack they saw bottles of water, pill bottles and just waved me through. I am thinking I might just rent one every year... (Just kidding)

JustSteve
05-03-2010, 03:17 PM
just picked up my third bottle of the dermalogica microfoliant. thanks to the ladies who were talking about it many, many moons ago...

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 03:19 PM
I am so ungirly I had to google search messenger bag, I would have called it a pouch. That actually looks like something I could work with and not feel overly girly. Thanks girls.

Doing coachella with a wheelchair meant I never got searched by security. Even when they looked in my back pack they saw bottles of water, pill bottles and just waved me through. I am thinking I might just rent one every year... (Just kidding)
Messenger bags are purses marketed towards men, so yeah, those won't tend to be girly.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-03-2010, 03:20 PM
We like to call it a Murse.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 03:22 PM
I thought it was a "European man bag"....

Courtney
05-03-2010, 03:44 PM
I stole Corinna's fannypack for last year, and I can confirm that it does indeed rule as a good solution for keeping hands free and backs and shoulders painless. (Thanks Corinna!)

Mr. Dylanja
05-03-2010, 03:47 PM
"rob ya and say thank ya, now that's keepin' it gangsta"

miscorrections
05-03-2010, 03:47 PM
Yep, I am glad you found it satisfactory.

miscorrections
05-03-2010, 03:48 PM
By "stole" she means "politely asked in advance".

MissingPerson
05-03-2010, 03:49 PM
I am pro-messenger bag, generally. I am anti-fannypack, due to the fact that they harbour a suggestion of colostomy bags.

EDIT:

This is evidently a symptom of Atlantic divide, however.

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 03:49 PM
I can't really imagine Courtney stealing anything, ever.

herro kitty
05-03-2010, 03:59 PM
I always seem to find something wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I have crippling low self-esteem issues :( My friend who's a mom said that girls with large mons pubises can give birth to babies with large heads or something, haha. An African friend said in her culture, girls with big pubic bones are more sexual and kinky :)

I guess I'm just so self-conscious about it because I think guys will think I have a penis :( (Which I don't, I'll prove it if I have to!! :D)

Hehe

Anyway, about fannypacks, they are the best idea ever! I've been bringing my fannypack to all my raves and it is awesome.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v651/10/110/1030980037/n1030980037_30140267_2132.jpg

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs093.snc1/4949_1103579022951_1030980037_30317887_3771361_n.j pg

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs241.ash1/16868_1216392563219_1030980037_30621049_7619668_n. jpg

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 04:07 PM
Like your green socks in that first pic, Barb.

Courtney
05-03-2010, 04:09 PM
Barb is adorable in all possible ways, and if she has low esteem it is only yet another indicator of how messed up we are as a culture.

Barb, feel free to come visit me anytime and I will do my best to perpetually hit on you and boost your self-esteem :)

chiapet
05-03-2010, 04:33 PM
I always seem to find something wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I have crippling low self-esteem issues

You do. And no matter how much we try to convince you of how wonderful you are, YOU have to believe it. Someday you will realize that there are billions of girls who'd kill to be as beautiful as you. And someday you'll look back and wish you (still) looked like you do now. ;)

locachica73
05-03-2010, 04:49 PM
Not only is she beautiful in appearance but in spirit as well. That is the true sign of beauty. There are plenty of pretty women out there who have horrible personalities, which is a sad thing. I love when I meet girls who are beautiful inside and out. Most of the coachella girls I have met fall in this category. :)

amyzzz
05-03-2010, 04:56 PM
Jesus, Barb. You're gorgeous. HUSH. :)

miscorrections
05-03-2010, 05:12 PM
Barb makes me feel all funny in my pants.

MissingPerson
05-03-2010, 05:21 PM
I've already given you a word for that.

herro kitty
05-03-2010, 08:22 PM
Ahhhhhhh you guys make me all flustered inside. I love you all so incredibly much. Thank you for your kind words. It's really comforting to have a group of sincere and intelligent women to talk with about weird/gross/cool girl stuff :D

I'm gonna work on my self-image. I don't think I'm overweight anymore (most of the time ahh). It's just really hard when I see photos of what the media portrays as perfection and how far I am from that.. sigh. Especially since it's bikini season and all the models have flat crotches!! Heheeheh :) What grinds my gears is how guys expect girls to look like toothpicks with big breasts and their coinciding refusal to appreciate the natural body! But fuck em. I know that a real man would appreciate a real woman and that's what I'm looking for.


Courtney I'm definitely visiting you and you can definitely hit on me all you want (hint: I take my clothes off after 3 shots ;))

And I can definitely say all of you are seriously kickass ladies. I can't wait to hang out with you guys soon :)

locachica73
05-03-2010, 08:34 PM
Ahhhhhhh you guys make me all flustered inside. I love you all so incredibly much. Thank you for your kind words. It's really comforting to have a group of sincere and intelligent women to talk with about weird/gross/cool girl stuff :D

I'm gonna work on my self-image. I don't think I'm overweight anymore (most of the time ahh). It's just really hard when I see photos of what the media portrays as perfection and how far I am from that.. sigh. Especially since it's bikini season and all the models have flat crotches!! Heheeheh :) What grinds my gears is how guys expect girls to look like toothpicks with big breasts and their coinciding refusal to appreciate the natural body! But fuck em. I know that a real man would appreciate a real woman and that's what I'm looking for.


Courtney I'm definitely visiting you and you can definitely hit on me all you want (hint: I take my clothes off after 3 shots ;))

And I can definitely say all of you are seriously kickass ladies. I can't wait to hang out with you guys soon :)

super skinny, big breasted beautiful bitches are usually batshit crazy... and not the good kind of crazy, the boiling your bunny kind of crazy. At least most I have hung out with...

JustSteve
05-03-2010, 10:15 PM
What grinds my gears is how guys expect girls to look like toothpicks with big breasts and their coinciding refusal to appreciate the natural body!

sounds like you are hanging out with boys, not men. most men i know prefer a woman to look like a woman, not a 12 year old boy with implants.

locachica73
05-03-2010, 10:31 PM
sounds like you are hanging out with boys, not men. most men i know prefer a woman to look like a woman, not a 12 year old boy with implants.

That too!!!!

motionnn77
05-04-2010, 12:41 AM
I kind of dug having my back pack with all my stuff in it but know I would look silly being a 37 year old with a back pack. Fanny pack would be too small, I am like an old lady with all my pills. I am going to have to get one of those monday/sunday pill bottle things.

I wore a pink back pack that said 'American Princess' on it and I'll be 37 this month. Nobody laughed at me (that I know of)

I even got a couple of compliments on it. Never to old to carry a backpack.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 09:34 AM
It's just really hard when I see photos of what the media portrays as perfection and how far I am from that.. sigh. Especially since it's bikini season and all the models have flat crotches!! Heheeheh :) What grinds my gears is how guys expect girls to look like toothpicks with big breasts and their coinciding refusal to appreciate the natural body! But fuck em. I know that a real man would appreciate a real woman and that's what I'm looking for.

Porn and even fashion magazines are closer to caricatures than "ideals". No one looks like that without spending a sizable amount of time and money dedicated to maintenance of their body/look. Most of us probably could look that way if we wanted to sacrifice everything else we pursue -- the things that make us interesting in the first place. I think most guys are more realistic than that when it comes to what they're looking for physically and are not just looking for the "toothpick with big breasts" but someone who is physically attractive but also intelligent, interesting, etc.

Honestly, I think women are FAR harder on themselves and each other when it comes to appearance than guys are on women. We pick each other and ourselves apart, and try to compete with images that are fictionalized (airbrushed, edited) to begin with.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 09:51 AM
Barb, I hope this will come across the way it's intended and not hurtful or rude, but -- I think your attitude regarding yourself has a lot of influence over the reaction you get from men and even the type of guy you are attracting. If you do not believe in yourself, it's easy for others to minimize your worth. It makes you an easy target for people who would use low self-esteem as a means of manipulating you. The types of guys who are drawn to that... well, you get the picture. :)

Showing confidence in yourself, even if it's faked at first, goes a long way, and ultimately you have to decide that you're terrific before other people will treat you as if you are. It's sort of the opposite of the golden rule -- treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

daxton
05-04-2010, 09:55 AM
Finding the balance between confidence and conceit is difficult sometimes, though. I find people mistake one for the other.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 09:57 AM
As a guy, I think genuine confidence (as opposed to conceit) is pretty obvious. If you're faking confidence, it is more likely to come off a conceit. At least in my experience.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:00 AM
Hmmm. What are the signs of fake confidence or conceit?

chiapet
05-04-2010, 10:01 AM
I disagree, most people fake confidence to some extent. It's all in the execution... :) If it takes faking a bit to be assertive and project that you care for yourself... well, that to me is better than the alternative.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:03 AM
I think you're right, Chia. I think most of the time we think people are so confident, then we get to know them better only to find out they've got the normal insecurities like most of us.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 10:11 AM
Hmmm. What are the signs of fake confidence or conceit?

Ummm...hard to explain. It's not really tangible, and is probably more of my personal view than anything else. A big part of it (at least being down here) are the girls who name drop like it's no one's business. It comes off (to me) as trying to define self-worth based on who they know, who they are connected to, etc. And usually, vapidness kind of lends itself to conceit.

Confidence, to me, also has a humbleness (not the right word) to it. Someone recognizes they are good at something, is comfortable with their self, etc., but it doesn't overwhelm everything about them. Recognizing one's talents is cool. Pretending those talents make you better than the people around you (as people) is not cool.

What I just said doesn't make any sense. Sorry. It has just been my experience that I can tell the difference between conceit and confidence. I'm not doing a good job at articulating it.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 10:12 AM
I think you're right, Chia. I think most of the time we think people are so confident, then we get to know them better only to find out they've got the normal insecurities like most of us.

Everyone has insecurities though, even people who are really good at what they do. That doesn't necessarily detract from confidence. I don't think anyone goes out, meets someone and says "Hi, I'm Andrew, I am afraid of failure." You find those things out when people grow comfortable discussing them. Or whatever.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:13 AM
Humbleness is a word. Humility also works. What you said makes sense.

J~$$$$
05-04-2010, 10:13 AM
Everyone has insecurities though, even people who are really good at what they do. That doesn't necessarily detract from confidence. I don't think anyone goes out, meets someone and says "Hi, I'm Andrew, I am afraid of failure." You find those things out when people grow comfortable discussing them. Or whatever.

sounds conceited.

Here is a small sample of what we go through.

http://i.imgur.com/263sv.jpg

bballarl
05-04-2010, 10:15 AM
sounds conceited.

Excuse me while I throw bread at the plebians from my tower.

Also, the rest of your post is pretty much correct.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 10:17 AM
Finally booked a haircut so I can be presentable (and redheaded!) again. Now I just need to find a tattoo artist whose book gives me reasonable confidence they can do what I want. Unfortunately, I'm not seeing anyone yet who's done graphic prints - it's all classic American, portraiture, and Asian. Boo.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 10:17 AM
Just get an Asian symbol that says "J. Spaceman" or something.

jackstraw94086
05-04-2010, 10:19 AM
Barb, quit whining, you're hot.
You'd be a lot hotter if you were making me a sandwich though.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 10:19 AM
No. I am getting the Marimekko Pakkanen print, which means I need to purchase something so I have a reasonably-sized reference. I am still not sure where it is going.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 10:20 AM
Mostly I find the really super pretty girls are the most insecure at times, which is what makes them act overly confident or conceited. Which in turn makes them batshit crazy. If people would just be happy in their own life, in their skin and enjoy the good and appreciate what comes of the bad then life would just be better.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 10:20 AM
Good luck Corinna.

Time for me to leave this thread. Peace.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:23 AM
sounds conceited.

Here is a small sample of what we go through.

http://i.imgur.com/263sv.jpg

This makes me feel like I've been a terrible girlfriend to most of my boyfriends. I was amazing to one of them though. You know, the one that's getting married next week. It's awesome.

Also, it bothers me that vegetarian is misspelled.

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 10:27 AM
And cell is missing an l.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:28 AM
And cell is missing an l.

Oh yeah, and that.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 10:33 AM
I try to do almost all of that except the leather boot thing... I live in the desert.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 10:36 AM
I try to be a good girlfriend but my mom told me I am definitely not. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong - I don't get jealous, I don't get needy, I try to make things fun, I am DTF. I am extremely indecisive, which can make last minute "hey, what do you want to do" conversations frustrating, but that's an overarching flaw and not just a relationship thing. I feel like that all OUGHT to make me a good girlfriend, but somehow it doesn't add up.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 10:37 AM
I try to be a good girlfriend but my mom told me I am definitely not. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong - I don't get jealous, I don't get needy, I try to make things fun, I am DTF. I am extremely indecisive, which can make last minute "hey, what do you want to do" conversations frustrating, but that's an overarching flaw and not just a relationship thing. I feel like that all OUGHT to make me a good girlfriend, but somehow it doesn't add up.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM SO WELL.

J~$$$$
05-04-2010, 10:37 AM
"DTF" haha awesome

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:40 AM
I try to be a good girlfriend but my mom told me I am definitely not. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong - I don't get jealous, I don't get needy, I try to make things fun, I am DTF. I am extremely indecisive, which can make last minute "hey, what do you want to do" conversations frustrating, but that's an overarching flaw and not just a relationship thing. I feel like that all OUGHT to make me a good girlfriend, but somehow it doesn't add up.

Why would your mom tell you you're not a good girlfriend? Not that mine wouldn't....

locachica73
05-04-2010, 10:40 AM
I had to google search

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:41 AM
Loca, really?

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 10:42 AM
Why would your mom tell you you're not a good girlfriend? Not that mine wouldn't....

Because as awesome as my mom is, she likes to criticize my personal life. My boyfriends always suck (actually I'm with her on that one), I'm a bad girlfriend, I'm never going to have a serious relationship ever because I'm "just not cut out for that". Moms, man.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:43 AM
Your mom and my mom should hang.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 10:44 AM
This is a bummer conversation and I am not in a bummer mood so I am going back to tat research.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 10:45 AM
Loca, really?

in my defense i am stoned.

daxton
05-04-2010, 10:46 AM
This is a bummer conversation and I am not in a bummer mood so I am going back to tat research.

I was in a bummer mood and this was sort of making me feel better somehow. Good luck with your tat.


in my defense i am stoned.

:)

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 10:46 AM
Like the old saying goes: you are not your mom's girlfriend.

guedita
05-04-2010, 11:00 AM
Are all of these mothers in magical, perfect relationships? My dysfunctional high school relationship was more of a success than my mother's marriage, so I don't listen to anything she has to say about my girlfriend skills.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 11:00 AM
I need to get a tattoo also. I have been saying that for a long time but it hasn't been in the budget. It still is not but I am laying here daydreaming that it might be someday.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 11:01 AM
Are all of these mothers in magical, perfect relationships? My dysfunctional high school relationship was more of a success than my mother's marriage, so I don't listen to anything she has to say about my girlfriend skills.

QFT

chiapet
05-04-2010, 11:02 AM
Andrew, your post was not inarticulate. I think I understand where you're coming from and agree for the most part. Insecurity is manifest as conceit, sometimes. Every person I've felt was conceited was trying to hid self-doubt. When it comes down to it, I guess I have a greater tolerance for people who behave very slightly conceitedly (even if it's false) than those who constantly put themselves down.

I suppose I did not well express what I meant, anyway.... in terms of faking confidence, I did not mean acting conceitedly but more... the subtle ways that most of us fake confidence constantly. We con ourselves a bit each time we go on a job interview, ask someone out, pick a tough project or paper topic, really anything new or challenging. We psych ourselves up in order to take a risk and at least temporarily focus away from the possibility of failure or rejection.

A lot of us (women -- but men too) are good at doing this when it comes to our intellectual capabilities but can't seem to extend this to cover our self-worth in terms of physical attractiveness.

Does that make sense?




http://i.imgur.com/263sv.jpg


As I was scrolling through the page, seriously the word I saw was "dildo". I'm beyond help, aren't I?

daxton
05-04-2010, 11:05 AM
Haha. My vibrator just broke the other day. You're not the only one beyond help.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 11:14 AM
I try to be a good girlfriend but my mom told me I am definitely not. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong - I don't get jealous, I don't get needy, I try to make things fun, I am DTF. I am extremely indecisive, which can make last minute "hey, what do you want to do" conversations frustrating, but that's an overarching flaw and not just a relationship thing. I feel like that all OUGHT to make me a good girlfriend, but somehow it doesn't add up.

Corinna, I'd like to say it's an age/maturity thing where you're ahead of the game and others will catch up, but I haven't really found this one to get easier as I've gotten older. A lot of people mistake lack of neediness and jealousy as lack of concern or true interest. Interpreting an easy going approach to dating as being emotionally uninvolved. It's something I thought would change as I aged and dated older/more experienced people. Instead relationships just seem to have a pretty finite expiration date once the other person realizes that my behavior is not going to evolve significantly as we date.

I find it very weird that this is considered not being good dating material, since it's the sort of behavior that almost everyone complains about, and which I'd find really intolerable from someone else.

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 11:15 AM
Haha. My vibrator just broke the other day. You're not the only one beyond help.

If you snapped it in half, you should bring that trick on the road.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 11:30 AM
Andrew, your post was not inarticulate. I think I understand where you're coming from and agree for the most part. Insecurity is manifest as conceit, sometimes. Every person I've felt was conceited was trying to hid self-doubt. When it comes down to it, I guess I have a greater tolerance for people who behave very slightly conceitedly (even if it's false) than those who constantly put themselves down.

I suppose I did not well express what I meant, anyway.... in terms of faking confidence, I did not mean acting conceitedly but more... the subtle ways that most of us fake confidence constantly. We con ourselves a bit each time we go on a job interview, ask someone out, pick a tough project or paper topic, really anything new or challenging. We psych ourselves up in order to take a risk and at least temporarily focus away from the possibility of failure or rejection.

A lot of us (women -- but men too) are good at doing this when it comes to our intellectual capabilities but can't seem to extend this to cover our self-worth in terms of physical attractiveness.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely makes sense. And I think you are right re: faking confidence in order to temporarily ignore the possibility of failure/rejection/whatever.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 11:32 AM
Andrew is such a revoltingly good guy.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 11:35 AM
I know I've already vomited four times since he first showed up in this thread.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 11:41 AM
Me too, but I throw up while reading most threads so it's not really an accurate barometer.

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 11:43 AM
4eYSpIz2FjU

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 11:51 AM
You need to be a little jealous so your SO knows you care. When my man wasn't jealous, I took it as an invitation to be bad. When he started being jealous, I stopped being bad. (or wanting to be bad)

daxton
05-04-2010, 11:54 AM
What?

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 11:55 AM
Not to comment or nothing, but jealousy strikes me as an incredibly weird pillar to hang a relationship on.

Courtney
05-04-2010, 11:56 AM
Corinna, I'm sure your mom is wonderful, but her thoughts in regards to you and dating suck.

J$'s image made me happy.

I am wearing bright red lipstick today and I'm in a good mood and it rules.

Courtney
05-04-2010, 11:57 AM
And yeah, IMO a little jealousy can be kind of cute in moderation, but it's not like anyone should freak out if it's not there.

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 11:57 AM
Not to comment or nothing, but jealousy strikes me as an incredibly weird pillar to hang a relationship on.
I think I read it in a...umm women's magazine. That's why Ryan Phillipe cheated on Reese Witherspoon according to the magazine. She wasn't jealous enough.

daxton
05-04-2010, 11:59 AM
A tiny bit of jealousy kinda makes me hot. Any more than a tiny bit makes me run. But, if the choices were a lot and none, I'd take none any day.

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 12:00 PM
That's what I mean. A LITTle bit of jealousy. We're not talking pathological jealousy here.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:02 PM
I used to have a boyfriend that would get super fucking pissed off when ANY other male acknowledged me. He would threaten to beat them up, etc. etc. etc. It was not attractive and actually pretty scary. Now, another boyfriend I had would give me like a puppy dog sad face if he thought I was paying attention to another guy more. I found that pathetic for the most part. I'm trying to find where I find jealousy to be endearing... I'm sure there is some instance.

guedita
05-04-2010, 12:02 PM
The Coachella board has actually contributed nicely to some moderate, healthy jealousy for my boyfriend. "Oh, going to another show with your internet message board guy friends?"

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 12:03 PM
I think maybe "jealousy" is the wrong word here.

"Interest", an SO should have a bit of "interest".

daxton
05-04-2010, 12:04 PM
I used to have a boyfriend that would get super fucking pissed off when ANY other male acknowledged me. He would threaten to beat them up, etc. etc. etc. It was not attractive and actually pretty scary. Now, another boyfriend I had would give me like a puppy dog sad face if he thought I was paying attention to another guy more. I found that pathetic for the most part. I'm trying to find where I find jealousy to be endearing... I'm sure there is some instance.

I'm thinking like 1 out of every 75 times another guy checks you out or calls you or something. Not a repetitive thing. And not a voice raising violent thing. I can't quite describe it.

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 12:04 PM
I think I read it in a...umm women's magazine. That's why Ryan Phillipe cheated on Reese Witherspoon according to the magazine. She wasn't jealous enough.

That's the most retarded thing I've ever read. From a women's magazine, of course.

(Not shitting on you, Amy. Shitting on Ryan Phillipe. And women's magazines.)

guedita
05-04-2010, 12:05 PM
I think Ryan Phillipe's lack of a career while Reese was making tons of $$ starring in movies probably also contributed to his cheating.

Courtney
05-04-2010, 12:06 PM
I used to have a boyfriend that would get super fucking pissed off when ANY other male acknowledged me. He would threaten to beat them up, etc. etc. etc. It was not attractive and actually pretty scary. Now, another boyfriend I had would give me like a puppy dog sad face if he thought I was paying attention to another guy more. I found that pathetic for the most part. I'm trying to find where I find jealousy to be endearing... I'm sure there is some instance.

I think it's because I tend to date guys who are pretty sweet, sensitive, gentle types. So to see them getting a little tiny bit aggressive trying to be protective of me is cute because it's not their general personality. It's cute because it's so unlike them. Does that make any sense?

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:06 PM
Ryan Philipe is gorgeous and I want to make sweet, sweet love to him via Cruel Intentions. Women's magazines are terrible, but I still somehow end up reading them.

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 12:08 PM
I read Esquire. I find the male perspective more informative and entertaining.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:09 PM
I think it's because I tend to date guys who are pretty sweet, sensitive, gentle types. So to see them getting a little tiny bit aggressive trying to be protective of me is cute because it's not their general personality. It's cute because it's so unlike them. Does that make any sense?

Yes, it totally does. I have either dated spineless guys that call me a millions times a day and have to see me almost everyday OR asshole cocky bastards that I want to fix. Well, I'm only 20, so I have a lot of time left in the dating pool.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 12:09 PM
I don't read any of them. I glean all my perspective on the human condition through observations made on public transit.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:11 PM
I just want to achieve the perfect orgasm and learn the 100 best ways to please your man, and the top 25 sex positions to try. That's the information I look for every week.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 12:12 PM
No, I know. We have a great bus system here.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:13 PM
No, I know. We have a great bus system here.

!!!!!!!!!! NOW I REALLY CANT WAIT TO VISIT.

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 12:13 PM
It does make sense.

I just can't stand a sustained tendency to jealousy, it's not something I find attractive.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-04-2010, 12:14 PM
The lunatic ramblings and aggressive tirades of cracked out homeless people and local drunks do tend to shed a lot of light on how relationships work.

daxton
05-04-2010, 12:17 PM
Ryan Philipe is gorgeous and I want to make sweet, sweet love to him via Cruel Intentions. Women's magazines are terrible, but I still somehow end up reading them.

I'm willing to bet Women's magazines contribute to Barb's negative body image and the rest of ours. I don't read them anymore. Not even in the grocery line (most of the time).

chiapet
05-04-2010, 12:18 PM
I think maybe "jealousy" is the wrong word here.

"Interest", an SO should have a bit of "interest".

I think that was my complaint, a page back, that so many people use 'jealousy' to indicate 'interest'. Are we really so emotionally immature that we require displays of jealousy to "feel" another person's interest and cannot find a better way to express ourselves? I'm not faulting individual acts/behaviors of jealousy, where warranted by the situation, just the notion that jealousy in a wider sense is a necessary part of a relationship.

(BTW that was not directed at you MP, just commenting on your comment!)

I can kind of understand jealousy when it occurs in relation and proportion to an incident that would create jealousy in most people, but even then I feel conflicted about it... are you expressing jealousy because it's easier or more acceptable than disappointment, insecurity, etc?

Also, regarding jealousy inspiring "better" behavior, nothing, NOTHING makes me act badly like a jealous partner. The more possessive and controlling and clinging someone is, the less I want him or her around.

guedita
05-04-2010, 12:18 PM
The toothless (ex) tweaker that lived in the room before me subscribed to Redbook and it still gets delivered...so I read it.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:20 PM
I'm willing to bet Women's magazines contribute to Barb's negative body image and the rest of ours. I don't read them anymore. Not even in the grocery line (most of the time).

I don't particularly think that just women's magazines are to blame. Billboards, comercials, television shows, movies, negative male figures, sometimes parents.

My step-mom was probably the worst avenue for me. She called me chubby all of my life, she made me wear make-up because it made me look better. She dyed my hair so I looked prettier. She also made me start tanning at 12 so I wasn't ghostly white. There was even one point where I had an eating disorder and I explained to her why her comments were fueling it. She said, "Maybe if you weren't overweight, you wouldn't feel the need to do that."

daxton
05-04-2010, 12:22 PM
I don't particularly think that just women's magazines are to blame. Billboards, comercials, television shows, movies, negative male figures, sometimes parents.

My step-mom was probably the worst avenue for me. She called me chubby all of my life, she made me wear make-up because it made me look better. She dyed my hair so I looked prettier. She also made me start tanning at 12 so I wasn't ghostly white. There was even one point where I had an eating disorder and I explained to her why her comments were fueling it. She said, "Maybe if you weren't overweight, you wouldn't feel the need to do that."

It's advertising and American popular culture and Disney and lots of things. Oh, and I don't like your step-mom.

Astrid
05-04-2010, 12:24 PM
jealousy is not attractive to me AT ALL. the best situation ive found is a dude who encouraged me to have a life of my own/do my own thing, and when i did do my own thing he wasnt jealous, just a little sad but accepting and understanding. that encourages honesty which really leaves no room for jealousy in any sane human.

but this is all coming from an insane longdistanceopenrelationshippileofshit-type relationship. this one aspect was ideal though.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-04-2010, 12:25 PM
Jealously means that someone is distrusting, and why you would want to be with somebody who doesn't trust is completely beyond me. It's gross.

daxton
05-04-2010, 12:25 PM
Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It's how you react or show it that determines sanity, in my opinion.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 12:27 PM
Jealous people are the worst. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT THEN THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT AND TAKE IT OUT ON YOU.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 12:28 PM
Also I would like to put a caveat to my non-jealous stance: I am decently jealous before I am with someone because it makes me nervous that someone else could come along and snaffle that person up. Once I am dating the person I am no longer jealous because my goal has been accomplished.

Astrid
05-04-2010, 12:29 PM
agreed daxton, but i think were all talking about people acting jealous, not feeling jealous.

sometimes i feel jealous when people have ice cream sandwiches and i dont have an ice cream sandwich...especially when its the kind with the cookies :(

MissingPerson
05-04-2010, 12:29 PM
I think that was my complaint, a page back, that so many people use 'jealousy' to indicate 'interest'. Are we really so emotionally immature that we require displays of jealousy to "feel" another person's interest and cannot find a better way to express ourselves? I'm not faulting individual acts/behaviors of jealousy, where warranted by the situation, just the notion that jealousy in a wider sense is a necessary part of a relationship.


Jealously means that someone is distrusting, and why you would want to be with somebody who doesn't trust is completely beyond me. It's gross.

Both of these things sum it up for me nicely. The three of us should date.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 12:30 PM
I like jealousy to an extent. Like Nick got a little jealous over a picture he saw of me at coachella where Mikey was kissing my cheek, he made a slight off handed comment and then made a little extra effort the next few days. That is fine, even cute in a way. Anything beyond that and I hit the road. But we need that, if not our SO would get bored i think. This is why I think flirting is good for a relationship too. I mean, if we thought that the only person in life who wanted us was our SO imagine how boring that would be? Flirting and Jealousy are both good for the ego which gives us our self esteem. It all runs together, you can't have one without the other.

minogueCOMMAk
05-04-2010, 12:30 PM
3jQdM_NTTJQ

daxton
05-04-2010, 12:31 PM
agreed daxton, but i think were all talking about people acting jealous, not feeling jealous.

sometimes i feel jealous when people have ice cream sandwiches and i dont have an ice cream sandwich...especially when its the kind with the cookies :(

Oh yeah...I guess you're right. Haha. The cookies and cream one are the best.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 12:32 PM
now i want chocolate covered strawberries and cookie ice cream sammiches. you guys are killing me.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 12:35 PM
Kylie, I hate to read that, but unfortunately that experience is one a lot of us share. Hopefully some day there will be a generation of women that get fed up and don't allow their daughters to be treated that way. Unfortunately most women don't seem to be able to break the cycle for themselves, so even if unintentionally, they pass the same habits and insecurities down to their daughters.

I'm fourth generation eating disorder (that I know of anyway), for god's sake. I've done my best to minimize the lasting impact it's had on me, but when you get fucked in the head over appearance when you're so young, it's really tough to fully shake it.

I also have weird mixed feelings on the matter, like, without my parents' influence, would I have gotten fat as a kid and resultantly had a completely different (and less enjoyable) experience due to being picked on or not popular? Or being happy with myself allowed me to have a happier adolescence in general? I really don't know. I'm certain my parents thought they were doing the best for me and (like your stepmom probably) thought they were teaching me how to get by in a culture that makes a lot of assessments of a person based on physical appearance. My mom regrets it now but she's (still) far more messed up regarding appearance than I am.


Jealously means that someone is distrusting, and why you would want to be with somebody who doesn't trust is completely beyond me. It's gross.

Hrm.... I find it difficult to trust someone completely, that sort of confidence in another person takes years, but, I'd turn your words around and say that jealousy IS about distrusting, and why would you want to be with somebody you had reason to distrust?

I guess that's why jealousy pisses me off... I take it as an affront to my integrity and loyalty -- and if somehow I've broken your confidence in me, why are you still with me?

Astrid
05-04-2010, 12:35 PM
oh that sounds ideaaaal. maybe ill make chocolate covered strawberries whilst i am studying...



I guess that's why jealousy pisses me off... I take it as an affront to my integrity and loyalty -- and if somehow I've broken your confidence in me, why are you still with me?
to this i always received the response "its not you im afraid of, ITS THE WHOLE WORLD@?%$>%?$@"

which makes no sense at all. oh sweet sweet justification. how you make life grand.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 12:37 PM
3jQdM_NTTJQ

I fucking love this album. Unironically. I don't care who knows it.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 12:39 PM
sometimes i feel jealous when people have ice cream sandwiches and i dont have an ice cream sandwich...especially when its the kind with the cookies :(

Ah, but see, that's envy, and I'm down with that.
And haven't had an ice cream sandwich in probably 10+ years. Hrmmmmmmmmm.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 12:39 PM
oh that sounds ideaaaal. maybe ill make chocolate covered strawberries whilst i am studying...

now im jealous

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 12:41 PM
I like some Gin Blossoms songs...but I always think of them as a local band, and it baffles me that anyone not from my state would like them.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 12:41 PM
Really Amy? They were really popular in the early/mid-90s, weren't they? They were big on radio in Ohio :)

locachica73
05-04-2010, 12:47 PM
they were pretty big in portland in the 90's too.. even i know them... :)

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 12:52 PM
Really Amy? They were really popular in the early/mid-90s, weren't they? They were big on radio in Ohio :)
I've always lived only here, so I wouldn't really know about other states. I remember this guy from NY telling me he knew about them, and I was like "really?" So I guess I do know, but I always feel like they're a local band.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 12:55 PM
I fucking love this album. Unironically. I don't care who knows it.

This.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 12:55 PM
Let's cover a Gin Blossoms song as a duet in earnest.

chiapet
05-04-2010, 12:59 PM
Yea Amy they had a handful of top 40 hits, so I think most people had heard of them. Our only radio was Top 40 and country, so Gin Blossoms were the type of band that everyone knew about whereas the college station/indie stuff was much sparser where I grew up.

obzen
05-04-2010, 12:59 PM
You need to be a little jealous so your SO knows you care. When my man wasn't jealous, I took it as an invitation to be bad. When he started being jealous, I stopped being bad. (or wanting to be bad)


I think that was my complaint, a page back, that so many people use 'jealousy' to indicate 'interest'. Are we really so emotionally immature that we require displays of jealousy to "feel" another person's interest and cannot find a better way to express ourselves?

People who use jealousy are often vicitims of it.

Mr. Dylanja
05-04-2010, 12:59 PM
I'm jealous of all the boardies that met Corinna this year.


And since I'm dylsexic I misread the Missed Connections thread as Miss Corrections every.single.time.


:winkiss

Ergofeev:v.X
05-04-2010, 12:59 PM
Let's cover a Gin Blossoms song as a duet in earnest.
People may or may not enjoy this endeavor.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 01:00 PM
Oh, they certainly won't.

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 01:01 PM
I don't think I've ever listened to an entire Gin Blossoms album.

chairmenmeow47
05-04-2010, 01:01 PM
i'm behind the times...

barb, i have no idea what term you are using, but my pelvis bone also sticks out in the front a bit. my old BFF's sister used to say i looked like i had a boner when we went swimming as kids. i hate it too. i've gotten used to it as i've gotten older, but i definitely avoid pants that are too tight in the top. when i go swimming, i also tend to stick out my ass a bit to compensate or tie sarongs around my waist. i really don't know what to say other than i have the same problem, and it never prevented anyone from entering my cash & prizes.

i also struggle with jealousy issues. i wish i didn't. i've gotten a lot better about it as the years go on, i can logically tell myself that something doesn't make sense or that i trust my boyfriend. but when it comes down to it, sometimes i have emotional reactions i cannot stop. i agree it sucks. i agree it's annoying. and it is a totally unattractive trait. but i have no idea how to turn off my emotions. i can logically talk it out and be ok with whatever upset me, but i can't stop myself from getting initially upset.

in some ways though, i think i'm pretty non-jealous. i've had more than one long-distance relationship for example and most of my boyfriend have had close girlfriends. thankfully i've never dated a jealous guy. i'm a social butterfly and i have been lucky to be with people who understand that. but i also don't do things like go to guy's houses on friday nights alone to watch movies with a bottle of wine or anything either.

bballarl
05-04-2010, 01:06 PM
Let's cover a Gin Blossoms song as a duet in earnest.

True that.


People may or may not enjoy this endeavor.

Psh.

herro kitty
05-04-2010, 01:12 PM
This thread moves fast!!


Barb, I hope this will come across the way it's intended and not hurtful or rude, but -- I think your attitude regarding yourself has a lot of influence over the reaction you get from men and even the type of guy you are attracting. If you do not believe in yourself, it's easy for others to minimize your worth. It makes you an easy target for people who would use low self-esteem as a means of manipulating you. The types of guys who are drawn to that... well, you get the picture. :)

Showing confidence in yourself, even if it's faked at first, goes a long way, and ultimately you have to decide that you're terrific before other people will treat you as if you are. It's sort of the opposite of the golden rule -- treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

No wonder only sketch guys come after me. Fuck! I'll work on this!! :)

It's really hard to change my way of thinking, especially if I've been in the same vicious cycle of self-loathing for years. I want to get out of my cesspool of negative thoughts. I'm better lately, though.. I try to work out every other day and I feel stronger and healthier when I do. And then I try to ride on that feeling as long as I can in order to get used to feeling strong and pretty all the time :)


I don't particularly think that just women's magazines are to blame. Billboards, comercials, television shows, movies, negative male figures, sometimes parents.

My step-mom was probably the worst avenue for me. She called me chubby all of my life, she made me wear make-up because it made me look better. She dyed my hair so I looked prettier. She also made me start tanning at 12 so I wasn't ghostly white. There was even one point where I had an eating disorder and I explained to her why her comments were fueling it. She said, "Maybe if you weren't overweight, you wouldn't feel the need to do that."


My mom was pretty vicious about making sure I knew I was too fat in highschool, too. She would always insult me in front of everyone at family parties and tried withholding food from me!!!! Then I lost a lot of weight after highschool but she still won't tell me I'm pretty.

She still tells me I need to lose 10 pounds. Fuck! Nothing will ever please moms.

amyzzz
05-04-2010, 01:17 PM
Barb, you are not fat either. Holy cow.

Still-ill
05-04-2010, 01:21 PM
People may or may not enjoy this endeavor.

Who's alias is this? I find him funny in a very dry sort of way.

Still-ill
05-04-2010, 01:23 PM
Barb, you are not fat either. Holy cow.

Hahahahahahaha
"Cow"

locachica73
05-04-2010, 01:24 PM
I often wonder why we put so much strength in what we look like to lend to how we feel about ourselves. I feel so much better knowing I am a good person and treat people well than I do knowing that someone thinks I am pretty or not. If people don't like the way I look then fuck them, or don't fuck them... They don't have to look at me. We need to start putting more stock in our own feelings then how we feel about what others feel about us. I don't look at myself and say damn im fine, but I don't think I am ugly either. I am just me and that is all I can do.

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 01:24 PM
My dad was a fat kid (and still fights it), and he tried so hard to keep me from turning out like him. He wouldn't call me fat, but he'd discourage me from eating too much, eating dessert, etc. Still does it. So I was a sneak eater and a binge eater. I ended up a chunky kid and a chunky adult. Still dealing with my past issues on a daily basis. Binge eating is a horrible thing...just about anything can trigger it. I don't hold it against my dad...he was never cruel about it, and I know he had my best interest at heart. But I do wonder if I would have turned out differently without his "help."

On the topic of jealousy, it's natural. Husband and I both avoid situations that would engender jealousy in the first place. He doesn't have a lot of female friends, aside from old high school friends. I have plenty of guy friends, but they are all friends with him, too. And I don't hang out with them alone without husband, which is more out of respect than anything.

I admit that I'm a jealous girl, but it's never been anything that hindered our relationship or husband's life. :)

chiapet
05-04-2010, 01:33 PM
See, I think it would be different because even when they felt they were working in our best interest, they turned food and eating into a very emotionally fueled topic. Eating stopped being about enjoying food or just having sustenance and more a way of acting out in some way (whether by exerting or defying control over your eating).

Who knows? I blame my parents a bit, but I'm not sure I'd do much better. Which is fine since I'm not having any kidlets. :)

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 01:34 PM
My issues are some of the many reasons we're not having children. A decision with which I'm quite comfortable. :)

herro kitty
05-04-2010, 02:20 PM
I often wonder why we put so much strength in what we look like to lend to how we feel about ourselves. I feel so much better knowing I am a good person and treat people well than I do knowing that someone thinks I am pretty or not. If people don't like the way I look then fuck them, or don't fuck them... They don't have to look at me. We need to start putting more stock in our own feelings then how we feel about what others feel about us. I don't look at myself and say damn im fine, but I don't think I am ugly either. I am just me and that is all I can do.

Damn Loca you are awesome.

Hannahrain
05-04-2010, 02:24 PM
Becca, as brief as our meeting was, you seemed to be pretty perfectly suited to your current shape. I thought you looked great.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 02:58 PM
Damn Loca you are awesome.

I say that is how it should be, and I do try to stick to that, but I have my own mental issues. I put too much stock in how people perceive me. Not my looks so much, but my actions. I won't do something I want to do because I worry that I am too old or too fat or whatever. My looks aren't going to change but I do restrict myself quite a bit by worrying too much of other peoples opinions. It is something I am working on. I have done it for too long and missed out on a lot in life. Now it is time to get it all back before I am too old to enjoy it. :)

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 03:05 PM
Becca, as brief as our meeting was, you seemed to be pretty perfectly suited to your current shape. I thought you looked great.

I would like to take this moment to agree, and I hope I can get a li'l grope in at ATP.

miscorrections
05-04-2010, 03:06 PM
Also guys I just want to tell you that I put in a hair ribbon this morning and my mood has been fantastic all day. I think the two are related. Everyone go buy ribbons.

locachica73
05-04-2010, 03:14 PM
im too old for ribbons... ;)

just kidding (kinda)

rskapcat
05-04-2010, 03:50 PM
Becca, as brief as our meeting was, you seemed to be pretty perfectly suited to your current shape. I thought you looked great.


I would like to take this moment to agree, and I hope I can get a li'l grope in at ATP.

Thanks, gals. Corinna, I'll be waiting. :)

I'm actually pretty comfortable in my skin now. Took a while to get there, though.

sames44
05-06-2010, 07:07 AM
http://ksp.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pKSLCI1-6357234v275.jpg

want

miscorrections
05-06-2010, 08:35 AM
Want:

http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.142232090.jpg

captncrzy
05-06-2010, 09:07 AM
Want:

http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.142232090.jpg

YESH! In red for me.

weeklymix
05-06-2010, 09:24 AM
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y197/kroquet/LisaFrankPenguin.jpg

miscorrections
05-06-2010, 09:27 AM
Can I be the little penguin?

chairmenmeow47
05-06-2010, 10:42 AM
i found a bunch of lisa frank stuff while cleaning out boxes from my parents. i used to "save" all the stickers by putting them on pieces of paper for some reason.

miscorrections
05-06-2010, 10:48 AM
God I want a Lisa Frank tshirt.

J~$$$$
05-06-2010, 10:58 AM
I have a Lisa Frank trapper keeper at my parents house that I kept some crappy baseball cards in.

miscorrections
05-06-2010, 12:16 PM
Want:

http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.142232090.jpg

I bought. Oops.

daxton
05-06-2010, 12:22 PM
LOL

herro kitty
05-06-2010, 04:57 PM
i'm behind the times...

barb, i have no idea what term you are using, but my pelvis bone also sticks out in the front a bit. my old BFF's sister used to say i looked like i had a boner when we went swimming as kids. i hate it too. i've gotten used to it as i've gotten older, but i definitely avoid pants that are too tight in the top. when i go swimming, i also tend to stick out my ass a bit to compensate or tie sarongs around my waist. i really don't know what to say other than i have the same problem, and it never prevented anyone from entering my cash & prizes.

I kepy saying "enlarged crotch bone" until someone told me it's a "mons pubis". I dunno, people google that term a lot :) And yeah, I stick my butt out but sometimes I do it a little too much and then I look silly, hehe. I really like wearing leotards but.... I look like a boy when I do.. One guy actually asked me if I had a penis before!!



I'm getting my period soon.. so my boobs are so tender and swollen. They swell a whole cup size bigger for a week! I wish they stayed this way all the time. Hehe.

amyzzz
05-06-2010, 05:46 PM
Lucky!